Pulse Wrestling’s Real-Time Coverage of WWE RAW for 4/7/2008

We are two weeks into the Age of Orton.  With challengers coming left and right, can Randy fend off every last challenger and solidify his status as the most profilic WWE Champion in this decade?  Find out by clicking through to check it out!

We open up with William Regal inside the ring announcing the WWE Championship match to take place at WWE Backlash.  He brings out the champion, Randy Orton.  Last week, he decreed that we are living in the Age of Orton.  William Regal introduces the “most deserving #1 Contender in WWE History”, John Bradshaw Layfield.  That gets no reaction as we’re set for a heel v. heel title match.  JBL asks for Orton’s hand for a shake, but Orton doesn’t oblige.  Regal gets to talk for about ten seconds and we’re interrupted by Triple H.  He gets a huge chant going as he gets on the microphone.  He needs clarification on this matter.  He asks Regal if he is out of his mind.  While he was busy last week, Orton says that he retained the title at Wrestlemania by beating nobody.  Hunter goes emo on everyone saying that all JBL done since returning to active competition was beating around a midget.

Regal has a perfect solution.  All Triple H has to do is to beat JBL and Randy in a handicap match to make the match a Triple Threat.  That pisses off JBL and Orton, but it does make for some good entertainment.

Commercials.

Welcome back and Umaga returns to action tonight!  They brought Val Venis in tonight and this will be a doozy.

Val Venis v. Umaga
Standard Match

Umaga wastes no time taking it to Val, but he misses a big splash and Val gets some offense in.  Throat jab by Umaga connects and he separates the shoulder.  The tide turns quickly.  Stiff kick to the back and Umaga puts on the neck pinch.  That rejuvenates Val and he gets the TOMAHAWK CHOP.  Back to the nerve pinch and Val fights back once again.  Samoan Drop connects and it is seemingly over.  Umaga sets up for the Rear End Collision and tosses some punches as well.  He goes for the Collision and he hits it!  “You Tapped Out” Chants directed at Umaga for no good reason.   Samoan Spike connects and that is over.

Winner:  Umaga
Grade:  D+

“Did Shawn Michaels do the right thing at Wrestlemania?”  Text Yes or No to 44993.

Batista and HBK are on Jericho’s Highlight Reel tonight!

Commercials.

We’re back and Mickie James is BACK!  Time for some diva tag action.

Melina & Jillian v. Mickie James & Ashley
Divas Tag Match

Jillian and Ashley start out and Ashley gets a sunset flip for two.  Melina takes advantage of a distracted Jack Doan to take Ashley down.  Melina gets a cover for two and Mickie interrupts.  Ashley tags to Mickie and she goes to town!  Clothesline to Melina, Dropkick to Jillian and Melina is smart.  She does the double knee drop on Mickie’s shoulder.  Jillian takes her own parter out and Mickie does the Screaming DDT for the three!

Winner:  Ashley & Mickie James
Grade:  C-

Coming up next, a repeat of Flair’s Farewell.

Commercials.

We are back and we go back to last week for Flair’s Farewell. 

Commercials.

Wrestlemania 25 is 363 days away!

Welcome back and it is time for another tag team match.  J.R. takes a shot at TNA’s tag division and I don’t care.

Lance Cade & Trevor Murdoch v. Brian Kendrick & Paul London
Tag Team Match

Time isn’t wasted as London and Kendrick go after the cowboys to no avail!  Beautiful dropkick to a moonsault by London!  Cade takes it to London for two.  The ring is cut in half as Murdoch gets into the match.  Stiff kicks and the elbow drop gets two.  Cade is back in and he nails a stinging chop to London.  Headlock into a crossface is applied  and London is kept away from Kendrick.  Closed fist connects, but a running thrust misses.  That buys London time to tag in Kendrick.  Murdoch is taken down and Cade botches a powerbomb.  They go for the Hi-Lo, but Kendrick rolls Murdoch up for three!

Winners:  Brian Kendrick & Paul London
Grade:  C

Murdoch explains to Cade what happened and it seems that we are in a meltdown.

Orton is getting ready as JBL walks in.  Orton reads his mind.  He tells JBL to stay out of his way.  The Handicap match is NEXT!

Commercials.

Tomorrow Night on ECW:  Kane has to deal with Chavo Guerrero and CM Punk.

The handicap match is two-on-one rules and the heels are already in the ring!

Triple H v. Randy Orton & John Bradshaw Layfield
2-on-1 Handicap Match; If Triple H wins, the Backlash WWE Title Main Event becomes a Triple Threat Match

The bell rings and it seems that it will actually be 2-on-1 Tag rules.  That’s what I get for listening to Lillian Garcia.  The match starts with Triple H taking it to Randy Orton.  Orton takes Triple H down and he shoves him to his partner.  William Regal is standing idly by at ringside as JBL tags in.  They lock up and JBL talks trash to Trips.  Trips is smiling as JBL backs off.  They lock up and Trips gets JBL down with a headlock.  Back up and Orton tags himself in and they beat Trips down.  Behind the ref’s back, JBL stomps a hole in Triple H.  JBL plays dumb, but the referee isn’t dumb.  Orton takes Triple H down for two!  Orton picks away at random body parts and gets another two count.  JBL is back in and JBL steps on Trip’s hand.  Neckbreaker connects, followed by a series of elbow drops for two!  Orton tags back in and he takes it right to Trips in the corner.  The two men brawl now and Orton gets a powerslam for TWO!  JBL is back in  and he kicks away.  They brawl with Triple H getting into the sleeper!  He tries to fight out of it and is successful.  Knee Smash to JBL and Trips is drained!  Rights to JBL and he gets sent to the corner.  JBL goes for the Clothesline to Hell, but Orton tags in!  Orton goes for the RKO, but Trips sends Orton into JBL!  PEDIGREE!  Triple H gets the three!

Winner:  Triple H
Grade: B+

William Regal announces the match as a Triple Threat, but John Cena has something to say about that!  Cena congratulates him and he has a proposition.  Cena says how he beat all three of them.  He says that Randy beats everybody, innuendo and all.  John Cena proposes a Fatal Four Way for the WWE Championship!  JBL is pissed off and William Regal seems to like the idea.  But Cena must pass a similar test, facing JBL & Triple H in a handicap match!

Later tonight:  The Highlight Reel!

Commercials.

We are back and it’s time for non-title Tag Team action!

Hardcore Holly & Cody Rhodes v. Carlito & Santino Marella
Non-Title Tag Match

The bell sounds and Santino says he is a man.  HAHA!  Carlito gets a wrist lock, but Cody TRIPS THE LEG and gets a wrist lock of his own.  Tag to Holly and Carlito is double-teamed.  Marella gets tagged in and gets owned by Holly.  Alabamaslam by Holly is BLOCKED and Carlito fakes getting in and he DDT’s Holly.  The referee notices this and Santino gets back in.  Carlito tags in a moment later and he takes it to Holly.  Marella gets back in the ring and he flexes his imaginary pecks.  He nails a shot at Holly’s back before Carlito comes in and suplexes his way to a two count.  Headlock is applied on Holly, but Carlito elects to do more damage for another two count.  Lefts from Carlito and he is sent to the ropes.  Holly gets a two count.  Tag to Holly and Marella and Rhodes nails the fist to te face.  Marella dodges a bullet and Cody hangs Marella out to dry.  Carlito distracts long enough for the Italian Salute Headbutt for three!

Winners:  Santino Marella & Carlito
Grade:  B

Still to come:  Cena v. JBL/HHH

Commercials.

We are back and it is time for the Wrestlemania Clearance Sale, brought to you by Cryme Tyme!  They eye Maria’s Playboy Magazine.  They have a pair of Mae Young’s thong.  They make some money, go figure. 

We go back to last week where Khali stands up to the Big Show.  Last Friday, Khali destroyed the SmackDown Tag Division and Big Show returns the favor. 

JBL tries to play the same trick with Triple H, but he was listing to his iPod.  He asks why no one listens to him and Trips responds that he is an ass.  The fun begins.

Commercials.

The night is complete with Maria coming out to the ring with a hot black & white outfit.  Her opponent is the Women’s Champion.  Time to get serious.

Maria v. Beth Phoenix
Non-Title Divas Match

The bell rings and Beth overpowers Maria.  SLAP to the face by Maria!  The offense lasts for a moment until Beth makes it a point to suplex her near the ropes.  Baseball slide knocks her on the outside.  Back inside we go and Beth looks for the best variation of a reverse backbreaker!  Maria plays possum and rolls Beth up for two!  Maria fights back and she hits a headscissors!  Cross Body hits, but Beth rolls through and looks for the Fisherman Suplex, but MARIA COUNTERS TO A NECKBREAKER FOR TWO!  TWO!  Beth hangs Maria out on the top rope and she hits the Fisherman’s Suplex for the three.

Winner:  Beth Phoenix
Grade:  B-

Up next:  The Highlight Reel!

Commercials.

Tomorrow Night on ECW:  Contract singing between Kane and Chavo!

Time for the Highlight Reel!  He has the biggest Highlight Reel tonight!  He brings out Batista first, followed by the man of many names, Shawn Michaels!  Jericho brings up the poll and the fans say that Shawn did the right thing at Wrestlemania.

Shawn isn’t going to be Mr. Bad Guy and he makes that point clear.  Jericho brings up the Asai Moonsault that missed Flair.  Jericho plays up the ending of the match and he asks if Shawn is really sorry.  Batista chimes in and he calls him full of ego.  Jericho asks if Batista would had done the same thing.  Shawn references him as DAVE, asking him where his friendship was at the weeks leading to Wrestlemania.  He says that the reason that Flair didn’t ask Batista was that he couldn’t handle it.  Shawn says that Flair trusted him with carrying the burden.  Batista gets pissed off saying that he trusted Shawn to do the right thing.  He calls him out to do something about it and they stand face to face.  Batista ends this with this remark:  “I already have.”  Batista leaves with boos as we take a commercial.

Commercials.

William Regal just got off the phone with Vickie Guerrero.  Batista v. Shawn Michaels is booked for Backlash.  Orton demands respect and Regal says that as champion he should take on all comers.  Next week, he books himself against Orton in a battle of respect when RAW comes to us from London, England!

And just like an hour ago, Triple H and JBL are already in the ring as Cena makes his appearance.

John Cena v. Triple H & John Bradshaw Layfield
2-on-1 Handicap Match;  If Cena wins, he’s added to the Backlash WWE Title Match.

JBL starts things off as Randy Orton makes his appearance.  Cena is taken out of his game early on  as JBL takes it to him.  JBl gets a two count.  Cena is in trouble as JBL hits a DDT for two!  Trips wants a tag, but JBL ignores him.  “Cena Sucks” chants from the vocal few that are near the audio.  Meanwhile it is one-on-one as Cena fights back!  He misses a charge and Orton coaches JBL. Trips asks for a tag, but JBL says “screw you.”  JBL continues on beating Cena, but Cena fights back and is tossed on the outside!  Clothesline by JBL on the outside as the referee is counting.  Inside the ring, JBL gets a two count.

JBL applies a nerve pinch on the neck as Orton talks trash to him.  He continues to keep Cena grounded, but Cena is Superman!  He breaks out of it and he misses a big boot!  Shouldertackle to JBL and he now wants a tag, but Trips declines it!  The Throwback and the Boston Side Slam connects!  Five Knuckle Shuffle and Orton is pissed off!  JBL tries to get a tag, but Trips tells him to do it yourself.  FU try and JBL floats over and he gets a big boot!  Things break loose as JBL and Trips fight it out!  JBL knocks Orton loopy and the referee gains some control.  Orton RKO’s JBL and Cena picks up the win.  So, Orton hated the idea of Cena possibly being added to the match and he helps him get into the match.  What a wacky philosophy.

Winner:  John Cena
Grade:  B-

Randy raises the title as we go off the air.

The WWE RAW Report Card

Umaga d. Val Venis (D+)
Ashley & Mickie James d. Melina & Jillian (C-)
Brian Kendrick & Paul London d. Lance Cade & Trevor Murdoch (C)
Triple H d. Randy Orton & John Bradshaw Layfield (B+)
Carlito & Santino Marella d. Hardcore Holly & Cody Rhodes (B)
Beth Phoenix d. Maria (B-)
John Cena d. Triple H & John Bradshaw Layfield (B-)
Extra Credit:  The Highlight Reel

The Final Grade for WWE RAW 4/7/2008:  B-

Before You Leave…

Pulse Glazer is a lucky man for getting to interview the hottest woman in professional wrestling, Sara Del Rey.
Lord Eric S. puts the IWC back in its place on the day of the Fool’s.
Mark Allen talks Ric Flair.  Thank you Ric!
Check out Tailgate Crashers for your baseball fix, Moodspins for your Campaign 2008 related information, and everywhere else because you’ll thank yourself later for being more informed.

That’s all from me.  If things go well, I’ll be back Friday with the Marshall Report where I’ll talk about things that haven’t been done to death, possibly the news story involving a four year old killing his two year old sibling intimating a WWE wrestling move and how WWE’s latest marketing strategy to kids may need to take a hiatus.  Stay tuned for that and a whole lot more!

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