Episode 5
– Not everyone looks up to Mac Danzig. In fact, it seems like the majority of the house is becoming annoyed with him. Mac ripped into Blake Bowman after losing to Richie Hightower in the previous episode. It wasn’t so much the loss but that Blake looked very amateurish in being easily handled by Richie. Danzig accused Blake of not being a real fighter and that leads to the lame storyline that was featured throughout the episode.
– Matt Hughes wasn’t happy to hear about Danzig’s comments so he confronts the team and Mac. Nothing Hughes says seems to get through to Danzig. It seems like Danzig just learned to keep his feelings to himself rather than to respect the funny lanky kids that want to be fighters but don’t have the talent, experience, or motivation to achieve it. I kind of agree with Mac on this one. It makes the show look more like American Idol where anyone off the street can enter the contest. I think I could take Blake Bowman and my fight resume ends with the 7th grade gym scuffle I had over the ownership of a basketball. I won with a DDT. I’m not kidding.
– The Bowman/Danzig gayness continues when they watch Cole Miller beat Andy Wang on TV. Bowman is friends with Cole and Danzig is friends with Andy Wang. Bowman discredits Wang in the eyes of Danzig and here we go again. This would be the best time ever for Shonie Carter to walk through the room in a bedazzled thong and plead, “Can’t we all just get along?”
– Paul gets bad news from home when he learns that his younger cousin has passed away. Paul used to train MMA with his cousin and the loss is devastating to his family. He realizes that he must make a decision: stay and fight or leave and mourn. Paul decides to leave and be with his family, but Dana presents him with an even better option. Dana will allow Paul to return to the show after mourning with his family but Paul must fight before he leaves. Paul obviously accepts the terms.
– It looked like Hughes wanted to put Jared into fight this week but those plans have now changed. Paul wants to fight War Machine but Hughes thinks Troy is a better matchup for him. Paul doesn’t really care which one it is but he says he feels more comfortable against War Machine. Let me now state that it bothers me to no end that this guy is called War Machine not only by his peers but by former world champion Matt Hughes. The kid’s name is Jon. War Machine is a moniker that you must earn. No one, Hughes especially, should lower themselves to calling this goof War Machine in their daily conversations.
– Paul ends up fighting Troy. Hey, Hughes finally won something. Paul is supposedly better on the ground than Troy. Because Team Hughes doesn’t follow directions, Paul keeps the fight on his feet. Paul is holding his own and landing his jab pretty well but he gets rocked by Troy when the fight is restarted on their feet. Troy follows up with another shot that crumbles Paul as he is backing up. And I really mean crumbles him. The fight is over and Team Serra has moved to 4-1.
Episode 6
– Fight selection goes down earlier than usual this episode, like in the first scene. Matt Serra is up to choose the fight and he pits Ben against Dan. I believe Dan was the first pick for Team Hughes.
– Dan shadow boxes a dumpster. Whatever gets you ready. He also drops a knee to the gonads of Jared. After taking some earlier liberties with Blake, it was time for Matt Hughes to intervene and give Dan a lesson in the school of hard knocks. His words, not mine.
– Dan’s hand is huge and bruised. He gets an X-Ray and heads home to pull the okey-doke on the guys. Barrera fakes like his hand injury is forcing him out of the competition. Oh that kidder. Dan’s hand is fine and he has been cleared to fight.
– Dan’s wife calls and says she has a medical issue, which she describes as a panic anxiety attack. Dan thinks it might be a seizure. Dan prays with her on the phone as she sobs like a lonely woman. I think she just misses her some Dan. Dana White thinks this phone call couldn’t have come at a worse time for Dan. Dan also reveals that he quit his job to be on this show.
– Now Barrera is saying that he will win because he has the lord on his side. Is that even fair? And how does Barrera know that the lord even approves of his new vocation. It all seems rather fishy to me and I wish it were just a one-on-one bout but now we have this handicap match stipulation.
– Ben catches Dan with a knee early. Dan is deciding to throw punches and kicks with Ben. I thought he was a wrestler. Dan follows a Ben kick attempt with a straight right that floors Ben. Dan rushes and Ben goes for a triangle that Dan powerbombs out of. Ben is smiling on the ground and absolutely nothing happens for 30 seconds. Dan stares while Ben smiles. This might be gayer than the 69 positions these guys find themselves in from time to time *on accident*. Ben is laying on his back with his hands behind his head and a dopey smile on his face while Dan just stares at him. They get back up and Dan lands some good shots but Ben lands some nice shots to close the round as Dan runs away. One of Ben’s final shots of the round opens a nice gash on the top of Dan’s head.
– Ben seems freaky long and uses his reach to open the 2nd round. Ben is landing kicks and knees when Dan comes in to punch. Ben is consistently picking at Dan with his jab and kicks. Ben lands a big knee out of a clinch and Dan is down. He gets up but he is loopy. Ref Herb Dean asks Dan if he can see with all the blood and Dan says no. Dean halts the fight and asks Dan if he wants to continue and Dan points at his eye and says he can’t see. Dean waves off the fight and Hughes loses it. Dean asks Dan again and Dan says he wants to fight. Dean restarts the fight. What the hell? If you wave it off, that should be a final call. Whatever. The fight resumes and Dan just kinda tries to survive.
– Everyone gets ready for the third round but that is not to be. There is a winner. By majority decision the winner is Ben Saunders. Matt Hughes proves Matt Serra right by interrogating the judges that scored the first round for Ben. He asks them where they go to Judging School. It would be awesome if he handed out eye glasses to the judges prior to next week’s fight. I don’t think the decision was as bad as Hughes and Dana White make it out to be. Dan could have won the first round if he would have done something other than stare lovingly into Ben’s eyes for half of it. He also spent the last 30 seconds of the round running away, something that looks bad in the judges’ eyes. There is also the issue of the cut that he received. When compared to Dan’s knockdown I can see how a judge or two would side with Ben.
– The win gives Matt Serra control of the quarterfinal matchups. Dana gives both Ben and Dan the $5,000 bonus for fighting a great contest. The episode hilariously ends with a shot of Matt Hughes being enclosed in a garage with only a couple of boxes and his feelings of emptiness.
