Buon martedi amici miei, and welcome to coverage of ECW on SciFi.
Since we’re on the road to Survivor Series this Sunday night, the big guns are in the house. The show opens with the 7-time tag team champions, the Hardy Boyz making their way to the ring.
Opening contest: Hardyz v. MVP and Mr. Kennedy. Leading into commercial break, Jeff Hardy finds himself on the floor outside. This is no surprise, since this is how WWE always goes to break. But they give us a nice reminder of the tension between the WWE Tag Team Champions as MVP goes around to attack Hardy and big brother Matt holds off his championship partner to protect his sibling.
Jeff plays Ricky Morton for a while as the heels punish him before he makes the tag to Matt. V1 has Kennedy at his mercy, but Jeff crashes and burns on a Swanton attempt, giving the heels the advantage again. Jeff gets cut off from his brother Matt again, as they do the extended tag team formula here. Kennedy viciously tosses Jeff from the ring apron to the floor, and the “Rainbow-Haired WarriorÃ¢â‚¬Â takes a rough bump, making him easy prey for MVP’s match-ending pin cover.
Ironically, MVP protected his full-time partner after the match by preventing Kennedy from walloping Matt with a chair. MVP then claimed his allegiance to Matt, but don’t you believe it. Matt and MVP never faced off during the match, which is smart booking.
After highlights of Jamie Noble versus CM Punk from SmackDown! last Friday, we go back to commercial.
After the break, we get the same Classic Survivor Series moment from 1987, and the clip ends with an unfortunate scene of two greats who have since passed away, Andre the Giant defeating Scott “Bam BamÃ¢â‚¬Â Bigelow to emerge the sole survivor. Was that really 20 years ago?
Matt Striker cuts a pro-Big Daddy V promo in the middle of the ring, claiming the big man will dominate all the members of Triple H’s team. Striker is interrupted by Kane. Your teacher attempts to talk his way out of Kane’s predictable attack, but you can guess how that turns out for Striker. Kane hits the big boot, the Sidewalk Slam, and the chokeslam on Mr. Striker, then hits the four-corner pyro flamethrowers. That was a waste of three minutes. Where are Jamal and Rosie when you need them? Oh yeah, I guess I know where Jamal is.
Second contest: Kelly Kelly and Michelle McCool v. Melina and Layla. This match is supposed to hype the 10-Diva elimination match at Survivor Series. I’m sure that’s the money match people will pay $40 to see. Melina screams. A lot. Layla and Melina fail to execute the simplest of tag team maneuvers: the TAG! Are you with me? They can’t manage to smack each other in the hand! Would you like to be upside-down in a suplex position with these two superior athletes controlling your neck and head? No, me neither.
Lots of noise, very little activity. McCool hits what could only laughingly be called a round kick to Melina for the win. I miss the Striker/Kane segment.
Main event: ECW Champion CM Punk v. Jamie Noble. Obviously this is a rematch from Friday night. The Miz joins Tazz and Styles on commentary. I wonder if he’ll get involved in this match
The Miz jaw-jacks with Punk before the match begins, claiming to be a “walker not a talkerÃ¢â‚¬Â Ã¢â‚¬â€œ tough trash talk there, Kid. Jericho’s viral campaign interrupts and claims something will happen next Monday. There’s a break_the_walls clue, and a 5 days, 23 hours, 20 minutes clue. Might they finally be delivering Y2K next week? Let’s hope so. This company needs a shot in the arm right now.
And now the Shaman of Sexy is out to join the fun, forcing us to break before the match gets going. Noble and Punk, both ROH alumni, match up nicely between the ropes. Miz and Morrison detract from the action with their idle threats of who’s going to take the belt from Punk this Sunday.
Punk hits a brutal dropkick to a seated Noble’s head. Ouch. Seriously Morrison and Miz, would you please shut the hell up? I think I saw that on a t-shirt once. Noble’s working over Punk’s arm, while the champ plays the plucky babyface who never says die. Punk hits the big knee-bulldog combo, but Noble reverses into a nice Fujiwara Armbar. Punk uses a nifty counter to escape. Punk hits a top rope rana, which I’ve never seen him execute, and takes it home with, what else, the GTS.
Shockingly, Miz and Morrison attack the victorious champ seconds after the bell rings. Imagine that. Punk must face both for his gold this Sunday.
And that’s that. At least the one-hour format allows ECW to keep moving. No segment gets too tedious, since there isn’t time. The main event was a good match, but the shrill bickering of Morrison and Miz on commentary was beyond annoying, and the booking-by-numbers beat down of the champ heading into the ppv could be seen coming from a mile away.
Overall, the show gets about a C- from me. Grazie, e buona notte.