GOOD LUCK TO THE TROOPS THAT
MIGHT READ THIS!
T H E
M O N D A Y
N I G H T
R A B B L E
SoooOOOOoo… here are are live in the middle of New Jersey. (Live when I type it.. not when you read it. That wouldn’t make sense) Where we sit and watch Monday Night Raw and talk to the screen.
Now, I’m not even telling those of the guys who watch the show, I want to take it to the fans first. If I was to say that I might stop Rabbling the weekly show due to a lack of local interest… but instead just did the PPVs… what would you think?
I’m not saying it’s definite. I just want to hear what you guys think first. Fo Serious. Thanks.
Now, to the stars of this week’s show:
ERIC – THE UNDERDOGS
HERNANDEZ – THE ROWDY RODDYS
JENNA – THE KINGS COURT
DANI – THE GUTS & GLORY
And me, the Million Dollar Team,
Finally, from The Darksides, The Inside Pulse forumers… The Insyders.
WWE gives us a quick throw out to Veteran’s Day.
“Nice of them to acknowledge Armistice day” – Insyder SarcasticWolf
“In tradition, it will be Sgt. Slaughter being destroyed by Snitsky.” – Insyder GothamAnswer
So to start the show… of course… Batista! Duh!
“Why’s Batista here?” – Eric
“He’s a Veteran?” – Me
“Batista? What a pleasant surprise. I mean that in all seriousness.” – Outsyder Cash Kerouac
He starts the promo with a memorable, ‘yeaaaahhhh!’
He was invited by William Regal to ‘take on some Raw competition’. He wants Regal to know that he made a huge mistake. He’s not feeling well tonight..
“I took a lot of Clarion… Allergies are killing me.” – Me
He discusses his Hell In The Cell with Undertaker.
So of course, interrupting a Raw interview with Batista… is… the Undertaker?! OH WHY BOTHER!
So Taker gets in the ring with a ref… and hey, maybe a fight? No no no no… here comes Regal! He invited them both to… face Cade & Murdoch? “The greatest tag team on Raw” – Regal
“The Greatest Tag Team on Raw… right now.” – Me
“As in on TV, right this second.” – Eric
TAKER & TISTA vs. CADE & MURDOCH
Sure… fine..
“Hey, lets bury our tag champions!” – Insyder GothamAnswer
Cade starts off getting shoulderblocked into Cade.
“Can we get a commercial?” – Hernandez
Taker now walks up to the top and oldschool droppety drop. Tag to ‘Tista and he beats on Cade for a little bit and gets tossed into the corner in a reversal. Tag to Murdoch. He throws Tista to the ropes. Reversed, but Batista eats a kick to the chest, clothesline, and a pin for two.
Tag back to Cade for two. Finally, a tag to Undertaker and he and Batista clearhouse. Finally, Taker hits the tombstone… the end.
“Now Batista and Taker steal the tag belts and take them hostage like Team 3D… Except no one cares.” – Insyder GothamAnswer
WINNER: TAKER & TISTA
After the bell, Tista throws a Batista Bomb to Murdoch. Woooooptyfuck.
COMMERCIAL ONE – 9:14
We get a flashback to Stone Cold hosing people. Now though, Beth Phoenix!
MARIIAAAAAA! Oh for friggsakes… she is looking ah-maze-ing. Thankfully, Dani isn’t seeing me type this. I tend to get thwapped.
BETH vs. MARIA
HAWT!
Lock up. Beth just drops her on her face…
“THat’s just meaaaaan.” – Me
Maria throws Beth to the corner and goes to choke her out with her leg. Gets dropped into a SPLIT!
“Well, she’s lasted longer than Kelly Kelly” – Hernandez
Maria then steps forward and goes for a headscissors. Then hits a wheelbarrow spot, but is caught into a front swing. Thrown on her back. Cradleplex, done.
“…Well, that was an interesting new position. I’ll have to try that with my girlfriend.” – Insyder GothamAnswer
WINNER: BETH
Santino runs in to check on Maria.. and goes to get a Mic. BRILLIANT!
He then discusses how Cold Stone shot him with a hose of Steveweiser. He wants Austin to come out to apologize. Maria has since left the ring.
So now Santino is going to talk to JR, because he is Austin’s friend.
He mocks on JR’s english and wants ol half-face to stand up and apologize. Instead, Lawler stands up!!! OOOOH SNAP!
“Oh no he dinnnn’t!” – Me
“He clearly did.” – Eric
“..you are right.” – Me
Santino then waits for Jerry to get in the ring, promising that he is going to ‘beat him up’. So Lawler clocks him one. Santino then storms up the aisle screaming, ‘I HATE YOU!’
and then calls him Jerry ‘STUPID’ Lawler. Tee Hee.
“I was hoping that Beth was going to beat down Santino. After all she is more of a man than he is.” – Insyder Soak1313
“That explains why Gavin wants to go down on her then” – Insyder SarcasticWolf
“Is Jerome Lawler getting into a battle of wits with a Sicilian? Did he learn nothing from The Princess Bride?” – Insyder SarcasticWolf
“Next he’ll be starting a land war in Asia.” – Insyder Crippie
This was given to us by BBrianBlair2:
Later, my favorite gimmick match… A LUMBERJACK MATCH!
COMMERCIAL TWO – 9:26
Santino then challenges Lawler, and Lawler accepts. There’s another filler match for the night.
They then show a montage of every superkick that Orton ate ala Shawn. We also learn about the stip on the main event at Survivor Series… Superkick loses the match. Orton DQ’s. He loses the title.
OOoooooEAAAAHHHH – wait a second… Matt Hary?
“Matt Fact: I’m on the wrong show!” – Me
Now, BOOYAKA BOOYAKA! Another mainstay here on Raw…. Rey Mysterio!
Jeff Hardy now.. is he an opponent? Is he… a partner… no idea.
“Couldn’t they have come out with their own Hardy music?” – Eric
“Wrong Hardy.” – Hernandez
“Dances with Hardy? Sign Guy Hardy?” – Me
COMMERCIAL THREE – 9:38
We come back to a Survivor Series flashback to 1987, where Andre won.
MATT & REY REY & JEFF HARDY vs. FINLEY & MVP & KENNEDY
Look at all these people!
Matt starting with Finley. Matt pushes Finley to the corner. They have a shoving match ending in a side headlock from Finley. Pushes to the ropes, Matt goes for a hiptoss, reversed and a pin for two from Finley. Tag to Kennedy now who begins clubbing on Matt. Quick tag to MVP and they go face to face…. MVP won’t beat on him.
Now Matt gets to face Kenendy again. They go fist to fist, and Matt slams Kennedy’s head to the corner, knees to the gut, and a stompy stompy down on the mat.
Kennedy then throws him to the ropes, ducked by Matt, and a crossbody. Some armdrags now from Matt, and he hits another on Finley. He turns his back to look at MVP and he’s thrown out by Kennedy.
COMMERCIAL FOUR – 9:45
Kennedy still in the ring with Matt Hardy. Rey and Jeff looking bored on the apron.
“They’re just happy they’re collecting a paycheck tonight.” – Me
Matt finally breaks out of the stretch. Drops Kennedy. Tags Rey who leaps and neckdrags Finley. Geta two count. Goes for the mid-rope dropkick. Finley responds with a big mean dropkick of his own.
“That wasn’t a dropkick. That was a stompy.” – Hernandez
Tag to MVP for a pin of two. He goes and kicks the hell out of Rey Rey. Abdominal stretch to Rey. Rey punches out of it. MVP gets a tag to Finley who squats on Rey for two. Tag to Kennedy. He slams Rey Rey down, backbreaker or two and then wrings him out on his knee.
Rey hits a knee to Kennedy’s temple and tries to crawl beneath him for the hot tag.. he’s caught though and dragged all the way across the ring to a tag to MVP. MVP hits a waistlock on Rey Rey while the crowd claps along, knowing the minute Rey gets that tag.. the match is over.
MVP picks him up and Rey ALMOST doesn’t make the out of nowhere DDT. Tag to Jeff and he clears house! THrown to the ropes, he hits the Whisper for two.. stopped by Kennedy. Kennedy then gets a drop toe hold to land on the second rope. Rey Rey dropkicks MVP onto the second rope. Double 619. SWANTON ON MVP!
WINNERS: THE GOOD GUYS
“Doesn’t Matt get to do anything?” – Dani
Vinnie is on his way!
First though, Break.The.Walls! Next week… right here.
“SWERVE. Its Gillberg.” – Insyder GothamAnswer
“I’d mark out. Honestly.” – Insyder DarkStar
COMMERCIAL FIVE – 9:55
Vinnie’s in the ring! He’s going to introduce…
“This podium!” – Hernandez
…the competitors. Shawn and Orton, come on down.
They talk. We’re not listening.
Actually, Shawn goes on an interesting tirade about how he doesn’t need the Superkick. He could beat him with a …. submission manuever?
“Way to tease Montreal, sir.” – Me
So this all ends with them going nose to nose, but Randy slips… HAAA haaaa.. So Shawn turns to kick Vince, and gets his knee clipped. Orton goes all stompy around Shawn, sizes up the fieldgoal kick, but is stopped by Vinnie.
“I think its awesome how Skinner gets a title shot after years of being away.” – Insyder Crippie
Instead, he hits the RKO. Natch.
COMMERCIAL SIX – 10:12
Here come the girls… Melina, Layla, and Jillian. Layla? Oh, right Smackdown.
Now, Mickie, Kelly Kelly, and Michelle
GIRLS vs. OTHER GIRLS
Breasts
“Hatton, I hope you aren’t left alone at the bar right now” – Insyder SarcasticWolf
No… just nobody’s talking. Thanks SW.
Melina starts with wrapping Michelle’s leg, she hits the ropes and a running backflip off the top turnbuckle to get out of it. Tag to Kelly who comes in, hits Melina, and eats a clothesline.
“Kelly was really happy she hit that.” – Dani
Tag to Jillian and they chain wrestle horribly. Tag to Mickie. Jillian gets a headscissors and lands on her head. Mickie charges and clears house of the bad girls. Jillian finally hits a back elbow on Mickie, but eats a neckbreaker that’s stopped by Layla.
“Apparently Mickie and Beth Phoenix are a two-woman wrecking crew, whose sole goal is to destroy every other, incapable woman grappler, until they are the two left standing” – Insyder SarcasticWolf
“Works for me.” – Insyder Mr_A_Knife
We then get a diva clusterfuck. Ending in Mickie kissing Layla and a gorgeous crescent.
The end.
WINNER: MICKIE & CO
COMMERCIAL SEVEN – 10:22
SURVIVOR SERIES Classic….. Rock vs. Foley!
A Snitsky Commercial!??!?
“Why do they keep trying!?!?!?!?!?” – Me
“It wasn’t his fault!” – Insyder SarcasticWolf
“My name is Snitsky, I enjoy poetry and butterflies” – Insyder Crippie
In the ring, thankfully…
Lawler & Santino!
“Can someone explain Santino’s haircut to me?” – Insyder Wiredcs
“A weed whacker opened a can of the ass whip.” – Insyder GothamAnswer
LAWLER vs. SANTINO
Wheeeeee…
Lock up to start. Santino gets tossed, and eats a back bodydrop. Lawler just punches the hell out of him. Finally Santino gets a back elbow that drops Jerry and the punches fly from Santino now. Snapmare and a chinlock.
A few more punches. Another snapmare. Lawler then sweeps the leg out from under Santino a couple times. Big fists. THrows Santino to the corner, charges in and eats a kick. There is an inside cradle from Lawler. The end.
WINNER: LAWLER
“Lawler must have realized the year was almost over and he hadn’t gone over a young heel with a lot of potential in a long time. His contract gives him 2 per year, plus a veteran.” – Insyder Mr_A_Knife
COMMERCIAL EIGHT – 10:32
We get the Regal / Hornswaggle Training Session!?!?!?
Because Hornswaggle vs. Khali at Survivor Series.
“You are wasting PPV time with THAT?!” – Dani
Out comes Coach as Khali. Pretty funny actually.
COMMERCIAL EIGHT – 10:47
SURVIVOR SERIES CLASSICS – 1994
(Doinks vs. Lawler & his midgets.)
Trips Lumberjacks are the Hardyz, Rey, and Kane?!?
“Rey’s wearing a Hardyz jersey. Does that mean he’s the new Lita?” – Insyder GothamAnswer
“Edge is going to steal him away soon” – Insyder Crippie
“Haha… Edge-Matt in a ladder match for custody of Rey” – MarkAllen
“Rey-Rey On A Pole” – Insyder GothamAnswer
“Book it!” – Insyder Crippie
Umaga now with Kennedy, Finley, Matt Stryker, and Big Daddy V
“It’s Team Bitch-Tits!” – Insyder Wiredcs
TRIPLE H! vs. UMAGA!
Lumberjaaaaack Time!
Umaga starts with punchy punchies to Trips. Headbutts from Umaga. Umaga tosses out Hunter and Trips just beats people down before coming in and punching the hell out of Umaga. Umaga charges and gets tossed to the outside with the heels. They help him back into the ring.. only to get a mass leap of Trips onto everyone.
Back in the ring, Umaga throws him to the ropes, then eats a kick and gets tossed out where the heel face clusterfuck continues.
Everyone outside.
COMMERCIAL NINE – 10:55
We’re back with Umaga beating Hunter on the ropes, and the heels choking the hell out of him on the outside when the ref’s back is turned. Evvvvilllll!!!
Body splash from Umaga! Snapkicks. Samoan drop. Nerve pinch. If you haven’t been able to tell. Lame.
Hunter throws Umaga corner to corner. Hits a snap DDT. Pin for two.
Trips hits the facebuster, goes for the Pedigree into a samoan drop. Umaga now set-up for the thumb poke. Hunter ducks out of it and Finley charges in for the DQ – Rey hits the top rope leap. Clusterfuccccccck annnndd Black!
The end.
Rabble thoughts?
“Blarrrrrrrrrrrrrr, but Survivor Series might be good.” – Eric
“Booh-ring” – Dani
“Hardy Boys make me smile.” – Amy
“Terrible show, can’t wait for Surivor Series.” – Hernandez
“That was some kiss.” – Jenna
“Typical show before a ppv… shitty.” – Jeffrey
“I haven’t watched wrestling in a decade. I was let down.” – Me
