CHIKARA Pro ‘Bruised’ DVD Review, 10/26/07

CHIKARA Pro: Bruised

For an introduction to CHIKARA, check out my New Star Navigation DVD review.

Due to some dumb scheduling on my part, here I’m reviewing the show which happened the night before New Star Navigation; Bruised. Anyways, we have a sweet card lined up – Tim Donst looks for revenge of Eddie Kingston, Claudio looks to destroy the Kings of Wrestling and Incoherence get a shot at the Campeones de Parejas. Should be awesome!

And read Aaron, Jake and New ROH DVD Reviewer, Mark Buckledee.

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*Chikara Director of fun, Leonard F. Chikarason interview: He starts talking about the show tonight, but he’s soon interrupted by Eddie Kingston. They arrange Kingston vs Hallowicked for November 18th. King then cuts a promo regarding tonight, with his match with Tim Donst. They say this match is about revenge, and if King’s going down, he’s taking Donst with him.

*We’re in Reading, PA tonight. Crowd is about 80 – 120.

1. The Order of the Neo Solar Temple vs USApe, Moscow and Dragon Dragon: Okay, we have one wacky Trios match here. The Order are Hydra, Mantis and Bones, going against Chikara’s resident primate in USApe, Chikara’s resident bovine in Moscow (the communist bovine) and the returning, Dragon Dragon (basically a man in a giant bright green dragon costume)!

Match: This was pretty hilarious. The fans are hot for the returning Dragon Dragon. We start with USApe running wild on Hydra. I’m baffled by how he can hit body slams on the 1000+ pounder that is Hydra. I guess primates are really strong. Dragon Dragon and Mantis go at it, and Dragon does some Lucha, must to the fan’s delight. He ties up mantis and starts hitting MMA Elbows! He must be a fan of the American Dragon, Bryan Danielson. USApe starts hitting these top rope moves and a crazy dive, and this is awesome.

Things slow down as The Order isolate ol’ USApe and work him down. He comes back and makes the hot tag, but Moscow soon falls to a stiff forearm/cow tip from Bones/UMB. Dragon Dragon hits his Dragon kicks to all of the TONST. USApe tires to Gorilla Press Hydra, but Hydra falls on top of him, and after an assisted splash, the Order pick up the win!
Winners: The Order of The Neo Solar Temple.

That was so much fun. Awesome comedy combined with the usual 6 man formula and we have a great opener.
***.

2. Dragon Yuki vs Jigsaw: This is a random exhibition match, woo.

Match: We start with some decent power vs speed stuff. Fans are big time into Jiggy. Jig starts working Yuki’s leg. He slows things down alot and even starts using some rudo tactics. The fans still cheer him though. Yuki makes a comeback with some suplexes and things. Jig hits a massive superkick for a nearfall. He goes back to the leg and applies a Kondo Klutch, and Yuki taps.
Winner: Jigsaw.

Not bad, but nothing special. Seeing Jigsaw work rudo was pretty interesting and the match had heat, but it was just generally dull.
**.

3. The Osirian Portal vs Cheech and Cloudy: Cheech and Cloudy have 1 point going into this, as do the Portal. Should be a fun tag match.

Match: This is like, the Portal’s second match in Chikara. Cheech and Cloudy are mega over, as they should be. We start with Cloudy and Ophidian. Cloudy runs wild with some arm drags and such. Cheech and Cloudy hit some cool double teams, including a flipping senton from Cloudy off of Cheech’s shoulders. The Portal soon slow it down and isolate Cloudy. They do some cool double teams and things. Cloudy comes back on Ophidian, hitting the Swiss Hammer (Torture rack ace crusher)!

Hot tag to Cheech. He comes in and KILLS Amasis with a lariat. We get some nearfalls for both teams, until UIS hit ‘partly Cloudy with a chance of Cheech’ (619/back of head dropkick combo) and their Shining Wizard/Powerbomb onto Knee combo for the 3 on Amasis.
Winners: Cheech and Cloudy.

Fun match. For their experience, the Portal are awesome, and Cheech and Cloudy were their usual good selves. Add some good formula and you have yourself a great little undercard match.
***.

4. The Olsen Twins and BRODIE LEE vs The Colony: Some cool trios stuff here with the Olsens, The Colony and BRODIE . This is a rematch from The Invaders weekend 2007 Night 1, where the Olsens and BRODIE picked up the win.

Match: It starts chaotic with everyone going at it. The Colony run wild and it’s all good. Great part where Soldier makes Jimmy do a salute, then arm drags him with the other arm. Olsens and Brodie soon isolate one of the ants, Worker is the unlucky one today. He gets worked down for ages, until he dives out of the ring to make the tag. Unfortunately, the Olsens cut off Soldier and Fire while Brodie throws him over the top rope, back into the ring. He escapes a back drop though, and makes the tag to his partners!

Soldier and Fire form a Gi-ANT (Fire on Soldier’s shoulders). The Olsens are happy because they don’t need to duck Fire’s double clothesline, but they get hit by Soldier’s! There’s a fun corner attack sequence with Brodie annihilating Worker’s face (with the BOOT). The Olsens get over-reliant on Brodie, so Worker rolls up Jimmy from behind with a Victory roll for the 3!
Winners: The Colony.

Nice trios action. Brodie was awesome in his role here, and with The Olsens and The Colony in the same ring, you know you have some good multi-man stuff.
***.

5. Chuck Taylor vs Claudio Castagnoli: This is Claudio’s official start to killing the Kings of Wrestling. Claudio is a super awesome babyface, and Chuck is a super entertaining heel, so we should get some good stuff here.

Match: Chuck is his usually cowardly self to start. Claudio starts running wild with his power, until Chuck ends his momentum with dirty tactics. Chuck tries to keep Claudio down, but he’s just too strong. CC hits his bicycle kick to the face and hits a running Swiss Hammer (which I marked for). Chuck tries to use his speed, hitting a missile dropkick and a big boot for 2. He can’t keep Claudio down though, and is hit with a big European and the RIIIICOLA Bomb for 3.
Winner: Claudio Castagnoli.

That was really fun. It was alot shorter than expected (only about 8 minutes), but I liked that because it felt pretty different. Both guys played their roles perfectly (CC as the dominating powerhouse, Chuck as the cowardly heel); good match.
***1/4.

6. Mitch Ryder vs Equinox: With Mitch being one of the slower workers on the roster, and Equinox being an awful flippy guy, this doesn’t look too good. Hopefully the ring can explode like, a minute in; Mitch will forever on be known as a sacrifice.

Match: Mitch stalls and jaws with the fans at the beginning. He tells a fan in the second row he’ll punch him so hard he’ll never grow hair again! Equinox starts
running wild, hitting some hip tosses and a dropkick. Mitch soon cuts him off and SLOWS it down. He puts a chinlock on. An abdominal stretch. I love it. He tells the ref to look at the entrance-way, and as he does punches Equinox right in the face. Equinox hits a hiptoss and goes for a dive, but Mitch moves and he falls FACE FIRST on the wooden floor. Equinox finally does make a comeback, but Mitch soon cuts him off and hits a good ol’ piledriver for the 3.
Winner : Mitch Ryder.

That was about 1287282 times better than expected. Mitch’s heel shtick was AWESOME, and Equinox’s stuff actually looked decent. I would’ve liked a bit longer finishing stretch, but for a post intermission match it’s understandable. Near perfect for what it was.
***.

7. NWA World Jr. Heavyweight Title: Mike Quackenbush (c) vs Lince Dorado: Real life student vs teacher here. Quack is the man – can go a million different styles, knows a million different holds and is millions of awesome. Lince has been improving recently, and considering the chemistry between these 2 (Quack training Lince) this should be pretty sweet.

Match: They start with a feeling out process. Some armdrags are exchanged, and it’s not very intense. Lince does some flips and the fans love it. Quack puts on a submission, but out come Mitch Ryder and Chuck Taylor. Mitch low blows Quack as Chuck handcuffs him to the ropes. Mitch then gets out a belt and WHIPS Lince with it. He hits him like, 30 times. Brutal. Mitch cuts a promo, talking about how the fans and Chikarason were responsible for this because of their support for Lince. The match is thrown out regardless.
Winner: No contest (Quack retains).

Angle advancer with nothing to the match.
1/2*.

8. Eddie Kingston vs Tim Donst: Yeah! So, the deal here is, back at Chikara’s Showdown is CRISISLand! Event, these 2 had a match. Donst walked in as a relatively unknown man, looking to make a name for himself defeating a Chikara vet. King was incredibly annoyed at the time, because at the show he didn’t get a match with Hallowicked like he hoped for. Wrong place, wrong time for Donst.

King gave the poor kid the most brutal beating ever seen in Chikara history. Donst fought back, but was soon put to rest with King’s backfist to the future. It was only an extended squash, but man, it was done perfectly. Anyways, that put Donst on the map in Chikara, so on this show, he’s requesting a rematch, to get his revenge on Kingston!

Match: King makes his usual entrance. Donst’s music hits, but instead of his usual entrance, he runs straight into the ring and takes it to King! He hits and STO for 2. The fans are going nuts as these two brawl. King starts slapping and chopping the hell out of Timothy, but he fights back with his own chops. We see King start to dominate, but not for too long as Donst avoids/counters lots of the moves King hit him with in their last encounter. King still beats the crap out of him. He gets pissed at a fan and throws the cap off his head. As he comes back in, Donst gets some offence, but King soon ends his momentum with a hard slap.

King slaps him in the corner then gives him one of the LOUDEST headbutts I’ve ever heard. Sick. Donst sells it like he’s literally dead. He doesn’t move an inch for about 10 seconds. After some more beating, including a high angle Dragon Suplex, Donst comes back with BABYFACE FIRE. Things wind up on the outside, where unlike their last, Donst hits King with a lariat on the floor!

Back in, King hits an Uranage suplex, then screams “we’re gonna have fun now!” He proceeds to destroy Tim’s face with a sick lariat. It gets a close 2. Donst hits a pair of capture Backdrop Drivers for 2! The fans really want Donst to win here. He gets a rollup for 2. He picks up King, but King hits his Spinning backfist to the Future! 1, 2, 3. Boo.
Winner: Eddie Kingston.

That was freaking awesome. Perfect story with Donst wanting his revenge, going straight after Kingston and still being the thinking wrestler he is avoiding King’s moves. King’s beatdown of Donst was even more brutal than the one back at SDiC, and that’s saying something. I didn’t much like the finish; it shows King being the better striker than Donst overall (most of this match was striking), but it came a bit too out of nowhere.
***3/4.

9. CHIKARA Campeones de Parejas: Team FIST (Icarus and Gran Akuma) vs Incoherence: In Chikara, a team needs 3 points to challenge for the tag belts. Over the course of the last year, Incoherence won their 3 matches, so head they’re cashing in and getting their shot at the seemingly un-dethronable FIST.

FIST’s music hits, but only Icarus comes out. He cuts a promo saying Akuma is injured, and out Akuma walks in crutches. They say they can’t defend the belts. Commissioner of Fun, Lenny Chikarason gets on the mic and says they HAVE to defend ‘em or they’ll be given straight to Incoherence. FIST have no answer, so Lenny goes backstage and drags out Chuck Taylor! Chuck isn’t even dressed to wrestle (he was on his way out), but is forced to. Wippee!

Match: Like, a minute in, FIST get the first fall when Icarus pins Hallowicked a confusing rollup. Incoherence get control and work over Icarus for a bit. Wicked is soon made face-in-peril. After 5 minutes or so of heat on him, he comes back and Delirious gets the hot tag. It breaks down, and Delirious hits Chuck with a perfect Chemical Imbalance #2 for a 3 count. 1 – 1 now, final fall time. The third fall is pretty much all nearfalls, but it’s all good. Both teams hit all their signature stuff but no one is going down. Hallowicked no-sells a pedigree, but gets hit with another one for his trouble. 1…2…NO! Delirious takes an Omega Driver, but Wicked breaks up the pin. Seeing as FIST can’t put Incoherence down normally, they go to cheat, with Akuma trying to hit Wicked with his crutch, but Wicked ducks and he connects with Icarus! Wicked rolls him up! 1…2…No! Icarus hulks up, but Wicked runs off the ropes and boots his face OFF with the Yakuza Kick! 1…2…3!
Winners, and NEW Campeones de Parejas: Incoherence.

Awesome match. They were totally going for the epic dethroning of the hated champions (FIST), and it totally worked. Sufficient length and formula, and the finishers and (contextual) no selling in the finishing stretch made this one for the ages. The action was very slow and pretty sloppy at times, but overall this was great.
***3/4.

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Overall: Good show! This show was more of a short, storyline based show over the relative supercards Chikara likes to usually put on, and it worked really well. The fans were red hot pretty much the whole night – that really made certain matches better (King/Donst for example).

Last week I recommended New Star Navigation as a starting place, this week I say get that AND this show for the perfect intro to CHIKARA.

Overall Score: 7.5/10.

This DVD, along with all Chikara shows can be found at www.smartmarkvideo.com.

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