D2 Review: Lipstick Jungle

There I was… sitting at the edge of my seat, waiting for the launch of the next generation, the sequel of one of my favorite shows of all time, Sex and the City. The red-carpet barrage of interviews peppered throughout the evenings programs, counting down the minutes. This was the Super Bowl of hype! And like Super Bowl parties, I can see it now…groups of women gathered around a pitchers of martinis in anticipation of soul satisfying sexual power from yet another Sex knock off… only this one is legit. It’s from the same author, so it’s got to have some street cred, right? Uh… maybe not so much.

So as millions of women sat glued to their tv sets and after months of propaganda, the anticipation had finally arrived, Lipstick Jungle was on our television sets. And after all that waiting… we wait… and wait… and wait… will something happen? Some wit? Sarcasm? How about a little humor? And where are all my puns and where the hell is my play on words? Oh… don’t tell me there’s no voice over. Dammit!
The first 10 minutes weren’t captivating enough. Make that 20. Yeah, yeah, yeah, we get it… trying to ramp up the character development, but can you at least pick up the pace? You have a lot riding on this, Ms. Bushnell. I know you’re not the writer of the show, but it’s your name and your brand.

Brooke Shield’s character, Wendy Healy, is the high powered President of Parador Pictures whose day to day activities include the wheeling and dealing of getting DiCaprio in the next film. Since when is that a good thing? I digress from my opinions of Leo’s acting abilities. And not only does she have time to get the kids ready for school, go to high powered luncheons, attend PTA meetings, go house hunting, but she also has time to take strolls through Central Park with her friends and drink champagne on a rooftop overlooking the city. That’s as believable as Rachel Green being a coffee waitress and living in that kick ass loft with Monica. Her husband feels emasculated because he’s not the breadwinner. Man, does she have to do everything?

Kim Raver had time to develop her character on “24″… such the natural segue… from Jack Bauer’s bullet-dodging-taken-hostage love interest to the editor-in-chief of the high society fashion magazine, Bonfire. Actually, both characters are similar, having cheated on their husbands. What is it about Kim that has the two timing look about her? Her character, Nico Reilly, gets a pretty good plot line. She meets a hot 25 year old who follows her into the bathroom and makes out with her, then proceeds to write his number on her leg. Hubba Hubba! This is when the show got good for me. I think that’s the missing element if you’re comparing the show to Sex or Cashmere Mafia. The ability to relate to the characters. That’s what the appeal about Sex and the City was… every episode there was some level that just about every woman could relate to. And until the hot 25 year old followed Nico into the bathroom, I just couldn’t relate.

Lindsay Price’s character, Victory Ford, is the fashionista, and apparently the youngest of the group… which is what I don’t get… I thought they said they were childhood friends. With a 10 year gap? Whatever. I didn’t get that far in their bios, I guess. She’s obviously not a crowd pleaser with her designs at her latest fashion show and is slammed in all the trades. However, Andrew McCarthy, who is horribly miscast as a multi-billionaire… yes, with a “b”, seems to find an interest in her…not her new looks on the runway, more like how she looked on the runway. Has his assistant make his date for her cause he’s too much of a coward to get rejected. Oh, boy… here we go. Once he’s past the fear of rejection, he finally gives her the courtesy to call her himself as well as deliver a billion, yes with a “b”, flowers to her apartment. Who cast Andrew McCarthy? The president of the Pretty in Pink fan club? Or maybe it was Brooke Shield’s character Wendy Healy, if she’s willing to fight for Leo, she can get Andrew McCarthy.

I’m still willing to give Lipstick another shot or two. But if they can’t deliver the witty banter, high fashion and desirable men, I may have to warm up the dvd for some good old fashioned “Sex”.