It’s a weird week here at PTP HQ. Danny’s off to school to learn to sell snake oil and Matt has gone MIA again. So this week you get the witty banter of the Frabbit and the Poseur. We’ve got the office to ourselves and we’re running wild! So if you will please…
Danny’s Note: I still had to approve of this, but I’m proud of Chucklebutt. What I want to know is…I sent him the template for this whole thing and still his name is sometimes a link, sometimes not. Sometimes in color, sometimes not. Oy! Enjoy everyone!
1.) Pac-Man on Probation
Paulie: Well, probation’s better than real jail, I guess. But I really don’t know that I’d wanna be snitching on a gunman that probably has friends. Especially when I’m as high profile as Jones. Now, though, will Goodell now say, “He’s got a conviction now! Let’s add another year!”
Charles Joseph : It doesn’t really sound like he’s going to snitch on the gunman, he says he doesn’t know who it was, and if he really doesn’t, that won’t change just on the plea bargain. My contempt for Mr. Goodell is fairly well documented, but adding another year would be even more horseshit. He’s been on good behavior for the last few months, he didn’t do anything to cause much of an uproar when he was with TNA, so why would they need to suspend him again. That being said, they will. But hey, Ricky is back now too.
Paulie:
I’m honestly surprised that Goodell let Ricky back. Maybe he’s softening. I doubt it. But just maybe. Given this revelation that he’s only getting charged with a misdemeanor and getting probation, I wonder why he held firm and didn’t let Pacman come back this season. Not that the Titans seem to want or need him much.
CJ:
I’m surprised Ricky got back to. Pac-Man should follow his journey though. He’s getting a year off anyhow, make us of it. Go to India and smoke hash all day. Come back in 6 months and everyone will be begging you to come back and play. Don’t bite though Pac, go play in Canada for a year, hurt yourself so you don’t actually have to be degraded that badly, but keep your profile up. Before you know it, you’ll be taking the spotlight away from the next NFL idiot. My vote is for Percy Harvin.
2.) NHL Hall of Fame
CJ:
The most slam dunk Hall of Fame class in the history of any sport. Messier is a multiple time Stanley Cup winner including a Namath esque guarantee, that he followed through with by scoring a Hat Trick, Stevens is considered one of the greatest defensemen ever, MacInnis is almost as famous in video game hockey as Bo Jackson is in video game football, MacInnis could play a little defense too, Francis was a consummate pro his entire career and rather quietly is in the top 5 all time in scoring, and Gregory was a great GM for the Leafs for 10 years in the 70’s.
Paulie:Hey! I actually know a couple of those guys! Messier’s that bald, Robocop looking guy. But I do have to say, if I never remember anything else about hockey, Messier holding the Cup over his head after the Rangers won will always be there. Francis was a damn fine player for the Hurriwhalers face of the franchise and they still love him in Raleigh. Can’t say I know MacInnis since I haven’t played video hockey since Blades of Steel. Looks like Stevens was one of the goons in Jersey that made them have to change the rules to let people actually score.
Gregory… wait, Chucky, you’re kidding, right. You mean to tell me there was a time when the Leafs were GOOD? Now you’re just pulling the hockey noob’s leg.
CJ:
It was right around Blades of Steel that MacInnis had his game. I believe it was on Sega Genesis, and there was one way to play, Pick the Blues, Give the puck to Al Mac on the blue line, Fire a slap shot. This had one of two out comes, a goal, or broken glass behind the goal. Stevens was on of the Devils that made them change the rules, but he wasn’t just a goon, he was a pretty good offensive threat for a few years too. But he is most known for he goonery. And possibly most noteworthy was the elbow/forearm shot to Eric Lindros’s head that changed his career forever.
You realize Messier one a few Stanley Cups before that time with the Rangers right? When he was on the wing with a center man named Gretzky, in Edmonton? This will be another shock for you paulie, Edmonton used to be good too. Very good. And as for your Toronto question…If we had Canadian readers…you’d be dead by now.
Paulie: Pft, like I’d be scared of a Canadian, what are they gonna do? Ch…what’s that? Oh, the bosses say it’s still too soon. And now you’re trying to tell me Gretzky didn’t ALWAYS play for LA? Yeah, right. The rumors of people actually living in Edmonton have yet to be proven true. They all eventually start claiming they’re from like… Atlanta or something.
But for truth, they seem to have some pretty fast turn around on this hockey HoF thing. I mean, Messier and Francis just retired like just before last season right? I would think hockey people would be more patient than that.
3.) PGA Drug Tests
Paulie:
Dude. Wait. What? Doping in golf? Golf is such a game of finesse and skill that I really doubt that juicing up to hit the ball an extra 10-20 yards will make that much of a difference. And so what if some dude on the Seniors tour needs to take a toke every now and then for his cataracts? I mean, really, has anyone ever looked at a golfer and been like, “That gentleman is just too darned good. He MUST be on some performance enhancing drug.” Of course, I wonder what John Daley is going to do if he can’t play drunk anymore.
Charles Joseph:
Steroids shouldn’t be banned in golf. They should be made mandatory, maybe then someone could beat Mr. Woods. And look at Woods over the years…tell me that’s natural, come on, he looks like Eddy Hoc. I don’t see the benefits of juicing in golf either. Golf is supposed to be about accuracy not length, who cares if you hit the ball 400 yards, if it ends up 3 holes to the left it’s not going to do you much good. Stop worrying about hitting the ball to the green from the tee, and worry about putting it in the fairway.
Paulie: You’ve been paying WAY too much attention to that commercial with Tiger in the shower, dude. And are you implying that the steroid problem is so bad in the NFL that even the REFS are doing them? And no, PGA players shouldn’t be put on mandatory roids, they should all be required to get Lasik surgery to get their vision down to 20/10 or something.
CJ:
It’s the age old question Paulie, Did Eddy Hoc pass the bar to become a lawyer or just flick it aside like a toothpick? Ta hell with 20/10 vision, they need to get computer chips implanted into their heads telling them the exact wind speed, slope, dryness and distance. Or bigger holes. Anything to get the scoring down. The way it is now, no one watches this carpe.
Speaking of DVD reviews, head over to The DVD Lounge where there are a lot of good people watching a lot of crap so you don’t have to. And for a person who has over 1300 DVDs and watches every movie imaginable, Travis really finds some things that even I have never heard of.
Popcorn Junkies is a place you really need to go check out as well because there are great people like Caroline, Ping, Michaelangelo, Kubryk, and more bringing you news and movie reviews at all hours of the night and day.
He’s BAAAAAAACKKK Still await word on whether or not he’s better than ever. Everyone’s favorite cynic has return with all the pomp and circumstance one would expect of the great Eric Szu…Eric Szucwhich….ERIC S. everyone. Big round of applause.
Paulie’s Power Poll He floats like a butterfly, he stings like a…9 volt battery?
Riding the PineAlways one of my favorite articles, and not just because Eugene actually answers my question unlike those jerks at ESPN, but because Eugene actually knows his stuff better than half the idiots there.
Well, that’s all folks. You may have noticed a higher amount of sarcasm this week, that’s what happens when Paulie and I are locked in a padded room for 19 hours at a time. Yell at ushere in the forums. or don’t…see if we care. Danny might be back next week, the dogs had picked up a scent earlier today so we’re cautiously optimistic about finding Matt so until then…
GO AWAY!
