Leave Your Spandex At the Door 21.02.08

This is Leave Your Spandex @t the Door number 117, breaking the boundaries of fun and common decency, bringing you:

Panel of the Week Voting

Afroican Storm

Green Arrow / Black Canary #5 Remixed

New Avengers #23

Bat-Girl: Barbie Gordon

The X i -Factor #28

Shortbus, cos we all get it in the end

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This week in comics…

Panel of the Week Voting

Starman’s sublime sci-fi musings dominated the charts last week with a 39% against the other four panels.

This week was ripe with potential and I had to shortlist a great deal of great contenders.

TO VOTE AND SEE THE CURRENT WINNER CLICK HERE

The lucky five are:

Panel A
Deadly Kiss of the Black Widow (Amazing Spider-Man #550)

Panel B
‘Honey, I’m Pregnant’ (Green Arrow/Black Canary#5)

Panel C
Original Sin (American Virgin #23)

Panel D
Johnny Storm and Johnny Storm-Hilton (Fantastic Four #554)

Panel E

One Super-Gorilla hitting another on the head with his lover’s brains. Love! (Salvation Run #4)

Afroican Storm

This a courtesy public reassurance message

The above haircut does not actually appear inside the issue.

Green Arrow / Black Canary #5

Dedicated to my pal Matt ‘Starman’ Morrison.

We’ve invited Dr Mid-Nite as a forensics specialist to give us the autopsy on Green Arrow/Black Canary from DC Comics.

While the good Doctor consoles Dinah over her lost personality, Judd takes a long poignant look at Daddy-Son relationships in the DCU. Let’s eavesdrop on Ollie and Batman:


Hmm, looks like some of the dialogue got smudged up.

Before anyone mistakes this parody for mean-spiritedness, I’ll include an unaltered series of panels from later in the same issue.

Judd for the win!

New Avengers #23

This month in New Avengers:

the Street Avengers have been kicked out of their Swanky Sanctum Sanctorum (slash) Starbucks, and are now moving in one of Danny Rand’s appartment.

Let’s review the above page.

Spidey is in regular costume, so we can assume that this title has now caught up with Brand New Day (although it was said in there that Spidey hung up the webs for a month after OMD). That means noone on the team knows his secret identity, yet trust him enough to have him on the team during this highly distrusting period of Skrullness. Spidey currently lives with his Aunt May (who doesn’t know his secret either), but still has a room in the Avengers Appartment (where he will probably have to sleep in his mask, seeing as noone knows his secret identity). Spidey also apparently now remembers House of M (where he was married to Gwen and had a kid), while he still doesn’t remember he was ever married to MJ.

Wolverine also likes to slum it around with this group of people he hardly knows instead of hanging out in his comfy room in the X-Mansion where there actually is food. Unless all this NA crap took place after Messiah Complex and there is no mansion, but then that would place Wolvie off in Russia with his real friends, or in Afghanistan hunting down Mystique, or in Deep Space on the Planet Breakworld, or training a new team of feral mutants for black-ops.

In other words, in the current scheme of things there’s no believable way for either of these solo characters to be in this ‘team’, consisting of… Power-Man and Iron-Fist with DD’s ex girlfriend and Hawkeye.

Oh, and the deaf Echo continues having conversations with guys who either have their back turned on her or are wearing full-face masks.

I think this entire team should be revealed as Skrulls and get it all over with.

The other 20 pages of the issue feature a very slow-moving and faux-emotional scene as Luke Cage learns his wife has decided to register and move into Avengers mansion (because that one never gets attacked by super-villains and is so much safer than living in a normal appartment without other super-heroes.)
They spend a lot of panels looking at each other with hurt expressions, exchanging Bendisisms until the Mighty Avengers show up and retread ground that seems to be exhumed and recovered every second week. How can this be the same guy who is currently doing the best character stuff of his career on Ultimate Spider-man?

The only proper place for this issue is in the Recycling Tank.

2/10

Bat-Girl: Barbie Gordon

Tiny Titans #1 (DC Comics):


Mattel’s newly announced Barbie line
Check the above page for Black Canary/leather biker Barbie, Supergirl Barbie and Wonder Woman Barbie

The X i -Factor #28

The newest issue of X-Factor, post-Messiah Complex.

The cast is getting back together after the tumultuous last few months. One of them is leaving, another is expecting someone new. And all of them get… iPhones?

It starts off as a quirky pop reference, as Siryn is confessing in a chapel

Innocent enough, a passing mention. To think some people take step from this to accuse Marvel of selling out to Big Bucks companies for intrusive product placement in their stories.

Hurm. I guess Peter David is either a big Apple geek or was asked to fill a certain iPhone quota this issue. Boy, I’d sure be pissed off if that happened. And if I was as crazy talented and known for my ironic meta commentary as PAD, I’d be inclined to slip in my opinion on this marketing strategy.

Product Placement as Product Destruction. -Applause-

Shortbus, cos we all get it in the end

Warning: adult content!

Justin Bond and the Hungry Marching Band – In the end

we all bear the scars
yes, we all feign a laugh
we all sigh in the dark
get cut off before we start

and as the first act begins
you realise they’re all waiting
for a fall, for a flaw, for the end

there’s a past stained with tears
could you talk to quiet my fears
could you pull me aside
just to acknowledge that i’ve tried

and as your last breath begins
contently take it in
cause we all get it in
the end

and as your last breath begins
you find your demon’s your best friend
and we all get it in
the end

Source: Closing Scene – SHORTBUS

That’s a wrap for today! I’m waiting your comments and feedback through email to Manolis@gmail.com or through the site’s comments feature

If you self-publish your own comics or represent an Indy comics company, add me to your press release list, and I will run your news in this space every week.

Manolis Vamvounis
a.k.a. Dr. Dooplove

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