And, to open up ECW, we have two of the ECW Elite, The Hardyz! Wait, what? Already I’m unenthused, not that I don’t enjoy seeing these guys in action.
Oh, and last night, the lumberjack match between ended in a schmoz. There’s a shocker.
And next out is MVP! Another full-time ECW superstar. I can see why people tune into this show; a constantly revolving cast. And MVP’s partner…
Match 1:
The Hardyz vs. MVP and Mr. Kennedy
First match on ECW? No ECW wrestlers. Whatever.
Jeff is green tonight, and the fans chant Hardy, which isn’t terribly specific.
Match is fun, for the most part, with good work from everyone involved. The Hardyz are lucky in that their time apart keeps them from getting stale, so they’re still fun to watch. Plus, MVP has improved so much I can hardly remember what he was like when he was terrible. The match even goes through a commercial break after MVP kicks Jeff to the floor, and he and Matt face off as it fades to black.
(Commercial)
Comes back to MVP with a version of a stump puller on Jeff, but then going into a pin, then more submissionism with a surfboard. Of course, the Hardyz make a big comeback, and Jeff almost hits the Swanton on Kennedy, which makes me REALLY want to see him bring the Kenton back. Match follows the typical heel/face formula, with Jeff playing face-in-peril, but it works, so it’s hardly wort complaining about. It’s really amazing to hear how much heel heat Kennedy gets. He just walks into the ring and people start booing, while teenage girls chant “Hardy” to rally their effeminate but high-flying warrior. However, end game comes viciously; during one of Jeff’s rallies, he ends up on the ring apron, and Kennedy just pulls his head back and smacks the back of his head to the floor. MVP pulls him back in, and it’s academic.
Winner: MVP and Kennedy via MVP pin
However, REALLY interesting post-match stuff as Kennedy tries to hit Matt with a chair, and MVP rescues him, saying, “That’s my partner!” He talks Kennedy into leaving, then drops the chair, saying to Matt, “I saved you, AGAIN. I’m sorry about that.” He then points to Jeff, then leaves. Huh…
Recap of stuff last week. CM Punk fought Jamie Noble on Smackdown? Awesome!
(Commercial)
Matt Striker is in the ring talking about Big Daddy V (who isn’t here), and how awesome he is, blah blah blah, but Kane comes down and gets all angry, chokeslamming the teacher. You know, as a teacher myself, I find nothing funny about this. Educators are not here to be destroyed, they are here to improve the world, even if it’s by managing obese chocolate monsters.
Next is Michelle McCool and Kelly Kelly, and I don’t give a ****!
(Commecial)
Melina and Layla vs. Michelle McCool and Kelly Kelly
You know, watching TNA and seeing their women’s matches, it’s crazy how TNA has already managed to surpass WWE in terms of the quality of women’s matches. The reason? Most of those girls are trained wrestlers, not models who are still trying to figure out how to bump. However, Michelle McCool and Melina try to carry the match, but McCool simply isn’t up for the task, even though she finishes Melina with a roundhouse kick. And that’s all the attention I’m giving this.
Winner: Michelle McCool and Kelly Kelly via McCool roundhouse kick
Next is Punk vs. Noble! Yay!
(Commercial)
The Miz is at ringside for commentary. Yippee-kay-yay.
CM Punk comes down.
Jamie Noble comes down.
Another crazy probably-Jericho promo saying “NEXT_MONDAY.”
John Morrisson comes out for no reason.
We got to commercial.
I yell bullshit.
(Commercial)
Upon a return, there is in-ring action, but I wonder what the point of having Noble here is, because all the announcers are talking about is the triple threat match; however, I have to say that the dialogue between Miz and Morrisson is freaking hysterical, as Morrisson points out how easy it’ll be to beat the Miz, while Miz says, “Who loses to a hat?” to which Morrisson retorts, “Did you get a free bowl of soup with that hat?” Meanwhile, Punk hits Noble with a vicious dropkick to the back of the head of a seated Noble. Frankly, Punka nd Noble look great in the ring together, which really isn’t a surprise, as both of these guys have ROH experience, and came up throught the Indies, where they spent time pounding on guys, as opposed to coming up through WWE developmental like Miz and Morrison. Don’t get me wrong, though; Morrison has improved tremendously, and I’ve really learned to love his matches with Punk, spotfesty though they may be.
Noble is working on the arm of Punk, and it’s good psychology, I suppose, but it’s not terribly exciting. However, after a few minutes of arm work, Punk powers out and backdrops Noble, but Noble takes over again and goes back into a variety of different arm locks. Meanwhile, Morrison and Miz continue to make me laugh as they discuss how Morrison didn’t lose to the Miz, but he DID lose to the hat.
Morrison: “Look at me; imagine if Jesus knew kung fu.”
CM Punk, after fighting out of a variety of hardcore arm submissions, is eventually able to catch Noble in the GTS, and that’s the end of it. Really good stuff, and they might as well move Noble to ECW, where he can continue having good matches with Punk. In fact, just move all the former ROH/Indytastic guys to ECW, so that the show has an actual flavor.
Winner: CM Punk via GTS
After the match, the heels run in, and Miz hits the Reality Check on Punk, and Morrison tries to top it with his rolling cutter. They smile at each other heelishly, and we’re off the air.
No final recap for this; this isn’t my show, after all.
Thank you Inside Pulse, goodnight!
