I have to say that the new set looks great, in particularly the wrestler specific graphics. I love Shawn Michaels, Beth Phoenix, Mickie James and Umaga’s in particular. But the amount of makeup everyone was wearing on RAW was just plain tragic. The new SmackDown title card looks great as well. Nice to finally see SmackDown without that stupid fist.
Rey Mysterio vs. Zack Ryder and Curt Hawkins
Mysterio’s entrance also looks great, but I’m surprised they didn’t have a specific part of the set designed for his entrance. Hawkins and Mysterio start. Mysterio dropkicks the knee of Hawkins, leg drop gets Mysterio a pinfall attempt. Ryder in, he sends Mysterio into the corner before tagging out. Well that was pointless. Hawkins and Ryder get a nice wheelburrow faceplant on Mysterio. Hawkins and Ryder with a good double team backbreaker on Mysterio, getting Hawkins a two count over Mysterio. Mysterio gets an enziguri to Hawkins. Ryder in and he goes for a splash in the corner, but Mysterio avoids it. Mysterio with a head scissors takedown. Springboard cross body gets Mysterio a two count over Ryder. Mysterio knocks Hawkins off the apron and gets a top rope splash on Ryder for a two count. That move really bores me. Mysterio sets Ryder up for the 619 but Hawkins stops it temporarily. Mysterio with a top rope senton to Ryder before setting up for the 619. Hawkins brings a chair into the ring, automatically drawing the disqualifcation, but Mysterio gets a nice springboard dropkick and sends the chair into the face of Hawkins.
Winner: Rey Mysterio
The very definition of completely forgettable – it just never took off outside of a few nice moments. One out of Ten.
Tonight: Undertaker vs. Big Daddy V.
Commercials.
Jesse is backstage with two pictures of Festus. Jesse says that both of Festus’ personalities are completely extreme, so they’re getting Festus help at the doctor’s. I forgot that they weren’t even on a show lately. Is the doctors excuse code for Festus is injured?
Jimmy Wang Yang w/ Shannon Moore vs. Domino w/ Deuce and Cherry
Lock up and Domino gets a headlock takedown on Yang. Domino off the ropes into a nice hip toss by Yang. Domino gets taken down by a hurricanrana, and taken down again thanks to some Yang kicks. Yang goes for a baseball slide but Domino avoids, and Yang kisses the mats outside. Domino with a facelock on Yang. Domino positions Yang on the top rope before jump off the top turnbuckle with an elbow to the back of Yang’s neck. Domino with a snap mare. Back suplex by Domino for a two count. Domino gets Yang in a sleeper hold, but Yang sends Domino face first into the turnbuckle. Missile dropkick gets Yang a two count. Spinning heel kick in the corner by Yang, cross body follows for a two count. Cherry distracts the referee on the apron, allowing Deuce to send Yang into the top rope. Moore gets a Hurricanrana on Deuce. Yang gets the moonsault for the three count.
Winner: Jimmy Wang Yang
What you’ve come to expect from these two, only longer than usual. Three out of Ten. Not bad for a SmackDown match.
Jamie Noble is stretching backstage, when Chuck Palumbo starts yelling at him out of nowhere. Shouting contest begins until Michelle McCool shows up (well, it stops a fair while before she turns up). They’re in a six person tag team match next.
Commercials.
Video for Jeff Hardy. Very good video, makes me want to watch the Ladder Match DVD set.
Chuck Palumbo, Jamie Noble and Michelle McCool vs. John Morrison, Mike Mizanin and Layla El
As if Noble didn’t look small enough, now he’s got the new entrance set to contest with. Palumbo and Morrison start. Palumbo spine busters Morrison into the corner, where Noble tags himself in. Noble with a snap suplex for a one count. Morrison gets a throat shot to Noble before tagging Miz in. Noble goes for a school boy but Mizanin rolls through. Palumbo tags himself in and tosses Noble off of Mizanin. Mc and El start arguing and Palumbo shoves Noble into Mc, knocking her off the apron. Mc isn’t moving and Noble begins calling for the EMTs. So, Palumbo takes advantage of the situation by attacking Noble. Palumbo sends Noble into the steel post before clothes lining him back down. Full Throttle to Noble, and only one referee has the bright idea to stop them – and he gets sent into the steps by Palumbo. Finally, a few more refs come down to stop it all. Mc finally tries to get Palumbo to stop, but he elbows her off. Mc gets taken backstage on a stretcher, while Palumbo gets all dramatic.
Winner: No Contest
What, they couldn’t have waited ten minutes for that to happen? We could’ve had a perfectly good match there, and they had a good start to it as well, instead they killed it. Fucking morons. -Five out of Ten.
Commercials.
Montel Vontavious Porter makes his way out. How long until they get rid of that stupid bouncing castle thing? The novelty has worn off, and it’s not needed now with the new set. Porter recalls the VIP Lounge from last week and says that it must be very difficult for Flair to face the fact that it is all over at the Royal Rumble. Porter says that while Porter is wrestling, Flair will be on the golf course. While Porter is winning World Championship, Flair will be playing shuffle board. While Porter’s career is ending and he’s being inducted into the Hall of Fame, Flair will be languishing in a retirement home. Cue: Flair. Flair says that Porter is actually very entertaining and that the reality is that Madison Square Garden is the grandest stage for him to retire at. The problem is, he’s not ready to go home and that he’ll beat Porter at the Royal Rumble … They gave these guys three minutes when they could’ve gone ten?!
Commercials.
Belfast Brawl: Finlay w/ Hornswoggle vs. The Great Khali w/ Singh
Why is Finlay making his entrance to Hornswoggle’s music and video? Stare down to begin, and Singh throws Khali a chair. Finlay with shillelagh shots, but Khali throws it away. Khali sends Finlay into the corner and stomps away. Khali whips Finlay into the corner, and Finlay comes back into a clothesline by Khali. Khali goes for the chair but Finlay low blows Khali and hits Khali with the chair. Khali practically no sells it and slams the chair into the face of Finlay. Finlay jumps off the second rope but Khali catches him and nails a double handed choke bomb. Khali with a big time chop to the chest of Finlay. Khali grabs Hornswoggle and goes to put Hornswoggle through the announcer’s table, but Finlay attacks Khali with the shillelagh. Finlay loses the shillelagh temporarily before just plummeting Khali with rights and lefts. Finlay checks on Hornswoggle before returning to Ape Shit mode, and busting open Khali with the shillelagh. Finlay slams the chair into the face of Khali. Finlay and Hornswoggle head backstage, and we have our second no contest of the evening.
Winner: No Contest
The only – only – redeeming part of this match was seeing Finlay go ape shit with the shillelagh, which was a pretty cool moment. -Three out of Ten.
Still to come: The Undertaker vs. Big Daddy V. That’s sure to save this show.
Commercials.
Backstage, Finlay and Hornswoggle run into Vince McMahon. Vince says that Finlay made Khali angry. Vince requests some privacy with Hornswoggle, so of course the cameras remain. Vince talks about the Rumble and that it’s every single man for himself, and flat out says that Hornswoggle can’t trust Finlay. Hornswoggle and Khali … Number 1 and 2 at the Rumble? Finlay … Number 30?
Batista makes his way on out. His entrance looks great, of course, and his pyro even looks new too. Batista wishes good luck to Rey Mysterio in his match against Edge this weekend. Batista goes on to put the other twenty nine men in the Rumble on notice, and that history will repeat itself when Batista wins another Royal Rumble … Well that was a quick promo. See, Batista doing quick promos like this I like. But Porter and Flair getting time which is only marginally longer is flat out stupid.
Commercials.
Recap of Palumbo / Noble / McCool. While McCool was being taken to the hospital, Noble checked on her. Aw.
Big Daddy V w/ Matt Striker vs. The Undertaker
Undertaker’s entrance graphics actually leaves a lot to be desired. Doesn’t look like much effort / imagination went into them, I thought it was gonna be featuring tombstones and all that? Taker with rights to start. V whips taker into the corner and Taker comes back into a clothesline. V chokes Taker in the corner before getting the chop to the chest. Taker with rights to V, but V head butts Taker down. V gets the running squash to Taker in the corner. DDT by Taker for a two count. Taker with shoulder blocks before going for Old School, but V stops it. V knocks Taker out of the ring, where Striker gets in a few shots. V slams taker into the steel steps, but Taker gets in some punches and sends V into the steel steps as well. Taker with right hands in the corner before nailing a pair of running clotheslines. Big boot gets V down, and a leg drop gets Taker a two count. Taker goes for the Chokeslam, and connects with it but V kicks out right before the three count. Taker comes off the ropes into the side slam by V. V goes to capitalize, and Taker goes for the Triangle Choke but V blocks it. Scoop slam by V. V gets the big squash on Taker before clubbing away. Taker blocks a club, and locks in something like the Triangle Choke. V taps out right away.
Winner: The Undertaker
Just your usual Undertaker vs. Big Fat Guy Match, with a very anticlimactic ending added on. Practically the exact same as Undertaker vs. Mark Henry. If Henry was fatter and more scantily clad. One out of Ten.
Commercials.
Video of the Royal Rumble. Really not their best video, pretty much just full of trivia. How long until Kane gets the actual record amount eliminations, or there is another woman in the Rumble? I’m sure Victoria and Beth Phoenix would make believable Rumble entrants.
Coach and Cole run down the Royal Rumble card.
It’s CM Punk vs. Edge! It’s next! It’s the main event!
Commercials.
CM Punk w/ Rey Mysterio vs. Edge w/ Zack Ryder and Curt Hawkins
Punk and Edge’s entrances look quite good. Punk kicks Edge and nails a shoulder block. Punk gets a hammerlock, kneeing Edge a few times before sending Edge shoulder first into the turnbuckle. Hammerlock and suplex by Punk, nice. Punk hooks the arm of Edge but Edge whips Punk off. Edge big boots Punk down. Edge elbows Punk in the face before choking him using the knee. Edge goes to the top rope, but Punk throws him off and into the middle of the ring. Punk charges at Edge, but Edge pulls the top rope down and Punk goes outside.
Commercials.
We’re back and Edge has Punk in a headlock. Punk looks to escape before Edge uses the hair to slam him down. Edge off the second rope into a heel kick by Punk. Edge goes for another boot but Punk evades it and kicks Edge down instead. Edge ducks the high knee by Punk in the corner. Edge places Punk on his shoulders for the electric chair drop, but Punk turns it into a victory roll but Edge kicks out. Punk off the top rope but gets caught in a power slam by Edge! Edge covers, but Punk kicks out. Edge goes for the Inverted DDT but Punk stops it. Punk goes to go off the top rope but fucks up and face plants the canvas, and Edge covers for a two count. That’s that quick thinking thing I keep hearing about right there. Edge goes for the spear but Punk kicks Edge! Punk gets a school boy on Edge for a two count!
Edge sends Punk face first into the turnbuckle. Edge goes up top but Punk kicks him down! Punk lifts Edge onto his shoulders on the top rope, but Edge falls behind. Punk jumps over Edge but turns into a spear! Edge covers and gets the three count!
Winner: Edge
These two showed really good chemistry, and it’s easy to say that this was going to be a good match. They delivered but I’m certain that they could’ve done much better given the time and a hotter ending. They swiftly and quickly countered the botched spot, which is always good to see. Outside of that minor complaint, which really is nitpicking, this was good. Six out of Ten.
The Inside Pulse
Rey Mysterio defeats Zack Ryder and Curt Hawkins: 1/10
Jimmy Wang Yang defeats Domino: 3/10
McCool, Noble and Palumbo no contest with El, Mizanin and Morrison: -5/10
Finlay no contests with The Great Khali: -3/10
The Undertaker defeats Big Daddy V: 1/10
Edge defeats CM Punk: 6/10
SmackDown 25/01/08: 3/60
Any regular reader of mine knows that I try to be positive about SmackDown. This episode was just abysmal outside of the main event. Yes, okay, the opening matches weren’t horrible but they were completely forgettable as well. Undertaker and Big Daddy V was nothing that we hadn’t seen before. The Belfast Brawl was only acceptable for the image of Finlay going ape shit with the shillelagh. The whole six person tag segment was a complete mess … Though, on the upside, we at least had a good main event. YouTube the main event, avoid the rest. Until next week, enjoy the Rumble!
