The SmackDown Report

Long day for me. Work from 10-7, then only got home at 10. Thanks to the power of chocolate and sprinkle covered cookies, I’m still somewhat energetic.

Tonight it’s one of the more memorable looking SmackDown Main Events in a [b]long[/b] time; Festus vs. The Undertaker. Man, if that isn’t entertaining, I’m going to buy a hat and eat it.

The Great Khali and some Indians are dancing in the ring. Apparently, it’s a peace offering to The Big Show. Believe it or not, but The Big Show interrupts the segment and Khali begins some peace offerings. They’re playing some weird music in the background which really adds nothing to this cruddy segment. Big Show handshakes Khali before then knocking Khali out with a right hand.

Commercials.

John Morrison and The Miz vs. Shannon Moore and Jimmy Wang Yang
Morrison and Moore begin. Moore shoves Morrison. Lock up and Morrison shoves Moore into the corner before doing a grind … Okay, I’m back. Morrison with a headlock on Moore, shoulder block off the ropes. Morrison calls Moore a virgin – ha! Moore with a two count school boy on Morrison. Moore with a nice hurricanrana on Morrison, Moore covers but Morrison’s foot is on the bottom rope. Yang in with a dropkick to Morrison. Yang with a suplex. Yang with the ten count punch attempt in the corner, Morrison pushes Yang off and clotheslines Yang down. Miz tagged in. Miz with a two or so count on Yang. Yang flips through a backdrop attempt and kicks Miz down for a brief pinfall attempt. Yang with a suplex, Moore in with a nice senton to Miz. Miz sends Moore throat first into the second rope, nails a few hooks before Morrison boots Moore right in the head. Miz flips Moore into a right hand by Moore, who then falls into a backbreaker from Miz and Morrison jumps over the top rope with a nice elbow drop to finish the sequence. Morrison covers for a two count.

Morrison with a sleeper variation on Moore, Moore looks to escape but Morrison slams Moore right back down. Miz back in with the fancy corner clothesline to Moore. Morrison back in with the nice spinning leg drop to Moore for a two count – in a nice little touch, even hooking both legs of Moore. Morrison with a scoop slam to Moore, adding a very nice and dramatic pose afterwards, but Moore kicks him right in the head. Morrison collides with the Corner and Yang is tagged in! Yang with a clothesline, dropkick, trip and boot to the back of Morrison’s head for a two count. Yang off the second turnbuckle with a missile dropkick, and Miz breaks a three count attempt. Morrison with a nice springboard kick to Yang for a two count, very close to the three! Miz tags back in as Morrison gets sent out – Miz sneaks up on Yang and nails an awesome neck breaker to Yang for the three count!
Winners: The Miz and John Morrison

Very nice opening match. Moore was in there for a bit too long, and Yang wasn’t in there for long enough, but that’s my only complaint about this match. Morrison brought some very nice little things to the match as well. Six out of Ten.

Theodore Long is with Edge and Vickie as they get massages. Right.

Commercials.

Finlay w/ Hornswoggle vs. Matt Striker
About time Finlay is back on SmackDown. Lock up and Finlay gets a headlock on Striker. Finlay off the ropes with a shoulder block. Uppercut to Striker. Hornswoggle gets Striker with a watergun, allowing Finlay to hook the arm and nail the short arm clothesline. Striker gets some offence in, surprisingly, and dropkicks Finlay to the apron. Striker goes after the arm, getting a one count on Finlay. Finlay with the rolling senton. Clotheslines to Striker, Finlay flips Striker into the corner before nailing a short arm clothesline. Finlay with the butt drop to the gut of Striker for a failed pinfall. Striker drops Finlay into the second rope and sends him outside. Striker goes for the baseball slide and OLD SCHOOL FINLAY! Finlay pulls the ring apron up! Cole says that Finlay does that every match – maybe I haven’t been paying much attention to RAW, but I can’t remember the last time Finlay did that. Shenanigans happen with water, some attempt to be humour or something. Finlay charges at Striker in the corner, Striker evades and Finlay collides with the steel post and Striker gets a two count with the school boy. Shillelagh shot by Finlay ends this.
Winner: Finlay

Even with the Hornswoggle bull, this was an alright one-sided wrestling match. Not entirely a squash, surprisingly. Tadpole splash to Striker post match. Two out of Ten.

Commercials.

Victoria makes her way on out with SmackDown’s newest Diva, and her best friend, Natalya Neidhart. I wasn’t a fan of the name Nattie, but what was wrong with Natalie? We see footage of Jim “The Anvil” Neidhart in active. Neidhart’s voice is pretty deep. She says the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, and she sends a message to all divas on SmackDown – when you mess with the best, you go down with the rest. Victoria and Neidhart could make a pretty good team. Could.

Victoria w/ Natalya Neidhart vs. Michelle McCool
Mc tries going after Neidhart to start. Mc takes it right to Victoria as well. Mc with a clothesline to Victoria, following up with mounted punches. Mc with a low dropkick to Victoria. Victoria evades a baseball slide and gets hit with a clothesline. Back in the ring, Victoria clotheslines Mc. Victoria with a hair grab gory special. Mc jumps over Victoria in the corner and follows with a hair takedown. Mc begins going up top but Victoria stops her and the pair go off the turnbuckles with a superplex; Victoria covers Mc for a two count. Victoria runs into a big boot by Mc, and Mc follows up with a nice flipping neck breaker. Neidhart throws her jacket at Mc, giving Victoria the distraction she needs to roll Mc up in a package using the tights. Victoria gets the three count.
Winner: Victoria

I really do wish that they’d give Michelle and Victoria a good eight or so minutes one of these days, as that match was almost criminally short. These two work really well together. However, this match was rushed and over in about two minutes. One out of Ten. SmackDown Diva Standards.

Commercials.

Michael Cole is in the ring, and hypes up Batista vs. Shawn Michaels at Backlash. Awesome video package recapping the last few weeks of this feud. Cole introduces Batista first, and Michaels second. Cole leaves the ring since Batista feels they don’t need an interviewer. Michaels says it’s not about what happened at WrestleMania because people have moved on, except for Batista. Michaels begins thinking it’s not about WrestleMania, he has a problem with Shawn Michaels. Batista says it’s not all about Ric, and that he does have a problem with Shawn. Batista says he sees through it all and says that Shawn Michaels hasn’t changed one bit. Batista respects everything that Michaels has accomplished – but not how he got to the top. By holding people down and stabbing people in the back. Batista says while he isn’t a saint, he had the nerve to speak the truth into the person’s eyes. Michaels says that Batista gets that luxury because of his size and build, but Michaels doesn’t have the size or the build. Michaels says he’s sacrificed his body, put in through tables, taken shortcuts, but Michaels mans up with Batista and says face to face – come Backlash, Michaels will knock Batista’s teeth right down his throat. Both drop their microphones, and Michaels teases a Sweet Chin Music – Batista goes for a Batista Bomb but Michaels escapes. Short, sweet, right to the point. Awesome. Nice to see them adding even more layers to this feud.

Still to come: Festus vs. The Undertaker.

Commercials.

Vladimir Koslov vs. Matt Logan
Koslov has control of the match, and shows a little bit more promise than he did last week. Koslov ends it with a rather stern reverse DDT.
Winner: Vladimir Koslov

Squash. -Five out of Ten.

Edge and Vickie are getting facials and pedicures. That’s pretty gay, even by my super gay standards. Edge has big feet, and actually suits red nail polish … But, the real story here is the big feet.

Commercials.

Montel Vontavious Porter makes his way out to raise commentating standards!

Matt Hardy vs. Chuck Palumbo
Palumbo with a headlock takedown on Hardy, while Porter praises JBL and Cole while calling Cole and Coach the worst announcing team of all time. Hardy with a head scissor’s takedown but Palumbo with another headlock takedown. Palumbo off the ropes with a shoulder block. Palumbo returns to the headlock, Hardy escapes and turns it into a hammerlock. Palumbo gets Hardy into the corner for an elbow shot. Palumbo with offence in the corner. Hardy fights Palumbo off briefly, but Palumbo regains control and nails a chop in the corner. Palumbo with a snap mare to Hardy. Palumbo with a facelock on Hardy. Palumbo with a scoop slam, misses an elbow drop. Hardy with an enziguri. Hardy clotheslines he and Palumbo to the outside. Porter distracts Hardy, allowing Palumbo to attack Hardy from behind.

Commercials.

We’re back and Palumbo nails Hardy with a overhead belly to belly for a two count. Palumbo returns to the facelock Palumbo with a big time back drop to Hardy for a two count. Hardy with clubs to Palumbo, Palumbo off the ropes with a big boot for a two count pinfall. Palumbo with knees to the spine of Hardy and he returns to the dreaded facelock. Again. Hardy grabs onto the ropes and Palumbo runs into a big boot. Hardy gets the Side Effect for a two count! Hardy and Palmumbo exchange shots, with Hardy getting the better and adding some knees to the head of Palumbo. Hardy gets the corner clothesline and goes for a bulldog, but Palumbo shoves Hardy into the opposite corner. Palumbo charges but Hardy gets out of the corner and Palumbo hit’s the steel post. Hardy off the second turnbuckle with the elbow, which doesn’t take Palumbo down fully but a second rope leg drop does. Hardy covers for a two count. Hardy goes for the Twist of Fate but Palumbo sends him into the ropes and Palumbo catches him with a big slam for a two count, very close to a three. Palumbo lifts Hardy on his shoulders but Hardy falls behind and nails the Twist of Fate for the victory!
Winner: Matt Hardy

These two work well together, this was a good match that‘s really all that needs to be said. If they ever want to have MVP / Hardy be a triple threat match without adding Finlay, then Chuck Palumbo needs to be the man. Six out of Ten.

Eve Torres is going to interview Festus re: his match with Undertaker …

Commercials.

Eve Torres is backstage with Jesse and Festus. Jesse says that he doesn’t know what to say, he’s never seen Festus like this, and frankly he hopes he’s prepared. Jesse’s been trying to make sure Festus is focused for the biggest match of his career … That is the face of a man who’s about to go toe to toe with The Undertaker.

Cole and Coach ponder whether Festus knows what he’s getting himself into, which leads us into hyping the Backlash card. Big Show vs. The Great Khali has been announced. No mention for the ECW Championship.

The lights black out and the World Heavy Weight Champion, the Undertaker, makes his entrance.

Commercials.

Edge and Vickie are in bed. Whipped cream is for dessert … What the hell?! Theodore Long is still in the room. Long storms out, Edge is covered in cream, and they go back to … wasn’t SmackDown supposed to be the more conservative show?

Festus w/ Jesse vs. The Undertaker
The bell rings, Festus happens and Undertaker isn’t intimidated! Taker with a big boot right away. Festus off the ropes into a big boot for a two count. Taker goes for shoulder blocks, Festus does a good job in trying to fight Taker off but Taker keeps control. Taker goes for old school and connects. Festus reverses an irish whip with a big power slam and goes at Taker with head butts. Festus with rights to Taker, before blatantly choking Taker in the corner. Festus runs into a big boot and Taker clotheslines him down for a two count. Taker with a scoop slam, elbow drop misses. Festus clotheslines Taker to the outside. Taker lands on his feet and drags Festus outside. Taker slams Festus into the security rail, and Festus does the same to Taker.

Back in the ring, Festus rakes at the face of Taker. Festus knocks Taker right out of the ring with a right hand. Taker irish whips Festus into the steel steps. Taker sets Festus up on the ring apron for the usual moves. Back in the ring, Festus and Taker both get mounted punches. Festus chokes Taker again. Festus with rights and lefts to Taker, Taker off the ropes with the running DDT. Taker rolls Festus over for a two count. Taker nails some head butts to Festus, but Festus comes right back at Taker. The two exchange punches in the middle of the ring. Taker with a big clothesline to Festus. Taker runs into a big boot on the corner, Festus off the ropes with the flying shoulder block for a two count.

Festus picks Taker up, Taker falls behind Festus and nails a Choke slam! Taker covers but Festus gets his foot on the bottom rope. Festus irish whips Taker into the corner, Taker almost collides with Charles Robinson, Festus charges into the corner and does collide with Charles Robinson! Festus isn’t fazed, and nails a bicycle kick to Taker. Taker sits up and gets Festus in the Gogoplata … But Festus doesn’t tap! A new referee runs down and apparently Festus has passed out!
Winner: The Undertaker

In a very nice touch, Jesse lays over Festus as if to hold off Undertaker. An interesting match which a logical finish. But the match wasn’t as good as I was hoping for. Four out of Ten.

Miz and John Morrison defeat Jimmy Wang Yang and Shannon Moore: 6/10
Finlay defeats Matt Striker: 2/10
Victoria defeats Michelle McCool: 1/10
Vladimir Koslov defeats Matt Logan: -5/10
Matt Hardy defeats Chuck Palumbo: 6/10
The Undertaker defeats Festus: 4/10
SmackDown 11/04/08:14/60

An over all good episode of SmackDown (with exception of those odd Edge / Vickie segments and the weak opening segment). Undertaker and Festus are the sort of interesting main events which we need on weekly shows – they can make good and unique matches which most likely would never be on pay per view. The tag match and Hardy / Palumbo were both quite good. Anyways, until next time!

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