– See, I’m not playing favourites.
– Live from Chicago, IL.
– Your hosts are Tony, Larry and Mike.
– We start with the nWo (and Dennis Rodman) doing the cliché limo entrance. I probably missed it in an earlier episode, but the Outsiders now have the redesigned tag team titles that replaced the broken one they had been carrying around for months. So they begin the build to Hogan & Rodman v. Luger & Giant at Bash at the Beach, which at the time did a pretty decent buyrate so there’s certainly someone out there who wanted to watch Rodman wrestle. Dennis shows his mic skills by calling out “Lex Luthor”. Good start to that feud! Maybe next he’ll set his sights on the Joker.
Mortis v. Glacier
The brawl is on right away, as Mortis attacks on the floor and tries a fameasser on the stairs, but Glacier crotches him instead and then kicks him down. Into the ring, Mortis stomps him down in the corner while Mike Tenay notes that Glacier needs someone to watch his back. So that’s who you can blame for Ernest Miller. Top rope fameasser gets two for Mortis and Wrath gets involved, but Glacier whips them into each other and finishes with the Kryonic Kick at 2:15. Too short to be worth anything. 1/2* And yet again out of the crowd comes Ernest Miller to clean house. He gets a pretty good reaction at this point, before everyone realized how much he sucked.
– Mean Gene brings out Medusa, who was forced into “retirement” at the Bash the night before. She’s tearful and heartbroken, but she’d be back out of retirement, so don’t cry Medusa fans! I think she had her boobs done again while in “retirement” judging by how big they got when she was part of Macho Man’s skank patrol.
Dean Malenko v. Chavo Guerrero
Eddie’s not available, I guess, so Chavo gets to face the wrath of Dean instead. Eddie cost Dean the US title to Jeff Jarrett the week before, and he’s a mite pissed. Chavo attacks to start, actually, and pounds Malenko down into a headscissors, but Dean dodges a dropkick and flattens him. He follows with a clothesline in the corner and starts abusing the leg, yanking him to the floor and dropkicking the knee against the railing. Back in, Chavo gets a sunset flip for two, but Malenko clobbers him with a clothesline and follows with a delayed suplex for two. Moonsault press gets two. Piledriver and Texas Cloverleaf finish at 3:33. Fun little match, as Chavo was game. **
La Parka v. Super Calo
Parka pounds away in the corner to start and kicks Calo down for two, but Calo monkey-flips him and takes him down with an armdrag. Parka bails, so Calo follows with a tope suicida that puts him into the second row. Can’t fault him for effort there. Back in, Parka kicks him down for two. Whiplash slam gets two. Parka goes up with a moonsault that misses, and Calo comes back with a bulldog and a rana for the surprise pin at 3:38. But then the awesome part is Parka attacking him after the match and hitting him with a plastic chair, BREAKING it. *1/2
– Time for Luger and Giant to rebut the nWo’s earlier comments. Mean Gene notes that the Hogan faction is saying the tag match is a no-go. I didn’t actually get that out of the interview, but Rodman seemed like he was interviewing on a different planet or something anyway. Giant is all “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA CHOKESLAM!” (no, really) and Luger interprets this as a challenge for a tag match, TONIGHT. Yeah, that’ll totally happen.
The Amazing French Canadians v. Harlem Heat
They attack Booker to start and toss him for some abuse from Col Parker. Back in, Jacques whips Pierre into him, and Pierre follows with an elbow from the second rope. Jacques with the clothesline and some trashtalk, but Booker comes back with a flying forearm on Pierre. I should note that the Canadians are dressed as close to the Quebecers as they legally can get away with. Stevie gets the lukewarm tag and boots everything that speaks French, but Jacques hits Booker with the boot and gets two. The Heat finish with a double-team high kick, however. Bit of a trainwreck. 1/2*
– More WCW stupidity, as JJ Dillon reverses the Heat’s #1 contender win over the Steiners at the Bash, thus screwing over the paying customer yet again. JJ was in such a thankless and idiotic role as the figurehead who was always getting outsmarted by the nWo. Vincent comes out to rub it in, but the Heat wallop him. BLACK ON BLACK VIOLENCE! Where’s Cops when you need it? That’s begging for someone to get tazed!
Cruiserweight title: Syxx v. Rey Mysterio
Faceplant from Syxx to start and we suddenly stop for fireworks. Syxx chops Rey down in the corner, and Hall drops some cigar ashes on him. What a class act. Syxx with the broncobuster while Hall and Nash mock him from the outside. Michinoku Driver and Syxx goes up, but misses a senton splash and Rey takes him down with a flying headscissors. Rey puts him on the floor with another headscissors and follows with a somersault plancha over the corner, which is pretty awesome. Back in, Rey goes up with the West Coast Pop, but the nWo runs in and Syxx finishes with the crossface chickenwing at 4:55. ** Now, you’d think that three dirtbag heels beating up on one sympathetic babyface cruiserweight, while SMOKING, would draw some boos, but the heel fans instead cheer them on. So this leads to an interview with Randy Savage. DDP comes out to challenge Savage and Hall to a tag match at the Bash at the Beach, insinuating that Sting would be his partner, although it would actually turn out to be Curt Hennig.
Ultimo Dragon v. Chris Jericho
Did I miss Dragon’s TV title reign or is he just not wearing the belt? Jericho with a suplex and dropkick for two, and he goes to a surfboard. A quick check of the PWI Almanac reveals that Regal was champion during June. OK then. Jericho clotheslines him on the top and dropkicks him off the apron, then follows with a super-weak dropkick off the apron to the floor. Back in, Jericho with a lariat for two. They fight to the top and Jericho tries the superplex, but Dragon counters and cradles for two. A forward roll into a rana gets two. Another one is blocked by Jericho’s double-powerbomb, and that gets two. Pinfall reversal and they trade two counts, but Dragon kills him dead with the tiger suplex at 4:39. Good stuff. *** People still didn’t buy Dragon at the level of his push at that point, but it’s WCW so what do you expect?
– Roddy Piper wants to know what’s up with Ric Flair (and he’s also a bit thrown off by the VERY pro-heel crowd), but Flair insists everything’s cool. This whole thing ended up going nowhere.
Buff Bagwell & Scott Norton v. Jeff Jarrett & Steve McMichael
Norton chops away on Mongo to start and follows with an elbow in the corner, then throws knees in the corner, but Mongo takes him down with a bulldog. He follows with a three-point clothesline and brings Jarrett in, but Norton overpowers him with ease. He tries Snake Eyes, but Jarrett escapes and dropkicks him into the corner before getting caught in a bearhug and brought back to the nWo corner. Over to Buff, who elbows JJ down and follows with a standing dropkick. He blocks a sunset flip and stops to pose, but Jeff comes back with an atomic drop and neckbreaker. He chokes Buff out on the ropes and does some strutting, but Jarrett’s the only heel in the building not getting cheered tonight. Buff charges and hits boot, but Norton comes in with a backbreaker and Buff splashes Jarrett for two. Buff gets in Mongo’s face and draws him in, and FINALLY Mongo turns on him with the piledriver, drawing the biggest reaction of the night. Jarrett is done, and Buff pins him at 7:00. And so ends that awful chapter in the Four Horsemen’s history. *1/2
Hulk Hogan & Dennis Rodman v. Lex Luger & The Giant
This’ll TOTALLY happen, dude. Call your friends, as Bobby would say! Giant immediately tries to chokeslam Rodman, with Dennis having no clue how to take the move, but Hogan breaks it up and Rodman lays out Giant with the title belt…and here comes the nWo for the “finish” less than 30 seconds into the “match”. The faces get sprayed, garbage gets tossed in, and there’s no Sting to make the save. I don’t know which is worse — WWF advertising main events for RAW and then delivering something else, or WCW advertising main events for Nitro and then delivering nothing.
