The SmarK DVD Rant for Shawn Michaels: Heartbreak & Triumph

The SmarK DVD Rant for Shawn Michaels: Heartbreak & Triumph

– I know that Princess did her take on this DVD for the blog already, but I wanted to do it myself and I did my best to avoid reading hers so that I wouldn’t be parroting her thoughts or anything.

– This is a sequel of sorts to the original two-disc set called “From the Vault” which frankly blows away this set and many others in terms of pure match quality, but it’s a different kind of set.

Disc One

– So of course we start with the home life, as we officially note his name as Michael Shawn Hickenbottom, which is good to know because it’s been a source of confusion for many years. His parents and friend talk about what a huge wrestling geek Shawn was, as he imitated Ric Flair and used the pool to learn moves. That reminds me of one of my favourite Jim Cornette stories (of many), as Chris Jericho and Lance Storm were working out in Cornette’s back yard to prepare for the biggest SMW show in history, and Jericho wanted to practice shooting star presses in the pool. Jim, ever the kidder, quipped “Sure, but don’t go and break your arm or anything, har har,” and sure enough that’s exactly what Jericho went and did.

– Shawn had the talk with his parents, coming out of the closet as a pro wrestler and dropping out of college to pursue it.

– Your first crazy footage of the show: One Man Gang beating on a young jobber named Sean Michaels in Mid-South. Everyone agreed he was pretty darn good right from his first match.

– He moved to Kansas and met Marty Jannetty, who these days sounds like Robert Gibson in the 80s, and after Shawn had “his first encounter with wrestling politics” in form of getting screwed out of a payday, he moved to the AWA with Marty and the Midnight Rockers are born. We could have used some of Shawn’s stories about Verne Gagne here instead of talking heads putting them over. Or the story about how they cynically ripped off the Midnight Express and Rock N Roll Express to create their name. I guess this won’t be one of those brutally honest DVDs, then.

– Oh, wait, apparently they loved to party. My mistake.

– So their first big feud was against tag champs Buddy Rose & Doug Somers, and they engaged in the bloodbath match and chased the belts for a year before finally winning the damn things.

– Off to the WWF…for about a week, as they came in and got fired right away. Thankfully they put in the snakeskin boots story, as Vince comments that Shawn’s boots “are made for walking” and then fires him.

– Now we’re getting into some honesty on the personal front, as Shawn admits to getting heavy into the party lifestyle with the drugs and booze while doing spot shows for 50 people in their post-WWF funk. Back to the AWA, and lacking anyone else to carry the belts they end up getting their second tag titles before getting a second chance in the WWF.

– Here’s a rarity: Kerwin Silfies, the director of WWF/WWE TV for years on end and the guy who inspired the Kerwin White gimmick, finally gets to comment on a DVD. More awesomeness as Tully Blanchard and Arn Anderson add their thoughts on the Rockers-Brainbusters feud. Sometimes a monopoly can be a good thing.

– So we skip ahead two years to 1990 with the phantom title change. First footage of it ever here, and the Rockers never did win the tag belts together.

– Shawn talks about the breakup, which was happening at the same pace in real life as it did on screen. And of course it leads to the Barber Shop window, one of the legendary tag team breakups in wrestling, and probably the definitive one, I’d say. Still awesome.

– Pat Patterson suggested that he be paired with Sherri, with the theory being that she gives him the rub as a singles star because people didn’t buy him as a singles guy at that point without her. And I can say, TRUE. At the time I totally didn’t buy him in that role. Apparently Curt Hennig coined the Heartbreak Kid nickname on commentary. HHH gets a great dig (“I’ve seen Shawn dance…it wasn’t pretty.”) and Shawn talks about the rationale behind changing the theme from Sherri singing to himself singing.

– Off to 1992 and winning the IC title for the first time in a throwaway match against Bulldog on SNME.

– But then he needed a bodyguard, so he’s home watching WCW one night and Kevin Nash was making him laugh. Hey, Nash makes everyone laugh while watching him in the ring. So we get a funny story about Nash scamming Ole Anderson into getting his release and he showed up in the WWF basically the next day.

– Shawn talks about getting suspended for steroids in 1993, which he STILL denies. So he refuses to send the belt back for real, which leads to the ladder match at Wrestlemania X. Ric Flair sums it up through HHH as “Shawn Michaels went out and had a match with a ladder and there just happened to be another guy in there.” Ah, much love for Scott Hall tonight.

– Now the good stuff, as Shawn forms the Clique, although HHH doesn’t recall being taken under anyone’s wing right away like Shawn remembers it. It’s nice that they have a relationship where they can openly bust on each other like that. Shawn just thinks that Vince liked them taking the initiative. Ted Dibiase thinks Hall and Nash were just riding Shawn’s coattails and they were all a pain in the ass.

– 1995 sees Shawn getting his first shot at the big time against Diesel at Wrestlemania XI, losing a ***1/2 match but stealing the show and in fact burying his best friend in the process.

– Syracuse: Shawn, as usual, gets hammered and acts like an ass while out partying, but this time mouths off to a group of Marines ranging from 2-9 depending on who’s telling the story and gets his ass kicked but good. So they turn it into an angle with the ENZUIGIRI OF DEATH against Owen Hart, kicking off his run to the World title.

– Shawn finally wins the belt at Wrestlemania XII against Bret Hart (although not for the last time) and kicks off his obnoxious babyface reign. Unfortunately his title reign coincided with the low point of the promotion and the debate about how much of that was his fault still rages.

– HHH notes he was “an angry young man” who took bad performances personally. And I guess that’s all we get on that.

– So we move onto The Curtain Call in MSG, as all the Clique guys have one last group hug before Hall and Nash go to WCW. And of course HHH was the one who took the punishment like a man. So it’s back to a discussion of Shawn’s anger issues as the ratings went down.

– We skip past dropping the belt to Sid and his bizarre aborted heel turn, and move to Royal Rumble 97 with his winning of the title in the Alamodome.

– Thursday RAW: Shawn loses his smile. I still get teary-eyed over the sincerity displayed here. He credits his mom for that catchphrase. So blame her.

– Onto Hell in a Cell, an untested concept at that point. Despite all his issues, he steals the show again and delivers in the ring as usual.

– September 1997: Finally, a truly revolutionary concept, as D-Generation X changes the business once and for all. We’re getting close to that period on 24/7. We get extensive footage of Shawn pointing to his crotch and telling people to suck it. This was truly cutting edge stuff, like wrestling booked by people who were rebelling against the product of the 80s.

– Onto Montreal. Hunter takes credit for devising the screwjob. Other than that, same spin from the same people here. Vince told them to deny everything to everyone who ever asked and put it all on him. As usual, Ted Dibiase is the voice of reason. I don’t know why they don’t just do a DVD about it and get it over with already.

– Royal Rumble 98: Shawn gets a boo-boo against Undertaker and can’t get out of bed the next day. For a long while we thought it was karma catching up in a big way. And it seemed to be, as his drug problems were getting worse along with his body. Funny bit as we get Steve Austin noting that Shawn really didn’t want to drop the title, while Pat Patterson says that he would have crawled to the ring to drop it. And down went Shawn and that looked to be the end of him.

– He didn’t take it well.

– Luckily, he met Whisper and she got pregnant, but he kept spiralling downwards. HHH tells the story about Vince pulling the plug on Shawn’s big comeback in 2001 at Wrestlemania X-7 and HHH getting jobbed to Undertaker instead. Shawn nearly ODs on Soma and becomes another familiar end to a familiar story, and that’s when he wakes up. A pastor asks him if he’d like to have Jesus Christ in his life, and you know something? He would, thank you.

– So on we move to Summerslam 2002, as Shawn comes back for one match and just doesn’t go away again. He gets the title again (albeit not for long) and we move onto Jericho v. Shawn at Wrestlemania 19. They have a great match, and Shawn decides that he’s ready to come back full-time as a result. Jericho’s tearful hug and followup kick in the nuts adds another 1/4* by itself. Jericho calls it his favourite match. That’s pretty high praise.

– We skip another two years as Hulk Hogan returns for the dream match against Shawn (brother, brother, brother) and the office tells Shawn to go ahead and do his worst, since “Terry’s all business, brother”. Shawn insists he got full permission from Hulk to tear him apart as a heel. The whole thing never really moved me, to be honest, but then I was drifting away from the business by that point anyway.

– Speaking of drifting away, now we come to Shawn v. Vince from Wrestlemania 22, which gives everyone a chance to make fun of the boss and his lack of mobility. Jericho’s commentary is awesome. This match, if nothing else, was the definitive ass-beating of Vince McMahon, and if it had been Bret Hart doing it then it would have been legendary. As it is, it was mostly forgettable and remembered for setting up the atrocity that followed.

– So yeah, Backlash 2006, as the McMahons team up against Shawn and God.

– Moving on, D-X returns, although less edgy and more lowbrow now. To his credit, Shawn takes responsibility and makes sure not to be directly involved in stuff that personally bothered him. (“Oo, I love Mr. Fuji!”).

– Wrestlemania 23, which Shawn describes as “the Lord having plans that he didn’t ask for”.

– And we wrap it up with the usual verbal blowjobs. I kind of wish they’d do another Ultimate Warrior style burial DVD one of these days, just to bring out the honesty in people. Real honesty, not WWE DVD honesty. Randy Savage’s DVD had that potential but they cancelled it.

Extras!

So before we move onto the matches, the main program has a few extras on Disc One.

– From April 94: Shawn debuts his talk show on RAW, the Heartbreak Hotel. Really nothing here of note.

– Tell Me a Lie, the music video. Still makes me barf a little.

– From 2005: The Larry King spoof with Shawn as Hulk Hogan. Funny stuff, to be sure.

– Rudy Gonzalez talks about the Shawn Michaels Wrestling Academy, which was notable for producing Lance Cade and Brian Kendrick from a WWE standpoint, and Bryan Danielson for the rest of the world.

– Shawn’s bible students talk about how much he loves Jesus.

– Shawn hikes up a mountain for Jesus. These were deleted for a reason.

– One of the things skipped over, Shawn v. Angle from Wrestlemania 21, is covered here. Now that was a fabulous match.

Disc Two

Onto the matches.

Sean Michaels v. Billy Jack Haynes. From World Class, January 1985. This would be “Sean’s” debut according to the main program. Haynes has Sunshine, former valet for Jimmy Garvin, in his corner at this point. Garvin definitely upgraded with Precious. Haynes works a headlock to start, but Sean pounds away in the corner to break before doing a backflip out of the corner and getting caught in the full-nelson at 1:40. That was quite the ignominious debut.

AWA World tag titles: Buddy Rose & Doug Somers v. The Midnight Rockers. From February 10 1987. This is billed as the last ever title shot for the Rockers after more than a year of chasing the titles. Bigtime stall from the champs to start and finally Shawn starts out with Somers and they criss-cross into a dropkick from Shawn and the armbar. Double-team in the corner follows and Marty whips Somers into Rose, and gets two off that. Marty gets caught in the heel corner, but some heel miscommunication puts Rose down for two. We stop for more stalling while Marty calls his coke dealer and Rose calls his Coke dealer, and we get back into it with Rose whipping Marty into the corner for the melodramatic babyface sell. Marty gets hung in the Tree of Woe and choked out by Rose, as you can kinda tell that no one is really giving a shit here despite the big moment upcoming. Maybe the 600 or so people in attendance has something to do with it. Marty comes back with a forearm to put Rose down for two, but Somers puts him down again for two and chokes him out. Marty gets dumped and takes a nice bump to the floor. Finally he fights back and makes the hot tag to Michaels, which leads to a small package on Rose for two. Rose boots him out of the corner, however, and Somers is back with cheapshots to take over again. Backbreaker gets two, and Rose comes back in with a faceplant. Somers with a gutbuster for two. Shawn comes back with a sunset flip for two, but Rose puts him in a body vice. Shawn reverses out of that for two in a nice counter, but the champs beat him to the floor and keep him out there. Back in, Somers with a DDT and piledriver for two. Rose puts him on top for the superplex and that gets two. Shawn slugs back, but Somers knees him down for two. Rose with a backbreaker for two. They’re doing quite the Ricky Morton job on Shawn here. Somers with a backdrop and elbow for two. And finally Shawn catches a quick shot and makes the hot tag, as Marty slams everyone and they double-superkick Rose out of the ring. Rockerplex finishes for the titles at 19:00 to finally give them the belts. Took a long time to really get going. **1/2

AWA World tag titles: The Midnight Rockers v. Ninja Go & Super Ninja.

This is listed as June 12 1987, but the Rockers lost the belts to the (ahem) awesome Russian duo of Boris Zhukov and Soldat Ustinov in May, so I’m not sure if it’s a taping cycle thing or an airdate thing or what. The “Japanese” team is not actually from Japan, but I don’t know their specific ID or anything. I think one was Steve Olsonowski, but that’s about it. The Rockers clear the ring to start, and Shawn starts the match with Super Ninja. He has swastikas painted on his gloves, which I’m guessing was someone’s retarded attempt at throwing stars, but either way it makes him REALLY evil. Marty faces off with the martial arts prowess of Ninja Go (and you know he’s badass because he’s named after a board game) and gets a powerslam for two. Over to Super Nazi Ninja, but Marty controls him with armdrags. Over to Shawn for more armdraggy goodness. The Rockers double-dropkick both Ninjas out of the ring and then bring Go in and destroy him with elbows and a double elbowdrop. And it’s back to the armbar after all that. Sadly, Shawn gets caught in the corner, and he must have a Jewish relative or something because Ninja Hitler is just all over him and chokes him out. Seriously, wouldn’t a Nazi Ninja be like the greatest bad guy in movie history? Over to Marty, but he gets double-teamed and Go gets two. I have to wonder about Go’s fascist leanings, because at the very least he’s culpable for teaming with the hatemonger, but I have no solid evidence that he believes in the superiority of the white race. Belly to belly suplex gets two for Skinhead Ninja, but Marty comes back with a sunset flip on Ninja Go-ering. False tag to Shawn as this crowd is just insanely hot for what had been a pretty crappy match up until a few minutes ago, and Ninja Go gets the sleeper on Marty. Oh yeah, that’s probably how they put the Jews down. With SLEEPER holds. Shawn has finally had enough of the hate crimes and chases Go around the ring, and they have a standoff outside the ring to slow it down. Shawn actually slaps Marty around to get him fired up, and that leads to the hot tag. Shawn whips the Ninjas into each other, but puts his head down and gets caught. Super Ninja drops a knee and gets a backbreaker to set up a Demolition elbow for two. Ninja Go with the body vice, but Marty kicks him down and Shawn is on top for the pin at 17:16 to retain. OK, I admit it, that turned into a hell of a tag team match even while I was making Nazi jokes. The whole run with Shawn smacking his own partner around was pretty inspired stuff. ***1/2

The Rockers v. The Brainbusters

From MSG, January 23 1989. Shawn tries a headlock on Arn and gets powered down to start, but AA hits the floor to gloat and gets slugged by Marty. Back in, the Rockers double-team Tully and clean house. Shawn slugs Arn down and takes him down into a facelock, then ducks out of the ring to avoid a double-team from the Busters. Tully goes with a headlock, but Shawn takes him down into the armbar and trades off with Marty. The Busters keep making the tag and the ref keeps chasing them out because the ref didn’t see it. And of course those cheating Rockers switch off behind his back. Marty shoves Tully into the corner and takes him down with a hammerlock, then dropkicks both Busters and holds them off until Shawn comes in for the double superkick. The Brainbusters regroup on the floor, and back in Tully wants the handshake. He only goes with that ruse for a minute before turning on Marty, so it’s over to Shawn again and Anderson powers him down. AA slugs away in the corner, but Shawn takes him down with a rana and it’s breaking loose in Tulsa! Rockers clear the ring again and Marty drags Tully right back in and whips him into Shawn’s boot, which sets up a suplex from Shawn. Tully reverses into the SLINGSHOT SUPLEX, but Shawn flips out of it and gets the rollup for two. Tully runs away again and Shawn follows like an idiot, and it’s CLOBBERING TIME as he walks into a forearm from Arn. And now it’s on, as the Busters go to work and Arn stomps on his head and then whips him into Tully’s knee. Necksnap on the top and they work him over in the corner, giving Tully a two count. Tully hits the chinlock briefly and Shawn powers out of it, then rolls away from Arn’s elbows and gets a sunset flip for two. However, he flips right into the heel corner and Tully breaks and then dumps Shawn. Shawn comes back in with a high cross for two, but Tully brings AA back in for the beatdown and an abdominal stretch. With assistance, of course. The Busters now trade off, and really the Rockers have nothing to bitch about here, but Shawn manages a small package on Arn for two. Marty gets sucked in and the Busters double-team Shawn for two. Shawn slugs back on Tully and they go into a pinfall reversal sequence that gives Shawn two…but he JUST can’t make that tag. Tully cuts him off with an atomic drop, and it’s the spinebuster from Arn for two. They do the knucklelock on the mat spot and of course Arn lands on the knees, and it’s hot tag Robert Gibson…er, Marty. Noggins are knocked and Shawn comes in with a flying fistdrop on Tully for two, but Marty tries a suplex on Tully and Arn hooks the leg to put Blanchard on top for the pin at 16:18. Kids at ringside are PISSED about that one. Well, screw them. This was just two great teams doing their thing that way they do best. ***3/4 Not as legendary or fast-paced as the SNME classic where they just let it all hang out, but still pretty damn fun.

WWF World tag team titles: The Hart Foundation v. The Rockers

Dear lord, I thought I’d be dead in the ground before I ever got to see this. The DVD era is truly a wonderful thing. From October 1990, this is a truly legendary 2/3 falls match that was taped for Saturday Night’s Main Event and then buried in a shoebox behind Titan Tower never to see the light of day again. Post production was never finished, so there’s no commentary, which is weird these days. The lack of crowd sweetening is really evident, too. Kind of neat to see and hear what a half-polished product looks like, as it has all the production cues from the live broadcast but none of the niceties that get added on afterwards, like bringing the ring mic down and bringing the crowd up. Bret starts with Marty and they work off a headlock, which Bret turns into an armbar. Over to Shawn for a double-team backbreaker, and the Rockers superkick the Anvil. Ah, but Bret rams their heads together and Anvil clobbers them with a double clothesline, which gets a notably bigger reaction than the Rockers’ double-team stuff. So Neidhart comes in and sends Shawn into the corner off the lockup, then clobbers him down off a headlock before missing an elbow. The Rockers start working on the arm, but Anvil overpowers Marty and then clotheslines him to the floor, as well as Shawn. The heel fans in the audience really dig that. Mart comes back in with an atomic drop and the Rockers add a double-dropkick for two, then go to work on the arm again. Back to Bret, as he elbows Marty down, but walks into a sunset flip for two. Bret gets involved with the ref and the Rockers double-team Anvil and go up with the stereo fistdrops, but Bret breaks it up. Anvil catches Shawn with a powerslam out of the corner for two, and Bret whips him into the corner and into a backbreaker for two. Legsweep gets two. Legdrop gets two. Piledriver gets two. Bret argues with the ref about that one, and that allows the tag to Marty, who blocks Bret’s sunset flip for the pin at 9:38 to win the first fall. OK, here’s a question: Up until then the match wasn’t terrible or anything, why didn’t they just air it like that and cut to the celebration as if it was a one fall match? I mean, they’ve finessed bigger pieces of crap than that into watchable matches, and even though it was really tentative and messy it was only like ** bad, not the abomination that Bret makes it out to be now.

Second fall sees Bret hitting Marty with an atomic drop, and Anvil pounds him down with a forearm. Bret tries a suplex, but Shawn makes the blind tag and breaks it up, only to get rolled up by Bret for two. And then, DISASTER, as the top rope breaks and you can hear Bret swearing about it. They go into a facelock and Bret has an extended conversation with the ref about how they should just stop the match and edit it later, but the ref freezes up and they keep going. So now they can’t run the ropes. It’s pretty funny because Shawn backdrops out and Bret is “selling”, but you can see and hear him beaking at the ref the whole time about the situation. So Bret goes back to the chinlock and his disgusted looks at the ref who keeps saying “Keep it going” are great, better than anything this match has to offer. Shawn sends him into the turnbuckles to escape, and Bret’s bump without resistance is pretty ugly, and it’s hot tag Marty. Superkick gets two. Bret comes back with a neckbreaker and brings Anvil back in, and it’s chinlock time again as they have no gameplan here. Bret slams Anvil onto Marty for two, and the Demo elbow gets two. Bret goes up, but Shawn dropkicks him off the top and gets the tag, but Bret hits him with a backdrop suplex as they all look totally lost out there. Shawn walks into a Hart Attack to even up the match at 19:23. The ref goes to raise Bret’s hand and Bret just unloads on him with a bitch session and sulks around the ring.

So they finally get the ring crew to fix the damn rope, and we begin the third fall with Bret hitting Shawn with a cheapshot and dropping an elbow, and Anvil comes in with a backdrop as you can see the ropes are nice and springy again. Bret pounds Shawn with forearms, clearly in a pissy mood now, and then ties him up in the ropes before missing a charge to allow Shawn to tag Marty back in. Powerslam gets two. Marty blocks a blind charge and bulldogs Bret out of the corner for two. It’s BONZO GONZO and they get rid of Neidhart, but Bret is still irate and crossfaces Marty during a criss-cross. God, get over it. Back to Anvil and he pounds Marty down with forearms, then the Harts do some cheating in the corner and Anvil gets two. Anvil powerslams Bret on Marty, but it backfires when Marty gets his knees up. Still, they dump Shawn just in case and set up for another Hart Attack, but Shawn dropkicks Marty onto Neidhart for the pin and the titles at 25:00. That’s actually a finish no one ever used before, oddly enough. And that was supposed to be the end of the Anvil’s WWF career, but then this match never happened and the Harts were suddenly champions again. You know, I’m gonna be That Guy and say that this match wasn’t that bad, all things considered. The second fall was pretty draggy while Bret was all “Wah wah wah” to the ref, but they pulled it together and had a pretty nice little match out of it. It wasn’t a classic to kick off the Rocker Era or anything like that, but it was totally usable and the Rockers were robbed out of a title reign. **1/2

The Rockers v. The Orient Express

From Royal Rumble 91. The Express gets a double backdrop to start, but the Rockers come back and double-team Tanaka before Kato pulls him out to save him. The Rockers keep coming with stereo topes, however. Into the ring, Marty grabs a headlock on Kato, and they reverse into a headscissors, and from there into the pinfall reversal sequence. Tanaka comes in and the Rockers trade off and work the arm, but Tanaka hits him with a flying forearm off the criss-cross, and gets two. Tanaka works on a chinlock and the heels have problems, allowing Shawn to fight back with a faceplant for two. Shawn goes to the chinlock and then moves to a sleeper, but that allows Kato to hit him from behind with a flying chop to break. Shawn pounds away on Tanaka in the corner and moonsaults onto Kato from there, but the Express double-team before getting double-dropkicked out of the ring. The Rockers follow them out with stereo dives, and back in Shawn gets two on Kato. Double elbow gets two for Marty. Shawn with a suplex, but he tries a monkey-flip in the corner and gets clotheslined by Tanaka, making him YOUR American-in-peril. Fuji adds a shot with the cane, and Tanaka chops Shawn down. Broken Arrow gets two for Kato. Tanaka goes to the nerve hold and adds a superkick after Shawn fights out, and a double-team clothesline gets two. Shawn comes back and rams Tanaka into the mat, but Kato cuts him off from tagging. They use their belts, but Shawn rams them together and it’s hot tag Marty. Slams for all! Dropkicks for all! Powerslam on Kato gets two. Back elbow gets two. Backslide is blocked by a Tanaka kick, allowing Kato to reverse for two. Shawn trips him up, however, and Marty gets two. The Rockers with the double kick on Kato and they head up, but a potential Rocker Launcher is broken up by Tanaka. Kato looks to finish with a catapult into Tanaka’s chop, but Marty instead uses the momentum to turn it into a sunset flip to finish at 19:13. I’m pretty sure this is clipped down a lot on the Coliseum version to make it even more action-packed, but this full version is still an excellent match. ***3/4

Intercontinental title: Davey Boy Smith v. Shawn Michaels

Here’s a fun fact: Because I was living in Edmonton in 1992 and there was no FOX network available there until a few years after this, I’ve never seen this match. This is from November 1992. Bulldog overpowers him to start, of course, so Shawn goes with the cheapshot, into a hiptoss and short-arm scissors. Hey, wonder what Bulldog will do to counter? And yes indeed, he powers Shawn up and drops him on the mat. Press slam follows and a clotheslines puts Shawn on the floor, as he’s just bumping all over the place in his big solo network debut. Back in, Shawn slugs away in the corner, but Bulldog wins a battle of reversals and gets the armbar. Shawn dumps him to escape and unties the turnbuckle, as we take a break. Back with Shawn going to the chinlock and Bulldog slamming out of it, but Shawn works on the back and goes to the abdominal stretch. Bulldog fights out and faceplants him, then sends him into the corner and out with a clothesline. Catapult into the corner is followed by a clothesline for two. Delayed suplex gets two. Finally the turnbuckle comes into play, however, as Shawn gets a desperation whip into the dreaded cold steel to slow Bulldog’s comeback. Another whip, but this time he eats the turnbuckle, and Bulldog goes to finish with a superplex…but his back gives out and Shawn pins him to win the title at 10:15. Clean as a sheet, as they say. Really liked this one, as the psychology was consistent, with Shawn working the back and then winning the title when Bulldog’s back gave way. ***1/4 That’s all I ask.

– Yeah, I don’t feel like doing the Royal Rumble match from 1995 over again, so here’s the original rant.

Royal Rumble: This is the aggravating super-abbreviated version with 60 second intervals for time reasons. Vince hypes it as the “fastest-paced Rumble ever”, which is like when Microsoft finds a bug and calls it a “feature”. The move pissed off EVERYONE, however, and hasn’t been seen since. Shawn Michaels gets #1, and British Bulldog gets #2. For those who weren’t around, Shawn’s participation in the Rumble was equivalent to Rocky’s this year: A mere formality. So they gave him #1 to build suspense for his inevitable win. Bulldog manhandles Shawn quickly, with Shawn teasing elimination a few times. Spot I hate the most in the Rumble: Bulldog presses someone above his head, but instead of dumping them out, he just slams them to the mat. That’s just idiotic, and he (and Luger) do it EVERY YEAR they are in the Rumble. Eli Blu is #3. Duke Droese is #4. Jimmy Del Rey is #5. Mainly just punching and kicking going on. Shawn teases elimination again. Barbarian is #6. Bulldog knocks Del Ray out for the first elimination. Tom Pritchard takes his place at #7. This 60 second thing is ludicrous, there’s just no way to tell a story. Doink is #8 and everyone pairs off. Kwang is #9. Who would have ever thought that Savio Vega could actually be a step UP the gimmick ladder? When do you ever hear sentences like “Boy, he’s way better off with that Caribbean Legend gimmick now!” except in cases like Kwang? Rick Martel is #10 on the downswing of his career. Too many people in there right now. Kwang almost knocks Shawn out. Owen Hart is #11, and his loving brother Bret attacks him and kicks his ass. Crowd eats it up, and by the time he’s done we’re at #12 with Timothy Well of Well Dunn. Owen is tossed by the Bulldog immediately upon entry, followed by Droese, Well, Martel, Pritchard and Doink. Good riddance. Sheepfucker Luke is #13 as Eli & Kwang eliminate each other. Speaking of semi-famous Eli’s, here’s one for The Rick: Whatever happened to UWF midcarder Eli The Eliminator? I used to think he was pretty cool back in my mark days. And may I just say thank god the hick Spokane station we got in Vancouver carried Bill Watts’ UWF, even it was at 2 in the morning. I think it was KCPQ, but I could be off. Help me here, fellow Lower Mainlanders from the 80s! Shawn dumps Luke, leaving him and the Bulldog. Jacob Blu is #14 and a blind charge at Shawn ends his night. Back to Shawn & Bulldog. King Kong Bundy is #15 and the crowd seems worried for Shawn (who was actually a heel at this point, but getting sympathetic face pops by the bucketful). Mo is #16, and soon he’s no mo’. Mabel is #17, and I guess the gravitational pull of both him and Bundy is too much, because they collide and do a showdown. Sheepfucker Butch is #18 as Mabel & Bundy put more stress on the ring ropes than is mandated by law, and so the poor thing screams in pain until one of them falls out – in this case, Bundy. That darn gravitational pull acts up again, taking Butch with him. The man is so fat he’s a menace to the laws of physics. Mabel & Bulldog almost get Shawn out, but Lex Luger makes the save at #19. He tosses Mabel out, which is admittedly pretty impressive. Luger & Bulldog go after Shawn now, but speaking of fat people, here’s Mantaur (PN News’ little brother and future ECW reject Bruiser Mastino) to help out at #20. Aldo Montoya (and really, how many jokes can be made about the poor guy?) is #21 and Shawn nearly knocks the jockstrap off his face with some rights (okay, so I’m weak…). HOG is #22. Billy Gunn is #23, Bart Gunn is #24, and my jobber sense is tingling as the match goes nowhere. Mr. Bob Backlund is #25, but Bret attacks HIM too, to the delight of the crowd. Luger’s elimination of him is academic. Steven Dunn is #26. Dick Murdoch gets the honor of being the Token Old-Timer at #27 and does pretty good for himself. Too many guys in there right now again. Adam Bomb is #28. Fatu is #29 as Mantaur goes out via Luger. Crush gets the honor of being #30. Interesting note: Although Vince tried to resuscitate Crush’s singles push after a horrible 1994, life intervened as Crush was arrested on weapons charges soon after this and didn’t return until 1996 as the ex-convict themed Crush. Crush dumps both Gunns at once. Dunn is done. More milling around to use up PPV time. Somewhere in here, Vince and Jerry are discussing the co-winner situation from the previous year, and there’s a funny exchange later on:

– Lawler: “I’m changing my official prediction to Shawn & Crush!”

– Vince: “You can’t have two people winning the Royal Rumble!”

– Lawler: “Well, it happened last year!”

– Vince: “[Pauses] Well, that’ll NEVER happen again, I promise you.” The audible cringe in Vince’s voice is pretty funny.

Murdoch almost tosses Shawn, but Luger saves him. Crush backdrops Adam Bomb out, then Shawn gets rid of Aldo. Luger saves Shawn from Murdoch again. Crush dumps Fatu. Murdoch tries an airplane spin on Godwinn, but gets dizzy and falls out. Godwinn is still dizzy himself, so Luger gets rid of him.

Final Four: Shawn, Bulldog, Luger & Crush. Pretty good field for the final four. Luger tries the 10-punch count on Crush, and that’s so idiotic that Shawn can’t resist simply pushing him over and out. Shawn & Crush strike a bargain and beat up Bulldog, then Crush turns on Shawn and is about to press him out of the ring, but Bulldog charges and knocks Crush out of the ring and Shawn down to safety. So we’re back where we started at the beginning: Shawn v. Bulldog. Bulldog kills him and clotheslines him out for the win, but Shawn plays hot-potato with his feet, and eventually crawls back in and dumps the celebrating Bulldog out for the real win at 38:39. Replays show that indeed, Shawn managed to somehow only have one foot touch the ground. Good Rumble for the huge flaws imposed on it. ***1/2 Pamela Anderson celebrates with Shawn and looks none too thrilled to be a part of it. Yeah, because god knows BAYWATCH has way more critical acclaim and highbrow appeal than wrestling does…

Disc Three

Intercontinental title match: Jeff Jarrett v. Shawn Michaels. From In Your House #2. Shawn is ungodly over here. He sends Jarrett flying into the corner with a pair of rights to start. JJ gets an armdrag and struts to celebrate. Shawn alley-oops over him in the corner, but gets nailed with a right and bails. Back in, JJ grabs a headlock and they do a complex hiptoss-reversal sequence. Shawn wins iteration #1 by poking him in the eye, then Jarrett wins the second one, only to get clotheslined to the floor. Great sequence. Shawn skins the cat back in, and Jarrett decides to walk out. He plays mindgames with Shawn, faking coming back in a couple of times before finally Shawn snaps and chases him. Back in, Shawn goes off the top but gets nailed coming down. JJ misses a dropkick and Shawn nails Roadie off the apron and dumps Jarrett, then follows with a tope that the crowd eats up. Back in, Jarrett ducks a cross-body, but gets sunset-flipped. He recovers and Shawn charges, but Jarrett backdrops him clear over the top rope and to the floor backfirst, the move that has since been dubbed by history as The Holy Shit Bump, for good reason. JJ tosses him back in, and hits a gourdbuster for two. He goes into the abdominal stretch, using the Roadie for leverage. Leaping DDT gets two. Jarrett chokes him out, but hits Roadie by mistake. Shawn rolls him up for two, but gets tossed to the corner and Flair Flips to the floor. Jarrett goes to the top to draw the referee over, then lets Roadie do the actual dirty work of clotheslining Shawn off the apron. Back in, Shawn rolls through a bodypress for two. Jarrett sunset flip is blocked for two, but he finishes the move for two. Jarrett hits a Holly-ish dropkick for two. Sleeper gets a two count, but Shawn escapes with a backdrop suplex and crawls over for two. Shawn makes the superman comeback, hitting a flying forearm. Double axehandle gets two. Flying elbow gets two. Shawn posts him and goes upstairs, but Roadie crotches him and Jarrett superplexes him. Figure-four, but Shawn reverses to a cradle for two. Figure-four again, but this time Shawn pushes him off and into the ref. Roadie sneaks in and clips Shawn, and Jarrett hits a flying bodypress for two. Jarrett comes off the ropes to finish, but Roadie is busy gloating about his interference and doesn’t even notice that he trips the wrong guy. Oops. Superkick, goodbye at 19:58 and Shawn Michaels wins the I-C title for the third time. ***** Just a terrific blend of the old-school southern mentality from Jarrett with the requisite sick bumps from Michaels and a super-hot crowd. On the other hand, I can certainly understand how lots of people might not love this match as much because of the stalling and generally slower pace, but I like it as a counterpoint to all of Shawn’s high-impact, fast-paced stuff. To each their own, and as Stuart Smalley might say, that’s…okay.

WWF World title: Shawn Michaels v. The British Bulldog

From King of the Ring 96. Wow, I was re-reading my original rant for this match…yikes. Definitely time for a redo. This is a rematch from Beware of Dog, aka the Blackout Show, and Mr. Perfect is the outside referee for reasons I forget. The show itself is far more notable for creating Stone Cold Steve Austin, of course. Davey overpowers Shawn to start, so Shawn starts working on the arm and takes him down into an armbar. Davey reverses to the headscissors and Shawn goes with the headlock. They work off that for a bit and Bulldog tosses him, but Shawn skins the cat back in and takes Bulldog out with a headscissors, then follows in one smooth motion with a rana off the apron. He adds a shot to Jim Cornette, and we head back in again. Owen is absolutely hilarious on commentary here, by the way. It`s too bad he didn`t really have a strong voice because he would have been a great color man. And probably not died. Anyway, Bulldog goes back to the headlock and overpowers Shawn again, but a press slam is escaped by Shawn and he kicks Bulldog down for two and then goes to the armbar. Bulldog pounds him in the corner, but Shawn takes him down again with an armbar and then moves to a hammerlock. Bulldog fights out, but Shawn fights off a hiptoss and goes to a sleeper. Bulldog quickly escapes and whips Shawn into the corner to pound the back. It`s actually really, really interesting to watch that 92 match between them, then this one where they use some of the same spots in totally different ways because of the character changes. For bonus fun, watch the One Night Only match where they`re completely different yet again and change up the same spots to work in new ways. Shawn takes Bulldog down with another armbar and goes up with a double axehandle for two, so Bulldog presses him and then casually drops him straight down to the floor. And people wonder why Shawn got addicted to drugs? This one of those rare spots where I actually gasped. Back in, Bulldog gets two, and then he whips Shawn into the corner and clotheslines him on the rebound. That sets up the bow-and-arrow, but Shawn quickly breaks, so we hit the chinlock. Shawn fights out, but runs into a knee and gets backdropped. Bulldog follows with a legdrop to the back, and gets two. Back to the chinlock, but Shawn fights out and gets a bodypress for two. Bulldog knocks him down again and gets two, and back to the chinlock. Shawn fights up with a crucifix for two and looks to try Bulldog’s own powerslam, but that backfires as Bulldog escapes and clotheslines him down to escape the superkick. Piledriver and he goes up, but misses a flying headbutt. That was rather ill-advised, as he was WAY out of position, and Shawn was nice enough to roll away to cover up his gaffe. Shawn whips Bulldog into the corner and fights up to the top, but Bulldog dropkicks him down to crotch him. This sets up a superplex, and that gets two for Bulldog. Another one, but this time Shawn reverses for two in a little nod to the finish of that 92 title switch. Collision and both guys are out off that. Shawn is up first with a rana, but Bulldog turns it into a powerbomb for two. Shawn whips Bulldog into the corner, and just to prove he can Davey takes a hellacious bump off that, bouncing three feet back into the ring again off it. And now it’s time for the Shawn comeback, but the ref gets bumped and Shawn goes up with the flying elbow. Superkick finishes clean at 26:28. Weird bit as Perfect comes in to count with Hebner, but Owen pulls him out at two while Earl finishes the count. Shawn tries to fight off Bulldog and Owen, but Owen’s wearing a tux AND a cast, so you know he’s bad. Ahmed Johnson makes the save, but Vader makes it 3-on-2 again…until Ultimate Warrior makes the save to set up the god-awful International Incident PPV. Gotta say, this is a lost classic. **** I still can’t stand babyface Shawn from that era, though.

RAW World title: HHH v. Shawn Michaels.

From RAW, December 29 2003. HHH grabs a headlock to start and they trade hammerlocks, and Shawn goes to the headlock himself. He hangs on and overpowers HHH, but walks into an elbow. Shawn dumps him and cleans house on Flair after skinning the cat. Back in, Shawn works on the arm with an armbar. HHH retreats to the ropes, so Shawn kicks them to crotch him and goes back to the armbar. HHH comes back with a cheapshot and works him over in the corner. Shawn comes back as they brawl outside, and he throws some chops against the railing. Back in, Shawn gets a sleeper, and escapes a suplex attempt, getting a rollup for two. They do the backslide-bridge thing and Shawn gets two. Shawn charges, however, and takes the Holy Shit Bump over the post and to the floor, just like old times. And we take a break. We return as HHH necksnaps him and chokes away in the corner. Backbreaker gets two. He slugs away on the mat and drops an elbow on the back, and slugs him down for two. They slug it out until HHH knees him in the gut and tosses him. Shawn eats the stairs, but comes back with a sunset flip for two. HHH takes him down with a clothesline for two. Abdominal stretch to work on the back some more, with help from Flair. Shawn hiptosses out and comes back with chops, but HHH hits him with the high knee for two. He hurts the knee on the move, so Shawn takes him down for a figure-four. Flair breaks it up by poking him in the eye, however. Well, there goes his stance on the rules. HHH sends him out, but Shawn heads up to the top, only to walk into KICK WHAM…but he reverses the Pedigree. Both guys are count and the crowd is insanely into the count. They slug it out and Shawn falls on his crotch with a headbutt, and they’re both out again. HHH is up first and hammers away in the corner, but Shawn comes back with chops and the atomic drop. Another chop, another atomic drop, more chops. Flying forearm and kip-up and Shawn goes up with the flying elbow. The superkick tease is interrupted by Flair, so Shawn decks him, but the ref is bumped. HHH blocks the superkick and DDTs him, and both guys are out. Flair gives HHH the belt, and he nails Shawn for two. KICK WHAM PEDIGREE, but Shawn reverses and the ref is bumped AGAIN. Eric Bischoff runs out to tend to Hebner personally while HHH undoes the turnbuckle, but HHH gets sent into it. He’s out and Shawn is covering, but there’s no ref. Bischoff counts two himself. Okay then. HHH starts bleeding and Shawn hammers away in the corner, but HHH brings him down, and Shawn slugs him down again for two. HHH comes back with a facecrusher for two. He goes up and jumps onto Shawn’s foot, and Shawn chops away in the corner and gets a superkick out of nowhere for the pin and the title at 29:13. Crazy good match in every aspect with insane crowd heat and selling from Shawn, dragged down a bit by the senseless ref bumps. ****1/2 2008 note: The rant was fine and didn’t need a redo, but I’d have to downgrade the rating a tiny bit, but I still thought it was lots of fun between two guys who know each other like brothers.

La Resistance v. The Rockers.

From RAW, March 2005. This was leading to the Angle-Michaels match at Wrestlemania, as Angle was on the Shawn nostalgia destruction tour. Marty actually doesn’t look that bad. Grenier trades wristlocks with Marty to start and gets armdragged as a result. La Rez gets a double-team hiptoss on Marty and Conway comes in, but the Rockers return fire with their own double-team stuff. Well, Marty’s kip-up could use some work, but the double-pescado looks nice. Grenier goes with Shawn, and Conway gets a cheapshot to make him face-in-peril. Conway works him over in the corner, and Grenier gets a suplex for two. Clothesline gets two, and we hit the chinlock. La Rez gets a Hart Attack for two (that’s gotta be a rib of some sort, right?) and Conway continues the beating in the corner. Shawn fights back on Grenier with chops and the flying forearm, and makes the hot tag to Marty after the nostalgic somersault. Marty faceplants Conway and dropkicks him out, then escapes Grenier’s press slam and gets the Rocker Dropper for the pin at 6:03. Wouldn’t wanna see it all the time, but as a one time thing this was tremendous fun. **1/2

Shawn Michaels v. Kurt Angle.

From Vengeance 2005, previously only ranted on in my last book, Wrestling’s Made Men. So yeah, it’s the rematch from Wrestlemania, which was basically set up with one show by Shawn saying “Um, you want a rematch” and Angle being all “Uh, yeah” and that was pretty much it. Angle was essentially moved from Smackdown for this rematch, and because he’s Kurt Angle and can do whatever he wants at this point. They fight over a lockup to start and Angle takes him down to the mat, but Shawn quickly escapes to the ropes. Shawn grabs a headlock, but Angle counters him with a single-leg takedown, and they both back off. Angle goes back to the headlock, but Shawn hiptosses out and grabs an armbar. Angle escapes by going after Shawn’s arm in turn, and Shawn bails and recovers outside. Back in, Shawn starts throwing chops, so Angle backs off. Angle gets another takedown, so Shawn backs off. Angle tries the takedown again and starts fighting for the anklelock, but Shawn fights him off and he has to settle for a half-crab instead. Shawn quickly makes the ropes. Shawn goes back to the chops in the corner and goes up with a sunset flip for one, but Angle quickly reverses to the anklelock. Nice sequence! Shawn makes the ropes and pushes Angle out of the ring as a result. They head outside and Angle tries to Angle Slam Shawn into the post in a repeat of the Wrestlemania spot, but Shawn escapes from that. Angle makes the most of the situation and german suplexes him headfirst into the table instead. Dear god, that was nasty. Back in, Angle gets two off that. Angle, Mr. Intensity, yanks up him by the ponytail and knees him in the face, then a neckbreaker gets two. Another great thing about Angle — he varies up his offense, throwing in stuff like neckbreakers that you don’t expect from him. Angle chokes him in the corner and stomps away, which pretty much negates any cheers he might have been getting, and he goes about the task of beating the hell out of Shawn Michaels, another guaranteed heel heat response. Shawn tries fighting back, but Angle powerbombs him into the turnbuckles, and gets two. Talk about abusing the guy’s neck. See what I mean about mixing up the offense, though? Angle drops some elbows and fires off a suplex for two. He goes to a chinlock, which does fit with the psychology of the neck injury at least. Shawn fights up, so Angle flattens him with a german suplex for two. Shawn is taking the beating of a lifetime here. I love it. Angle Slam is reversed to an armdrag by Shawn, but Angle clotheslines him down again for two. They head up to the top and Angle tries a superplex, but Shawn slugs him down to block it. However, he jumps off and lands into a belly to belly suplex from Angle, which gets two. Angle grabs a sleeperhold and holds Shawn on the mat for a few near-falls. Shawn fights up again and escapes with a backdrop suplex, and it’s a double KO. They slug it out and Shawn makes the comeback with the kip up and the inverted atomic drop. He goes up and drops the flying elbow, and just when it’s time for the superkick, Angle pops up and clotheslines him with MUSTARD. Well, so much for that comeback. Angle Slam is reversed to a DDT by Shawn, however, and that gets two. Shawn stays on top, however, and makes Angle keep kicking out of it. Shawn tries a suplex, but Angle reverses right into the rolling germans and the Angle Slam out of that. That gets two. Angle goes for the anklelock, but Shawn cradles for two, and then Angle just hangs on and applies the move. Shawn reverses Angle into the ref, however, and it’s ref bump time. Shawn charges and gets dumped to the floor (as sensitive fans in the front row yell “C’mon Shawn, shake it off!”) but he hurts his knee. Angle is all over it, of course, and pulls down the straps to really emphasize his intensity. It’s anklelock time, although really that doesn’t do much against Shawn’s bad knee. Shawn manages to kick away from the move, but Angle hangs on viciously, much like Wrestlemania 21. Shawn tries to make the ropes, but gets pulled back into the middle of the ring again and looks ready to tap. One more reversal sends Angle into the corner, however, and breaks the hold. Angle charges in to finish, but Shawn superkicks him absolutely out of nowhere and both guys are out again. Shawn rolls over and gets two. Angle, completely out of it, tries to go up to the top, but Shawn superkicks him on the way down to finish at 26:09. Well, you knew that Shawn was going to get his win back sooner or later. I don’t think it was as purely epic and dramatic as their first match at Wrestlemania, with more slow spots in the middle and a weaker finish, but it was still in the same percentile, so to speak. ****1/2

John Cena v. Shawn Michaels

From RAW, April 23 2007. Another one I’ve never seen. Shawn goes for the arm to start and Cena counters with the headscissors. They do that a couple of times and get nowhere, so we start from scratch. Cena takes him down with a waistlock and now finally they break out the fisticuffs, as we take a break. Back with tempers flaring and Shawn’s fake tan running, and Cena takes him down with a headlock again. Cena holds onto that one with some tenacity and then powers him down, before going back to it again. Shawn fights up, so Cena clobbers him with a clothesline and gets two, then back to the headlock. Shawn’s finally had enough of that and chops out, but Cena hits another clothesline out of the corner and gets two. Back to the headlock and they tease their finishers as Shawn hits the floor and we take a break. Back with Shawn throwing elbows in the corner, but Cena slugs out of there and catches him with a powerslam for two. Suplex gets two. Cena with the facebuster (does he still call it the Broken Record?) for two, but Shawn chops back. Cena backdrops him for two. Shawn’s back with a neckbreaker and they collide for the double KO, but Shawn pops and comes back. Flying elbow sets up the superkick, but then Shawn fakes him out and gets a backslide instead. That gets two, and he dodges a flying Cena, leaving John on the floor with an injury of some sort. Shawn follows with a pescado, but Cena catches him, so Shawn reverses him into the stairs and we take a break.

Back with some on-the-mat scrapping, and Shawn sends Cena into the post to really work on the arm. He hammerlocks Cena and controls him on the mat. Cena slams out of it and fights back enough to use the five-knuckle shuffle, with a bad arm no less, but Shawn escapes the F-U. Superkick misses and Cena gets the F-U…for two. And we take another break. This is a pretty long match. Back with Cena tossing Shawn and posting the back, and that gets two. So now Cena goes to work on the back, and we get a nice little bit of Cena fighting hard for a suplex and Shawn trying to fight him off, before Cena gets it for two. He goes to a bearhug, but Shawn fights him to the corner to escape, before Cena powers him out of the ring again. Back in, Cena comes in with a flying bulldog, for two. Cena puts Shawn on the top and goes for the F-U up there, but Shawn slips out and into a powerbomb. Cena takes him down for the STF, but Shawn is quicker and kicks him off, then sends him flying into the table. Shawn’s selling here is something else. What’s even more interesting to me is that they’ve been doing like 45 minutes at this point with commercials, and Cena looks like he’s fresh from the showers. This man is a FREAK of nature. Not like Vince, but in the same orbit. Shawn follows him out to the floor and sets up for the piledriver on the stairs, but Cena backdrops out this time. And we take a break.

Back with them fighting on the announce table and Cena in control, and they head back in where Shawn can’t escape the STFU this time. Shawn doing this “old and tired but still fighting” bit just shows how adaptable he is. Shawn is fading, but he makes the ropes, and Cena wisely milks the count to suck out Shawn’s strength some more. Cena moves in again, this time with the F-U, but Shawn slips out and superkicks him…for two. Shawn throws chops in the corner while he recovers, but Cena whips him into the corner again and tries another F-U, but a second counter into a second superkick is enough to finish at 37:54. You think Steve Austin would have laid down for someone in his prime, clean no less? Hell of a match, although I think I still liked the WM main event more. ****1/4

Worth buying? Of course. Worth going out of your way to buy? Not so much. It kind of bugs that along with the obsession with no repeats on DVD these days, they also have seemingly adopted a policy where you can’t show the guy losing either, thus eliminating a huge chunk of matches. But even if it’s not definitive, disc 3 offers enough gems to totally justify the purchase, but I’d also seek out From the Vault as a companion for the Essential Shawn Michaels stuff, like Mankind and Diesel and the Iron Man match and all other greatest hits.

Strongly recommended.