This is Leave Your Spandex @t the Door number 119, bringing the joy of exposed cartoon genitalia and animated same-sex intercourse to kids all around the world.
• BUFFY Panel of the Week Voting
• Watchmen Movie Designs: Schumacher Would Be Proud
• Talking with Barry Levine
• The Case of the Seven-Breasted Hermaphrodite Priapic Reptilian God/dess
• A Public Health Warning Announcement
• Donna Troy Cry Me a River
• Marvel Finally Responds To Mary Jane Laundry Scandal
• Official Kids Handbook of the Marvel U
• Logan #1 spoilers
• Jack and the Bruised Beanstalk
• Filthy Asgardians
• Generic Marvel Recap Page Template
• Wolverine: Some Assembly Required
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This week in comics…
BUFFY Panel of the Week Voting
Week 9 was a slow voting poll, with a winner barely scraping through, Incredible Herc’s Hot Damn Evil half-brother Ares with a 30%
This week, there’s hardly a fair competition for POTW with the shocker opening of Buffy the Vampire Slayer Season 8 #12 from Dark Horse Comics. Although I did have the urge to pit it against the ending of Logan #1, I decided to simply honor Buffy#12 with a tribute poll.
Don’t open the link if you still want to avoid SPOILERS from the startler of this issue!
Our question: What was your favourite reaction to #12?
CLICK HERE TO SEE THE PANELS AND VOTE!
For a detailed review of this issue, read more from our own Steve Murray
Capsule Reviews
Reviews for DC comics from last week here : Midnighter shuts up, the Atom examines deep inside himself, Karate Kid is redubbed Infectuous Lad, Raven goes Emo, Donna Troy cries a river, Nightwing frames Jimmy Olsen, Batman fades to white, Booster and Blue rule the day, and Wonder-Woman jumps out of a cake?!?
While, from Marvel comics shipping this week: A raccoon will fly, Spider-Girl is rated Mint, Johnny scores a HOT date, Cap chases his shadow, Hulk gets the couch, an Avengers kills himself -twice-, Rictor suffers a crotch shot, Jennifer Kale loses her top, Logan joins Osama, the Sentry is beside himself, Nighthawk gets more than he bargained for, and Psylocke with Sabretooth get the love bite!
Watchmen Movie Designs: Schumacher Would Be Proud
So, the Watchmen movie character photos have been released. Was there anyone out there who wasn’t scared from the odd parallels to Schumacher’s Batman movies?
I mean we do have it all:
-Plastic domino masks with black painted eye shadow underneath for that extra ‘brooding avenger of the night’ feel
-Anatomically impossible fake kevlar abs chiseled on the costume
-Ill-fitting masks that just look ridiculous
— and of course… NIPPLES, shaped on the costume
Effing up the Watchmen designs for the screen must have really taken some effort. These are super-heroes who were dressed in actual fabrics instead of spandex! It takes some imagination to get from A to B in this fashion.
Ozymandias is the worst example. A fairly simple and elegant costume, turned into a malformed muscle-freak. The sheer width of the chest and shoulders compared to the actor’s puny neck and head looks ridiculous. Could we cover it up with some fabric please?
And then you have Nite-Owl. Supposed to be an out-of-form super-hero getting back on the game, Dan was never supposed to be Batman, he had a belly and a lot of extra pounds on him when he put the costume back on. He looked somewhat sad in it, and that was precisely the point. Now we get a different kind of sad, a sad attempt to copy the Batman costume, with a nod to Dr Mid-Nite. Thankfully Warner owns all of the above characters so at least they don’t have to fear any lawsuits.
The Comedian and Rorschach are the only ones who look decent, but then a fedora and trenchcoat are even hard to screw up. Fearfully waiting the first look at Smurfy-blue Dr Manhattan for final verdict now.
Seems to me they’re more interested in selling action figures to kids than making a worthwhile adaptation of the most famous and beloved super-hero story. It’s a shame. If we don’t see some worthwhile changes in the next releases, I’m giving this movie a miss, and I’m predicting a flop the size of Schumacher’s Batman & Robin.
My First Newsarama Interview!
Nothing like some self-hype to get our day started!
I did an interview with Barry Levine – the publisher of Radical Comics- for Newsarama. It was an amazing experience, and makes for a great read as Barry goes in great detail about Radical’s publishing plans. You can read the full interview here.
The Case of the Seven-Breasted Hermaphrodite Priapic Reptilian God/dess
WARNING: Graphic depictions of British men slashing the nutsack off a ginormous reptile penis, and the establishing shot of the monstrous seven-breasted hermaphrodite God/dess it’s attached to.
Or as my friend Tyler wisely said last month: ‘Warning: panels written by Warren Ellis’ should suffice.
(Spoilers from Gravel #1 and graphic depictions of reptilian genitalia through this link)
A Public Health Warning Announcement
courtesy of J. Jonah Jameson:
It’s true, I read it in Amazing Spider-Man #555 (Marvel Comics)!
Donna Troy Cry Me a River
It’s all in the details of course, from the dripping effect on the bottom of the last four panels, to Aqualad being Aqualad in the very last one! (hey the guy lives in water, cut him a break)
Source: Teen Titans Year One #3 (DC Comics)
Marvel Finally Responds To Mary Jane Laundry Scandal
Remember this little Adam Hughes statue of Mary Jane which caused such a huge ruckus only a few months ago?
Nothing a little Deal With The Devil (Copyright Marvel 2008) can’t fix!
Behold the newly perpetually single Peter Parker setting things politically right.
Source: Amazing Spider-man #552 (Marvel Comics)
Jack and the Bruised Beanstalk
What, he only slept with her two sisters and her so he could later brag about it. What’s to regret?
Source: Jack of Fables #20 (Vertigo / DC Comics)
Filthy Asgardians
JMS introduces us to the fine art of Asgardian interior plumbing (or lack thereof):
Source: Thor #6 (Marvel Comics)
Official Kids Handbook of the Marvel U
Source: Marvel Adventures Fantastic Four #33 (Marvel Comics)
LOGAN #1 spoilers
The runner-up for spotlight as Panel of The Week (damn that pesky curious Buffy), the startling ending from LOGAN #1 by Vaughan and Risso (Marvel Comics).
(erm, serious SPOILERS)
mr Vaughan is still the master of the cliffhanger. In this case, it’s a very specifically Vaughan ending, saving the setting of the story for the very last page (not unlike EX MACHINA #1) for maximum effect. With a setting like this, Logan fighting and falling in love on a fateful day on the island of Hiroshima, how can you not swallow the bait and come back for more??
For a full review of the issue, check out Mark Stoddard’s review
Generic Marvel Recap Page Template
Source: World War Hulk Aftersmash: Damage Control #2 (Marvel Comics), but miraculously applicable line-wide.
Wolverine: Some Assembly Required
Ultimate Apocalypse is bad-ass enough to break off Wolvie’s -unbreakable- adamantium arm and hit him with it. Respect!
Source: Ultimate X-Men #91 (Marvel Comics)
That’s a wrap for today! I’m waiting your comments and feedback through email to Manolis@gmail.com or through the site’s comments feature
If you self-publish your own comics or represent an Indy comics company, add me to your press release list, and I will run your news in this space every week.
Manolis Vamvounis
a.k.a. Dr. Dooplove
