The SmackDown Report

We open with a recap of last week’s Beat the Clock Challenge, including fancy new videos for the wrestlers (like their prison shoot and their ‘in front of all the lights’ shoot for … forget it). A thought occurred to me during the week – it would’ve been nice to see Guerrero against Kane in a rematch of their Beat the Clock Challenge match from last year, or at least one rematch. Then again, it’d be nice to have a lot of things – a life for starters. The surprisingly long opening video then cuts to Vickie and Theodore in the ring. Vickie welcomes Rey Mysterio. For those keeping score at home: Vickie has some red in her hair.

Vickie congratulates Rey. Rey says that the two have been through a lot but he still cares about Vickie and her family, but he wants to know what’s up with Edge. After some conversation, we get the obligatory Eddie mention. Vickie gets annoyed and says in her defence that she’s in her thirties, and Edge would be a great father figure. Rey says that Edge doesn’t love Vickie, which is cue for the man himself. Edge isn’t happy either, and tells Rey to deal. Edge says that after Rumble, he’ll still have the title and the love of Vickie. Rey says he won’t have the championship … cue Chavo Guerrero. Chavo tells Rey to mind his own business, and that he’ll never be a Guerrero. What Chavo wants to know is how Vickie can call herself a Guerrero, especially when every other family member is disgusted by her actions. Edge tells Rey and Chavo to back off, and Vickie flaunts her power before booking Rey vs. Chavo for tonight. Michael Cole puts on the soft voice to show how serious the situation is as we head to a commercial break … Rey vs. Chavo. Just how many times have we seen this match? Oh well, at least they’re good matches.

Commercials.

Chuck Palumbo w/ Michelle McCool vs. Jamie Noble
Palumbo forces Noble into the corner but misses a clothesline. Noble with kicks and clubs but Palumbo gains control of the match. Scoop slam by Palumbo, but Palumbo misses an elbow drop. Noble with a running knee to the head of Palumbo. Palumbo with mounted punches, before picking Noble up with a short arm clothesline for a two count. Palumbo pulls at the face of Noble. Palumbo with a nice samoan drop for a two count. Palumbo slams Noble into the corner. Noble falls down behind after a Palumbo scoop slam attempt, and Noble gets some offence in. Noble gets to the top rope and gets a nice flying clothesline for a two count. Noble ducks a clothesline and gets a crucifix pin on Palumbo for the three count!
Winner: Jamie Noble

Good match. Post match, Palumbo goes to attack Noble but Noble escapes. Palumbo gives Mc a death stare, she plays stupid, and Palumbo backs her into a corner … oh uh … Mc flexes her bad acting muscles, the crowd starts a “Such a Loser” chant (ha!), Noble watches on from the entrance way … Mc slips out of the ring when Palumbo is distracted by Noble … That was cool, and as tense as you‘d expect from these guys. Five out of Ten.

Edge and Vickie are in their romantic office. Vickie says she’s so lucky to have Edge and Edge tells her to not worry about what everyone else says.

Batista is walking!

Commercials.

Still to come: Undertaker vs. Mark Henry and Matt Striker, Rey Mysterio vs. Chavo Guerrero.

Ric Flair vs. MVP is announced for Rumble – I’d have preferred it if Ric Flair’s career threatening match was the actual Rumble itself. Anyways. Pre-match, MVP runs down his career accomplishments and a totally forgettable promo follows, which Batista cuts off.

Montel Vontavious Porter vs. Batista
The pair take their time to really get going, but Porter gets in the occasional punch before getting a headlock takedown on Batista. Porter comes off the ropes, Batista jumps over him (didn’t expect that from him) and Porter comes off the ropes into a shoulder block. Batista with a headlock to Porter, Porter shoves Batista off and into the ropes. Batista with spears to Porter in the corner, but Porter gets a knee up. Porter goes right to the leg of Batista before he gets the running boot, sending Batista out of the ring.

Commercials.

We’re back and Porter nails a second rope Final Cut for a two count over Batista. Porter with mounted punches followed by a cover (nice touch) for a failed pinfall attempt. Batista gets right to Batista but Porter gets a drop toe hold to Batista and then nails another running boot to Batista for a two count. Porter locks in a full nelson variation. Porter nails a nice face buster for a two count. Batista tries to escape a facelock by picking Porter up and nailing a power slam, but Porter keeps it locked! Batista turns it into a drag and escapes the facelock – Batista goes for a spear to Porter, but it also hurts him after Porter has been working it over. Batista dominates and gets the sideslam for a two count over Porter.

Porter off the ropes with a shot to the neck. Porter runs back into the ropes but comes back into a spine buster by Batista! Batista goes for the Batista Bomb but Porter escapes it and rolls outside. Batista puts his head outside and Porter cheap shots and nails a big boot, which drops Batista outside! Batista with a shoulder body toss to Porter. Batista goes for a clothesline but collides with the steel post. Both men remain on the outside but Batista gets into the ring first and wins via count out!
Winner: Batista

Porter goes for a chair shot afterwards, but Batista nails a spear! The referee stops Batista from further attack. This match is just an example of how far these two have come in the past year and a half. If he plays his cards right, this could be Porter’s year. Seven out of Ten.

Still to come: Hornswoggle vs. Ranjin Singh in an Arm Wrestling Match. THAT is how you get ratings! Also, Undertaker vs. Mark Henry and Matt Striker.

Commercials.

Mark Henry and Matt Striker vs. The Undertaker
Striker gets out of the ring quickly. Taker goes right to the arm of Henry and sends him, arm first, into the turnbuckles. Taker goes for the Old School but Striker provides enough distraction to let Henry turn it into a super arm drag. Taker sits up and scares off Striker and continues the attack on Henry. Taker goes for a Chokeslam on Henry but Striker stops it. Taker with running clotheslines to both Striker and Henry. Snake eyes boot combo to Striker, and Taker then hits Henry with the Old School. Taker throws Henry outside and hits Striker with a Tombstone for the three count.
Winner: Undertaker

Way to squash them and all. -Three out of Ten. Big Daddy V makes his way down and that results in Taker having to fight off both V and Henry. Taker clotheslines V to the outside and then Chokeslams Henry … Way to put them over as super threats and all. As if the match weren’t bad enough, Taker had almost no problems in fighting off V and Henry. Stupidity.

Hornswoggle is backstage with Vince McMahon. McMahon is proud of Hornswoggle’s involvement in the Royal Rumble. Finlay turns out to be with them as well, but Finlay mentions a deal between he and Vince. Vince tells Finlay to never make reference to their deal, but Finlay talks him down. Finlay isn’t happy about Hornswoggle being in the Rumble, and Vince adds Finlay into the Rumble so he can protect Hornswoggle. Man, those two had so better have a match at WrestleMania (though, I’m also predicting Mick Foley / Cactus Jack vs. Umaga for WrestleMania. I could always hope, just like I usually do).

Commercials.

Do I really need to cover the arm wrestling contest? I can barely watch it without feeling the last of my brain cells disappear. Long story short, Finlay has a contraption which electrocutes Singh’s arm rest which lets Hornswoggle win. Khali attacks Finlay afterwards and then goes after Hornswoggle, but Finlay fights Khali off with a chair. Whatever. In the only good bit, Hornswoggle celebrates on the arm rest and Finlay electrocutes him for a moment.

Commercials.

Kane vs. Domino w/ Deuce and Cherry
Nice to see Kane is in the Rumble – that’s a good fixture to have I suppose. I hope when Kane’s long retired, he makes a surprise appearance in one Rumble down the line. Domino shoves Kane, so Kane knocks Domino down. Kane with offence in the corner. Kane with a pair of running clotheslines followed by the dramatic sideslam. Kane goes up top and connects with the flying clothesline. Kane knocks Deuce off the apron and that allows for Domino to get a pair of knees to the face of Kane. Domino off the top rope but Kane catches him with a Chokeslam for the three count.
Winner: Kane

-Three out of ten. Gee, I wonder who they’re keeping strong headed into the Royal Rumble?

Video for Eve Torres – last year’s Diva Search winner. She’s coming to SmackDown. Put her in Moore and Yang’s corner, I say. Not like it could hurt or anything, right?

Commercials. I really do hate the Royal Rumble, outside of that announcer dude making a cameo.

Cole and Coach run down the Royal Rumble card. Should be good but the contestants in the Rumble so far aren’t exactly inspiring.

Michael Cole recaps the Mysterio / Guerrero I Quit Matches.

Mysterio and Guerrero are walking!

Commercials.

Rey Mysterio vs. Chavo Guerrero
Edge is at ringside to commentate, not that I’m complaining. Lock up and the referee breaks it after they get to the ropes. Guerrero with a takedown to Mysterio. Mysterio with a head scissors takedown. Snapmare by Mysterio followed by a nice flipping senton for a one count. Guerrero with uppercuts to Mysterio and nailing a flipping senton of his own. Guerrero puts Mysterio on the apron but Mysterio kicks Guerrero in the head. Mysterio goes for a springboard but Guerrero puts Mysterio on his shoulders and drops him face first on the steel steps.

Commercials.

We’re back and Guerrero is working the arm of Mysterio. Mysterio fights Guerrero off briefly but Guerrero nails an arm breaker for a two count. Guerrero with a back drop, with Mysterio’s arm hooked underneath. Guerrero returns to the arm of Mysterio. Mysterio fights off Guerrero and goes for a springboard head scissors, but Mysterio screws it up. Mysterio with a head scissors which connects this time. Guerrero charges at Mysterio but Mysterio evades the attack and Guerrero flies outside. Mysterio goes up to the top rope and jumps off to the outside, nailing Guerrero with a Dropping the Dime. Not as impressive as the Whisper in the Wind from RAW, however. Back in the ring, Mysterio charges at Guerrero but Guerrero hits him with an alley oop for a two count. Guerrero goes for the Three Amigos but Mysterio stops them and hits Guerrero with the 619! Mysterio goes up top and gets a diving splash for the three count.
Winner: Rey Mysterio

Edge attacks Rey post match, but Rey fights him off. Rey goes for the 619 but Ryder and Hawkins attack Mysterio from behind. Ryder and Hawkins hold Mysterio while Edge assaults him. Enjoyable and good match with some good spots, but not onto par with some of their other matches. Seven out of Ten.

The Inside Pulse
Jamie Noble defeats Chuck Palumbo: 5/10
Batista defeats Montel Vontavious Porter: 7/10
Undertaker defeats Mark Henry and Matt Striker: -3/10
Kane defeats Domino: -3/10
Rey Mysterio defeats Chavo Guerrero: 7/10
SmackDown 11/01/08: 14/50

Two very good television matches and another good match in Palumbo / Noble. The squashes were thankfully short and the Arm Wrestling Contest didn’t run too long, but was still shit for the most part. Wasn’t much else to this week’s episode, really. Until next week, have a good one!

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