Welcome to the first WWE Pay-Per-View roundtable of 2008! Your favorite writers from Pulse Wrestling join together to discuss the Royal Rumble. Listen to what we all have to say and then voice your own opinions in the forums!
WWE Championship
Randy Orton (c) v. Jeff Hardy
Paul Marshall: I’m digging this match as both Hardy and Orton really went out of their way to make this match very believeable. This match will be a classic, no doubt. I would say that Jeff Hardy should win the title, but logically thinking, Randy Orton is being groomed to defend the title against Triple H at Wrestlemania. So…with that said…
Winner – Randy Orton (Retains Championship)
Paul Beasley: And the Promo-Gold Feud comes to a head, between two of the best mic-workers in the business! This feud has been building and building since someone realised that despite their careful planning and meticulous crafting of the intricate WWE plots, they’d forgotten to write somebody into a feud with Orton for the belt. Because it’s not like the WWE Championship means anything. Vinny Mac and Finlay cutting deals about a midget – that’s what really matters in wrestling. So they plucked Jeff Hardy’s name out of the Random-Bag-of-Wasn’t-Doing-Anything and shoved him into this hurried feud. And surprisingly, it’s been really quite good! Of course that’s mainly because Jeff has no feeling left in his body after years of physical and chemical abuse, so he’s willing to hurl himself from ridiculous heights onto thumbtacks and cacti and beds of nails. Don’t be surprised if these two wrestle all the way to the centre of Toronto and Jeff does a swanton of the CN Tower. And if they’re ever going to capitalise on Jeff Hardy’s popularity, then now would be the time to strike, and solidify him as a Main Eventer. But this is WWE Creative, one of the greatest oxymorons since Military Intelligence, so expect Orton to retain and go on to wrestle in a feud they’ve actually thought about in time for Mania.
Winner – Randall Headkicker
Kace Evers: Each contestant hits their variation of the Diamondcutter at the same time, causing Diamond Dallas Page’s head to explode. Orton survives.
Winner – Randy Orton
Iain Burnside: Here’s what should happen… Our Randy retains the title here in a relatively clean manner, since he’s the champion and needs some sort of credibility, but with a strong element of dickery because it’s what he’s best at and it would help Jeff as well. The H’s are eliminated from the Rumble match through some sort of chicanery involving Vince McMahon and William Regal, then beat up on at least Regal on Raw to try and get a title shot. The only response they receive is that they get to participate in an Elimination Chamber and must take the first spot. That’s at No Way Out, where Our Randy can go off and touch someone else for a while. The Hs are indeed first but Jeff is second. The other four participants don’t really matter but would almost certainly be chosen from Michaels, Kennedy, Jericho, JBL, Umaga and/or Big Show. But not Lashley. Never Lashley. It ends as it began, with the Hs and Jeff the last two remaining. The Hs win in a fairly dubious manner, perhaps with a deliberate low-blow followed by a Pedigree or even a small package. The Hs are all GRR but Jeff comes out on Raw (tee hee) and denounces the Hs for their low-blowing ways and their small packaging. He gets a rematch and wins it cleanly. Regal is flustered and trying to watch Eastenders so he sends them back out for a winner-take-all match the following week, yet that one ends with Our Randy interfering and laying out both of them. He is, after all, quite sick of them touching one another when he could be touched and is cocky enough to touch them both at the same time if need be. Regal, desperately trying to finish the weekly BBC iPlayer session before it’s too late, says that’s fine and books the triple threat for WrestleMania. Jeff wins the title there by beating Orton. The Hs can thus smugly claim to one and all to have elevated him to championship level whilst punishing Our Randy for his recent insubordination by having him be the one to actually do the job. Let Jeff keep the title for a month or two, till that marketable Hardy Boys DVD set is out, and then the Hs can take it home to meet the parents.
Winner – RANDY ORTON takes the title home to headlock it under his pillow
Danny Cox: This has been a damn good feud considering that both of the guys involved suck horribly on the mic. I mean Hardy is just horrible including when HE must TALK only THROUGH clenched TEETH! It was kind of up in the air for a while though except that two weeks ago Jeff climbed up the scaffolding and dove down on top of Orton on the styrofoa…err, set. And then this past Monday Orton got taken out with the ToF. Not to mention, do you really think WWE wants Hardy headlining one of the biggest matches at Mania?
Winner and STILL CHAMP – Randall K. Orton
Mark Allen: When the match was first announced it seemed just like a routine Rumble defense for Orton. But the way Jeff Hardy has been used in the past month has been absolutely phenomenal. He has been the definition of red-hot and booked the way a legitimate number one contender should be. That being said, this has become a much closer contest than it had any right to be. I’m actually going to buy into the hype and Jeffy will get the win. It’ll just be a short reign, but the pop he’ll get if he pulls it off will be phenomenal.
Winner – Jeff Hardy (new Champion)
Andrew Wheeler: So this was supposed to be the filler match for Orton leading up to the Royal Rumble, huh? I guess Vince figured this was a pretty flawless plan; let Jeff Hardy get his fake main event rub on a PPV where no one is tuning in for the WWE Title match but rather the Rumble match itself and then shuttle him back down the card to go back to feuding with Carlito and Snitsky. Unfortunately for Vince, he’s been given an embarrassment of riches with Jeff Hardy. First, Vince realized that those years of pops that Hardy has been getting were in fact legit and not just out of habit. Second, Hardy/Orton has the potential to be a hot moneymaker of a feud. Third, a well-timed suicide dive trumps any crazy storyline. On the other hand, Vince really can’t just give the belt to Hardy and risk hurting the legitimacy of Orton’s title reign…or can he? We all know that the next PPV is going to feature an Elimination Chamber, which means there needs to be reasons for shenanigans in this match. Could Hardy get the pin and then get stripped of the belt? Could Orton intentionally disqualify himself? Could this go to a double count-out? With Hardy’s new-found viability as a main eventer, Vince has several new options at his disposal which means “anything can happen.†Will it? Nah. In the end, no matter what happens, Orton will be holding the gold (even if they hotshot the belt to Jeff for a few weeks, it’ll be Randy main eventing Mania.) The biggest test for this match is the MSG crowd, who used to be the true barometer for wrestlers. Why has everyone bought into this Hardy nonsense when they wouldn’t swallow Cena? When will a crowd point out that Orton is not a main event champion? Maybe MSG craps all over this match or maybe they buy into the nonsense that the WWE is selling them.
Winner – Randy Orton will retain that belt, by gawd!
Matthew Michaels: I’m rooting for Hardy, and think WWE should put the belt on him, but Hunter vs. Orton seems to make the most sense (and WWE’s plans for a while) for Mania, so…
Winner – Randy Orton
Staff Results: Randy Orton – 7; Jeff Hardy – 1
World Heavyweight Championship
Edge (c) v. Rey Mysterio
Paul Beasley: And another filler title match! Excellent! Just to demonstrate their commitment to their premier belts! Seriously, how the hell can WWE (or What?Who?Eh? as they should probably be known) put so little thought into the matches for their two biggest titles on of the Big 4 PPVs? This is ridiculous. Rey is not going to take the title and they’ll just keep it on Edge until Mania probably. Rey might win via DQ though, through Edgehead-erference. If the writers can’t be arsed with this, then why should we?
Winner – Rey
Kace Evers: Crazy shenanigans abound as Edge wins, because he’s a Guerrero now.
Winner – Edge Guerrero
Iain Burnside: This should be the best throwaway Royal Rumble undercard World Heavyweight Title defence there has ever been, which isn’t saying all that much to be honest. Look at the previous efforts… the Hs and Scott Steiner in the hilarious suplex romp of ’03… the Hs and Michaels in the homoerotic tragedy of ’04… the Hs and Our Randy in the post-dated squash of ’05… Kurt Angle (wasted) and Mark Henry (fat) in the great dullathon of ’06, complete with special appearance from Undertaker’s Magic Horse Cart of Whimsical Explosions… Batista and Kennedy going through some uninteresting motions in ’07… yes, it is safe to assume that this match can somehow leap above the lowered bar of expectations that history has set in place. It will of course be fun. There will be some jumping. Masks and girly hair shall be adjusted. Wheelchairs shall be stabilised. Booyaka and Metalingus all over the place. No title change but, still, fun.
Winner – EDGE the edgiest edge that there ever was edged
Danny Cox: I hope to God that Mysterio doesn’t win the title and I don’t think he will either. With Chavo just winning the ECW title, Edge as the World Champion, and I foresee the Edgeheads winning the tag straps soon…a brand new and better Evolution type stable can dominate over Smackdown and ECW. Introducing…Mi R-Rated Familia!
Winner and STILL CHAMP – Edge
Mark Allen: I think this should be a really good match, but all the booking points to Edge going to WrestleMania still as Champion. He’s got too many face challengers waiting in the wings to drop the belt to Rey.
Winner – Edge
Andrew Wheeler: Filler main event match part 2. Rey needed another main event shot to remind fans that he’s a top guy and that his merchandise is available now on WWESHop.com. Does Rey have a chance in hell? No way. He’s the perfect speedbump for Edge because he’s legit yet he can take a loss. Plus, he factors in nicely with the Edge/Guerrerro storyline that’s icking up Friday nights. Oh, and the match itself is guaranteed to be great, so hopefully the MSG crowd will respond in kind. Maybe it’s time for the WWE to show that they can put on a match that can appease both the sports entertainment crowd and the ROH-bots. Or they could let the ex-Majors do a run-in and have the match just barely cross the 11 minute mark. Either way, it’s Edge to the main event and (as I keep saying) Rey entering a feud with Batista.
Winner – Edge
Matthew Michaels: I’d be shocked if Rey won, but this will be a good match between the former tag champions.
Winner – Edge
Paul Marshall: On the flip side, this match is pretty much self explanatory. Edge won the title last month and it seems that Smackdown is going with the Streak v. Title route at Wrestlemania between Edge and the Deadman. That is…unless CM Punk wins the Royal Rumble, to which I will discuss later.
Winner – Edge (Retains Championship)
Staff Results: Edge – 7; Rey – 1
Career Threatening Match
Ric Flair v. MVP
Kace Evers: Flair wins and reminisces about the good ol’ days when guys like he, Jimmy Snuka and Magnum TA were US Heavyweight Champions.
Winner – Ric Flair
Iain Burnside: Oooh, threatening. There is of course no way that this Flair gig ends until WrestleMania, which puts MVP in a rather unfortunate position. One easy way out is to have him lose courtesy of a Matt Hardy run-in, or even on a fluke roll-up followed by a post-match beatdown that sees Matt turn up and yodel in a confrontational manner. However, if Matt does appear anywhere on this show with all relevant body parts intact and unexplosive, it will probably be in or after his brother’s match. The other option is just to have MVP grow weary of having to touch all those saggy body parts on Flair and walk out for a deliberate count-out loss once again. That would at least be in keeping with his character. It would also provide a nice way-in for continuing his feud with Matt. A singles match for the US title between them can end with MVP again taking the count-out defeat before an ever-more irritable Teddy Long takes advantage of Vickie Guerrero being besotted by Edge and gets a Ladder Match for the US title booked at WrestleMania. I know, I know, Money in the Bank, yadda, yadda, blah, but using the ladders for the US title scene instead makes perfect sense considering Matt’s experience in them and Teddy’s general dislike of all things Vontavious-esque. I guess a Cage Match would work as well but then why not use that for Money in the Bank instead? A six or eight man free-for-all inside a cage, first one to escape and claim the briefcase from the aisle gets to keep it. Easy – and different. As for Flair, well, it’s really anybody’s guess as to who he’ll face at WrestleMania. Our poll put C.M. Punk as the top candidate with MVP a close second but it seems unlikely that either of them will get the spot (in fact, it will probably go to Kennedy). Whilst it would not be at all unexpected for WWE to overlook Matt Hardy yet again by forgetting to resume his MVP feud, it would indeed be a foolish move. After all, there is a Hardy Boys DVD set to promote shortly after WrestleMania and he ought to at least have the US title for then. Punk is the one that makes the most sense given the natural conflict between the young Straight Edge and the old Nature Boy lifestyles but I have absolutely zero confidence in WWE being able to pull it off. Lord knows we’ll need to have Vince McMahon interjected somewhere in the middle of whatever Flair does now, further diluting the entire angle. Punk no longer has the ECW title and has unresolved issues with the Guerreros and Edge to be made busy with. Plus, to be the one to retire Flair and really make the most of it, they would need to turn him heel. Somehow I don’t think that turning the fans on the one certain drug-free wrestler they have at this point in time would be the sort of thing they’d want to do. Doing a temporary turn only to be endorsed by Flair afterwards with an honourable handshake could work but, again, would Vince be content with such relative subtlety? Probably not. Nowhere near enough leprechauns involved. By the way, why have they not booked Hornswoggle vs Dink yet?
Winner – RIC FLAIR and false hope
Danny Cox: Hmmmm Flair isn’t going to retire any time soon, but I also don’t think that the title is going to be given to him either. MVP is on fire and there’s no need to take the title away from him right now because he isn’t moving up to main event yet and even less so with Edge as the champ. Wait…the match isn’t for the title? Well then, Easy Peasy Japanesy!
Winner – Ric Flair
Mark Allen: The Nature Boy keeps his streak alive. It’ll probably be another BS count out or disqualification win.
Winner – Ric Flair
Andrew Wheeler: MVP beats Diesel’s old record against Bob Backlund and pins Flair in 9 seconds, instantly causing a riot that brings down the Garden. Look, I’m all in favor of this match. Flair gets to put on another great match with another up-and-comer who gets the Ric rub. Porter gets to show Creative that he is a main eventer. The fans get a potential match of the night. Everyone wins. Well except for Porter, who’s got no chance of retiring Flair.
Winner – Ric Flair
Matthew Michaels: Nah, he ain’t losing here. Hopefully he even gets a non-DQ/countout win (via cheating of course). I’d be fine with Matt Hardy helping his fellow North Carolinian.
Winner – Ric Flair
Paul Marshall: Sorry MVP, but Ric Flair is better than you. Hopefully this gets more attention than the prior matches Flair wrestled under this stipulation. Perhaps Matt Hardy returns and exacts revenge on MVP.
Winner – Ric Flair
Paul Beasley: Hmmmm…. Let me think…. Wait, it’s not for the US title? So it’s just for the career? And MVP has pretty much no history with Flair so if Ric loses it would be the biggest anti-climax of a retirement angle ever for one of the biggest stars ever? Hmmmm…. yeah…. tough one.
Winner – Gimme a break. Flair.
Staff Results: Ric Flair – 8; MVP – 0
John Bradshaw Layfield v. Chris Jericho
Danny Cox: Flab B L and Jericho are going to put on a very good match I feel and I’m looking forward to it. Now Jericho lost his first PPV match upon his return…well, he didn’t lose it but he didn’t win the title either. Revenge is gotten here.
Winner – Jericho
Iain Burnside: RING, RING, RING goes the trolley. DING, DING, DING goes the bell. I love it when JBL picks fights. He’s all “Hey, you, let’s fight!” And then Jericho is like “We-eh-eh-ell, I wanna be a rock star.” And then Bradshaw’s just “Don’t go there, girlfriend.” But then Y2J is all like “Snap!” Bring It On 3: Why Do I Know There Was A Bring It On 2? Perhaps every wrestling match should have Eliza Dushku impersonating one of the wrestlers, or even impersonating a naked hot woman swivelling on my cock. With TASSLES. And MORE COWBELL. RING, RING, RING goes the trolley. DING, DING, DING goes the bell. Let’s have an awful lot of pyro and never learn how to sell. Come to think of it, where in the world is Eliza Dushku these days anyway? I know she’s not on my cock anyway. You know what is on it? Flaccidity. Honestly, do you think I’d be sporting a raging hard-on sitting here typing up a roundtable entry for a wrestling show? Not even the gays do that and they’ll do anything if there’s a breath mint available afterwards. Actually, the gays are a very minty people and they have been ever since Satan created them in his Lab of Islamic Commie Jew Nazi Republican Fag Development. There must be some more people I can insult here. Uppity niggers? TRIP-LE H! TRIP-LE H! TRIP-LE H! He’s like Nick Nolte in 48 Hours, right down to the scrumptious head of hair. I guess that makes Eddie Murphy into Shawn Michaels, which works on some levels since they both knocked-up shitty dancers and Jeebus was black. I don’t know what movie duo JBL and Jericho could be but I derive a strange sensation of pleasure from picturing them in The Dawson’s Creek. Jericho would be The Dawson and wear pyjama bottoms in public whilst screaming loudly whenever Katie Holmes started to speak and give her the ol’ COME ON BABY stomp each time she showed her gums whilst smiling. Meanwhile, JBL would be The Pacey and embark upon a mission to knock over everything, get it drunk, and then fuck some part of it, before winding up in jail after being found trying to impregnate a defenceless squirrel what had to dance with what brung ye to the dance, Michael. And then in season two when he won his release they wouldn’t play that “eye don wanna what… doo-doodoo-doo” song, they’d play RING, RING, RING goes the trolley. DING, DING, DING goes the bell. Where the hell did I put my car keys? I’m too drunk to tell.
Winner – JBL or some sort of DQ and hopefully MORE COWBELL
Mark Allen: They’ve put too much promo work and angle into this feud for it to be a one-and-done. Both men are also just coming back so neither should really lose either. This is JBL technical return match so he’ll get the win by some chicanery to keep heat on the rivalry.
Winner – JBL
Andrew Wheeler: I couldn’t hate this more if I tried. Seriously? Remember a few months back in my column when I said that the WWE was going to royally screw up Chris Jericho’s return and he was going to run screaming back to retirement? Well, behold my ability to see the future. This is a feud that benefits neither guy since JBL can’t possibly stay a full-time competitor and chances are Chris will be done by Survivor Series, so why bother? If the WWE is smart, they let Jericho annihilate JBL and put Bradshaw back on SmackDown! where he belongs (because the Coach is just plain awful).
Winner – Chris Jericho…or sanity
Matthew Michaels: I think JBL should win this, with Jericho taking the rematch at Mania.
Winner – Bradshaw
Paul Marshall: This one will be an ugly brawl. If the WWE was smart, they should keep this hot feud going until Wrestlemania. I mean, what else is JBL and Jericho doing between now and then? My point exactly. This math, I say should end in a double disqualification due to the brawling factor, but I have to remember that the last time I guessed a double DQ, I was robbed. So, I’m flipping a coin here, in hopes that the feud doesn’t stop here.
Winner – Chris Jericho (DQ Finish)
Kace Evers: The match is interrupted as Ron Simmons sings his favorite Sophie B. Hawkins song on stage. Layfield is confused and pinned in a rollup. Frustrated, Layfield blames the Evil Liberal Media and vows to invest in more American stocks. Or something.
Winner – Chris Jericho
Paul Beasley: Look Ma – a feud! A real one! Even if it is one of the dumbest feuds in history for so many reasons. 1) The feud started when the WWE thought in their wisdom that hyping Jericho’s return as the Saviour for months would be best paid off by having him losing against Orton straight away, instantly killing any momentum. 2) Now if Jericho loses, he will have lost all heat and be buried back in the RAW Midcard as a complete non-entity, but if JBL loses then all his momentum from his own return to the ring is lost straight away. Lose-lose scenario. Well done. 3) The feud began because a wrestler pushed past a then-announcer to get back into the title match he was fighting at the time. Yeah. Because that’s a reason to start a feud. Ugh. I despair of WWE writers at this point. Considering how good both of these guys are with a stick in their hands, this feud should have been golden. But it’s been thrown together at the wrong time and for the wrong reasons. Ridiculous.
Winner – JBL, and Jericho finds that creative have built him a nice shiny new glass ceiling to keep him dry. Just like before he left. He must feel right at home now.
Staff Results: Chris Jericho – 4; John Bradshaw Layfield – 4
The Royal Rumble
Thirty Superstars…One Man’s Dream to Main Event Wrestlemania
Mark Allen: Booking either puts this at either an Undertaker or Triple H win. Thanks to the dual belts whoever doesn’t win here will still to WrestleMania and challenge anyways. But I really think HHH will get the win here based on his recent actions on RAW.
Winner – HHH
Andrew Wheeler: This is one of the least star studded Rumbles in quite some time. Most of the people in this thing have zero shot at winning it and have no business being in there. It’s coming down to Shawn Michaels, Undertaker, Batista, Kennedy, Hunter, Umaga or Punk. That’s about it. Well you can cross Umaga off first since he isn’t main eventing Mania against Orton. Same goes for Kennedy. Punk would be a hell of shocker to win it (especially in front of a Garden crowd) and then he could challenge Edge and they could put on one spectacular main event, but why elevate him and let him make them money? That’s crazy. So we’re down to Batista, Taker, Hunter or Michaels. Talk about the young blood. The Rumble is that great match that instantly rises a new superstar, and since Punk isn’t getting that rub, why not give it to a vet? They could do a final four that sees DX against Batista/Taker and really pop the crowd. Well Hunter isn’t going to win it because while we know he’s going to the Rumble to face the champ, we also know that we’ve got an Elimination Chamber which means no RAW guy is going to win the Rumble itself. Same goes for Michaels. He had his Mania moment last year and will probably wind up in a match against Kennedy at Mania (or maybe his first MITB match?). Now we’ve got Batista or Taker. Batista held the gold for a while but I really believe they’ll turn him heel to have him feud with Rey, so no dice for Dave. And that means we’re down to Taker, who will do the undefeated streak versus undefeated streak against Edge at Mania. I guess if Shawn and Austin got to go back-to-back, why not Undertaker?
Winner – Undertaker
Matthew Michaels: Well, local advertising for No Way Out has a bunch of RAW wrestlers in an Elimination Chamber for a RAW title shot; yet things change all the time. The obvious can happen, with HHH winning and going on to Mania. The Undertaker or Batista can win to face Edge at Mania. Yet… what about a RAW wrestler can win the Rumble, and challenging for the Smackdown belt? Or Punk winning and challenging Edge or Chavo? Decisions, decisions…
Winner – Batista
Paul Marshall: The only people that matter in the Rumble this year are Triple H, CM Punk, Undertaker, Shelton Benjamin, Shawn Michaels, & Mr. Kennedy. Since the rumors of the proposed Elimination Chamber Match at No Way Out claim that the RAW brand being the ones involved in that match, I feel that someone from ECW or SmackDown will win. I don’t feel the Undertaker should win the Rumble two years in a row and the WWE won’t put the ECW Title as the main event at Wrestlemania. That being said, it’s easy to eliminate Benjamin from the equation. CM Punk remains in this because of his newly formed feud with Edge, but I doubt WWE officials see that as a match that would make huge buys at Wrestlemania. My uneducated guess would be that if the Undertaker doesn’t win the Rumble this year, then the rumors for No Way Out have been drastically changed. After rambling over nothing, I get this result…
Winner – The Undertaker
Paul Beasley: Finally something that actually belongs on this card. The Rumble itself. Ah, how I love the Rumble. Always have. It’s probably my favourite event in the wrestling calendar. No finesse, no technical highspots, just plain old-fashioned fun. Of course, there are now 3 people that could theoretically win it. Trips (because they’ve made such a meal of whether he’s in the Rumble or not), Undertaker again (because Edge v Taker at Mania would be a logical pay-off match for a very long feud, and also have that added Streak-versus-Streak factor), and C.M.Punk (because he’s just lost his ECW belt). Of course, we all know the real reason that Punk lost his belt was because the card was already full of meaningless matches and clearly they don’t consider the ECW title to be as big a match as JBL/Jericho. So we’ll take Punk out of the equation. Trips? Well, I have no idea WHAT they’re doing with this angle, so he’s still in there. And Taker is definitely an option. But since Trips will probably have another opportunity to boost his Rumble-count, and Taker probably won’t, I’m going with Taker. And most eliminations will likely go to Big Daddy V, who’s knocking people silly until Taker eliminates him.
Winner – Taker
Kace Evers: Ken Kennedy wins, just to piss off everyone outside of Wisconsin. Afterwards, he’s injured at the hands of the returning Molly Holly and it causes him to miss WrestleMania.
Winner – Ken Kennedy
Iain Burnside: There’s no way that Smackdown can provide as interesting an Elimination Chamber line-up as Raw, which means one of their guys must win here. To cut a long story short, it’s The Undertaker. They could do a bait-and-switch with somebody else winning and then losing the contendership at No Way Out but since that PPV is already geared towards settling a different contendership, it would be overkill. Besides, they’ve been planning the Edge/Taker title match for almost a year. Since they’ve been fortunate enough to get away with injuries and suspensions and still be in a position to deliver it, there’s no point in havering over it at this stage. If only they had removed Edge from Money in the Bank last year, which they should have done anyway considering he was injured, then it would truly be two undefeated Mania streaks colliding. If there is one thing that they will want to emulate from last year it’s not just Taker winning the Rumble but doing so in a dramatic climax, which makes it all but definite that Batista will be the last person eliminated. It would be a fitting epitaph to their year-long growling contest – provided they don’t throw in yet another match between the two at No Way Out. If there’s one other thing that ought to be done during the Rumble it’s a surprise appearance by John Cena. Nobody will expect it due to his injury and the movie shoot, yet it would be a one-night-only deal and he wouldn’t even have to get in the ring or even get physical. Imagine that there’s one last entrant to come out. The countdown is on and most people are expecting it to be the Big Show, yet instead – ABERDEEN – the music hits and he comes stumbling out in that special way of his, with the crowd making various noises in response. He milks it and shuffles down the aisle but, oooh, Our Randy sprints down behind him and flattens him with an RKO, props him up against the crowd barrier and Legend Punts him in the head. Additionally, while this is going on and the referees are freaking out about Cena the Concussed, Michaels eliminates Kennedy but none of the officials catch it. Kennedy promptly ducks back in and officially eliminates Michaels, who casts his arms to the heavens and praises Jeebus for causing him such anguish. That would actually play off of Kennedy’s Austin fixation, harking back to the ’97 event and ironically putting Michaels in the Bret Hart role. It would also help to keep that feud heated heading into the Elimination Chamber.
Winner – THE UNDERTAKER, again
Danny Cox: Ok so let’s first see who won’t be winning it: Mark Henry, Chuck Palumbo, Noble, Carlito, Santino, Snitsky, Big Daddy B (traditional 8 men take out the big guy spot), Tommy Dreamer, Shelton, The Miz, John Morrison, Hardcore Holly, Mick Foley, Hornswoggle, Cody Rhodes, Great Khali, and unfortunately Umaga or Finlay. Shannon Moore and Jimmy Wang Yang qualified but WWE has never recognized it, so that takes away two more.
That leaves Taker, HBK, Mr. Kennedy, Batista, Kane, Triple H, and four remaining spots. I foresee two of those remaining four spots being put to comedy relief so that’s 28 guys. I think CM Punk and Ric Flair are going to end up grabbing the final spots. HBK isn’t winning it and I don’t believe Batista or sadly Kane will either and Flair will get tossed too.
Final Four are Taker, Triple H, Mr. Kennedy, and Punk. I’m going out on a limb here.
Winner – Miiiiiiiiissstttteeerrr KENNEDY…Kennedy!
Staff Results: HHH – 1; Undertaker – 4; Batista – 1; Mr. Kennedy – 2
Be sure to come back to Pulse Wrestling tonight as I will be having live coverage of the Royal Rumble tonight starting at 6:30PM Central Standard Time!
