The SmarK 24/7 Rant for World Championship Wrestling – February 8 1986
– Gah, after that Black Saturday crap let’s cleanse our palettes with the real deal on TBS, shall we? Sadly, the bastards at 24/7 have skipped over Superstars on the Superstation, a show I was desperately hoping to finally see. That’s the one biggest negative about the channel (one of the few ones): Things are programmed to fit themes rather than following the natural flow of the TV programs featured. If I’m watching weeks of build to a PPV on RAW, I want to see that PPV.
– Hey, a new spacey opening this week. Looks like the Crocketts got a new Amiga computer for Christmas!
– Hosted by Tony, as he informs us that the Midnight Express have in fact won the belts from the Rock N Roll Express and I anxiously await the interview from Jim Cornette.
– Jimmy Valiant v. David Dellinger. What kind of a jobber gets a ring robe? Jimmy eyepokes him down and follows with a backdrop, then chokes him out on the ropes. Elbow and elbow finish at 2:49.
– Paul Jones warns Ron Bass that talk is cheap and actions speak louder than words, but he neglects to mention that the pen is mightier than the sword and a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush. The gist is that Barbarian is the strongest man in wrestling, and Ron Bass takes issue with that.
– The Road Warriors v. Brodie Chase and Kent Glover. The Warriors storm in and destroy the jobbers with shoulderblocks, and take turns dropping elbows on Glover. Hawk with a gutwrench suplex, but he picks the poor guy up and tosses him across the ring for the tag. He immediately pounds Chase down and hits a big boot, setting up Animal’s powerslam. Hawk gets a kneelift and chokes out Chase as a message to the Russians, then drops the leg. Double elbow and Animal drops him with a gorilla press, and Hawk finishes with a flying clothesline at 2:52. That was pretty much legalized murder.
– The Warriors follow that up with an interview where Animal points at the camera and yells a lot. No memorable one-liners from Hawk here, sadly. The interview seems to hint at a cage match against the Russians.
– Ron Garvin v. The Golden Terror. For a second there I thought it said “The Golden Terrier”, which would be much less intimidating. Garvin takes the Terror into the corner with a facelock and hiptosses him out, then headbutts him for two. He takes Mr. Terror down with a headlock and tortures him for a bit with some submission wrestling, but they’re too close to the ropes. Crucifix gets two and he controls on the mat again. He keeps tying the jobber up and then trades chops with him, but pokes him in the eye and then finishes with the Hands of Stone, but picks him up, dusts him off, and then punches him out again at 4:19. Ha!
– Garvin lets us know that he’s proud to be an American (although he’s not actually one) and it’s not over with Ric Flair. You wouldn’t think that was the case, but he’d surprise us all.
– Ron Bass v. Larry Clarke. Bass overpowers the jobber to show how strong he is, and then powers out of a top wristlock because he’s STRONG. He hiptosses Clarke off the middle rope and slams him, then works a headlock. Clarke fight-s back, but Bass is just too strong and slugs him down again, followed by an atomic drop. Iron Claw finishes at 4:14.
– The Barbarian v. Tony Zane. Barbarian powers Zane into the corner and then powers out of a top wristlock, because he is also STRONG. Zane tries a headlock, but Barbarian powerslams him and follows with a gorilla press and elbowdrop. Shoulderbreaker and big boot, and he tosses Zane for the cheapshot by Paul Jones. Back in, powerslam and flying headbutt finish at 4:23.
– An excited Jim Cornette (moreso than usual) introduces the NEW tag team champions — the Midnight Express. What a beautiful sight. The phrase “gracious winner” does not apply to Jim, as he says “I told you so” and rubs it in the face of everyone else.
– The Midnight Express v. Mike Simani & Don Turner. Dennis pounds on Simani and runs him into Bobby’s knee, and Bobby comes in with a back elbow. Delayed suplex and Dennis tags in during the move, then brings Turner in and drops knees on his neck. They toss him and pound him outside, and back in for Bobby’s flying elbow. Dennis slams him while Cornette poses with the belts. See, now this is why people used to care about titles, because they made a big deal about them. Bobby goes up again and kills Turner dead with the Alabama Jam, and the Double Goozle finishes at 3:56. Glorious.
– The Russians and the BARON~! The Road Warriors shouldn’t mess with the Axis of Power, and Magnum is due to lose the US title to Nikita, and that is all the people need to know.
– Ivan Koloff v. Randy Mulkey. Koloff pounds him down and reverses a bodypress into a backbreaker, then dumps Mulkey and slams him on the floor. Back in, Ivan chokes him out with the Russian Hammer and then drops a leg for two. Mulkey tries to fight back, but Koloff gets another backbreaker and drops a knee and an elbow. That gets two. Ivan puts a claw on Mulkey’s stomach and double-stomps him, then tosses him again and back in for the Sickle at 4:27.
– Tully Blanchard and JJ Dillon talk some trash about Jimmy Valiant. JJ reveals that Tully’s fists are named “Mars” and “Venus”, a threat so inane that it made it into the new Wrestlecrap book.
– Paul Jones is doing an interview on behalf of the Baron, but Ron Bass comes out and calls him on his rhetoric, so Jones agrees to name the terms next week.
– Baron Von Rashke v. George South. Baron quickly gets a shoulderbreaker and drops an elbow for two. He stomps South down and gets a backbreaker, and he takes him down with a small package but doesn’t go for the pin. He elbows South down and stomps away on the ropes, then backdrops him and goosesteps into the Iron Claw at 5:09.
– Tully and JJ are back with tape from Superstars on the Superstation, as Tully piledrives Dusty and steals the National title.
– Arn Anderson v. Bill Mulkey. Arn offers Mulkey a chance to leave gracefully, but he declines. His loss. Arn gives him a couple of clean breaks, but Bill gives him a cheap shot on a third one. Oh, not smart, Bill. Arn is philosophical about it, but then beats him down. Bill responds with a hiptoss, but Arn kicks him out of the ring and suplexes him back in, then pounds him in the corner and gives him the bootlaces. Hammerlock slam and he goes to work on the arm, into a powerslam, and the gourdbuster finishes at 5:19. Lesson here: Don’t get cute with Arn.
– Arn follows up by noting that he could have beaten Mulkey just by sending him a letter, an all-time classic line to be sure. He then mentions the name “Four Horsemen” for the first time on this show I can remember in reference to the best teams in the business. I should note that the National tag team titles have quietly disappeared now.
– Nikita Koloff v. Bill Tabb. Nikita beats on Tabb and slams him to start, then necksnaps him on the ropes and chokes him down. Back elbow and he picks Tabb up and hammers him down again. Sickle finishes at 2:22. Odd that we’ve had two cases of duplicate finishes this week.
– The mopey grumpy-gus RNR Express are out to swear their revenge. We get the video of the title change, as Ricky gets Cornette’s belt and is about to “whip him, whip him like a dog” in the words of David Crockett, but the tennis racket to the head gives the belts to the Midnights, where they belong.
– The Rock N Roll Express v. Paul Garner & Lee Peck. The Express are kinda pissed and they take it out on Garner, double-teaming him and being a lot meaner than usual. Double dropkick is all at 1:39. Ricky must have been behind in alimony again. Jim Cornette and the Midnights come out to laugh at their beltless waists after the match, and we gotta go!
