My DVR pooped the bed and didn’t tape the first 7 minutes of Smackdown, so I’m not quite sure why Ric Flair is in the building, why Vickie Guererro can use him in a match, or why he has to actually do it. I come in just as Ric Flair is running down Edge and Vickie is trying to come in and say “HOW DARE YOU” too soon.
Also, a correction, I’d asked Matt Michaels to post 10 Thoughts on Smackdown for me last week. I said he didn’t do it but it turns out he he actually did and I’m just dumb.
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1) Do we file Jesse and Festus under “Vince loves rednecks” or “Vince loves retards”? I could go either way. Do we have to create a new category of “Vince loves Rain Man”? I’m torn on this. If Festus hears a phone ring, does he freak out? Am I dating myself by remembering when phones used to “ring” instead of phones making fake electronic ringing noises? Do little kids know why we call them “ring tones”? These are the things I think about because of this column.
2) I guess Batista did, in fact, realize that beating up on the US Champion is worthless without winning the title. His two victories over MVP were apparently enough to earn him a title shot.
3) I may have mentioned this before, but does it seem somewhat unacceptable to have commercial breaks in between matches on a pre-taped show? I mean, I understand you have to do it in some places when you have an extra long match. So far tonight there have been two matches and BOTH had a commercial break in the middle. As an aside, God bless DVR.
4) Batista blocked the low blow. That might be the smartest thing I’ve ever seen a wrestler do. For the first time a wrestler dropping to his knees and dramatically bringing his arm back was picked up on by his opponent
5) The count-out finish to the US Title match was perfect. The only problem with finishing with a count-out these days is that 99% of the time, the referees completely ignore the 10-count, so when they actually DO count someone out, it seems weird and random.
6) Rocky Johnson and Peter Maivia are being inducted into the Hall of Fame by the Rock. Should we start rumors about his possible role at Wrestlemania now or wait a bit. Let’s start now. “The Rock’s going to run-in on the Big Show/Mayweather match.” There… start spreading the news.
7) Kim Kardashian being at Wrestlemania almost makes me not want to order it. I hate almost all reality shows, but I REALLY hate the “pick some pampered rich whore and show their lives” show more than the rest of them. This goes for Kimora Simmons, Tori Spelling, and other ones that I’m surely forgetting. I hate that someone is actually giving her more money and my PPV purchase is indirectly going to fund it.
8) During the “went on way too long” bikini segment I realized I’m behind on knowing who the Smackdown Divas are. I don’t know who three of them are: the brunette who isn’t Victoria, the roller skating chick, and the girl with the porn star blonde hair. However, if she’s a porn star, please let me know because hot-damn.
9) Michael Cole said “A lightbulb went off in the head of Chuck Palumbo two weeks ago.” Apparently it said “Undertaker isn’t using the American Badass gimmick anymore. It’s a good gimmick. I’ll take it.” Apparently something else went off recently as he was decidedly jobbed out to Kane. Has there been more drug test suspensions announced recently?
10) In a really bad sign for Edge’s title reign, he pinned the Undertaker pretty much cleanly with the Spear. This match didn’t really work for me for any sort of build-up, but good on Edge for getting the pre-title loss pin on the Undertaker. I’m sure that will help him sleep at night.
