The SmackDown Report

Oh boy, I am beat. I did 9 hours of work yesterday after Class. That’s a first for me, I’m not used to doing that much in one single day or even a week, so I was half dead by the end of the day. I am not looking forward to this week coming, but the timetable is kind of better at least. I’ll be so happy when TAFE is over and I have no more assignments to do. And that’s my weekly bitch and moan session, ladies and gentlemen. I hope you enjoyed it.

SmackDown really needs a revamp visually, doesn’t it? I’d love to see a combination of the old school entrance with the modern entrance. Anyways; tonight it’s Finlay and Mysterio vs. Montel Vontavious Porter and Matt Hardy, and all four are already in the ring in MVP’s V.I.P Lounge. Porter says he doesn’t want Finlay and Mysterio fighting in the Lounge, because the fans want to hear about their Cyber Sunday stipulations. Finlay runs down the possible stipulations. Finlay and Mysterio get tense, with Mysterio speaking in Spanish – which Finlay confuses with Mandarin. Mysterio brings up Hardy vs. Porter. Hardy says he wants the wrestling match (gets my vote), but Porter says Hardy shouldn’t want that – because Porter’s already proven he’s better than Hardy when it comes to wrestling. The four finally get back to their Tag Team match tonight; Finlay and Mysterio begin fighting, with Hardy and Porter place bets on Mysterio and Finlay (in each man’s home countries currencies, in a very nice touch). The fight eventually comes to an end and the faces leave.

Anastasia Rose is backstage with Batista. We get a recap of Layfield calling Batista a coward. I’m looking forward to Batista versus Undertaker, and it’s one of the few times that I think I might actually enjoy seeing Austin being the referee. For a few reasons: Layfield’s ranting on commentary, Austin / Undertaker confrontation (hasn‘t been a Dead Man non-Motorbike Undertaker / Austin confrontation since like, what, 99?), and a Batista / Austin confrontation has the possibility to be quite interesting so long as it doesn’t end in a beer bath or stunner. Although, if I’m right, it’ll be Layfield who gets given a stunner before Batista and Austin celebrate with a damned beer bash Anyways, where was I? Batista says he’s not afraid of Undertaker, and when it comes to beating Undertaker, there’s a first time for everything.


Opening Contest: Kane vs. Mark Henry
Henry knocks Kane down to start. Henry drops an elbow, which Kane rolls out of the way of. Kane with a low dropkick for a two count. Kane goes for a scoop slam but Henry stops it. Henry with a scoop slam. Henry signals for the bear hug, and he locks it in! Kane looks to escape by choking Henry, but Henry sends Kane into the corner. Henry walks into a big boot by Kane, and Kane follows it up with right hands. Kane signals for the choke slam but Henry avoids it. Henry off the ropes into a Chokeslam by Kane for the three count!
Winner: Kane

Meh. One out of Ten.

Layfield is doing a campaign to be the referee at Cyber Sunday. Fantastic touch. But what’s with the political references on WWE this week? Is your election just heating up or something?

Mick Foley montage. I wonder if that Hell In A Cell between he and Taker will still be as awesome as it is now ten years from now?

Tonight: JBL will Interview The Undertaker.


Diva Search stuff. It’s down to two. Michael Cole introduces us to the Diva Search girls. This is, what, the fourth year? Cole gives the girls the microphone, and it’s a Diss the Diva sort of schtick. Brooke calls the skinny Eve ‘huge’. Eve is the less lame of the two, so she gets my support. That Brooke sounds like a massive douche bag.


Porter, Hardy, Finlay, and Mysterio make their entrances.


Second Contest: Montel Vontavious Porter and Matt Hardy vs. Rey Mysterio and Finlay
This is the match I wanted to see at Cyber Sunday, but I’ll settle for seeing it for free. Hardy and Finlay start. Lock up and Finlay forces Hardy into the corner. Another lock up and Finlay gets a headlock on Hardy. Hardy takes Finlay into Finlay’s corner, and Mysterio is tagged in. Lock up and Mysterio goes after the arm of Hardy. Hardy reverses the arm lock, which becomes turned into a hammerlock before Porter tags himself in. Mysterio with a nice spinning head scissors takedown to Porter. Finlay back in, as is Hardy. Finlay goes after the leg of Hardy, but Hardy keeps up with Finlay and neither get an advantage in their grappling. Mysterio is back in. Mysterio off the ropes; Hardy jumps over Mysterio and takes Mysterio down with a clothesline. Scoop slam and fist drop by Hardy for a two count over Mysterio.

Porter in, and he mudhole stomps Mysterio in the corner. Porter kicks Mysterio to the outside. Mysterio slowly makes his way back in the ring, with Finlay yelling at him while he does. Porter tries to go after the leg of Mysterio, but the referee warns him off. Mysterio gets the advantage quickly and tags out to Finlay, who comes in with knees to the spine of Porter. Scoop slam by Finlay for a two count over Porter. Finlay with a butt drop to the back of Porter, and Finlay covers for a two count. Mysterio in with a over the rope splash to Porter, Mysterio covers for a two count. Mysterio goes up top but Porter drops him groin first and drops him to the canvas, where Porter covers for a two count. Porter goes after the leg of Mysterio before covering for a two count over Mysterio. Mysterio kicks Porter in the face and tries to follow with the Wheelborrow bulldog, but Porter slams Mysterio face first on the canvas. Finlay breaks up a pinfall, and Hardy comes in to stop in – and it isn’t long before all four are arguing.


We’re back and Hardy is hitting Finlay with elbows in the corner. Finlay tackles Hardy into Hardy’s corner, where Porter comes in and attacks Finlay right away. Finlay rolls outside to regroup himself. Finlay flicks some sweat at Porter. Finlay goes right at the leg of Porter. Finlay tries to tag out to Mysterio, but Mysterio steps on the steel steps and Finlay has to continue the match. Porter shoves Finlay into Porter’s corner, and Porter nails some spears. Finlay attacks Porter and tags out to Mysterio. Mysterio with a snap mare and low dropkick to Porter for a two count. Mysterio with a running leg drop to Porter. Mysterio locks in a head scissors on Porter. Porter escapes it and works the legs of Mysterio! Porter slams Mysterio’s knees into the corner, and Mysterio quickly crawls towards the ropes. Hardy tagged in, and he goes for a Razor’s Edge but Mysterio turns it into a hurricanrana! Mysterio off the ropes into a clothesline – and Hardy is gushing blood. It needed, what, thirty seven stitches or something? Hardy with a side effect to Mysterio, Hardy covers for a two count. Mysterio tackles Hardy into Mysterio’s corner, and Finlay goes right at the cut of Hardy. Finlay clubs Hardy and nails a nice knee face buster. Finlay with a boot right to the head of Hardy. Finlay with a short arm clothesline over Hardy for a two count. Mysterio comes in.

Mysterio lets Hardy get to his feet before setting Hardy up for the 619! Porter tags himself in but Mysterio sets him up for the 619 as well! Double 619 to Porter and Hardy! Mysterio misses the West Coast Hop to Porter and Mysterio lands into a Shillelagh shot by Finlay! Playmaker by Porter for the three count!
Winners: Montel Vontavious Porter and Matt Hardy

Very enjoyable, good wrestling, it got about twenty or so minutes, and it gets extra credit just for Hardy continuing without even looking to be phased by his rather nasty cut. I also loved the slow burn before the commercial break. The Porter / Hardy feud was put on the shelf temporarily to focus on the Mysterio / Finlay feud, which actually ended up making Hardy / Porter seem like they were finally without a doubt a legit team. I’m definitely recording the repeat just for this match. And, by the way, in case I haven’t made it clear how much I liked this match, one of the good things about this match is that it had the genuine unique feel to it – depending on which way either storyline goes, I doubt the possibility of a rematch, and that’s a good thing Just in case you couldn’t tell, I really, really enjoyed this match. Nine out of Ten.

Still to come: JBL has a chat with The Undertaker.


Recap of Batista vs. Undertaker rivalry.

Vickie Guerrero and Armando Estrada are backstage. Estrada thanks Guerrero for letting there be an ECW Triple Threat match on SmackDown. Estrada leaves, and Jamie Noble enters. Noble tries hitting on her. She plays along for a while before she sets him up in a match against Batista. Noble goes agro and storms out.


Third Contest: Batista vs. Jamie Noble
We’re 80 minutes into the episode and only up to the third match. I think that’s a good thing. Layfield puts Noble over because he stays and fights. Noble gets some shots in, but Batista hit’s a spear, a spine buster, and a Batista Bomb for the victory.
Winner: Batista

-Five out of Ten. Batista yells at Layfield post match.

Stone Cold Steve Austin video.

Up next: The Miz vs. John Morrison vs. Big Daddy V


Fourth Contest: The Miz vs. John Morrison vs. Big Daddy V w/ Matt Striker
What’s with the slow motion on Morrison’s entrance? Seriously, what the hell is with that? Morrison and Miz go right at V to start, or, at least, Morrison shoves Miz into an attack by V. Morrison jumps on V’s back from behind, but V nails Morrison with a military press. V puts Miz and Morrison in the corner and nails a splash. V clotheslines Morrison and Miz to the outside. V then sets the pair up next to the steel post and charges, but Morrison and Miz avoid the attack. Miz and Morrison go after each other. Miz spears Morrison into the ring apron. Back in the ring, Morrison kicks Miz in the head and covers for a two count. Morrison with a cobra clutch on Miz, but Miz escapes. V attacks Miz on the outside. Samoan drop by V on Morrison. Sideslam on Miz by V. V gets a big elbow drop on Miz for the three count.
Winner: Big Daddy V

Yeah, that was totally great. Two out of Ten. I wasn’t really all that into this match, even if all three have become stable members of the ECW roster. I’d rather see them put ECW wrestlers against SmackDown wrestlers, but this still adds a nice bit of diversity to the roster at least. One of my problems with this match, however, is that Styles and Taz should be commentating the ECW matches. It’s their brand, their brand’s top three heels (what little that says, mind you), and they’d have been able to make this match seem more important by simply being there. There was no reason for them to not have temporarily replaced Cole and Layfield. As a matter of fact, you could even have thrown Estrada on there just to make the match seem more special – not often a GM commentates on matches anymore.

And my other problem with this match is that it was three heels against each other. Sometimes heel vs. heel works. But I can’t imagine a heel vs. heel vs. heel match that would work, especially when two of the wrestler’s gimmicks are their ego and the other wrestler’s gimmick is as an unstoppable force. I like the coincidence that the biggest heel in this match is the only one out of these three we’ve seen can play good guy successfully. Would it have hurt to instead just have a six man tag of these three guys against Punk, Mahoney, and Dreamer? One final question, though: if they were worried that ECW might be axed, why didn’t they just take up USA’s offer of a three hour RAW and have the new hour be all ECW? That’s another bitch and moan session from Pulse Wrestling’s SmackDown Recapper But I do like a little bit of diversity on SmackDown, so I’m all for ECW showing on SmackDown.

Still to come: JBL interviews Undertaker.


RAW Rebound.

Fifth Contest: Jesse and Festus vs. Cannon Fodder Jobbers (Editor’s note: According to, the jobbers were Joe Hennig (Mr. Perfect’s son) & Superstar Steve Fender)
Yeah, whatever. This ends quickly.
Winers: Jesse and Festus

-Five out of Ten.

Michael Cole and JBL run down the Cyber Sunday card.

JBL is in the ring. Layfield hypes up the Cyber Sunday SmackDown Main Event match, and then simply begins running down the fans. Layfield plays the Flair card in calling Foley a glorified stuntman, and says that he knows the fans will not vote for Austin. Layfield reveals he’s made his own vignette, which is of course classic. You’ve just got to love WWE Videos. Layfield gets some guys to bring out “Vote For JBL” t-shirts, which he is giving away. Layfield begins the JBL chant, but the bells go off and the lights black out. Undertaker makes his long entrance. Layfield says he’ll make sure that Undertaker wins over Batista, and then tells Undertaker to wear one of his campaign shirts. Taker removes his coat, then his hat – even though Layfield has a button that Undertaker could have put on it. Layfield reminds Taker that, unlike Batista, he has beaten the Undertaker. Chokeslam to Layfield. Batista’s music hits. Batista makes his way on out and spears Undertaker! Batista leaves the ring and Undertaker sits on up as SmackDown fades out.

The Inside Pulse
Kane defeats Mark Henry: 1/10
Montel Vontavious Porter and Matt Hardy defeat Rey Mysterio and Finlay: 9/10
Batista squashes Jamie Noble: -5/10
Big Daddy V defeats The Miz and John Morrison: 2/10
Jesse and Festus defeat Jobbers: -5/10
SmackDown 26/10/07: 2/50

The only bad matches tonight went less than two or so minutes, and both were entertaining in their own cute way. But, of course, the real reason to watch this show is the misfit partners tag team match. I think it was one of the better matches I’ve seen this year, in terms of story and wrestling quality. The fact that I didn’t need to shell out thirty bucks to see it makes it seem even better. I’m still not over giving that match as much praise as I can. I recommend watching this episode as much as possible for the Finlay / Mysterio / Hardy / Porter goodness, or at least trying to check it out on You Tube. Until next week!


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