The SmarK 24/7 Rant for WWF Prime Time Wrestling – September 17 1987
– Oh man, this was a toughie. There’s TONS of great content available this week and I literally didn’t know where to start.
– Your hosts are Bobby Heenan and Gorilla Monsoon, who is pissy about the show now being on Thursday thanks to Bobby’s efforts. Heenan smugly reads letters from “fans” congratulating him on the move throughout the show, which is really funny in a low-key way.
Demolition v. Junkyard Dog & George Steele.
Well, this fits into the animal theme nicely, if nothing else. “Grab Them Cakes” survives intact here, for those who keep track. Like me. This has the potential to be a major, MAJOR trainwreck. Ax pounds on JYD to start, but gets bitten by George when he ventures to the face corner. Smash comes in, as does the Animal, and the Demos quickly take advantage of him and double-team. He comes back by biting Smash’s arm to block a clothesline, and JYD slugs Smash down for two. This has to be a really old match because the Demos are still using their old makeup design instead of the more complex one they switched to once they got over. Dog gets double-teamed with nothing too fancy and Dog & Smash clothesline each other so badly that I actually hang my head in embarrassment for everyone in the ring. JYD was just beyond awful at this point, and he’d get worse. Steele comes in to avenge his partner, but the Demos toss him and Animal hits Smash with a chair in response, prompting the DQ at 6:10. Just awful, as the faces wouldn’t sell for Demolition and obviously no one wanted to do the job. DUD
Jose Estrada v. Leaping Lanny Poffo
Must be another MSG episode. Jose attacks and quickly gets a forearm from the middle rope, then hits a kneelift and stomps him down. To the top for an elbow and he chokes Poffo out on the ropes. Nice dropkick gets two, and poor Lanny still can’t get his jacket off. Poffo comes back with a boot and gets the jacket off, then slugs away on the ropes, but Estrada gets a cheapshot and tosses him. Back in, Jose gets an avalanche while the boring chants start. Kneedrop misses and Poffo gets a superkick for two, but Estrada pounds him down again. Poffo with a sunset flip for two, but Estrada rakes the eyes and stomps away. Poffo comes back and chokes him out in the corner, then takes him down with a headscissors off a handstand, ala Trish Stratus. Jose knees him down again, however, as Gorilla critiques the refereeing job. Poffo fights back and misses a moonsault, as Jose was playing possum. Estrada misses a blind charge, however, and Poffo goes up again and this time finishes with a senton bomb at 7:42. Well, he’s almost as manly as Jeff Hardy, I guess. Pretty dull but not actively bad or anything. *
UPDATE! WITH CRAIG DEGEORGE!
Against all odds, Superstar Billy Graham is back from his hip surgery, but that bastard Butch Reed attacks him and goes after the hip. I think Reed is jealous because Graham is blacker than he is.
So the Bam Bam lottery has apparently gone to Slick, so let us take you back to WWF Superstars, as Slick introduces the world to Bam Bam Bigelow…but gets Oliver Humperdink instead, who announces that he’s Bam Bam’s actual manager. Gorilla and Bobby has a discussion about people getting “jobbed” out of this.
Ravishing Rick Rude v. SD Jones
Holy cow, this is from Philly and who should be sitting in the front row but Sign Guy and Hat Guy! Minus signs and hats, but it’s definitely them. Awesome bit to start as Jones ruffles Rude’s hair on the lockup, so Rude indignantly stops the match and demands a hairbrush from a ringside attendant…and gets one! Back to the lockup, but Jones tosses Rude around. Back to the hairbrush and Rude pounds Jones down, but falls victim to an atomic drop. Well, that has to happen in every Rick Rude match, it’s the law. So now Rude wants the test of strength, and Jones stupidly agrees. And we take a break at that point. Back with Jones fighting out of it and headbutting Rude into the corner, but a blind charge hits boot. Rude follows with a suplex for two, but he doesn’t want the pin yet. And we hit the chinlock. Rude goes up with the fistdrop for two, but still doesn’t want it. And it’s back to the chinlock. Rude Awakening only gets two because it wasn’t his finish yet, and he didn’t want the pin anyway. Rude misses a blind charge, but Jones’ comeback goes nowhere and Rude finishes with the body vice at 11:13. Total snooze. 1/2*
Randy Savage v. Tiger Chung Lee
From WWF [redacted] of Wrestling. Savage was into his tweener mode at this time, still beloved by Jesse Ventura but also cheered on by Vince as well. If we ever manage to figure out what Bruno is saying I’ll add his opinion, too. Savage attacks to start, but Tiger stomps him in the corner. Savage comes back with a kneedrop for two, but Lee fires back and Savage has to bail. Back in, Macho with a kneelift for two, but Lee slams him and goes up. Savage slams him off the top and finishes with the big elbow at 2:42, which would become his trademark babyface finishing sequence. Honky Tonk Man cuts a promo about how he’s the greatest IC champion of all-time (the first time that he started that particular catchphrase) and Savage heads to the back to smack Jimmy Hart around for suggesting that Savage might be second in line to Honky. And that was the start of their feud.
– Meanwhile, the British Bulldogs give us dog care tips.
Outback Jack & SD Jones v. Two Even Bigger Jobbers
They don’t announce the names of the opposition here. Jones is getting a lot of exposure this week, for some reason. Outback finishes one of the jobbers with the boomerang clothesline at 3:44. I’ve got better things to do than recapping this match.
Bam Bam Bigelow v. Nikolai Volkoff
Man, they’re blowing off the feud started in the interview earlier in the show already. Bigelow dumps Volkoff to start and does a cartwheel to celebrate, then takes him down with a shoulderblock back in the ring. They slug it out and Bigelow headbutts him down, then follows with a clothesline. Volkoff goes to the eyes, but Bammer dropkicks him out of the ring. Back in, Bigelow headbutts him out again, and back in another headbutt finishes at 3:56. Just totally destroyed Volkoff here. 1/2* Jesse raises a good point here: Who would seriously cheer for a troll like Oliver Humperdink?
Intercontinental title: Honky Tonk Man v. Tito Santana
Honky immediately runs away and he’s just drawing crazy heat this week. Tito finally catches him with a pair of slams and the crowd goes nuts for it, as Honky bails and gets his hair checked over by Jimmy. Back in, Honky gets a hiptoss, but misses an elbow and Tito unloads on him. Another slam sends Honky running again, but he grabs an armbar in the ring and pounds on it. Tito reverses and the crowd pops like he got the pin or something. This must have been early in the Superstars taping. Tito goes into an atomic drop and rams Honky’s head into the turnbuckle, then stomps him down and follows with a backdrop. Kneedrop gets two, and we take a break. Back with Tito pounding him in the corner, but Honky goes low to take over. Axehandle to the midsection gets two. Snapmare gets two, and he goes to the abdominal stretch. Tito hiptosses out and slugs him down, then hits the flying forearm on the rebound. He goes to the figure-four to finish, but Jimmy runs in for the DQ at 10:46. Saw that finish coming from a mile down the road. Usual good Tito match. ***
