By Paul Marshall
Welcome back Pulse Wrestling readers! I’m back with another dose of wrestling, just as prescribed. The Pulse was out of commission during the week, but never fear…I still have your MONDAY NIGHT RAW FIX!
We are reminded of the Second Coming of Jericho from last week’s episode, making Randy Orton crap his pants. The Ayatollah of Rock & Roll has returned to our television sets. Before we get going, I’m have a friend of mine that I known for ten years who is going to have a kidney transplant tomorrow in St. Louis. His nephew will be the donor. With Christmas around the corner, I feel that it deserves a little bit of attention. Hopefully things work out well for both men.
Cue our favorite Papa Roach song, add some explosive pyro, shake it up, and we get Monday Night RAW!
Live from Flair Country.
Starting off RAW for us is our main event, which was announced on last week’s program. This seems like backwards booking in my opinion, but it’s guaranteed to be an exciting match. Triple H is delighting the crowd, waiting on his partner – who gets a bigger ovation – Jeff Hardy. Last week, Snitsky made an unwelcome return to RAW to aid Umaga in a two on one beat down on Hardy. Umaga is the first one down the ramp, followed by Snitsky. Snitsky should be on death row for his looks alone.
Jeff Hardy & Triple H v. Umaga & Snitsky
Hardy and Snitsky start off our contest, with Snitsky owning Hardy in the opening minute. Triple H gets the tag and we get an even contest with the Greco-Roman lock. Snitsky gets an unclean break and eats the ring post for it. HHH works on the arm and tags in Snitsky. Snitsky has never been pinned on RAW before, so sayeth the King. Snitsky makes a huge mistake by throwing Hardy back inside the ring. He hits the baseball slide and goes for a plancha, but is CAUGHT! HHH saves Hardy by knocking everyone silly off the apron. The faces are back inside the ring as we head for an ad break.
Commercials.
Back to the contest and we see Hardy was taking it to Umaga, until he gets derailed with the swinging uranage. Snitsky gets a tag and he takes a limp Hardy up for a suplex. A close two count follows as he applies a double underhook submission hold. Hardy gets out of the hold, but runs into a shoulderblock. Umaga gets tagged in again and he nails a lot of agile kicks to Hardy. The man can move I tell you. Umaga works in a favorite spot from last week, the neck pinch. Thankfully, it doesn’t last long as he tags out to Snitsky. Pumphandle slam try takes too long, allowing Hardy to roll out of it. Hardy crawls closer to HHH, but Snitsky cuts him off in the past. Enzugiri connects and Hardy gets the tag to HHH!
HHH and Umaga are the legal man and HHH takes it to Umaga. Umaga misses a splash and he gets hanged up on the turnbuckle. After a one count, HHH nails the Knee Smash, followed by the SPINEBUSTER! Pedigree try is stopped as Snitsky misses the big boot! HHH goes to Pedigree Snitsky instead, but Umaga doesn’t miss with his kick. HHH and Snitsky fight on the outside as Hardy tags in. Hardy gets nailed with a KO European Uppercut! HHH and Snitsky take their fight into the crowd. Umaga gets Hardy into the corner and he goes for the REAR END COLLISION. HHH pulls Hardy out. WHISPER IN THE WIND, GET IT RIGHT J.R. FOR CHRIST SAKES! HHH nails the Pedigree, Hardy nails the Swanton…the result is the same.
Winners: Jeff Hardy & Triple H **1/2
William Regal interrupts the celebration. He wants to see Triple H in action at Armageddon. He also wants to see Jeff Hardy in action. He will be in the fight for his life as Triple H v. Jeff Hardy is booked for the Pay-Per-View!
A long stretch limo pulls up outside the arena and inside is Ric Flair! The King thinks he knows what the announcement may be…and he doesn’t want to hear that.
Commercials.
We are back and Flair Country is wooing like crazy! The MAN…Ric Flair comes out to the ring. WWE.com speculates that his announcement pertains to his career in wrestling. Ric thanks the crowd. He picked Charlotte to deliver his announcement because the town has been so good to him. He looks like he is going to be in tears a bit. He hasn’t been on RAW in the last six months because he knows and we know that his career cannot go on forever. He goes over his successes away from the ring. He says that sooner or later, there will be a time for him to retire. He announces to the world that he will never retire, that he will die in this ring. He goes psycho as the crowd loves it.
Out comes Mr. McMahon, who is in all smiles. He hands Ric his suit back and he loves the fact that he had him going. Crowd chants “You Suck†to Mr. McMahon. He wants Ric to go on forever, only if he keeps on winning. The first match he loses…his career will be over. Ouch. He doesn’t care how Ric wins any match, but any loss will end his career. He now says that his career is over. Mr. McMahon goes to leave, but Dr. Randall K. Orton, WWE Champion, is in the house. Mr. McMahon announces Randy to the booing crowd and he goes to address Ric. He thanks Ric for all the advice he has given him throughout his career. The Legend Killer begins to go soft, all of a sudden. He thanks him in advance for the honor of ending his career tonight! The mach is set for tonight.
Commercials.
Later tonight, Chris Jericho will be in the house! In the ring are eight people. It sounds like an eight man tag team match.
Hardcore Holly, Cody Rhodes, Super Crazy & Hacksaw Jim Duggan v. Lance Cade, Trever Murdoch, & The Highlanders
Super Crazy and Rory begin things off. Greco-Roman wrist lock starts things, as Super Crazy tags in Duggan. Duggan gets an arm drag, still holding onto the wrist. Rhodes gets involved and Cade gets a tag before things get ugly. Cade gets the upperhand on Rhodes in the corner. Rhodes tries to fight back, but a clubbing blow to the back stops that. Cade tags in Murdoch and Cody becomes the face-in-peril as Murdoch has a keylock applied. Rhodes shoves Murdoch into the ring post and Robbie gets the tag, as does Holly. Holly takes Robbie to the limit. Textbook dropkick gets two and all Hell breaks loose in FLAIR COUNTRY! Holly gets his trademark kick to the stomach on Robbie, followed by the Alabamaslam! The count is academic.
Winners: Hardcore Holly, Cody Rhodes, Super Crazy, & Hacksaw Jim Duggan *
Tommorow night on ECW: A night of the beauties and the beasts. We have Layla and Kelly Kelly for the beauties. Kane and Big Daddy V for the 100th time in an Extreme Rules Match.
Commercials.
We are back and Todd Grisham interviews Jeff Hardy. Hardy talks about how he and Triple H bonded like friends. Triple H interrupts and the friendship turns sour real quick. Triple H is an 11-time champion by turning on all his friends. We take a trip to LAST WEEK, as Shawn Michaels owns Mr. Kennedy in their brawl.
Mr. Kennedy gets his promo time. He introduces us to the Shawn Michaels story, available on DVD tomorrow. He chronicles his career as I’m currently fast forwarding through this. Mr. Kennedy says that he has surpassed Shawn Michaels. At the end, you can hear the “Clear†remark from the stagehand.
Chris Jericho will be on after the commercial break.
Commercials.
We’re back on RAW. Ric Flair meets up with his old Horseman buddies. This segues nicely to Chris Jericho’s entrance! He ditches the vest from last week and wears his Save Us T-Shirt!.
Sign of the Night: “The Orton era will never EVVVER be the same againnn.â€
Jericho has the mic as his music cuts out. The fans give him a warming welcome. He reminds us that he returned to RAW to save us from Randy Orton. He wants a title match. He hasn’t received an answer from Orton yet. Orton has an IQ of a kumquat. HAHA! “Me Want Title Match.†Jericho is awesome! He even brings visual aids to help Orton get the question. He will wait inside the ring all night long for an answer of any kind. He calls out Orton and he gets…
Santino Marella.
Yes…this has gotten funny. He calls him KYJ…HAHA! He makes fun of his “Lindsay Lohan†haircut. Jericho asks “Who the Hell are you?†He continues with the smartass comments. Santino says that Jericho hasn’t gotten an answer because he does not deserve a title match. He says that he can beat him up right now. Jericho wants a match with Santino right now. Santino wants to warm up a bit. He gives Jericho something to thin about…by beating the crap out of Jerry Lawler. He mocks Jericho some more. The match is next!
Commercials.
We are back and Santino is getting back inside the ring.
Santino Marella v. Chris Jericho
Jericho does cartwheels on Marella as the match begins. Marella gets physically owned in the opening minute. Stalling brainbuster connects and Marella is reeling. Jab to the throat gets returned with a thumb in the eye by Jericho. Jericho nails a springboard dropkick, sending Marella out to the floor. Santino plays chicken, but Jericho won’t have any of it. Inside the ring, mule kick shot to the kidneys! Jericho misses a dropkick, with Marella holding onto the ropes. Marella gets the advantage for a the time being, working on the back. A cover gets a one count. Marella gets a back suplex for another one count. Marella gets a Crossface variant on Jericho, but he fights out of it. Jericho gets a hard clothesline, followed by an armdrag. Atomic Drop connects and he gets the facebuster! Double Knee Attack connects and Marella is down for the count!
Winner: Chris Jericho **3/4
Jericho invites Lawler inside the ring to take out the trash. Jericho gets on commentary as Marella is being taken to town by Lawler. Million Dollar Knee lift connects! Fist Drop also connects and Marella is down. The finisher name is called the Codebreaker! He reminds Randy that he wants a title match.
Backstage, Ric laces up his boots. Shawn comes in and gives homage to Flair. He says that Randy has been on a roll as of late. He hypes up the Nature Boy. Worse case scenario, Ric goes out in a Blaze of Glory.
Commercials.
We get a recap of Ric Flair and his Career Redefining moment. The match between Flair and Orton will be later tonight. In the ring, Brian Kendrick is in the ring going solo tonight. He gets the loudmouth tonight.
Mr. Kennedy v. Brian Kendrick
They circle the ring, before tieing up. They jockey for position and Kennedy sends Kendrick down. Kendrick is too quick as Kennedy takes him down with a clothesline. Rope Guillotine connects as the referee warns Kennedy. A faceplant variant move ends the match, nearly as quick as it started.
Winner: Mr. Kennedy 1/2*
Kennedy has the microphone now. Kennedy says that it will be he and HBK at Armageddon. Armageddon is sounding like a show to order right now.
SmackDown Rebound: Edge and Vickie Guerrero schemed under everyone’s nose. She punishes him in a good way…and not in the bedroom. She gets Tombstoned by Undertaker later on in the Cutting Edge.
Commercials.
Mr. McMahon and Hornswoggle have a meeting in the office. He reminds everyone of his luck, until on SmackDown, as Khali beats down Finlay. He says to make it up to Finlay, that he books Khali v. Finlay for Armageddon. He sends Hornswoggle to get an ice cream sandwich. He gets on a two-way radio and signals the set up. Hornswoggle finds an empty box of ice cream sandwiches…and a room with a sign on it. Yeah…right. He opens the room and he finds himself face to face with Carlito. Hornswoggle takes out a can of spray paint and he sprays off camera. He tosses the can Carlito’s way and he shows us a black spot in the shape of a door. We go back to Looneyland…and Carlito’s expression says something like this…
Carlito: I need to go to TNA. WWE is getting too wacky. That…is not cool.
Carlito takes a bite of his apple, ticked that he has nothing to spit it at. He runs into the wall as Ron Simmons comes in for the obligatory “DAMN!†comment.
Carlito: I need a push…owwww.
RAW’s 15th Anniversary spectacular airs in two weeks!
Commercials.
We’re back as “The Glamazon†Beth Phoenix is in the ring. Her next challenger will be decided in the following match. Mickie James makes her way to the ring, followed by Melina and the paparazzi.
Mickie James v. Melina
Beth Phoenix is watching at ringside as Melina and Mickie get a Greco-Roman tie up in the middle of the ring. Melina scores some kicks to Mickie for a near fall. Mickie gets some offense in for a moment, missing a corner clothesline. Melina and Mickie get into it at the ropes, LAUNCHING Melina across the ring. Lou Thez Press connects and she gets a one fall. Melina gets a rollup for two before nailing a thrust. Mickie gets a hurrancurana, followed by a spike DDT for three!
Winner: Mickie James *
She blows a kiss to Beth Phoenix as it will be those two at Armageddon for the Women’s Title. Backstage, Ric Flair walks and he is given a hero’s salute as members of the RAW Roster give him his dues. Triple H hugs Ric, telling him to show him who he is. Ric Flair and Randy Orton GET IT ON…NEXT!
Commercials.
Friday Night on SmackDown: Edge challenges Batista for the World Heavyweight Championship!
Lillian Garcia announces the next match will determine if Ric Flair’s career continues. Randy Orton is the first man out. WOO! It’s showtime!
Randy Orton v. Ric Flair
Ric Flair must win this match for his career to continue.
The bell rings and they circle the ring. Greco-Roman lock and Flair nails his trademark chops! Back body drop connects and Flair is gunning it like this is his last match! More chops fly as Orton is reeling in the opening moments! Orton is tied up at the corner, before turning the tables on Flair. He nails fists of fury, sending down. Cover attempt gets two as Orton soaks in the crowds’ hatred. Flair is back up and he gets whipped across the ropes. Orton with a back body drop for a one count. Orton takes too long as Flair gets an inside cradle for two! Orton explodes with a power clothesline and he regains control. Stomp to the gut connects as Orton physically dissects Flair. Orton misses a knee drop and Flair gets a little momentum. Textbook Dropkick by Orton gets a two count. Orton stands Flair up and nails a standing dropkick for two. Chinlock is applied as the crowd is on Flair’s side.
Flair gets back up, chopping Orton. Orton rushes the ropes and he knocks Orton out of the ring. The fight goes outside and Orton nails a suplex ON THE PADDING! He rolls back inside the ring as the referee counts. Flair fights back inside the ring before the ten count. Orton gets a leg drop for two! He apples a headlock on Flair as his shoulders are fighting to stay off the mat. Back up to the vertical base and FLAIR GETS THE BACK SUPLEX! Both men get back up. RKO try is countered! Flair gets a chop block on Orton and Orton is reeling. Orton is back up, and back down. FIGURE FOUR LEG LOCK! Orton is fighting and cannot reach the ropes! Orton inches closer to the ropes and reaches it. Flair tries again, but Orton kicks him down and nails the RKO! Orton crawls for the cover and Flair gets his hands on the bottom ropes! Orton mounts the position and he beats into Flair. Flair is in huge trouble as Orton is close to being DQ’ed.
Both men are back up and Orton gets a neck vice as Jericho causes a distraction! LOW BLOW by Flair and he gets a handful of tights for the three count!
Winner: Ric Flair ***
Post match, Jericho helps Flair back to his feet. They celebrate outside the ring as Orton lies in pain. Jericho stares down Randy as this is really heating up.
Show over.
