People dressed in outrageous monster costumes beating each other down in a wrestling ring? If that first sentence didn’t hook you instantly….well, look anyways!
What is Kaiju Big Battel?
Kaiju Big Battel is the epic struggle of good versus evil. Throughout earth’s existence Kaiju have roamed and laid waste to civilizations and economies, look at George Bush. In recent years however a highly ranking staff from the UN made a division called the KRC, or Kaiju Regulatory Commission. Their duty was to monitor the happenings of Kaiju Battles, to try and stop them when occurred, and to evacuate any civilians in the Danger Zone.
Who is Kaiju Big Battel?
Dr.Cube’s Posse
Dr.Cube’s Posse is by far the most dangerous threat in all of Kaiju. It’s leader, Dr. Cube himself, was once a KRC Commissioner turned diabolical mad scientist. With cutting edge technology he has amassed legions of brainwashed minions and several loyal Kaiju like:
Gomi-Mon – a living breathing toxic dump heap
Napalean – a gargantuan monster that uses it’s extreme size for every advantage
SDS 1 – A failed Nazi war machine made in 1944, Super Dimensional Slug 1 was found in 2002 deep in the caverns of Cube’s fortress. The creature can move quite fast or numbingly slow, depending on his RC Batteries.
Hell Monkey – A daemon from hell brought forth by Dr. Cube, one of his highest ranking minions.
The Rouges
The Rouges are your standard free lance kaiju in the Battel, sometimes they fight well other times they fight poorly. But one thing is for sure, they always fight for themselves. Some kaiju in the Rogues:
Call-Me-Kevin: CMK has lost every match he ever participated in, except one, the one he won the KBB Title in.
Unibouzu: Uni has been a constant threat in the Big Battel main event scene and loves to show off moves including moon saults from the top of the Kaiju Danger Cage.
Kung Fu Chicken Noodle: KFCN, former KBB champ, was once a factory canned good worker, until he was caught in the machine and processed to his current form. The Kung Fu master has garnered a great fighting ability over the past Fightos.
Team Space Bug
TSB is led by Uchu Chu and hail from the far reaches of space in search of Royal Jelly Space Bug wants to claim ownership of the world. TSB has also increased their size over the years to include Mung Wun, a female insect-oid. Mota Naru, an atomic fire ant. The Swarm, hundreds and hundreds of Mung Wun’s offspring. And the late Sky Deviler.
The Heroes
With all this madness there have to be SOME good kaiju right? Right! These Kaiju have sworn to protect Earth from Dr.Cube and the others. Our heroes consist of: American Beetle, a champion boxer. Robox, a environment friendly robot. Neo Teppen, a young new commer but has proved to be quite the strong ally.
So now that you have a basic understanding of the Kaiju Big Battel world, lets get down to the DVD!
We start off with our commentators sitting at a desk cluttered with vinyl Kaiju figures. Our main host, Louden Noxious welcomes us and introduces the other two as Referee Jingi and on color commentary (even though that color always seems to be green) Dino Kang Jr. They toss up their opinions on the card and we get to the action.
Soup vs Sandwich:
Kung Fu Chicken Noodle vs Club Sandwich
The two foods try to stare the other down but both holds their ground. That is until Club Sandwich smashes his club against Noodle to bring him down. Our soup can combatant rolls his way back to Sandwich and knocks him over. With the aid of his baker, Sandwich is able to recover and splashes Soup in the corner. As Jingi the ref aids Soup, Sandwich grabs a building and begins rotating, finally hitting Soup in the head (well he doesn’t have a head but, you know what I mean). Sandwich begins his accent up the turnbuckle and leaps off for a splash and gets the win.
Winner: Club Sandwich
Golden Banana Award:
Los Planatos vs Mota Naru and Sky Devlier Junior
Louden Noxious presents the award to Los Planatos and the Space Bugs go ballistic! Dino Kang Jr. is there to hand over the award but Sky Devlier rips not only the award from Dino Kang, but his arm too! A brawl ensues and the match is made official.
One of the Plantain twins Russian leg sweeps Mota Naru onto a building in a great spot. However Mota recovers and power bombs the poor plantain, meanwhile Sky Deviler has the other plantain brother in a half crab. Team Space Bug is in total control at this point with a spear to one plantain in the corner by Devlier and a choke slam to the other by Mota Naru.
Almost as quick as their dominance was made, Sky Deviler turns on Mota with a shove and a big space bug middle finger. While the two space bugs battle one another the Plantains buy a bucket of popcorn and feast on it. Deviler goes up top and delivers his finishing move, the swanton bomb off the 2nd rope and tosses Mota over the top and onto the outside.
The Plantains know it’s the best time to strike and each grab a factory pipe and begin putting the hurt on Sky Deviler and a great double drop kick sending Deviler into a turnbuckle. A double clothesline sees a repeat for Deviler. Followed by a few assisted dropkicks. The double team continues with two back to back Hardy Boy like moves in the corner that ends with an amazing double somersault that goes across the ring and ends in a spear.
The two plantains reach inside the mouth of the downed Devlier and retrieve the Golden Banana Award.
Winners: Pablo and Pedro – Los Planatos
3 Way Fray:
American Beetle vs Dusto Bunny vs Mung Wun
Right off the bat Mung Wun slams Bunny onto a building, but the dusty hero fights back with KENTA style kicks and punches and down goes Mung Wun. American Beetle and Dusto begin fighting each other, it is every kaiju for itself after all. Beetle gets the advantage with strikes but Dusto comes back. The two begin a power lock but Dusto, thinking ahead of Beetle, dropkicks him down.
Beetle regains himself and slides Bunny’s face along the top rope, all while leaving patches of poof behind. Beetle climbs up the top rope and leaps off with a bulldog onto Bunny. Meanwhile, Mung Wun has just given birth to a glowing egg. Beetle picks it up and thinks of it as his own, however Uchu Chu comes running out and taking it for himself. The two begin fighting over it and Mung Wun leaves with her egg.
Winner: No contest
Kaiju Big Battel Championship:
Uchu Chu (c) vs Dr.Cube
Cube sends in his minions after Uchu Chu yet he dispatches them all with ease. Cube finally gets in the ring but pulls out a cellphone, Motorola or Sprint cannot be found. Almost instantly a new wrestler comes out, Super Akuma (no, not Gran Akuma). Cube hands him a very large check for his services. But wait, Uchu Chu gives him a big bag of money for his services. Akuma agrees to Uchu Chu. Cube brings out an even bigger check but Akuma drop kicks it into Cube.
Both Uchu Chu and Akuma begin double teaming Cube. Chu takes off the Cube’s helmet to show is scared and decaying face. Double power bomb and out goes Cube from the ring and into the Danger Zone. Akuma on the apron and dives off but Cube moves away and lands onto Uchu Chu. Cube heads to the backstage area as Uchu Chu and Akuma begin duking it out. Akuma begins destroying Uchu Chu with a bit of ease, a leg drop from the top rope and a devastating DDT. ‘Chu is set up on the top rope and gets a building to the face, but reverses into a powerbomb roll up for a near fall.
Uchu Chu power bombs him and impressively, gets Akuma back up for a second power bomb. Cube comes back out with a ladder. He tosses it onto Chu and slams it again on him. Cube gets Uchu Chu in a tree of woe, and lays the ladder onto him and dropkicks it into the Space Bug’s face. Akuma begins some of the more impressive ladder hits of the match: leaping off of cube’s back and into the ladder onto Uchu Chu and then slamming the ladder onto the fallen Cube.
‘Chu nails an impressive standing moon sault and goes over to Akuma who is scaling the turnbuckle, leaps over him and power bombs him through an oil factory. Quickly, the KBB Commissioner interrupts the fighto via satellite and tells Dr. Cube and all the other Kaiju bullies that the Heroes are back in full force.
Afterwards the Heroes hit the ring and celebrate, dawning the return of Silver Potato. One of the greatest Kaiju Heroes of all time. A video package begins showing his accomplishments and highlights, while cutting in to show the Heroes beating on Dr. Cube.
Winner: No Contest
After the show, Louden Noxious and the others are marking out over their Commissioner is back and that Silver Potato has returned. Roll Credits. The Credits are accompanied by the Kaiju entrances, and a musical number by Piebald (my favorite band) called American Hearts.
Comments/Notes/Etc:
Positives:
+ The Humor is quite hilarious, espcially if you’re a fan of the Godzilla movies.
+ Piebald. The band has a dance off with the monsters which is some great stuff.
+ The entertainment value. The matches themselves might not be ROH quality, or even Chikara quality. But could you really expect a 5 star Bryan Danielson/McGuinness match between a guy in a can of soup against a guy in a sandwich costume?
Negatives:
– Some of the commercials they added in are a bit odd, though some extremely funny and pointless.
– Not enough Fightos (matches in KBB), which could explain the reason behind their new DVD: More Better Fighto.
Overall: This is a great introduction to the world of KBB, as being their first DVD, shows you a few matches and gets you involved in the story lines. However their 2nd DVD, The Shocking Truth is far superior in every aspect.
You can get this DVD and others, and even a Sky Deviler action figure, at the Kaiju Mall at www.kaiju.com!
