The SmarK 24/7 Rant for Prime Time Wrestling – The Debut

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The SmarK 24/7 Rant for Prime Time Wrestling – The Debut

We’re all the way back to January 1 1985 for this one, as the new-fangled Prime Time Wrestling replaced the former All-American Wrestling on the USA Network.

– Hosted by Jack Reynolds & Jesse Ventura. I don’t know who Jack Reynolds is, either.

“Dr. D” David Schultz v. Salvatore Bellomo. From MSG sometime in 1984, along with the rest of the program, so it’s basically an MSG show packaged as Prime Time Wrestling. Y’all know the story with Dr. D by now, I’m sure. Bellomo works a hammerlock to start and D makes the ropes and then takes Sal down with a headlock, but Sal reverses and D has to run away again. Finally he just slugs Bellomo to put him down, and then throws a pretty vicious kneelift and elbows him down. He chokes Sal out in the corner as it becomes rapidly apparent who the jobber is here, then slams him and comes off the middle rope with an elbow for two. Sal getting up just pisses Dr. D off, so he suplexes him to finish at 4:03. Really stiff work from Schultz here in a total squash.

Dick Murdoch v. Samoan #1 (Afa). The Wild Samoans had names in the 80s, didn’t they? Afa is the babyface here for some reason, which is weird because I’ve never seen them work as faces before. Joined in progress with Murdoch trying to ram Afa into the turnbuckles and getting some of the same for himself as a result. Afa goes to the arm, but Murdoch thumbs him in the eye and then rams his own head into the turnbuckles a few times to show he’s not afraid of it. And he promptly knocks himself silly and Afa headbutts him down to follow. Murdoch’s crazy selling here is great. He finally comes back with an elbow and dumps Afa, as we get an early glimpse of Hillbilly Jim sitting at ringside and playing a hick fan. Murdoch chokes Afa out with the cord outside and stomps him from the apron. Then he uses the tag rope in a neat spot and stomps him on the way back in. Afa no-sells all the offense when they get back in to make his comeback, and Murdoch tries hiding from him, with little success. Afa gets an atomic drop and we get more hilarious selling from Murdoch as a result, so Afa does it again and gets two. Headbutt gets two. Murdoch does the Curly Shuffle off that, and Afa gets another two. Murdoch tries to fight back and throws lame punches, just totally carrying the match with entertainment value alone, before taking a bump out of the ring and retrieving a bottle from under the ring. The ref looks away for a second, so Murdoch puts Afa out with it and throws elbows on the apron for good measure. Back in, the big elbow gets two, so Murdoch stomps him down again and gets two. They collide and Murdoch gets the worst of the head-on collision, so Afa headbutts him down again for two. Murdoch checks his teeth in ANOTHER hilarious spot, then tries a slam and Afa falls on him for two. Afa rams his head into the mat and even that elicits a crazy sell from Murdoch, but time expires at 13:10 aired, 20:00 total according to the ring announcement. Afa could have been any schmoe off the street here and Murdoch would have made him look like a monster with his overblown selling. ***

Mad Dog Vachon v. Rick McGraw. The Bret Hart book makes the death of McGraw all the sadder because Bret basically chronicles his problems from start to finish. Vachon headlocks him on the mat and they trade stuff out of that before Mad Dog goes to the biting and back rakes to take over. McGraw fires back with a snapmare for two. Vachon goes back to the choking, but McGraw dropkicks him and gets some choking of his own. Vachon tries a charge but hits the post, and McGraw gets two. Dropkick gets two. Another one misses, and Vachon gets the running choke for two. Piledriver finishes at 7:19. Nothing special here. *1/2

David Sammartino v. Moondog Spot. Joined in progress with David using his awesome array of armbars. His pre-match interview with Gorilla Monsoon is epic in its dullness and stupidity. I don’t think anyone is terribly puzzled as to why he didn’t become any kind of star. David ducks a clothesline and slugs Spot down, but gets put down with a pair of mule kicks. Spot whips David into the corner and gets a slam for two, then kneelifts him into the corner. Spot slugs away, but David no-sells it like Bruno and gets a sunset flip for two. Spot goes to the middle rope and gets a forearm to put David down again, and we hit the chinlock. David fights back all Italian and plucky, but Spot throws down with him before inevitably losing the slugfest. David gets a kneedrop for two and a suplex for two. Spot catches him with his head down and gets a kneelift for two, but David does a nice slam reversal into a small package for the pin at 8:19. David brings nothing to the table, but Spot made it watchable by sheer force of willpower. **

Intercontinental title: Greg Valentine v. Tito Santana. Tito goes nuts on Valentine to start and beats on him on the mat, then rings his ears and goes to the corner with him, where they slug it out in a hot sequence until a Santana forearm puts Greg on the floor. Back in, they slug it out on the mat and Tito is just a madman. Greg finally kicks him low and gets an atomic drop to slow him up, then clubs him to the apron and chokes away until Tito falls out. Captain Lou gets his cheap shot out there, but Tito drags Valentine out and they throw down on the floor until Valentine gets a chair. That misses, so Tito brings it into the ring and clobbers him, surprisingly not drawing a DQ. Greg is bleeding, and Tito is all over that, but he shoves the ref and draws that DQ we were waiting for at 5:56. Short but SUPER hot. **1/2

Adrian Adonis v. Samoan #2 (Sika). Adonis gets dumped to start, and back in Sika works on the arm, then gets a slam and goes back to it again. Adonis finally escapes with a clothesline and drops a knee, then goes up, only to get brought down by Sika. Adonis pulls out brass knuckles and hits both Sika and the ref to draw a DQ at 6:33. Total clash of styles here. 1/2*

Brutus Beefcake v. Tony Garea. Garea evades Beefcake’s attack to start and takes him down with a headlock, and works on that. Beefcake counters with the headscissors and pounds away, but Garea chases him around the ring and gets a rollup for two. Beefcake catches him with the high knee and finishes at 6:27. Beefcake was pretty seriously terrible at that point. 1/4*

WWF World title: Hulk Hogan v. Big John Studd. White tights for Hulk here. The DQ and countout rules are waived here. Hulk slugs Studd down right away and he bails, but Hogan chases and Studd rams him into the post. Back in, Studd hits the chinlock, and then goes to the middle rope with a CLUBBING FOREARM OF DEATH which sets up another chinlock. Bobby Heenan flashing signals at ringside is exactly the kind of silly touch that he often did. Studd clotheslines Hulk on the top rope and drops the elbow, then slams him on the concrete when Hulk rolls out. This of course adds another bit of drama, because if Hulk is counted out, he loses the belt. Back in, Studd gets a shoulderblock for two. Hulk Up, Axe Bomber, and elbowdrop get two. Lariat finishes at 6:29. Short and not particularly offensive, but that’s about it. *1/2

This was totally different than what Prime Time became, and the dynamic of Gorilla and Bobby’s comedy act saved the show even on bad weeks a lot of the time. Still, a few decent matches in this first effort, so it’s basically an average MSG show if you want to check it out.