The SmarK 24/7 Rant for World Championship Wrestling – February 22 1986

The SmarK 24/7 Rant for World Championship Wrestling – February 22 1986

– Thank god, David Crockett is BACK from special assignment.

– First up, the Rock N Roll Express are still after the Midnight Express.

– The Road Warriors v. Bill Mulkey & Carl Styles. Usual blitz from the Warriors as they storm in and press-slam the jobbers. Animal drops an elbow on Styles and then just kills him with a clothesline to set up a flying splash from Hawk and that’s all at 0:43. They really need better generic rock music to overdub the theme songs with.

– Hawk threatens to not only beat the Russians, but DEPORT them. OUCH!

– Tully Blanchard v. Mike Jackson. Two more weeks to go in Tully’s deadline for Dusty to surrender the National title to him, or lose it in the ring. Jackson takes Tully down with a hammerlock and controls with a series of headlocks, and a defensive Tully backs off. Tully shoves him down off a lockup to get him riled up, then offers a bitchslap while giving a break on the ropes. And Jackson of course gets all pissed off while Tully calmly evades him and then slugs him down with a cheapshot. He tosses Jackson and stops for a strut, but Jackson fights in with a sunset flip. Tully pounds him to block and backdrops him, and a snapmare gets two. Chinlock time, but Jackson fights out of it, only to be tripped up to the outside. Back in, Tully hits him with a forearm from the top and we’re back to the chinlock again. Jackson keeps fighting back, but Tully takes him down again for two. Jackson fights him off and slugs his way out of the corner, and Tully is reeling. And now Tully gets really worked up and punches him down, then finishes with the slingshot suplex at 7:59. See, all you have to do is give the right guy some offense and the match is actually a MATCH.

– And now, a moment of silence for the best looking man on the face of the earth, according to himself. Yes, it’s what everyone is waiting for: THE BIG GOLD BELT ARRIVES! Hells yeah! So there you go belt fanboys, 2/22/86 was the first appearance of the best belt in wrestling history. Yes, I said it. Flair’s buildup for the unveiling is awesome, although the closeup reveals that his name is spelled “Rick Flair” on the first ever nameplate. Really, the WWE’s knockoff version still can’t compare to the real thing. Flair finishes with “Now let’s see you bring someone here to follow THAT act, Tony!” because he’s awesome.

– Baron Von Raschke v. Rocky King. I don’t see the Baron following that act, Tony. Usual stuff from the Baron as he chinlocks Rocky and pounds away . Big boot, goosestep, IRON CLAW and we’re done at 3:20.

– Meanwhile, in an empty arena, Gorgeous Jimmy Garvin makes his NWA debut after jumping from World Class and cuts an arrogant heel promo about how great his hair is while Precious sprays air freshener. It’s true, his hair was amazing until he let it go to hell in the Freebird era. Kind of weird to see Garvin playing that heel character when he would become so closely associated with his babyface persona later on.

– Teijho Khan v. George South. Teijho pounds on South and chokes away on the ropes, and a back elbow gets two, to the delight of the heel fans occupying one side of the studio. He finishes with perhaps the worst powerslam in recorded history at 1:53, actually stopping in mid-move as if confused with what to do with the guy.

– Dusty Rhodes rambles about something.

– Ron Garvin v. Bob Owens. Ron gets a hard hiptoss and they get into a slugfest, and that goes badly for Owens. Ron just lays into him in the corner and takes him down with a facelock, then picks him up and chops him down. He ties Owens up with a contorted submission hold, then smacks him around for not fighting back. David’s interpretations of Ron’s actions are pretty funny, as he basically overdubs his own dialogue. Garvin gets some hellish chops and suplexes him into a double-stomp, then goes to a chinlock and just keeps pounding on him. Owens fights back, so Garvin puts his lights out at 4:31.

– In the post-match interview, Garvin indirectly compares Ric Flair to Charles Manson and Adolf Hitler. That’s totally unfair — neither of those guys had a SWEET belt like Flair does.

– World TV title: Arn Anderson v. Denny Brown. The Flair show continues as he does color for this match, classing the joint up a little. Denny wins the battle on the ropes and slugs Arn down, then stays back from him. Arn goes with a headlock, but Denny takes him down and controls with an armbar. Arn breaks by throwing elbows in the corner, but Brown goes back to the armbar again, and we take a break. Back with the armbar, as he holds on for a long while. Ric Flair and Dusty Rhodes both join things at ringside while Arn slugs out of the armbar and holds a bodyscissors. Denny fights up while Flair complains about the loud sorority who is cheering for him. Arn clotheslines Brown on the top rope and rakes the face, then goes back to the bodyscissors and holds him on the mat until getting caught using the ropes. Denny uses that to fight back, slugging AA down, but gets dumped. Denny fights back from the apron and a sunset flip is blocked by Arn’s fist. Denny stubbornly fights on, catching Arn with his head down and backdropping him. Flying forearm gets two. He tries a suplex, but Arn reverses to the gourdbuster to finish at 12:34. Nice finish! Arn and Ric make a move on Dusty, but Magnum TA steps in to prevent it. **3/4

– Ric and Arn get all in Tony’s face, so they roll film of Ron Garvin knocking Flair out during a 60-minute draw, and that gets Flair all worked up, of course.

– The Barbarian v. Kent Glover. Glover tries a headlock, but gets slammed down. Barbarian fights off his attempts to shoulderblock and gets a press-slam, then drops a leg. Backbreaker sets up the flying headbutt to finish at 2:36. Tony notes that Barbarian thinks he’s the strongest wrestler, but “Ron Bass said ‘By Golly I’ll take him on!'” I’d want to see some confirmation of that quote from Bass, because it doesn’t sound like something he’d say.

– The Midnight Express v. Mike Simiani & Larry Clarke. The Express quickly switch off on Simiani and Condrey chops him down and then drops him on the top rope. Eaton elbows him down and follows with a delayed suplex, and it’s back to Dennis. Simiani gets dumped and Cornette waves the belts in his face, to be followed by Bobby Eaton coming off the top with a clothesline. Now that’s just mean. Over to Clarke, who quickly eats a neckbreaker and the flying knee follows. Condrey comes in with the Stroke to finish at 3:07. Sadly, the RNR storm the ring and hit them with their own tennis rackets. Man, sore losers much.

– Tully and JJ let us know that The Four Horsemen will be involved in the Crockett Cup in some combination. So it’s still not official because Ole Anderson is gone from the promotion at this point, but it’s getting there.

– The Rock N Roll Express v. Black Bart & Thunderfoot. Hey, it’s the guys JJ Dillon rejected in favour of Tully Blanchard. He still got the better end of the deal. Ricky holds off the heels with dropkicks, and Robert backdrops Bart out of the corner. Ricky hits him with a stungun, but Thunderfoot comes in with a double axehandle, and Ricky Morton plays Ricky Morton. They work him over in the corner and add a double backdrop, but Ricky staggers over for the tag to Gibson. Noggins are knocked and Bart hits the floor, and the double dropkick finishes Thunderfoot at 2:59. Could have been fun, but it was pretty short.

– Back to the Road Warriors. Animal notes that if Paul Jones keeps talking about them, they’ll take his stable members and “slap their faces like girls”, which produces a funny look on Tony’s face. So, Joe, wanna talk about your apparently domestic abuse issues?

– The Russians continue their boycott of the show, while doing an interview on the show. Damn Commies and their logic. Once again, they demand Magnum defend his US title on TV against Nikita.

– Magnum TA v. Bill Tabb. Wham bam good night Tabb, as he pauses only to dedicate the belly to belly suplex to the Russians. And the brawl is on! Heels and faces alike run out to pull them apart, but only Dusty Rhodes can succeed where an army of jobbers fails. AND WE’RE OUT OF TIME!