Recap of Batista vs. Undertaker from Survivor Series.
Edge is in the office of Vickie Guerrero. Vickie is angry at Edge for ruining the great match, as well as Undertaker’s last chance for the title. Vickie punishes him by giving him a title match against Batista next week. Ouch, a main event match, you don’t wanna piss her off! Edge says that he’s the new number one contender, so the Undertaker has to take a back seat to him. Edge thanks Vickie for her help for what happened at Survivor Series, before the pair get all heterosexual all over my television set. Thank god I bought Will and Grace season 8 today. The crowd reaction to all this is pretty big, and rightfully so, but surely they could’ve done this all better? They couldn’t have had her help Edge win the belt and then have them go all HHH / Stephanie at Armageddon 99? Meh, what would I know?
Michaerl Cole is shocked – SHOCKED I TELLS YA – over what just happened. Tonight we’ve got The Cutting Edge between Edge and Batista, and Hornswoggle going up against Mark Henry.
John Bradshaw Layfield introduces us to Montel Vontavious Porter. JBL gets all excited over the pair being in the same ring, and he bestows upon Montel Vontavious Porter the first ever ‘United States Championship Ring’. JBL shows his footage of Porter destroying Matt Hardy last week. Porter thanks Layfield for his support. Layfield promises that Porter will be a World Champion, while Porter says he’s glad to not have to carry Hardy’s weight around anymore. Layfield presents Porter with a ring reading ‘U.S’, and Layfield puts the ring on Porter’s finger. That’s kinda gay. Porter puts himself over on the microphone before being interrupted by Rey Mysterio.
Mysterio steals the microphone from Porter. Mysterio calls Porter a rookie and then a punk. Mysterio then says that Porter is scarred of Matt Hardy, so Porter attacks him. Mysterio attacks Porter and Porter escapes the ring right before Mysterio can hit the 619.
The Miz and John Morrison are walking backstage!
Commercials.
The Miz and John Morrison vs. The Major Brothers
Brian and Morrison begin. Brian gets an arm lock on Morrison, but Brett is shortly tagged in. Morrison tackles Brett into the corner, and miz is tagged in. Morrison slams Brett down using the hair before Miz slingshots him throat first into the bottom rope. Morrison tagged in with a vaulting baseball slide to Brett. Nice. Morrison gets a two count over Brett. Brett with a leg lariat I believe, I yawned when he did it. Miz tagged in, and allows Brett to tag in Brian. Brian with a scoop slam and dropkick to Miz. Brian sends Morrison over the top rope and hits Miz with a nice power slam for a pinfall attempt. Brian misses a cross body, and Miz nails the knee and neck breaker combo for the victory.
Winners: Miz and John Morrison
Meh. Three out of Ten.
Finlay is backstage when Vince McMahon walks in. McMahon mentions Hornswoggle vs. Mark Henry for tonight, before trying to butter up Finlay. McMahon then says tonight’s match will be Mark Henry vs. Hornswoggle and Finlay.
Commercials.
Kane vs. Big Daddy V w/ Matt Striker
Two Big Daddy V matches in one night. This crowd sure were lucky. Kane takes it to V right away, but V gets the upper advantage and nails the jiggly splash in the corner. V with a weird ass take down on Kane, before laying down on top of Kane. Kane fights back on V only to run into a clothesline. V misses with a head butt and Kane hit’s a low dropkick for a two count. Kane with elbow drops and a leg drop for a two count. Kane goes up top, Striker rolls into the ring and is victim to the flying clothesline. Kane hits V with the steel chair and the pair flee while Kane remains in the ring.
Winner: Kane
One out of Ten. This was interesting, but not much else.
Rey Mysterio is walking around backstage.
Commercials.
Montel Vontavious Porter vs. Rey Mysterio
Lock up and Porter right away forces Mysterio in to the corner. Porter with a headlock takedown, Mysterio with a head scissors, and I just noticed that Porter’s boots are rather gay tonight. Mysterio with arm drags. Mysterio kicks away at Porter, Tajiri did them better. Mysterio with the swirly head scissors takedown. Mysterio with the springboard cross body for not even a one count. Roll up then gets Mysterio a two count. Mysterio with a weird sunset flip for not even a one count.
Commercials.
We’re back and Porter hits Mysterio with a flapjack, before a running boot to the head of Mysterio gets Porter a two count. Porter with a knee drop for a pair or two counts. Porter with shots in the corner, but Mysterio kicks Porter away. Porter runs into another boot by Mysterio, but Mysterio comes off the ropes into a clothesline. Porter covers for a two count. Porter with a full nelson to Mysterio. Mysterio runs into a boot by Porter, but Mysterio kicks out of the pinfall attempt.
Porter dominates over Mysterio, but Mysterio makes the obligatory temporary comeback and kicks out of a Porter pinfall attempt. Porter with an arm bar on Mysterio but Mysterio kicks Porter off. Mysterio counters a power slam attempt with a tornado DDT. Mysterio is up first, and takes the fight right to Porter. Mysterio with his own big boot to Porter (who was kneeling). Mysterio with a very nice flipping senton to Porter, before a kick right to the head of Porter for a two count. Porter with a tilt-a-whirl slam for a two count over Mysterio. Mysterio escapes the Playmaker and connects with the 619! Porter stops the West Coast Pop by sitting down (or just falls down, whichever). Mysterio with another 619, but Porter stops the West Coast Pop by hitting a power bomb! Porter covers, pulling the ropes, and gets the three count!
Winner: Montel Vontavious Porter
I could watch these two wrestle every week, I think they work very well together. Seven out of Ten. Imagine if Porter keeps improving.
Vickie Guerrero is all giddy in her office. Batista walks in, asking why Edge had a title match next week. Guerrero says it’s because he deserves the match, and because she loves him.
Cutting Edge is later tonight; with Edge interviewing Batista.
Commercials.
Jesse and Festus are backstage. Festus, apparently, has been into Thuganomics since day one. Jesse hypes up the John Cena DVD. The sight of Festus dressed in all Cena stuff is great; but the sight of Jesse helping him do the “You Can’t See me†schtick is classic.
McCool and Noble are backstage. McCool maintains that she and Palumbo are just friends, so Noble goes back to flirting with her. McCool slaps him.
Finlay and Hornswoggle are backstage! Hornswoggle thanks Finlay, but Finlay keeps walking on Awwww.
Up next: Finlay and Hornswoggle vs. Mark Henry!
Commercials.
Mark Henry vs. Finlay and Hormnswoggle
Hornsowggle attacks Henry, Finlay attacks Henry, and we continue like that for a while until Finlay gets a low dropkick to Henry. Henry misses a running splash in the corner, allowing Finlay to slingshot Hornswoggle head first into the groin of Henry. Henry goes for a military press on Hornswoggle, but Finlay kicks Henry down and Hornswoggle gets a two count over Henry. Stereo elbows by Finlay and Hornswoggle, followed by stereo stomps. Henry suddenly knocks Finlay down before chasing Hornswoggle to the outside. Hornswoggle gets the shillelagh, but Henry throws it away – only for Finlay to attack Henry with another shillelagh! Finlay throws Hornswoggle onto Henry for the three count.
Winners: Finlay and Hornswoggle
Well that was cute, and made the fans happy. -Three out of Ten. The Great Khali makes his way on out, and Henry attacks Finlay from behind! Khali with the Double Handed Choke Bomb to Finlay, and Hornswoggle stays out of harm’s way.
Commercials.
Chuck Palumbo w/ Michelle McCool vs. Jamie Noble
(JBL: You could beat Michelle McCool with an ugly stick, and she’d still be hot.) Noble tries to get the upper hand, but Palumbo gets all tough and all that stuff and begins dominating. Palumbo hits Noble with a delayed vertical suplex for a two count. Noble avoids a splash in the corner by Palumbo. Noble off the top rope with a knee to Palumbo. Very nice. Noble with a head scissors to Palumbo. Noble with forearms and elbows to Palumbo, but Palumbo shoves him into the ropes and knocks Noble down on his way back. Palumbo spine busters Noble into the corner, and then does it to the opposite corner. Palumbo with a big time clothesline. Noble jumps off the second turnbuckle only to get caught with a overhead belly to belly by Palumbo. Noble with a victory roll over Palumbo for the surprise three count!
Winner: Jamie Noble
So they have him be fodder for a leprechaun, but then he can beat the likes of Palumbo? Okay then. I’ll pretend to buy that. Match was good for what it was, and they worked their advantages (Palumbo’s strength and height, Noble’s cruiser weightness), but still nothing to write home about. Four out of Ten.
Torrie Wilson is walking backstage.
Commercials.
Torrie Wilson vs. Victoria
Lock up and Victoria forces Wilson into the corner. Victoria misses a clothesline and Wilson hits her with chops. Wilson tries to flip over Victoria, but Victoria catches her and nails the TKO sideslam. Victoria slams Wilson down before getting in a weak Camel Clutch. Victoria goes up to the second turnbuckle and misses a moonsault. Wilson kicks Victoria away and clotheslines her down. Wilson with a suplex to Victoria, following up with a low dropkick. Wilson goes up top and nails a cross body! Wilson gets a two count over Victoria. Victoria sets her up for a Widow’s Peak, but Wilson turns it into a neck breaker for the three count.
Winner: Torrie Wilson
Competent diva’s match. Three out of Ten.
Commercials.
We’re back, and Edge is making his return to SmackDown and I’m all happy about it. They’ve even let him keep the obnoxiously horrid pyro show. Edge brings out Vickie Guerrero, and the pair make an odd looking couple. Edge says it’s great to see him back, and great to be the new number one contender. Edge thanks Vickie Guerrero; the SmackDown General Manager and the loves of his life. Excuse me while I sob for a moment Edge says that he and Vickie had been planning this for four months, and the culmination of their plan is Edge defeating Batista next week for the Championship. Edge introduces Batista.
Batista gets all pissy and PMS at Edge and Vickie right away. Edge says it made him sick watching Batista running around with Edge’s belt – and Batista says that he doesn’t deserve the title match, but he does deserve an ass kicking. Batista shoves Edge down before storming on out. Edge and Vickie are left all alone in the ring until the bells gong and the lights black out! Undertaker goes to attack Edge, but Edge runs away – and Undertaker grabs Vickie by the throat! Edge tries to talk Undertaker out of it, and Undertaker eventually just decides to nail her with the Tombstone! Nice tense moment before Undertaker hits her with it, which is pretty surprising to see actually. Undertaker stands over Vickie as SmackDown fades out. I’d be shocked if the IWC doesn’t get all pissy over Vickie taking a bump.
The Inside Pulse
Miz and John Morrison defeat The Major Brothers: 3/10
Kane defeat Big Daddy V: 1/10
Montel Vontavious Porter defeat Rey Mysterio: 7/10
Finlay and Hornswoggle defeat Mark Henry: -3/10
Jamie Noble defeat Chuck Palumbo: 4/10
Torrie Wilson defeat Victoria: 3/10
SmackDown 23/11/05: 14/60
I have no problem with the Edge / Vickie storyline. What I do have a problem with, however, is that it was rushed. It seems like shock for the sake of shock. I maintain that I’d rather have seen this go all Armageddon 99, if for no other reason than a nod back to that PPV. Oh well.
As far as the rest of the show goes, it was alright. I’m interested to see where McCool / Noble is heading, if anywhere. I enjoy the Finlay / McMahon etc stuff, but I forget all about it once the segment is over. Porter and Mysterio should hopefully continue until Hardy comes back. Until next week, have a good week.
