– Your host is Tony Schiavone.
– Tully Blanchard v. Don Turner. Tully offers a handshake and then slaps Turner, because he’s Tully. It’s a life lesson, really. Tully takes him down, but the crowd chants for Dusty and that gets him flustered. It’s a babyface crowd this week, I see. The great thing about this show is that you just never knew. Tully works on the arm with a hammerlock, but Turner forces him into the corner to break. Back to the corner, but Tully just destroys him with knees this time, then powerslams him and drops an elbow. We hit the chinlock, and the slingshot suplex finishes at 5:00. Again, talk about this group called “The Four Horsemen” from Tony, although it’s still an informal grouping without Ole around.
– Tully cuts a funny promo about how even though people might not be the most skilled, they still get in there and fight you…except for THAT guy he just fought, who embarrassed himself and his family because he’s such a bum.
– Jimmy Valiant v. Bob Owens. Jimmy with the hiptoss and he starts working on the arm, stopping to pull the ref’s hair while cutting a promo on Paul Jones. He tosses Owens and sends him into the ringpost, and back in for the elbow and elbow to finish at 2:24.
– Magnum once again calls out Nikita Koloff to sign the damn contract for the US title. I wonder if Nikita’s fairly extended absence during this time fits in with his story about Vince trying to lure him to the WWF to headline Wrestlemania 2 against Hulk Hogan?
– Gorgeous Jimmy Garvin v. Bill Mulkey. Kinda funny seeing Garvin obviously grooving in time to “Sharp Dressed Man” with some generic rock music playing here. Garvin hits him with a pair of knees, into a powerbomb (!), which looked more like a gutwrench suplex gone wrong. But still, cool. Kneelift puts Mulkey down while Garvin wonders aloud about the whereabouts of Wahoo McDaniel, and he drops Mulkey on the top rope. Mulkey fights back, but Garvin just KILLS him with a stiff forearm and finishes with the brainbuster at 2:15. Ouch, check the ring for teeth after that shot.
– And now Baby Doll gets promo time. On behalf of Wahoo, who is coming. Well, if Baby Doll says it, it must be true.
– Jim Cornette joins us for an extended rant on nothing in particular, leading to his introduction of …
– The Midnight Express v. Phil Brown & Lee Peak. Hey, a new jobber, cool. Dennis snapmares Peak around the ring and stomps on his face, but he’s already ugly so that’s no big deal. Bobby in with the elbow and flying elbow (nearly hitting the lights on the way down), and they let Brown give it a go. Cornette, on commentary, does a running bit where he can’t remember Brown’s name and it’s really funny as he finds new ways to avoid saying it. Bobby uses Brown to shine his boots and Condrey waits for instruction from Jim. “Go for the time limit draw!” is Cornette’s reply. This is so funny. Eaton wtih the backbreaker on Peak and Condrey works the arm and rubs his face in the mat. Poor Tony is literally unable to get more than two words in a row. I have no idea how he’s not losing it. Eaton dumps Peak and Condrey tosses him back in, so they do the riff where they throw him in and out to torture him. Back in, Eaton gets one and then picks him up. Back to “Phil Whats-His-Name” and the Rocket Launcher puts him out for good. Awesome squash. They should have kept the titles on them forever and ever.
– And now, a boring fake press conference to announce the Jim Crockett Sr. Memorial Cup Tag Team tournament. Bill Apter, with hair, announces the top ten seeds:
1. The Road Warriors
2. Dusty & Magnum
3. The Midnight Express
4. Ric Flair & Arn Anderson
5. Rick Martel & Dino Bravo
6. The Rock N Roll Express
7. Tiger Mask & Giant Baba
8. The Russians
9. The Sheepherders
10. Ted Dibiase & Steve Williams
Well sounds like a hell of a tournament. Bill Watts immediately announces that Ric Flair is OUT of the tournament, and will defend the title against Dusty Rhodes. So Tully replaces Flair, and Ron Garvin replaces Dusty.
– Back in the studio, Arn Anderson decides to man up and defend his belt on TV.
– World TV title: Arn Anderson v. Mike Jackson. The jobber push continues for some weird reason. Arn goes for the lockup, but gets into a slugfest instead of the clean break. Jackson loses that one and Arn offers him a chance to walk away, but he declines. Arn grabs the headlock, but Jackson takes him down with a flying headscissors, and AA hits the floor to regroup. Back in, Arn starts working on the arm, but Jackson reverses to a takedown and Arn has to back off again. The crowd is just all over Arn this week, which is a lot of fun to hear. Jackson takes him down with a headlock. Arn escapes with a leapfrog, but Jackson takes him down with the headlock again and the crowd gets louder and louder. Wherever they found this group, they should use them again. We take a break and return with Jackson trying the backslide, then switching to small package for two, and Arn bails again. Back in, Jackson with the lockup, but Arn finally gets his cheapshot out of the corner and takes over. He slugs Jackson down and gives him the bootlaces, but Jackson fights back until Arn cheapshots him and chokes him down on the ropes. He goes to the arm as the crowd just refuses to die down, and Jackson can’t reverse out of the armbar. They play some chess as they counter each other’s armbars, but Jackson tries a leapfrog and lands on his bad arm. Arn slams him on the arm and goes up to finish, but Jackson moves and makes the comeback. Some one-armed punches and a backdrop get two, but a blind charge meets elbow and Arn ends it with the gourdbuster at 11:51. They seem to be building somewhere with Jackson, but I know in retrospect it didn’t go anywhere for him, so I’m curious where this is leading now. ***1/4
– Dusty Rhodes accuses the heels of running around with his titles. I love shoot comments that aren’t supposed to be shoot comments. He promises that if he has to take his clothes off and go buck naked to beat Flair, he will. Well, thanks for that image, Dusty.
– Jimmy Garvin continues calling out the Chief, and we get a video package in response. Yeah, that’ll show him!
– The Rock N Roll comes out to offer their take on the tournament seeds. Sadly, I don’t speak mumbling dumbshit, so I can’t translate what Robert Gibson says, but Ricky still wants Ric Flair.
– Manny Fernandez v. Tony Zane. Zane starts with the headlock, but Manny hiptosses him and adds a slam, into the armbar. He drops a knee and goes back to the arm, then fakes Zane out with a bodypress out of the corner. He puts him down with a chop and follows with a back elbow out of the corner, and the Flying Burrito finishes at 2:47.
– So now it’s Tully and Arn with more promo time together. Hey, they’d probably make a pretty good tag team, they should consider doing it on a full time basis! Baby Doll comes out and challenges JJ Dillon on the spot, however. “For WHAT?” Tully inquires in a hilarious moment. JJ is delighted to accept and runs into the ring, but of course it’s a setup by America’s Team, and we have an impromptu tag match. Magnum hits Arn with the belly to belly and Dusty jumps off the second rope and tries to break his leg! And then they try the same thing with Tully, too. What kind of message is that sending to the youth watching this show? Breaking legs is NOT OK. Unless you’re a heel, in which case it’s cool.
– Jimmy Valiant and his good friend Manny Fernandez thrown down the challenge to Paul Jones and his army.
– Ron Garvin v. Kent Glover. Garvin beats the hell out of Glover right out of the gate and suplexes him into the torture hold, then headbutts him into the corner and chops away. He brings him out with a hiptoss, then rides him down to the mat. He pounds away in the corner with some absolutely vicious chops, and another hiptoss follows. He stretches Glover on the mat again, and Hands of Stone ends it at 4:33.
– And more from Tully & Arn, as JJ is outraged that someone would try to set him up. Tully gives Dusty points for creativity, but minus several million for not actually breaking Arn’s leg.
– Next up, the Russians are INSULTED by Magnum’s contract offer. The Kremlin would never accept it, so no deal. And the Road Warriors? Road WIMPS is more like it. Oh, TAG. The Kremlin needs better writers.
– Black Bart v. Carl Styles. Bart gets a quick slam and works on the arm. Texas Compactor finishes at 4:24. Look out, Sam Houston!
– Ron Garvin and Magnum TA cut a promo to end it this week.
Fun show! See you next time.
