Pulse Wrestling’s WWE Monday Night RAW Report For 12/03/2007

Pulse Wrestling’s WWE Monday Night RAW Report For 12/03/2007
By Paul Marshall

Welcome back to Reality. It’s that time again for another shocking episode of MONDAY NIGHT RAW!! I’m in the house tonight and we will be set for another great night! Let’s get started.

LAST WEEK: Chris Jericho demands a WWE Title Match in a way that a child could understand. He then prolongs Ric Flair’s WWE career by helping him defeat Randy Orton.

No opening video this week, as Chris Jericho opens up our show tonight! Is it the return of the Highlight Reel? We shall see. I don’t see the set up, so file this under a promo. It’s RAW IS JERICHO! His one goal upon returning was to get a WWE Title Match. He reminds us of Santino Marella from last week. He manipulated Randy Orton like a puppet.

Via WWE Mobile, Randy Orton accepts Chris Jericho’s challenge. He vows to be the new WWE Champion at Armageddon. Randy Orton comes out to dispute Jericho’s claims. Orton says that everything revolves around Chris Jericho. He’s giving Jericho an opportunity because he can beat him. Jericho says that his victories and Randy’s victories mean nothing. They stare down in the center of the ring. Randy says that he hates him and can beat the smirk off his face. They get close to coming to blows until William Regal interrupts. He has a better idea, Pick Your Poison. Randy picks Umaga as Jericho’s opponent. Jericho picks Shawn Michaels as his opponent. Jeff Hardy defends the Intercontinental Championship against Snitsky. The lovely Maria and the lovely Mickie James hook up in the back as a Divas Tag Team match is on the docket after the commercial break.

Commercials.

They aren’t Velvet Sky or Angelina Love…but they are two of WWE’s hottest divas in the ring right now. Maria and Mickie James are in the ring. Melina makes her presence known and her partner is the WWE Women’s Champion, Beth Phoenix.

Maria & Mickie James v. Melina & Beth Phoenix

Maria and Melina start our contest. Melina prevents a rollup, but Maria mounts the top of Melina in a lesbian way for two. Beth Phoenix tags in and she beckons Maria to tag out to Mickie James. Mickie James responds to a shove with several blows to Phoenix. Phoenix goes for the Fisherman’s Suplex, but Mickie counters. Mickie goes up top, but she is taken down. Phoenix nails a spinning powerslam and she pulls the hair. Fisherman’s Suplex connects and the pinfall is academic.

Winners: Beth Phoenix & Melina 1/2*

We go to Todd Grisham, who has Shawn Michaels with him. He cuts him off saying that it’s HBK & Orton one more time. He says that Sweet Chin Music is legal tonight, but Mr. Kennedy interrupts on the monitor. He says that upcoming will be a Blast from the Past. What is Mr. Kennedy getting at? We will find out after the ad break.

Commercials.

We’re back as Mr. Kennedy makes his way out to the ring. He has found three of Shawn’s closest friends and rivals and he has invited them to have a discussion. He calls out Shawn’s former tag team partner, Marty Jannety. Out of the chute is NOT Marty Jannety and he looks like he has borrowed Black Machismo’s attire. He now calls out another jabroni pretending to be Razor Ramon. He calls out Big Daddy Zero Diesel. This has to be a sad, sad day in Gimmick Infringement land. He then kills me by bringing out Brian Kendrick in Shawn Michaels attire. That’s not Brian Kendrick, but it is a resemblance. Big Daddy Zero says that Shawn is egotistical. Razor says that he is a chum. Marty speaks the traitor card. Mr. Kennedy calls him a loser.

The real Shawn Michaels shows up as Mr. Kennedy looks ticked off. Kennedy wisely rolls out of the ring and Shawn delivers Sweet Chin Music to all of the players except the fake Shawn. Kennedy and Michaels stare each other down as everyone is looking forward to their encounter.

Upcoming: Shawn Michaels v. Randy Orton; Chris Jericho v. Umaga

Commercials.

Next Week: RAW’s 15th Anniversary Spectacular!

Vince McMahon and Coach talk about next week. They have Hulk Hogan, Trish Stratus, Mick Foley, Eric Bischoff, and Steve Austin CONFIRMED for next week! Also next week, the entire McMahon Family will be in the ring for a family portrait. Finlay isn’t here tonight and Vince books a handicap match tonight. Hornswoggle v. Carlito & Coach. Hornswoggle steals the phone and he makes a phone call.

Back to the booth as we go back to LAST WEEK! Jeff Hardy and Triple H were partners last week, defeating Snitsky and Umaga. At Armageddon, it will be Hardy and Triple H one-on-one in a non-title match.

Triple H and William Regal are discussing the match at Armageddon. The motive to the match is that the winner becomes the #1 Contender to the WWE Championship at the Royal Rumble. Triple H says that he’d pedigree his mother, grandmother, and father-in-law to get a shot at the WWE Championship.

Upcoming: Jeff Hardy v. Snitsky for the WWE Intercontinental Championship.

Umaga is walking to the ring as we go to an ad break.

Commercials.

Last week: Santino Marella loses to Chris Jericho via the Codebreaker.

Umaga v. Chris Jericho

Another commercial break has to take place before the match. That sure was quick.

Commercials.

ECW is on Thursday this week! CM Punk has to pick his poison.

We’re JIP as Umaga and Jericho fight on the outside. Back inside, Jericho has on a reverse armbar, with Jericho beating Umaga with his forearm. Jericho gets lifted up by Umaga and gets tossed like a lawn dart on the outside! Jericho is back inside the ring and he eats a clothesline, followed by the splash for two! Umaga is on the offensive, beating Jericho down before applying the neck pinch. Jericho tries to fight out of it and he trips Umaga’s leg! Umaga gets back up and nails the superkick! Jericho is at the turnbuckle as Umaga drags him to the other corner. Jericho is in the position. REAR END COLLISION MISSES! Jericho climbs the turnbuckle and he nails a flying bulldog and both men are down! Both men are up at seven. Umaga misses his moves and Jericho hits the enzugiri, the bulldog, and THE LIONSAULT! He covers for TWO! Umaga is back up and he whips Jericho to the corner. The stinger splash misses, but the Codebreaker does not! Randy Orton runs interference.

Winner: Chris Jericho via DQ **

Randy Orton downs Jericho with the RKO! He leaves the ring as Jericho is lying on the mat. Hornswoggle walks, laughing… He has something planned, I can smell it. Be back in a few!

Commercials.

We are back as Carlito is coming out to the ring, seconded by Coach. Time for our No DQ Handicap match.

Coach & Carlito v. Hornswoggle

Hornswoggle isn’t underneath the ring tonight as Carlito and Coach are on their knees. Hownswoggle circles the ring and he whispers something in Lillian’s ear. He has hired protection for the match tonight! He has hired JBL and Ron Simmons, the APA, for the match.

Coach & Carlito v. Hornswoggle, JBL & Ron Simmons

The APA destroy Carlito and Coach, Hornswoggle punts Coach in the balls, JBL nails the Clothesline from Hell, and Hornswoggle nails the Tadpole Splash for the three count.

Winners: Hornswoggle, JBL & Ron Simmons 1/2*

In the ring, JBL and Ron Simmons are in the ring. The APA does not discriminate. Provided that you have the money, you can hire the APA. Ron tries to do his “Damn”, but JBL picks fun on J.R. and “The King”. Ron takes the mic from JBL and he says it.

Todd has Snitsky up for an interview. Snitsky targeted Jeff Hardy because he has what he wants. Inflicting pain gives him pleasure, and so will winning the Intercontinental Championship.

Commercials.

Intercontinental Championship Match: Jeff Hardy v. Snitsky

J.R. proves that he reads my column, saying that he does indeed know the Whisper in the Wind maneuver. Snitsky, on the other hand…he’s scary and a doctor’s nightmare. The bell sounds and he overpowers Hardy, who uses his speed to his advantage. Looking to miss Snitsky, Hardy gets caught and plows Hardy’s back to the corner turnbuckle. Snitsky powers Hardy in the corner. He elevates Hardy out of the corner and he has a double underhook submission locked in. Hardy tries to get out of it and he does, only to get sidewalk slammed to a two count. Snitsky continues to mount the pressure on the champion. He nails a vertical suplex, followed by a missed leg drop. Hardy tries to fight back, nailing some low dropkicks for a one count. WHISPER IN THE WIND CONNECTS for a two count! TWIST OF FATE try is countered! Big boot by Snitsky misses! The Swanton misses and Hardy gets the three count despite Snitsky kicking out a split second after.

Winner: Jeff Hardy **

Post match, Snitsky levels Snitsky with a Big Boot and he goes for a chair. Triple H comes out with a sledgehammer in hand. He hits the ring as Snitsky leaves. Snitsky stares down Snitsky as he leaves. Triple looks at Hardy…and he wields the sledgehammer. He extends the hand out and he picks him up and he talks smack to him face to face. He leaves the ring without incident.

We go back to earlier tonight, where we see Jericho beat Umaga via disqualification. Randy Orton struck first tonight.

Commercials.

We are back as we run down the card for Armageddon.

Undertaker v. Edge v. Batista – World Heavyweight Championship
Mr. Kennedy v. Shawn Michaels
Triple H v. Jeff Hardy – WWE Championship #1 Contender’s Match
Finlay v. The Great Khali
Randy Orton v. Chris Jericho – WWE Championship
Beth Phoenix v. Mickie James – Women’s Championship

Jillian Hall sucks at singing inside Vince’s office. Stephanie McMahon is on her way to the arena, says William Regal. Up next is the main event!

Commercials.

Next week, Mr. McMahon will announce the greatest superstar in RAW history!

It’s time for our main event! Sweet Chin Music is LEGAL and Randy Orton is in trouble!

Randy Orton v. Shawn Michaels

The match starts and Michaels nails a chop! He fakes Sweet Chin Music and that sends Orton out of the ring. Michaels chases Orton and Orton gets some offense in. Michaels gets sent to the ropes and he responds with a neckbreaker! Michaels has a side headlock on Orton. Orton tries to get out of it, but Michaels continues to hold onto the neck. Orton powers out successfully and he takes Michaels down. Orton stomps at the face and gets a one count. He tries to suplex Michaels, but he rolls over, but Orton tries to go for the RKO, but Michaels gets an Anklelock on Orton! He pulls Orton back into the center and he counters with a rollup for two! RKO is countered again to the Anklelock! Orton goes for the ropes and he gets it. Orton rolls out of the ring as we take a break.

Commercials.

We’re back as Michaels and Orton are beating each other to the punch. Michaels dispatches Orton outside the ring. Michaels looks for Sweet Chin Music and he HITS IT ON THE TIMEKEEPER! Orton narrowly misses as Orton catches Michaels with the rope-assisted Spike DDT! Orton goes for random body parts on Michaels. He gets a pin attempt for two! Michaels fights back up to the corner and they go at it again! Orton gets a bodyscissors/reverse chinlock combination. Michaels fights out of the bodyscissors and he gets out of the chinlock! They go back and forth and Michaels gets the upperhand. Michaels nails the flying forearm and the atomic drop! Backslide gets a two count and Michaels climbs the top! He nails the Diving Elbow and he looks for Sweet Chin Music! He instead leaps out of the ring and goes after Mr. Kennedy! The referee counts Michaels out.

Winner: Randy Orton via Countout ***

Michaels and Kennedy are beating the hell out of each other and Randy has the microphone. He declares himself the winner much to the crowd’s dismay. Chris Jericho TAKES IT TO THE CHAMPION! He goes for the Liontamer, but Orton wisely leaves the ring.

In the office, Stephanie meets up with her father. She wants to talk to him out of concern. He’s invited people that have a grudge on him. She doesn’t want this to happen next week. He loves confrontation and nothing will stop him from announcing the greatest RAW star of all time. If anyone has a problem with it, they can go STRAIGHT TO HELL!

Show Over.

The Inside Pulse
Match Recap

Beth Phoenix & Melina d. Mickie James & Maria *
Chris Jericho d. Umaga via DQ **
Hornswoggle & the APA d. Coach & Carlito 1/2*
Jeff Hardy d. Snitsky, retaining the Intercontinental Championship **
Randy Orton d. Shawn Michaels via countout ***

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