Pulse Wrestling’s WWE Monday Night RAW Report For 11/05/2007

Tonight’s show is dedicated to the memory of the Fabulous Moolah. She was one of the greatest women in wrestling history.

Opening video…check; pyro check; WE ARE LIVE on Monday Night RAW! Live from “The City of Angels”, Los Angeles, where somewhere nearby the writers are picketing outside.

“Are You Ready?”

Degeneration X is back as both Triple H and Shawn Michaels toss out green glow sticks to the crowd. Triple H does his thing, reminding us that this is for one night only. Of all people, HORNSWOGGLE, interrupts the opening bit. He chases Shawn around the ring, crotch chopping him along the way. Triple H says that it is different and sends Hornswoggle away. Shawn plugs the all the DX merchandise and he pulls out a writer’s sheet. Talk about sticking it to the Writer’s Guild. Hornswoggle takes Shawn down with a “Short” arm scissors. Shawn lets him in DX for tonight, but Triple H says no. There’s a monster underneath the ring. Shawn goes and look and gets dragged underneath. He comes out with worms in his mouth.

The Boogeyman’s music plays and he comes from underneath the ring. Hornswoggle hides behind DX as Triple H says “Yes, that’s a midget between my legs.”

“I’m the Boogeyman and I’m comin’ to see if I can join DX.”

HAHAHA! Shawn makes another executive decision to let Boogeyman join DX. And this segment gets even weirder as The Great Khali and his manager walks down the aisle. Shawn Michaels says that to keep him from being turned into a slim jim, that he would ignore Khali. Triple H mocks Khali and they try again.

Now the Coach interrupts. He is shutting this nonsense down, saying that the fans came to see action and not immature actions. Triple H speaks to the translator guy and gets Shawn to forsake Him in order to get Khali to chase after Coach. The entire cast, sans Shawn Michaels and Triple H, leaves the ring. Another Writer’s Guild cheapshot and FINALLY they say it.

This was a nice inoffensive way to use up 18 minutes. DX v. Orton/Umaga will take place tonight, and Stone Cold returns to RAW tonight!

Commercials.

Tom Green is here tonight, along with Luke Perry. With the writer’s on strike, they have time to show up. We go back to last week and the Divas Battle Royal. For those that have short term memory, Kelly Kelly won the match and got destroyed by Beth Phoenix.

Kelly Kelly makes her way to the ring. She appears to be having a match against Beth Phoenix. This is her reward for winning last week.

Kelly Kelly v. Beth Phoenix

Beth explodes with a short arm clothesline and finishes Kelly Kelly with the Fisherman’s Suplex.

Winner: Beth Phoenix
Match Length: 37 seconds
Match Rating: NR

Beth smiles and she leaves the ring as we head backstage with Santino Marella. He has bad news tonight. Stone Cold won’t be at RAW tonight. If he does show up, Santino has a paper bag for him to act his way out of it. Okay

Commercials.

We are back and we are being treated with Jeff Hardy & Rey Mysterio v. Mr. Kennedy & Finlay.

Carlito is in the ring and seems to be facing off against a jobber, but Carlito has a replacement. Out comes Snitsky!

Snitsky v. Joey

Snitsky nails a Shoulderblock to Joey, followed by a big boot. Pumphandle Slam and we end it.

Winner: Snitsky
Match Length: 34 seconds
Match Rating: -** So bad that it needs to have the negative sign before it.

Post match, Carlito receives the same treatment as Joey. The replay shows that Snitsky kicked apple out of Carlito’s mouth.

We get a video about Jeff Hardy, brought to you by Lost Prophets. The song is “Rooftops”.

Backstage, Hardy and Mysterio discuss strategy as the interpromotional tag match is next!

Commercials.

Back to RAW and hopefully we can get a match that lasts longer than a minute. We join Mr. Kennedy and his super-cool intro already in progress. Finlay shows up and we get a match graphic hyping Team Triple H v. Team Umaga for Survivor Series. Something to note, Jeff Hardy is wearing the Intercontinental Title, but it is covered by his shirt.

Jeff Hardy & Rey Mysterio v. Mr. Kennedy & Finlay

Finlay and Hardy starts things off. Hardy backs Finlay into the corner. Finlay focuses on Mysterio, but he locks up with Hardy. Shoulderblock doesn’t take Hardy down. Finlay gets a wristlock and he gets Hardy in a pinning position. Hardy counters the two provide great mat based wrestling to start things off. SLAP to Finlay’s face and Kennedy interferes. Hardy tosses Kennedy outside and Finlay tosses Hardy. All four men fight, but it is quickly separated as Finlay and Kennedy stare at each other. We take an ad break at 2:00. That’s longer than a minute.

Commercials.

Back at 5:15 as Mysterio and Kennedy are in the ring. Springboard flip takes Kennedy down. Mysterio follows up with a headscissors. Senton drop takes Kennedy down, but Kennedy bounces up and nails a low dropkick. Finlay tags in and he works on the knees of Mysterio. Finlay nails a scoop slam with the knee hitting the ropes and follows up with a half Boston Crab. He breaks the hold and he attacks Hardy. Kennedy comes in and he applies a torque onto the knee against the ropes. They tag each other in and continue to work on the knee. Pinning situation gets two and Finlay comes back into the action. He has Mysterio backed up in the turnbuckle and he works more. Wheelbarrow connects and Hardy gets the hot tag, as does Kennedy. Hardy goes to town on Kennedy with the wraparound clothesline for two. Splash connects as does the double leg dropkick to the chest. WHISPER IN THE WIND connects for one as Finlay interrupts. Mysterio drops both men to the middle rope and nails the 619 on Kennedy and the West Coast Pop on Finlay! SWANTON BOMB connects on Kennedy and Hardy gets the duke!

Winners: Jeff Hardy & Rey Mysterio
Match Length: 10:08
Match Rating: *** – These four men work well together as I’m liking both feuds.

Backstage, Santino is on the cell phone. Maria shows up and she says that Stone Cold is here. Santino jokes around some more and it seems the confrontation is NEXT!

Commercials.

ECW Tomorrow: CM Punk defends the ECW Title against John Morrison. Blatt will have coverage of that epic match tomorrow night on Pulse Wrestling.

We get footage of “The Mouth from the South” Jimmy Hart at the site of Wrestlemania 24 where everyone bought tickets to the show. I know WWE has a backup plan in case it rains that night.

Maria is coming out to the ring in a hot blue dress. Santino follows her out as well, but I don’t care about him. Santino has the mic and he says that Stone Cold is not going to be here, which means he will be here. Stone Cold is like Kobe Bryant and doesn’t want to be here in L.A. He invites the director of “The Condemned” to stand up and take a bow. He must be mad because he’s out of work while the writers are on strike. Santino is a great talker, I will give him that.

“J.R. is not going to reach the point of orgasm.” – HAHAHA! Santino officially rules!

The glass shatters and he is coming out. He pretends that Santino doesn’t exist, saluting the fans with a beer copy of “The Condemned” in the air. Austin has a microphone as Santino has officially crapped his pants.

They shake hands as Stone Cold talks about his movie. Stone Cold hates the fact that Santino misquoted him with the ass-whip and mud pie reference. Santino acts like a smartass. Stone Cold quizzes Santino about the movie. Santino lost 90 minutes of his life. Stone Cold asks Santino if he wants a beer with Stone Cold. Santino declines the kind offer. He hands the DVD to Santino. Santino drops the DVD and he steps on it, kicking it away. STONE COLD STUNNER! Santino sold that perfectly. Austin takes and he sticks the DVD into his mouth, He leaves the ring as Maria consoles him. Austin comes back out with the Budweiser Truck. He pulls out the beer hose as Maria leaves the ring. Santino gets drenched in beer! Austin stands him up and he decks him, his head nails the back of the bottom turnbuckle. Maria consoles Santino some more as Austin sees this. He takes and he stares at Maria. He picks the hose up and Maria tries to beg him off. Santino gets back up as Maria pleads with Austin. He hoses Maria down to the fans’ approval. That was fun. Steve Austin gets drunk on top of the truck as J.R. – uhhh nevermind. I won’t go there.

Later tonight, DX takes on Randy Orton and Umaga.

Commercials.

Can You Break the Code? 19 Launch. The answer is the code. The code is the answer. That is the new video.

We get treated to a replay of the beer bath. Backstage, Hornswoggle and Mr. McMahon talk about parenting. Mr. McMahon knows a lot about parenting. This is weird. Mr. McMahon loves Hornswoggle. He says that Hornswoggle needs to stand on his own two feet. He books Hornswoggle against The Great Khali for Survivor Series. Hornswoggle looks very concerned.

Survivor Series Rundown

Hornswoggle v. The Great Khali
Team Triple H (Triple H, Jeff Hardy, Matt Hardy, Rey Mysterio & Kane) v. Team Umaga ( Umaga, Mr. Kennedy, MVP, Finlay & Big Daddy V) – Survivor Series Elimination Match
Batista v. Undertaker – Hell in a Cell for the World Heavyweight Championship
Randy Orton v. Shawn Michaels – WWE Championship

Triple H is backstage because he was begged to waste time while the ring crew clean up after Steve Austin’s mess. Without further ado, Triple H brings out the DX dancers. Enter Big Dick Johnson. Shawn Michaels leaves since he is a married man. Triple H brings out the Girls Next Door, straight from Playboy. He has his backup plan in place.

Commercials.

Wrestlemania comes to the Citrus Bowl on March 30th, 2008. Tickets are still available.

We are back as Cody Rhodes & Hardcore Holly makes their way to the ring in tandem. Cody will be in singles action. Mickie James wishes Trevor Murdoch luck tonight, but she gets sent away by a nasty Lance Cade. Lillian Garcia announces Lance Cade as Cody’s opponent, but it is apparent that Cade isn’t dressed to compete tonight.

Cody Rhodes v. Trevor Murdoch

Trevor Murdoch nails a hard chop before sending him to the ropes. Rhodes nails a jab at the face and he sends Murdoch to the corner. On the outside, Rhodes looks to come in. He does the hard way as Murdoch nails a snapmare and applies the chinlock. Rhodes gets out of the move, but Murdoch applies a sleeper. He whips Cody to the ropes. Suplex attempt countered as Rhodes nails a dropkick. Bulldog hits the mark as Rhodes gets a two count following a knee to the face. Murdoch is back up as he charges towards Rhodes, who gets a leg up. Cade tries to get involved while Rhodes is on top, but is unsuccessful. Murdoch charges, eats the turnbuckle, and gets rolled up for a Rhodes’ victory.

Winner: Cody Rhodes

Match Length: 3:00 (approx)
Match Rating: ** – Fast paced match. It looks like the Highlanders are getting ignored once again, but this is acceptable. I’m digging the Holly/Rhodes team. They have great potential.

J.R. talks about the Fabulous Moolah, who left us on Friday. We get a video tribute highlighting the epic career of the Fabulous Moolah. R.I.P.

Commercials.

Dusty Hill from ZZ Top is here, as well as Jamie Kennedy from “The Jamie Kennedy Experiment”. The stars are out tonight as Hacksaw Jim Duggan and Super Crazy are on RAW!!! They get a Ho-Si chant going.

Ho-Si (Hacksaw Jim Duggan & Super Crazy) v. The World’s Greatest Tag Team

The bell rings as Haas gets Super Crazy in the ring. Scoop Slam connects as Benjamin gets a Scoop Slam of his own. He tags back Haas and another Scoop Slam connects. Benjamin connects and it is a scoop slam contest. Super Crazy tries to tag Duggan in, but Benjamin prevents that from happening. Benjamin is in control as another Scoop Slam is countered into a rollup for the win for Ho-Si!

Winners: Ho-Si
Match Time: 1:46
Match Rating: 1/2* – Too many Scoop Slams kinda prevented this from getting anywhere. The finish came out from nowhere as well.

Post match, Hacksaw defends Super Crazy as Haas and Benjamin back off.

Commercials.

WWE Rewind: Shawn Michaels saves Triple H from a vicious 2-on-1 assault last week.

It is 9:52pm and it is time for our main event. Umaga makes his way to the ring in a very ticked off mood. HEY! It’s Randy Orton, the One Man Dynasty. They remind us of Cyber Sunday 2006 when he beat DX with Edge as his partner. DX comes out and immediately the fight ensues.

DX v. Randy Orton & Umaga

DX tosses Orton aside and the two take on Umaga. Umaga whips both to the ropes and they come back and take Umaga out of the ring. Triple H beats on Randy Orton on the announcer’s table before throwing him back into the ring. Tag to Michaels, who gets a wristlock on Orton. Orton fights back and tags in Umaga, who dishes out the punishment. Samoan Drop is countered to a Sunset Flip attempt. Buttdrop misses and Michaels tags in HHH, who takes it to Umaga. HHH nails a DDT, but Umaga gets back up. Umaga tosses Triple H around and nails a splash as we head to break 2:45 into the match.

Commercials.

December 10th will be a three hour RAW!

We are back at 5:55 as HHH is in trouble. The Rear End Collison MISSES! Orton gets a tag in and he tries to nail HHH. He runs into a foot and HHH takes him down as the referee counts. At seven, Michaels is a man on fire, who takes it to Orton. Scoop Slam connects and he goes on top. DIVING ELBOW connects and Umaga takes Michael’s head off. Orton tags in Umaga, who nails a headbutt. Umaga stomps into Michaels and he gets a blatant choke. Michaels climbs up to his feet and they take the fight to the corner. Umaga nails punches to take Michaels down. Orton is in and he nails a textbook dropkick for two. Orton stomps on the wrist and he tries to find a body part to work on. Now he goes for the legs. HBK chants play as both men nail rights at each other. Drop toe hold connects and Umaga comes in. He nails the splash on Michael’s back! He follows up to a nerve pinch to the neck as Michaels tries to fight out of it, only to get a headbutt for his trouble. Umaga is on top and he misses the flying headbutt. Michaels inches closer to HHH and Umaga catches his leg. Enzugiri connects as Orton and HHH are tagged in. Whip to the ropes and the high knee connects! Knee smash on Umaga connects as Umaga gets tossed to the ring post. HHH fires a Spinebuster on Orton and looks to deliver the Pedigree. SAMOAN SPIKE connects as both men are down! The referee proceeds to count. Orton goes for a cover and HHH kicks out at a close two count. Umaga is back in as Umaga sets HHH up for the Rear End Collision. That move CONNECTS! Umaga cheap shots Michaels as Umaga tries for a splash, but Umaga lands on HHH’s feet!. Orton stalks HHH and looks for the RKO. RKO .is countered as HHH sends Orton into Umaga. Michaels is in and SWEET CHIN MUSIC connects AGAIN! He picks up the win!

Winners: DX
Match Length: 16:00
Match Rating: **** – Lots of action here. This was a very fine TV match.

Post match, DX stands tall.

Show over.

The Inside Pulse

Quick Results

Beth Phoenix d. Kelly Kelly in 37 seconds (0)
Snitsky d. Joey in 34 seconds (-**)
Jeff Hardy & Rey Mysterio d. Mr. Kennedy & Finlay in 10:08 (***)
Cody Rhodes d. Trevor Murdoch in 3:00 (approx.) (**)
Ho-Si (Hacksaw Jim Duggan & Super Crazy) d. The World’s Greatest Tag Team in 1:46 (1/2*)
DX d. Randy Orton & Umaga in 16:00 (****)