Monday, February 04, 2008
Message from Jake “The Snake” Roberts
(Note: This was called in for Team Snake to post from Jake in rehab.)
Congratulations! The Giants win 17-14 over the Patriots. Didn’t really matter that they went 18-0. All that will be remembered is how they finished. Which brings me to where I am at in my life. 52 years ago started out on a journey through hell and high water. Sometimes my path was directed by others. Other times, I carved my own trail. Living in the past or trying to live in the future doesn’t do anything for me but leave me sitting on my ass, one foot in the past one foot in the future, with no leg to stand on. So with all the kudos that have been laid upon Jake I’m still lost in a quagmire of depression, drugs, and alcohol.
Fans, friends and family first of all I want to say Thank you for all of your support, love and kindness. Second of all I want you all to know how unhappy, how hopeless and how empty I was. The Truth is I would probably would of had to have felt better about myself before I could even die, that’s how miserable I was. But just like the underdog Giants I still had one flicker of a flame left that desired not to go out. In September after many months and years of wallowing and being completely out of control I had a brief moment of clarity. I want to live again. Kind of simple some might think. But if you knew how I felt at that time you would understand. Through all the garbage and the mess that I created I still saw a chance and had the faith to believe I could do it. One problem I faced was finally taking that first step, which I did, making a decision to do something about my situation. Two, was how would it be financed? After all, recovery certainly isn’t cheap. Well folks, the truth is, think what you want justify or summarize, I don’t care. But Vince McMahon and the WWE saved my life, plain and simple. Do I like it? The fact is, I don’t. But I am damned sure grateful. NO I don’t like having slid to where I was at, feeling like I did. NO, oh no, but the truth is I was a dead man walking. Still breathing, heart still beating, but my soul was dead and gone. So thank all of you, my friends, my family, my fans, especially Vince McMahon. Thank you for tossing me that life preserver. Yes Vince you threw me a life preserver, and I grabbed hold of it.
Thank you friends, family and fans for keeping my heart beating long enough for me to make that decision, to reach out and grab a hold. Its amazing how quickly a life can change for better or worse. Mine, I can’t even recognize it. But thank you WWE for whatever reason, doesn’t matter to me. You gave me a life, my own.
Thank you for giving me back my dream. Thank you for giving me an opportunity to stand tall again, and free. Free of the things that no one needs in their lives. Freedom from anger and hate and all of it directed at myself. You see today I understand one thing. I wasn’t just a sick sorry no good son of a bitch. I was a human being with a disease. This one is different from cancer or all of those other horrible human afflictions. This one can’t be cured. But today I have the tools, knowledge, and the will and the faith that I need to keep my disease in check. My hope is someday I will regain the family, the friends and the fans that I have lost due to my past actions. My hope is someday you will all forgive me, as God has, as I have myself. Don’t think for a minute that this is goodbye. NO, this is hello. Hello from Aurelian, not Jake. Jake will always be the performer, he will continue to do so. Because honestly, if I was the best at what I did, when I was completely screwed up, is there any limit to how I can be with both feet on the ground? I think not. I am the most excited I have ever been, other than the birth of my children. So beware, that isn’t me making that noise in the closet or under your bed. This Jake is going to kick the front door in with a gleam in his eye, and snarling lip, heart beating like a drum, but this star won’t come crashing down. I hope to see you all soon.
Aurelian Smith Jr.
Jake “The Snake” Roberts