Welcome to the newest thing to hit Pulse Wrestling since, well, sliced bread. No, not the Britney Spears rip-off music by Jillian Hall. This is the Marshall Report. I’m going to try to keep at this column every other week if there is something worth writing about. Let’s get right to it and take a quick recap of the last issue before we move onto bigger and exciting things.
In the Last Issue
For those that caught the first Marshall Report two weeks ago, I mentioned about how Jeff Hardy’s suspension could have possibly been a ploy to make the federal government believe that the WWE is actually serious in cutting down on wrestlers using illegal drugs, performance enhancing drugs, and anything else that shines a bad light on the company. After publishing the report, Jeff Hardy’s life turned into a real-life nightmare. His house went up in smoke and everything was lost, including his beloved dog. Jeff is going through a bad time and he needs our support now more than ever. We all make mistakes, even all of the perfectionists out there. Hopefully, Jeff and his girlfriend can recover from this time of tragedy and we should see our favorite high risk taker back on our screens soon.
This is the Wrestlemania Season, after all…isn’t it?
Wrestlemania 24 is this coming Sunday. Consider the majority of this column more of a preview for the biggest show of the year. This is the event everyone in the company looks forward to. Wrestlemania has been the end all of the many major feuds going on and the rise of new challenges. Let’s take a look at each match that will be on the card for this year’s Wrestlemania.
Money in the Bank Ladder Match
Winner gets a world title shot
 Chris Jericho vs. Montel Vontanious Porter vs. Ken Kennedy vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. Carlito vs. CM Punk vs. John Morrison
There are seven well-qualified superstars in this match. Originally, Jeff Hardy was also supposed to be included in this mix, but he got suspended and won’t be appearing. Of all the people involved, it is extremely difficult to pick a winner in this match. Ken Kennedy is definitely the favorite in this match since he won last year’s Money in the Bank match and was poised to hold onto the case until this year’s event. The injury bug did manage to mess those plans up, but there’s still one chance that Mr. Kennedy may very well still make due on his promise.
Another person to watch out for in this match is CM Punk. The past few weeks on RAW he has showed that he can be a huge player for either RAW or SmackDown in the near future. While he may be a long shot to win the Money in the Bank this year, you can’t count him out because of what brand he is on. You have three ECW superstars, three RAW Superstars, and one lone SmackDown superstar in this match, so giving the ECW Championship the credibility it needs is one way to go about this match.
One thing is for certain, you are almost guaranteed that this match will be a fast paced encounter. You’ll see it all and no matter who wins, this match will be the breaking point for their respective careers.
Raw vs. SmackDown
Umaga vs. Batista
There are two matches on this card that have a tendency to get really ugly. This is one of them. Umaga and Batista are two of the biggest monsters of their respective brands and both have been built as the unstoppable force and the immovable object at the same time. I did say monsters because when you look at the likes of the Great Khali, Mark Henry, Big Daddy V, and even Kane, none of them can compare to Umaga and Batista. I have grown to accept Umaga for the position he is in. The former member of the lame Three Minute Warning has found a better gimmick, even if the original intent was to copy TNA’s Samoa Joe. At first that seemed like the worst idea WWE could have done, but when it was made apparent that was not their intention I accepted it. Umaga is worthy of being in the spot he is now and can put on some decent matches. I still remember John Cena v. Umaga from the Royal Rumble 2007 and I feel that match made me want to accept that Umaga is very talented. I don’t regret that decision either.
Batista has been through a lot in his career, from being the Deacon during his days being aligned with D-Von, to being a part of an evolution with Triple H and company. Batista had a great rivalry with the Undertaker in 2007 and I wouldn’t mind seeing him mix it up with another man as powerful as he is this year. I fully expect that this match won’t see an end at Wrestlemania, but rather, a new beginning. You have two monsters wanting to prove superiority over one another and this one is not shaping to be a one time deal.
Belfast Brawl
Finlay vs. John “Bradshaw” Layfield
This is the second match that has a tendency to get downright ugly. Finlay and JBL are classic brawlers in their own right. Both men know how to put on a hardcore match and can do as much as Mick Foley can do and then some. This match came about because of the vile actions JBL did onto Hornswoggle, who was revealed to be Finlay’s son over the span of two weeks. JBL does have a slight edge and I mean slight because he is a former Texan bar fighter during his times in the APA and a multi-time Hardcore Champion.
The Belfast Brawl is pretty much one of the many terms WWE will use to classify a street fight, but the name is rather catchy. It does not have a complicated set of rules, like what TNA does for their stipulations. Although if Vince Russo were to book a fight between Finlay and JBL, you can see a shillelagh on a pole match with Hornswoggle locked up inside a mini-cage above the ring. To win that match, the person must retrieve the shillelagh and beat your opponent until he is decapitated enough to retrieve a key from the referee. Then, you have to scale a ladder and use the key to the cage to get Hornswoggle out before your opponent regains his composure. File that one away under the “Hope that never happens” file folder.
Don’t count Finlay out of this, however. He grew up in Ireland and is a true fighting machine. Finlay will give you everything he has and even more. Finlay’s abuse on Mr. Kennedy on a previous episode of RAW just shows that he will go as far as he has to go to show JBL that he made a grave mistake. The main question that you have to ask yourselves is will Finlay go too far to where his own aggression costs him the match?
BunnyMania Lumberjill Match
Special Master of Ceremonies: Snoop Dogg
Women’s Champ Beth Phoenix & Melina Perez vs. Maria Kannelis & Ashley Massaro
Was it too much to ask for the Women’s Title to not be on the line? Although the original plans were for Candice Michelle to regain her title, she had to go and re-break her clavicle. The injury bug bites bitterly hard these days, but you can’t go wrong with T&A.
Well, you can if you are the WWE. Beth Phoenix has no business being in this match because she is a powerhouse just like TNA’s ODB. She and Melina are apparently Santino Marella’s hired guns to show that Maria made the wrong move to pose for Playboy. But, this Lumberjill tag team match will be better because Maria isn’t quite ready to receive a shot at the Women’s Title. She has improved a lot in the ring, but she still has her moments at which she is not doing her best. Ashley looks like she lost a little too much weight and is a horrible replacement for Candice. Where was Mickie James? Last time I checked, Mickie has issues with BOTH Melina and Beth. Oh, that’s right. She hasn’t posed for Playboy…yet.
This match will do what it is intended to do…allow the fans to take a break from the hard hitting action, but there could have been some other uses for this slot. Perhaps a title defense? Take this under advisement.
ECW Championship
 Chavo Guerrero © vs. Winner of a 24 Man Battle Royale to take place before Wrestlemania 24
Look at how bad the ECW Title has been devalued since the reincarnation of ECW. I happen to agree with some of the crowd here at Pulse Wrestling and say that the ECW Title is much more like a blend of the Cruiserweight Championship and the X Division Championship from TNA. If there is a God, Tommy Dreamer wins the Battle Royale and becomes the new ECW Champion, but I would expect that it will be someone like Kane or The Great Khali. Kane winning the title would be cool in the aspect that it foretells the future of the Guerrero/Edge alliance.
This is sad; I talked more about BunnyMania than the ECW Championship match.
Career-Threatening Match
Ric Flair vs. Shawn Michaels
If the WWE were to do one thing right about Ric Flair’s retirement angle, this match would be the icing on the cake. This is the equivalent of Rock v. Austin, Hogan v. Michaels, Flair v. Steamboat, and any of the great matches that define icon v. legend. By all means, this SHOULD be the main event of Wrestlemania, but we all know what the actual main event will be. Either way, this match will simply be the match that will undoubtedly steal the show. Most within the IWC feel that this is the Goodbye song, but I think that is what the WWE wants us to think.
Ric Flair winning on the grandest stage in the most important match of his career would prove that he is indeed the man. Seeing that happen would be a warm feeling in Orlando. However, with Shawn Michaels taking the heel route this past week on RAW, calling Flair “Old Yeller” and saying that he would put him down, that was what was needed two weeks ago. There’s no way in Hell you turn Flair heel because that would be a disaster, especially if the fans won’t play along. Shawn is better at being the bad guy because of certain events throughout his career that made it easy for the hardcore fans to want to hate him.
Ultimately this match isn’t putting any younger talent over, but there are many other opportunities for them to strike while the iron is hot. This match will be a good old fashioned wrestling match, one that is few and far in between. Give this match enough time and show us what we have been missing for the past few years.
The Biggest vs. The Best
Floyd “Money” Mayweather, Jr. vs. The Big Show
I’m biased at the fact that it seems that the WWE has to do some kind of “attraction” type of match. I never really got into the feud between Floyd Mayweather and Big Show because I’m not really a boxing fan. Everyone and their mother are saying that the $20 Million payday that Mayweather is getting is a work, but I have to disagree slightly. It’s easy for the WWE to pay out $4 Million, which is a more workable figure since they have to disclose such information as they are a publicly traded company. Who’s to say that Vince isn’t paying him $10 Million out of his own pocket? $10 Million for a man like Vince is chump change. Also, when you factor in the additional revenue Mayweather stands to get from attendance, merchandise sales (Come on, you don’t think for one second that Mayweather may have some of his merchandise from boxing on sale at the Citrus Bowl?), DVD sales and PPV buys that could very well push the earnings to $20 Million or even more.
Something has to give. Big Show weighs around 300 pounds more than Mayweather. Sadly, when John Cena can beat Big Show and Great Khali, you tend to ignore any fact that mentions that someone outweighs the other. That just means that Big Show will take a lot of abuse from Mayweather and will dish some out. If Mayweather wins, it wouldn’t be the most embarrassing loss to Big Show. I just wonder if Mayweather’s posse will get involved in this match.
World Heavyweight Championship
Title versus Streak
Edge © vs. The Undertaker
The Undertaker is 15 and 0 going into this year’s Wrestlemania. Edge is a person that cashed in Money in the Bank twice and won the title each time. The buildup to this match was rather bland, with mainly history giving us the feel the match deserves. The match won’t be pretty and it may be dwelling into forgone conclusion territory, but who stands to lose the most out of this?
The Undertaker has his win streak that seems to never end. If he were to retire tomorrow, would he rather think to lose once and let someone get the ultimate rub of his career? The Undertaker is a company man, so he knows that he will do whatever is best for the company. However, he still can go and put on decent matches and he was deserved a lengthy title reign last year. That injury bug bites at the wrong times so it seemed. However, he’s ready to go.
Edge doesn’t stand to lose much from this. Most will disagree with me, but hear me out. Edge won the title at Armageddon amidst a controversy and it was known that the only match worthy of putting the World Title on the line on the biggest stage was a match between him and Undertaker. Edge will have Ryder and Hawkins as his aces in the hole, but in reality, he is just another statistic. Edge could end Undertaker’s winning streak, but that is easier said than done.
WWE Championship
Triple Threat Match
Randy Orton © vs. HHH vs. John Cena
While some things change, others stay the same. At Wrestlemania 22, John Cena surprised the IWC by making Triple H tap out to the STFU to retain the WWE Championship. This year, John Cena and Triple H are in the same match with the third man, Randy Orton, as the current reigning champion. The last time the WWE Title was contested in a Triple Threat Match was four years ago which pitted Triple H, Chris Benoit, & Shawn Michaels. Who lost that match? Triple H. With that said, either Sunday is his time or it will be another bitter defeat for him.
John Cena, the same man many of us in the IWC loathe for various reasons, he has made it back from injury a couple months ago. I’m not in the same boat as many in the IWC because I was one of Cena’s original supporters from his first week in the WWE. What person could go out there and give Kurt Angle a hard time in their first match and even earning the respect of the Undertaker for what he did? That man was John Cena. Ever since then, I told myself that he was going to be a champion someday. I was right. Forget that he has a bland moveset. Forget that he is a formula wrestler. John Cena still has years ahead of him and he will continue to do great things.
Now, onto our current Champion. Ever since Randy Orton dubbed himself as the One Man Dynasty, he has turned a very lackluster title reign and made it…well, not much better. However, Randy Orton is the same type of champion Triple H was back in his heel days, so you can’t complain for one second about him. Randy has turned back his challengers, whether it be by DQ or by beating them. He put on a good match against Jeff Hardy at the Royal Rumble, even knowing that he was getting his ass handed to him. He got by the challenges of Shawn Michaels and John Cena by disqualification.
The match itself poses some questions. Randy Orton doesn’t even have to be involved in the decision to cause him to lose the championship. With the wacky booking the last three weeks leading to Wrestlemania, you would believe that Orton still has his days numbered. Cena and Triple H have teamed up and would most likely team up to isolate Orton, but once Orton is down, they will come to blows. This match could very well be as great as the five star Triple Threat match from four years ago and this match is the best match to put on for the main event. Well, unless you’re a fan of classic wrestling and would rather see Flair/Michaels main event Wrestlemania.
Three Championships on the Line?
Sadly, the Intercontinental, U.S., World Tag Team, WWE Tag Team, and Women’s Championships won’t see defenses at the biggest show of the year. This factor may very well seal the deal for those that would buy the show for more title defenses. It’s unacceptable that the lesser titles aren’t being defended because there are actual matches that would do fine at a show like Wrestlemania. Let me briefly list them right here.
WWE Tag Team Championships
The Miz & John Morrison © v. Jesse & Festus v. Deuce & Domino v. Shannon Moore & Jimmy Wang Yang
Make this match a Tables, Ladders, & Chairs match and you would see lots of hard hitting, teeth knocking, jam-packed action as all four teams would do very well in that kind of scenario. You’d get people on the card and provide quality entertainment at the same time.
WWE World Tag Team Championships
Cody Rhodes & Hardcore Holly © v. Lance Cade & Trevor Murdoch v. Paul London & Brian Kendrick
Equally as good, but with the RAW Tag Division fighting the injury bug and trying to get time on the show, you can trust that these six men can put on a great bout that would also keep the fans entertained. The fact that both tag titles aren’t on the line is a disgrace to the company, especially when their competition has a more in-depth tag team division.
WWE Women’s Championship
Beth Phoenix © v. Mickie James
This one, I can actually let slide because of the untimely injury involving Candice Michelle. However, where has Mickie James been? She hasn’t been seen in the past few weeks. You could easily tie this to an angle where she is training hard to overcome the Glamazon and if she is unsuccessful, she would leave the WWE. You can point to her matches where she lost to Beth Phoenix and she goes mental because of it. This would be an awesome feud in the making and you’d take Beth Phoenix out of the Playboy spotlight and her concentrate on being like a badass Trish Stratus. Then again, since when WWE pays that much attention in the Women’s Division?Â
WWE United States Championship
Montel Vontanious Porter © v. Matt Hardy
This one irritates me. MVP and Matt Hardy had the best feud of 2007, as voted on by the people and staff at Inside Pulse and the WWE isn’t continuing this hot feud? MVP takes out Matt Hardy and puts him on the shelf. You wouldn’t need a month to set this match up. Matt Hardy could return two weeks away from Wrestlemania and demand to face the same man that put him on the shelf. There you go, instant match right there. Instead, MVP is being wasted away in a seven man ladder match.
WWE Intercontinental Championship
Chris Jericho © v. Santino Marella
When was the last time the Intercontinental Championship defended at Wrestlemania? Sources say 2001 when Chris Jericho retained the title over William Regal. Seven years later and where is the Intercontinental Championship? Who knows? Chris Jericho has the title, but his potential opponent got suspended for sixty days for being caught with a surprise piss test. I put Santino Marella in this because he’s the polar opposite of Chris Jericho and because there’s no one else that would be considered for contention. Anything to make the secondary titles seem important.
That’s five matches that could be added and would make a potential buyer seem interested. That would increase buys becaues people want to see titles being defended. It’s an easy concept, yet the WWE fails each year.
Closing Comments
There you have it. Wrestlemania 24 is set in stone and will be live on Pay-Per-View this Sunday night! Keep your website tuned to Pulse Wrestling from now until Sunday and beyond as we will have coverage of the biggest spectacle in sports entertainment. I will see you back here Monday night with the post-Wrestlemania RAW. Have a great weekend!
