Tonight is the final Impact before the Lockdown PPV (which I’ll be attending!). We have a preview of Lethal Lockdown in Kevin Nash and Sting vs Team 3D, plus a possible final Xscape match qualifier and much more. Who said Queen of the Cage was a bad idea, it’s Impact time!
Out comes Team Tomko. Hey, a Nigel McGuinness shirt!
Bubba promo’s on Team Cage, he blames Sting and Nash for killing WCW(why should he care?). Team Christian comes out. Double C calls Bubba “Hillary Clinton in a fat suit”, but wait, “Hillary Clinton has bigger balls”. TNA just hates Hillary. That’s at least the third hate reference I’ve seen in the past four shows (Good thing I don’t support Hill!)
Team Cage rushes the ring and Team Tomko bails out.
Backstage with Joe: Joe is wearing a suit for once, and agrees to Angle’s terms on leaving wrestling (not just TNA!) if he loses at Lockdown. Looks like I’m going to see a title change.
Ring of Honor commercial!!!
Angle backstage with JB and says he beat Joe 3 out of 4 times (thats 75%!). Joe only has a 25% chance of winning, however he does have a 100% chance of tapping out.
Consequences Creed video package
Jimmy Rave vs Consequences Creed
R&R Infection cuts a promo but I can’t hear what they say over their damn annoying theme song. Creed comes out to an ok ovation.
Creed in control thanks to Rave’s nonstop taunting. Rave hits a nice STO followed by a shining wizard. Creed comes back with a summer sault clothesline. Hoyt distracts the ref, allowing Rave to roll up Creed but only gets a two count. Creed with Road Dogg punches and nails a sweet wrist clutch DDT for the win.
Winner: Consequences Creed
Backstage with Lethal: Sonjay interrupts Lethal with asking So Cal out for shopping. Gay.
Tenay and Don West run through the Lockdown card.
Cornette is on commentary! He says he relieved Matt Morgan of his TNA Management duties (probably because he booked Queen of the Cage) and since he can’t be both a booker and a wrestler, he’s only a wrestler now (right Nash?).
Morgan is backstage, and says he can take 100% (Is percent the writer’s favorite word of the week or is this some kinda inside joke or something?) of the roster.
Weird video package showing Petey Williams and Scott Steiner’s time together. It does nothing but show that Russo likes gay fetish porno.
Petey Williams & Scott Steiner vs Motor City Machine Guns
Sabin destroys Petey in the opening seconds, tag to Shelley. Great fast paced double teaming, including stereo kicks to Steiner. Tag to Sabin. Steiner distracts Sabin with a shot from behind, allowing Petey to get in some offense. Raka Khan makes her way down to the ring holding a bag, whats in the bag?
Steiner drops the elbows and does some push ups. Belly to belly suplex to Sabin. Petey in. Sabin fights back and tags to Shelley. Really nice superkick to the Canadian steroid. Tornado DDT followed up by a frog splash by Alex. Sabin dropkicks Steiner out of the ring. Sabin runs off the ropes and they hit an insane double team reverse DDT for a near fall. Sabin suicide dives to the outside but misses Steiner. Alex gets distracted, turned around, Canadian Destroyer.
Winners: Team Steroids
Post Match: Steiner says it’s time for the final challenge. Scotty takes scissors out of the bag and tells Petey he has to cut his hair. Steiner cuts off the pony tail and shaves the rest of his hair off. They high-five (very nice!) and Steiner gives him a head dress.
Video package showing the Samoa Joe/Kurt Angle history.
Angle comes out, reminds us of the contract and that Joe must retire from ALL wrestling (not just TNA!) if he loses. Joe signs and they shake hands.
Backstage with ODB and Gail Kim. They say they’ve put their differences behind them and are going to work together to take out Kong. ODB says she’s going to take off Siaeed’s “blanket” and have an ugly contest with her. Joy.
Angelina Love vs Roxxi Laveaux
AL with control early on. Nice chin breaker to Roxxi, followed by a cross body and some head pounding for a two count. Roxxi gets back into the match with a big clothesline and a great roaring elbow (thats shades of Misawa!) and a big boot. She covers AL but Velvet Sky is distracting the ref. Angelina gets sent into Velvet and gets a Voodoo Drop for the win.
Winner: Roxxi Laveaux
Backstage with Super Eric: Super Eric calls out Black Reign
Yet another frickin video package for BG vs Kip.
Black Reign vs Super Eric
Screw you TNA, only Chris Hero can come from Metropolis. I’m rooting for Reign now.
Reign assaults Eric for awhile. Reign hits a type of pedigree thing and some stupid female fan keeps screaming. Death valley driver by Super Eric and this travesty is over early.
Winner: Super Eric
Post Match: Rellik(that’s Killer backwards!) attacks, him and Reign cuff Eric up SE. Kaz hits the ring and clears out the monsters. Out comes Rock and Rave Infection. SE breaks the cuffs and cleans house of the heels.
Video package for Robert Roode/Booker T(NA) history.
Video package for Queen of the Cage match. ugh.
Video package hyping Lockdown as a whole.
Backstage with Sting + Nash: Sting says Bubba marks for himself. At least Nash is honest by saying “Me? I’m in it for the money.” Thanks a lot Russo, the truth is finally said.
Nash takes it to D-Von with his three moves. Hip attack in corner, stalling, and the elbow in the corner. Tag to Sting. D-Von starts gaining momentum with fists. The Stinger regains control with a shoulder block. Tag to Bubba. Sting unleashes on Bubba with fists and chops and some biting in the corner. But Bubba gets a splash in the corner. Sting no sells and caps off on Brother Ray, big back suplex but the Stinger Splash misses. Tag to D-Von and we have to take a commercial break.
Back from the break, Bubba has a headlock secured on the Stinger. Sting fights out, and stops a double team attempt with a clothesline that takes out both brothers. Tag to Nash. Down goes Bubba, down goes D-Von, big boot to Bubba, sidewalk slam to D-Von. All four men in the ring now and both Dudleys are sent into the corner. Nasher Splash, Stinger Splash. Scorpion Death Lock to D-Von, choke slam to Bubba.
Team Tomko hits the ring before any decision can be made.
Winners: Sting + Kevin Nash by DQ.
Post Match: Team Cage hits the ring. James Storm to the ring. Matt Morgan to the ring and he cleans house. Jackie runs down and leaps up, then gets taken down and thrown over the top rope onto Team Tomko below.
Total chaos everywhere, Rhino hits a big Gore to AJ that sends him flying. We cut out of all the madness to a music video hyping Lockdown.
End of Show
+ A fan had a Nigel McGuinness shirt on
+ ROH commercials for tomorrow night’s show in Boston!(Which I’m going to)
+ More Hillary Clinton insults
– Most of the matches were terrible
– Each match was sandwiched in with what seemed like three to four promos.
– Nothing really special happened other than Nash admitting he’s only in it for the paycheck.
Overall: Uh yeah, somehow I’m less excited for Lockdown than I was before seeing this. Not an impressive night at all, I was staring at the clock waiting for it to strike 11 most of the time. Maybe I’m being a bit to harsh, but I really didn’t think this was a good show. There was no good humor, no good matches, it was a generic show. Oh, and not every match for a PPV needs a video package dammit.
Good vibes everyone.