Alan Rudolph's Barn Of The Naked Dead Special Edition – DVD Review

Film, Reviews

barnofnakeddead
Available at Amazon.com
There’s nothing I like better then some old school horror that aims to not only scare me, but to make me feel uncomfortable. Usually those films include good scares, a little nudity, and lots of blood along with some creative villains and kill scenes. I’d rather creatively kill myself then actually watch this film ever again.


Three pretty young women are out on their own and on their way to a gig out in Las Vegas. Nothing to be had but good times and fun all around. That is until their station wagon breaks down and they’re simply stuck in the middle of nowhere. Luckily for them, Andre happens along and let’s them know he can help them. He is helpful and strong, not to mention that he’s not too bad on the eyes and any help he can give them will be greatly appreciated.


The girls head back to Andre’s house with him so help can be located, but things don’t seem quite right. Andre is acting rather strange and there’s also a cougar locked up in a cage next to his barn. It doesn’t take long for them to snoop around and see many other young women like themselves chained up in the barn and trapped like wild animals. Andre goes ballistic and decides to lock them up as well considering all “animals” must be trained. At least that is what his missing father would want his son to do, and that is what he tells one of the girls who uncannily looks like his mother. Things couldn’t possibly get stranger, could they?


Oh my God!


Talk about your bad films and your just absolutely awful looking films. I don’t care if this was the seventies or not; this was just absolutely retarded. For a while it had a really cool creepy feel about it that made it seem like other great horror flicks of the seventies and early eighties. Stuff like Halloween, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, and The Hills Have Eyes come to mind right away. Those films look old, have great music, and an awesome look about them that just screams scary from the word “go!” Barn Of The Naked Dead? Not so much.


It is one of those films that you would take and enjoy as a drinking, but it’s even hard to decipher how the drinking game would work. Barn Of The Naked Dead…lots of nudity right? The first rule in the drinking game is going to be to take a shot every time you see a pair of breasts. Okay, I’m waiting. Waiting. Waiting…THERE ARE SOME, take a shot! And then the film is over and no one is drunk. Yeah, I’d count maybe thirty seconds of nudity total. Not that it is what I was waiting for, but it is rather stupid to include the word “naked” in your film’s title and then not even deliver at all.


It isn’t scary and just isn’t good period. It is quite laughable at how predictable it is, but that can be looked past because this was twenty-four years ago. Predictability wasn’t really a problem back then. The monster and the awful scares are even funnier though you just can’t take the film seriously ever. I’m not sure it is meant to be taken in a serious manner, but still.


The film is shown in Anamorphic Widescreen format and it looks like a film shot in 1974, simple enough. It is grainy and too bright when it is daylight and too dark when it is night time. Not so good.

The film is heard in what appears to be stereo sound, but I’m not totally sure. Doesn’t sound good anyway.

Andrew Prine Interview – This close to thirty minute interview in which the lead character Andre (now in his seventies) sits down and simply discusses the film and how it is finally coming out on DVD. Everything from the numerous titles the film has had all the way up to the mutant is discussed. Nothing of much interest. He also reads the piracy warning when the DVD starts up in a very odd and “reading” way.

Gore Beat – Ok, I’m not really sure what this is supposed to be, but it seems like interviews (including plenty with John Landis (?)), film clips, wrestling, night clubs, and other random silliness. It actually clocks in at right under an hour if you can last long enough to watch it all.

Trailers – This is a single two minute and forty second trailer for other releases from Legend House. I’m not sure what they are, but that’s what this is.


Barn Of The Naked Dead is horrible, stupid, ignorant, boring, and just downright insane. And no, none of that is falsely building it up as a “yet still enjoyable popcorn flick.” The only thing this DVD would be good for is skeet shooting, playing Frisbee with, or using as a discus. No I take that back, this DVD can be used for anything at all in this world as long as you don’t place it in your home entertainment system and actually watch it. My God, this is just dumb and one of the biggest wastes of my life in quite some time.

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Legend House presents Alan Rudolph’s Barn Of The Naked Dead Special Edition. Directed by: Alan Rudolph. Starring: Andrew Prine, Manuela Thiess, Sherry Alberoni, Gyl Roland. Running time: 85 minutes. Rating: R. Released on DVD: January 29, 2008. Available at Amazon.com