CPO: Phase 2 – ???

As we discussed last week, now is the perfect time to sell your spec script for a popular comic book franchise.

But what’s that you say? You don’t have a spec script ready? You haven’t already written Spider-man 4?

You haven’t even written Darkhawk 1?

All right, I should have expected this thing.

Not even a Sleepwalker script?

All right, let’s look at your options here:

Franchise: Spider-man

What’s right: Spider-man is a good role model, who always makes the right decision in the end.

Troubles: The last movie was too goofy for action fans, too light for Raimi fans, too dark for tikes, too slow for teens, too improbable for critics, and too confounding for the rest of us.

Also: With each film Spider-man must fight a villain who has previously affected the life of Peter Parker. For those keeping count, that’s five super-villains. Six super-powered people in the movie spider-verse, and all are centered on Peter Parker. Each villain met Parker before they got their super-powers, save Flint Marko who was too busy killing uncles to save his sick daughter.

Script Suggestions: Either exploit the concept of Peter Parker: villain creator, or have the villain of the piece not give two shits about Peter Parker or Mary Jane. The former would require some Morlun-style supernatural elements. The latter could be done with a classic villain like, say, Kraven, who would be obsessed with Spider-man not Parker.
The latter is the better, and easier, option.

Franchise: X-men

What’s right: Mutants are a quick and easy way to jump into action without any boring or contrived origin stories. There are hundreds of the mutants from Marvel comics that can be called up to the big leagues, or screen, as it were.

Troubles: The last movie killed off and/or depowered most of the popular characters. Wolverine is getting a separate franchise. As is Magneto. The characters left from the original film have been treated as such an afterthought as to be portrayed by various actors throughout the trilogy.

Also: It’s too soon to reboot or unkill Cyclops, but you can always unkill Jean. It’s like one of her super-powers!

Script Suggestions: Feel free to write the script, just give me the “Story By” credit.

Franchise: Superman

What’s right: He’s Superman, the classic super-hero. He’s the super-hero all others aspire to be.

Troubles: The last film was a remake of Superman: The Movie and at the same time a sequel to Superman II. It adds some confusion as to what to call the film, let alone what to do next. Superman Returns also made Lois Lane Superman’s baby momma, and made Supes a deadbeat dad.

Also: Many comic fans, and action fans, were disappointed that Superman didn’t have anybody with whom he could have a fight. I.e. someone to punch.

Script Suggestions: Well, it’s not like there are many DC characters that could get into a punching match with Superman. Obviously, there is Doomsday, or Lobo, or Parasite, or Braniac, or Darkseid, or Bizarro, or Metallo, or the Eradicator. Wait a second. . . It’s almost as though the last few movies have focused on Superman fighting big rocks, Richard Pryor and the Nuclear Man, leaving untouched 70 years worth of comic book stories.
Huh.

Franchise: Fantastic Four

What’s right: The movies make enough money to justify sequels. The characterizations of The Thing and Human Torch are as they should be.

Troubles:Comic fans don’t respect the series. The tone tends to be fairly light. Sitcomish, if you will. This makes the storylines about the end of the Earth about as troubling as whether or not Fonzie will be able to juggle two dates at once. Mr. Doom (who never finished his degree, and is thus not a doctor) seems to be firmly in place as a re-occurring villain. Despite being about as menacing as Jerry Seinfeld.

Also: The film is over-shadowed by its superior, let’s say, pastiche The Incredibles.

Script Suggestions: A Fantastic Four movie is always going to be a little cheesy and somewhat sitcomish. That’s really how things have always been in the comics. Since we’re already a little silly and over-the-top, why not make the next film about the Inhumans?

That’s enough for now. Next week we will jump to Phase 3: Profit!