The SmarK 24/7 Rant for World Championship Wrestling – March 8 1986

The SmarK 24/7 Rant for World Championship Wrestling – March 8 1986

– Hosted by Tony and David.

– We start with Ron Garvin, who is still chasing Ric Flair and helped Dusty pin him in a tag match according to the footage that started the show. It’s funny how, watching this stuff for the first time, they were doing such an effective job of building up Garvin in the chase of Flair’s title…but who ended up beating Flair for the belt that summer? Speaking of title changes, they hype a major one that happened and the footage is COMING UP.

– Ron Garvin v. Tony Zane. Garvin, apparently pissed off this week, beats on Zane and cranks on a facelock, then stomps him down and applies a torture hold. Techwood Studios seems a lot more brightly lit than usual this week. Garvin tells him to fight back, then smacks him around and boots him down. Backdrop sets up the Hands of Stone to finish at 2:53. Slow motion replays of that finisher are a bad idea.

– Next up, Paul Jones and his slowly emerging moustache, along with the Baron. I knew there was something missing on Jones that I couldn’t place. Baron calls him “Mein Fuhrer” and promises to follow anywhere he leads. I’m sure Jones is flattered to be compared to Hitler. Jones promises a surprising new Army member to deal with the Boogie Woogie problem. I’m pretty sure I know the answer to that one.

– The Barbarian v. Bill Tabb. Big boot, elbow, legdrop, and he tosses Tabb into the fearsome presence of Teijho Khan. Sadly, he has no opportunity to get any damage in. Back in, Barbarian finishes with the diving headbutt at 3:18.

– On the subject of Jimmy Valiant, he’s out to let us know that he’s got the heebie-jeebies (no, really) and he’s sick of Paul Jones and his Europeans.

– Leo Burke v. George South. Hey, it’s Stampede star Leo Burke, cool! Burke tosses South and gets a neckbreaker back in the ring. Leo doesn’t come off too well in Bret Hart’s book, but really who does? Burke gives him the bootlaces and adds a backdrop suplex, but South elbows him down for two. Burke bails and regroups on the floor, and South continues with a backdrop back in the ring. Burke catches a leg lariat, however, and finishes with a kneedrop at 3:38. Not a particularly electric debut for Burke.

– So to the shock of no one, Tully Blanchard has in fact won the National title from Dusty Rhodes.

– Pez Whatley v. Art Prins. Pez works the arm and they slug it out in the corner, which results in Prins going down. Tony and David pretty much ignore the match and talk about the Tully v. Dusty match instead. Gutwrench suplex gets two. The jobber fights back, but Whatley headbutts him down for two. He works on a hammerlock on the mat and gets two. Prins fights back, but Pez dropkicks him and finishes with a flying headbutt at 6:16.

– And now, Pez Whatley gets promo time, which such a rarity that it makes me think my suspicions were correct. But no heel turn as of yet.

– Jim Cornette is out to let us know that the RNR only want to put him in a cage because they’re SCARED of him. And the Express will be #1 in the Crockett Cup.

– The Midnight Express v. Brodie Chase & Mike Simiani. Eaton pounds Simiani down, allowing Cornette to put the quality trash talk on him. Condrey boots him down and Eaton goes up with the flying elbow for two, but picks the guy up by the beard. OUCH. Over to Chase, and Cornette gives HIM the badmouth, too. Eaton tosses the kid, Condrey tosses him back in, and Eaton tosses him back out again. Back in, Eaton slugs him down and they let Simiani back in again, then beat him down and toss him. Eaton adds a neckbreaker on the floor, and back in Eaton suplexes him, then rolls out and high-fives Tony at the announce table. That’s awesome. Back in, they bring Chase into the slaughter again and get a double-team elbow for two. Condrey stomps him down in the corner, into Eaton’s flying kneedrop, and Condrey finishes with The Stroke at 6:20. However, they make the mistake of abusing Randy Anderson, and that brings the Rock N Roll out for a double-dropkick on Cornette. Don’t mess with Pee Wee, bitches!

– National title: Dusty Rhodes v. Tully Blanchard. As promised, the footage. We’re JIP with Tully going after the knee and putting Dusty on the floor. Back in, Tully goes to work on the knee and it’s a Dusty favourite, laying on the mat while the heel works a leglock. Dusty elbows out of it, but the knee gives way and Tully clips it again and gets a spinning toehold this time. He turns it into the figure-four, but Dusty reverses and we take a break. Back with Dusty going for a slam, but the knee gives out and Tully is back on it, and the slingshot suplex gets two. Another try is blocked by Dust, and he comes back with a lariat and the Flip Flop and Fly. Sleeper time, but he releases to go after JJ, who manages to hand Tully a pair of brass knuckles. Dusty ducks it and dumps Tully, but color man Ric Flair puts them back on him, and they do the Randy Savage-Tito Santana ending to give Tully the National title at 7:45. Seriously, this would have been taped like two weeks after Randy Savage used the exact same finish to win the Intercontinental title. That’s just lazy. **1/4 Flair, Blanchard and Anderson all jump Baby Doll after the win, but the Dusty Brigade chases them off.

– Back in the studio, Dusty is FIRED UP, daddy. He starts stripping to show his anger (no, really) and thankfully they cut to a commercial.

– And as predicted by me last week, Magnum TA and the brand spanking new US title belt are here. Any time Nikita wants his title match, the contract is ready. So for those keeping track, that just leaves the tag titles to be re-debuted.

– The Road Warriors v. Carl Styles & Randy Mulkey. Powerslam and big boot from Hawk, Animal adds a press slam and tosses Mulkey across the ring for the tag, and Hawk gives Styles a shoulderblock before they finish him with the Doomsday Device at 1:10.

– Those damn bald foreign Russians are out to answer Magnum’s challenge and issue a further challenge to the Road Warriors…for a CAGE MATCH.

– The Rock N Roll Express v. Bob Owens & Larry Clarke. Robert spends much of the match working on Clarke’s leg, given that Ricky has a broken arm and such. David discounts it as a “minor inconvenience”, but c’mon. So quite a lot of dull leglocks from the Express this time out, as they’re just not that interesting when they’re not getting the shit kicked out of them. Over to Owens and he eats the double dropkick to end it at 4:25.

– And now, finally, some Ric Flair. All the members of “The Three Horsemen” have titles, so he’s more coked up…er…excited than usual. Flair promises to finish Rhodes off for good by taking Baby Doll from him. The rant continues as he tells Paul Ellering that he’s going to have to hold the respirator after Hawk wrestles Flair (BA-ZING!) and that all the pre-teen girls in their training bras will be crying home after he’s done with Ricky Morton. Tell ’em, Ric!

– Jimmy Garvin v. Rocky King. Fun fact: Rocky King would later be one of the parade of lame managers for the Hayes & Garvin version of the Freebirds, as Little Richard Marley. That didn’t work out so well for anyone. Garvin gets a backdrop and drops him on the top rope, and follows with a gutwrench suplex for two. In between beating on King he calls out Wahoo McDaniel, then adds a powerslam for two. Brainbuster ends it at 2:08. Good debut for Garvin.

– Black Bart v. Dr. X. I have to question Dr. X’s credentials. Did they allow him to go through medical school wearing a mask? Or is it an honorary doctorate? Anyway, Bart slams him and drops him on the top rope, then stomps away. Bart’s current target is apparently Sam Houston’s Mid-Atlantic Heavyweight title. That’s how you know it’s time to change promotions. Bart drops knees on X’s neck and takes him down with a lariat, then finishes with the top rope legdrop at 3:20.

– The Road Warriors promise to win the Crockett Cup and beat people up. Done and done!

– Back to Magnum and his new bling, and he STILL wants Koloff. He’ll even waive his half of the money if need be.

– Baron Von Raschke v. Mike Jackson. Jackson evades him and dropkicks him into the corner to start, and a cross body out of the corner gets two. Jackson with the armbar and another dropkick, and he stays on the arm. Jackson was a really weird choice for the Jobber Push, as he was small, scrawny and balding. Baron takes him down and drops an elbow to halt the offense, then backdrops him and follows with a hiptoss. Baron chokes away on the ropes and Jones adds some shots with the cane, and the Iron Claw finishes at 4:45.

– JJ and Tully promise Dusty that they’re DONE with him. Never again will Dusty wrestle for that belt. And we’re out.