Pulse Wrestling’s Real-Time Coverage of TNA Impact! – 4/3/08

10 days until Lockdown, and tonight we get a bit of a preview of Lethal Lockdown as AJ Styles and Tomko take on Rhino and Christian Cage. Also in store is Sting vs James Storm, last week during Impact Live, James Storm smashed a beer bottle on Sting’s skull, leaving him KO’d in the middle of the ring on his big return. What revenge will Sting extract? Find out by clicking here!

We open up to JB in the back, Cornette is yelling behind a door. Matches get announced for later on. It’s told that Matt Morgan allowed Team Tomko a 5th member in Lethal Lockdown.

Team Tomko comes down to the ring and announces their 5th member as James Storm. Damn I love his theme. Lots of AJ chants throughout the promo. Team Cage comes out before Storm can speak and Cage tells us he think Storm is semi-retarded! Tomko still has that black eye from last week. Anyways, Cage calls out Morgan who says Cage can get any partner he wants, out of the company, an MMA fighter, anyone.
Cage says he feels confident in his team enough to allow a 4 on 5 disadvantage, but he has one more ace up his sleeve. (Ace Steel?)

Angle backstage, he says the name Karen Angle doesn’t exist anymore. He says he’ll make sure Joe retires from wrestling if he loses at Lockdown. Eric Young pops up out of nowhere and says Super Eric is here tonight (yay!). Angle tells him that the only super hero is him.

Commercial

Weird ass promo between the Rock n Rave Infection and Black Reign and Rellik (He still works there?). Poor Rave, I bet he misses ROH. Or at least Prince Nana. They seemed to form some faction of jobbers called the Monsters of Rock. Get it? Har har.


Black Reign, Rellik, Jimmy Rave, Lance Hoyt vs Alex Shelly, Chris Sabin, Hernandez and Homicide

Sabin and Rave start it off, ROH! ROH! ROH! Fast paced back and forth action, think of a WCW crusierweight match shown on fast forward. Excellent double team to Rave by the Murder City Machine Guns. Homicide goes up top and nails a senton to Rave. Rellik and Black Reign in, botchy double teaming to Shelley and in comes Lance Hoyt before the commercial.

Back from the break Rave and Hoyt air guitar double elbow drop to Homicide. Rave goes up top and leaps off into a Manhattan Drop by ‘Cide, followed by an Ace Crusher. Hoyt stops Cide from tagging out but Hernandez gets the blind tag and leaps into the ring with a double clothesline. He totally cleans house and plants Rave with a big powerbomb for 2. MCMG with stereo suicide dives to the outside. ‘Cide with a dive to Hoyt. Hernandez with the Border Toss on Rave for the three
Winners: LAX, MCMG by pin

Rellik and Black Reign attack after the match, but Kaz runs out and stops them. Hoyt attacks Kaz and the heels gain ring dominance. Until cheesy super hero music begins to play and out comes Eric Young, in full costume (mask and all). He cleans house and poses for the camera.

Backstage with Sting: Sting says it’s really good to be back and that James Storm threw fuel into the fire with that beer bottle. He’s gonna make a star out of him.

Commercial

We come back to another crappy video package hyping BG James vs Kip James at Lockdown. At least it’s video packages and not them wrestling. But why in God’s name is BG being filmed in front of a playground?

Interview
with Awesome Kong and Cheerleader…..uh Siaeed. A bit of info is asked by Tenay, with stuff like Kong is from Japan, etc. When asked is there any Knockout that can bring Kong down, Siaeed answers no.

Commercial.

Backstage with James Storm and Jackie. Storm says he got sick of Rhino and Cage kissing up to each other the past few weeks, and they call him Broke Back. (Great line). He says he’s already famous and he’s sorry about Sting’s damn luck.

AJ Styles and Tomko vs Rhino and Christian Cage

Tomko and Cage start it off, They lock up but Tomko is being too aggressive and that leads to Cage catching Tomko with hits. AJ tries to attack Cage but gets thrown over the top rope. Tomko attempts to press Cage but Christian rolls out, tag to Rhino. Double team to Tomko and then AJ. Rhino and AJ start going at it, big dropkick to Rhino followed by a powerslam to AJ for a two count. Cage in, Cage fights off AJ, goes to Tomko in the corner but gets a poke in the eyes followed by a PELLE!!!!! (if Don West can do it, so can I).

Commercial.

Chokehold on Cage by AJ, Cage gets sent into the corner, tag to Tomoko. Cage fights out and tags to Rhino but the ref didn’t see it. Double team to Christian as Rhino argues. Christian tries to get another tag in but just can’t reach. Hurricarana by AJ for a two. Some screaming chick needs to STFU right now.

Tag to Tomko. Big suplex to Christian for a two. AJ in, huge DDT to AJ for a two count. That skank really needs to shut it. Tag to Rhino. AGAIN the ref doesn’t see it. So what does Rhino do?
GORE, GORE, GORE to the ref! Rhino kills AJ with a spinebuster, Tomko Attacks but Cage comes over then AJ. Unprettier to Tomko. An insane GORE to AJ that has him back flip onto his stomach. Team 3D hits the ring followed by Kevin Nash with a chair. Cornette runs in and calls for the bell.
Winners: Tomko and AJ Styles by DQ

Commercial

Backstage with Cornette and Morgan. He’s yelling at Morgan for his decision, Cornette makes him special guest ref for tonight.

Lethal and Socal Val update
: They’re in a hot tub and are about to kiss but Sonjay pops up from the water (ew?) out of nowhere and says he wants to see So Cal’s bikini.

Xscape Match Qualifier: Elix Skipper vs Shark Boy

ES still works for TNA? He starts off on Sharky with kicks but Shark Boy Steve Austin gets in the Austin Offense soon enough, Clothesline into a running bulldog. Big kick to Sharky followed by a belly to belly suplex for a two. Butterfly suplex. THOSE GIRLS NEED TO BE SILENT, THEY’RE SCREAMING FOR NO REASON!!!

Sharky gets crotched up on the top, Elix tries to walk the ropes but fails. Dropkick by Boy. Lou Thez Press with punches followed by a delayed elbow. Spin kick by Skipper but reversed into a hangsman neckbreaker. Skipper plants Sharky on the top rope chest first and climbs the opposite turnbuckle. Coast to coast leg drop to Sharky. Skipper goes up top again but gets crotched. Supper hurricarana followed by the Stunner.
Winner: Shark Boy

Backstage with Traci:
She’ll never forget the whipping she recieved and out of nowhere comes Velvet Sky and that other chick. They tell her she better watch her back.

Commercial Break

Payton Banks vs Traci Brooks

They catfight for awhile, begin a chop off, jiggle action, Backstabber to Traci for a two count. Crossfaces to the downed Knockout. Payton in full control. Oops, jinxed her. Traci fights back and spears Payton, big boot, and drags her to the corner. Traci leaps off the second and face plants Payton down for the three count.
Winner: Traci Brooks

Post Match: Velvet Sky and that other chick come out and attack Traci. Salina from LAX comes out to help, Jackie Moore runs in, followed by Roxxie (she still works for TNA?). Hemme comes in, followed by Sharmell with a whip and clears the ring of the heels.

Angle is shown walking towards the ring, we’re going to find out how he’ll make sure Joe retires if he loses at Lockdown.

Commercial.

Samoa Joe training video.

Angle comes out, Rey Mysterio entrance and all, and says he wants Joe to sign a legal document to make sure that he will retire from all wrestling, because Samoans are just lying SOBs.
Steiner’s music cues and he says he’s going to cash in his Money in The….Uh, I mean, whatever it is he has at Sacrifice.

JB backstage with Morgan and Cornette. Morgan gives his idea for a match for Lockdown. Cornette says no and to go ref the match. Thank God……Aw crap. Cornette steals Morgan’s idea as his own. Queen of the Cage match.

-Chicks surround the ring and battle to get inside the cage
-the first two inside have a match
-the winner is the Queen of the Cage
…..I hate you Russo. I really do.

Commercial

Sting vs James Storm

Sting takes Storm to the outside right away, slamming him head first into the announcer’s table and a hiptoss on the run way. Sting punches Storm into the crowd and tosses Mr. Broke Back into a wall, cracking it. And he does it one more time. Back to ringside and into the ring. Jackie tries to grab Sting’s leg but he kicks her away, allowing Storm to get the advantage. The drunk nails a nice DDT on the Stinger for a two count.

Commercial break

Storm rams Sting’s head into the turnbuckle but he no sells. Big back body drop to Stormer, but a poke to the eyes puts Sting’s momentum to a halt. Storm climbs up top but Sting with his own poke to the eyes, followed by a superplex for a near fall. Storm hits a nice enzuguri but Sting goes for the Scorpion Death Lock, only to get another poke in the eyes. Misses the Stinger Splash, Storm nails a reverse tornado DDT for a near fall. Sting ducks the superkick and locks in the Scorpion Deathlock!

Jackie gets up top and leaps off only for Morgan to catch her, she argues with him on the apron as Stormer hits a low blow to Sting. The baseball bat comes into play but Morgan takes it from Storm, and tosses it to Sting! Morgan turns around, Sting whacks Storm with the bat and nails the Scorpion Death Drop for the 3 count!
Winner: Sting


Post Match:
Team Tomko come out and surround Morgan, demanding an explanation. Team Cage comes running out and cleans out the ring. Christian rips off Morgan’s ref shirt to reveal a Team Christian shirt! Matt Morgan is the 5th man!!

End of show.

Comments/Notes/Etc.

Positives:
+ Traci looked SMOOOKIN tonight. Black and yellow really works for her, hell any color works for her.

+ Shark Boy vs Elix Skipper was pretty darn good for what it was

+James Storm cut a nice promo, mentioning Broke Back Mountain.

+ LAX and MCMG teaming up. Pure Win

+AJ Styles getting GORED by Rhino, it was magical.

Negatives:
– No Robert Roode this week?

-The screaming chicks during the middle of the show, they REALLY got annoying. Couldn’t the sound manager have done something to cover it? Even raise the announcer’s sound level over the crowds a bit more would have helped.

-BG James and Kip James being on TV at all.

-Queen of the Cage match idea

Overall: A pretty cool episode that really had good build up into Lockdown. Matt Morgan has been established as a commodity and worthy 5th man, he’ll probably have a match next week just to preview his stuff for Lockdown. It had some fast paced action with the 8 man tag, though it had no story or anything else other than pulling you in (which was it’s purpose anyway). Skipper vs Shark Boy was fun, Traci’s match was full of jiggle and Sting’s match was actually important! I’d give this a recommendation for a download if you haven’t watched it.

Good vibes,
Jesse

Tags:

Join our newsletter

never miss the latest news, reviews, live event coverage, audio podcasts, exclusive interviews and commentary for Movies, TV, Music, Sports, Comics, Video Games!