Pulse Wrestling’s Real-Time Coverage of WWE RAW for 4/14/2008

After changing the main event to Backlash twice, William Regal faces punishment from “The One Man Dynasty”, Randy Orton when RAW comes to you from across the pond!

Or…  Randy Orton made a mistake last week on RAW by demanding to be respected by the General Manager.  As a result, William Regal will attempt to teach Randy Orton a thing about respect when RAW comes to you from London, England!

Click here for real-time coverage!

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William Regal is sitting in his office enjoying some tea as JBL complains that his one-on-one title match evolved into a Fatal-Four Way.  Regal makes a cheeky response saying that it was for the good.  He says that he’s leaving England and heading back to the Big Apple.  Regal books him against Triple H before he leaves, though.

Cue up the Raw opening!  Explosions all around as we are NOT live from London, England!  We have a couple Jeff Hardy signs in the crowd tonight, knock on wood.  We kick it off with Shawn Michaels.  He reminds the English that Ric Flair wanted him to give 100% at Wrestlemania.  Everyone has accepted the fact, except for Batista.  He breaks out the insider terminology before he talks about his back surgery in 1998.  He’s tired of apologizing for his past.  IT’S NOT HIS FAULT!  Oops, wrong trademark.  He says that beating Batista at Backlash will boost his ego.

WOOOOOO!  Ric Flair’s music plays Chris Jericho out to the stage to a chorus of boos.  He goes saying that we won’t hear that music ever again and he calls Shawn a phony.  He talks for Batista, saying that Shawn enjoyed retiring Ric Flair.  He reminds us of 1997 with Bret Hart, the time when he kicked Marty Jannety in the face.  Jericho wants Shawn to admit it but Shawn is quiet.  Jericho breaks out the insider talk, saying that Shawn must had went to Vince and pitched the storyline involving Ric Flair.  Shawn kicks Jericho’s teeth down his throat and offers this cheeky reply.

“That felt pretty darn good.”

Commercials.

Welcome back to the show.  Next week on RAW is the one night “King of the Ring” Tournament!  Time to get some wrestling in now.  It’s a tag team match to determine who faces Hardcore Holly & Cody Rhodes sometime down the road.

Santino Marella & Carlito v. Brian Kendrick & Paul London
Tag Team #1 Contendership

Santino and Paul start things off.  Marella gets a kick blocked and London uses his speed to take him off his ball game.  Carlito hates the idea and he tags himself in to receive the same treatment.  Kendrick is in and he does the same thing until Carlito slams him down.  In comes Marella and he gets cocky.  He works the neck of Kendrick before tagging in Carlito.  Carlito continues the offense and Marella comes back in, effectively cutting the ring in half (ROH reference, duh!).  More taging between Marella and Carlito until Kendrick nails a dropkick.  In comes London and he nails the jawbreaker!  Standing hurrancurana connects and fast action ensues.  After twenty seconds of hard to follow offense, Carlito hits the Backstabber for the three count!

Winners:  Santino Marella & Carlito
Grade:  C+ (10 minute match rolled into 3 minutes)

The Italian/Cuban combination says that in order to be the tag team champions they have to have strength, agility, and you have to be international superstars.  Santino and Carlito are the real “weiners”!  Carlito corrects Santino and he says oui oui!  This almost writes itself.

Triple H v. JBL one-on-one tonight!  Up Next:  Mickie James v. Beth Phoenix for the Women’s Championship!

Commercials.

Tomorrow in newstands everywhere, except your adult superstores:  WWE Kids Magazine!

Mickie James and Beth Phoenix makes their way to the ring respectively.  We’re getting a huge main event feel to this match about a half hour into the show!

Mickie James v. Women’s Champion Beth Phoenix
WWE Women’s Championship

The bell sounds and Phoenix shows her power, but Mickie uses some MMA-ish kicks to little avail.  James slides under Phoenix, but Phoenix scoops her up and rams her against the turnbuckle.  Cover gets two and Phoenix continues with the stiff kicks.  Headlock by the champion, but James uses her leverage to get out of it for a split second.  Rope-assisted suplex gets a two for the defending champion.  Phoenix locks back on the headlock, but James uses her legs to gain the upper hand.  Phoenix locks on the Chickenwing, but Mickie is still alive!  She wrenches her way out of it!  Fisherman Buster try, but Mickie shoves Phoenix into the turnbuckle.  James is on the offensive…HURRANCURANA!  She goes for the Screaming DDT, but Phoenix powers James into the corner and she stomps a hole into her.  Phoenix sets James up on the turnbuckle, but that proves to be bad.  TOP ROPE BULLDOG gets TWO!  TWO!  James gets sent to the turnbuckle and Phoenix gets a torture rack…COUNTERED TO A VICTORY ROLL!  MICKIE WINS THE TITLE!

Winner and NEW Women’s Champion:  Mickie James
Grade:  B+

Mickie celebrates on the ramp as we head into some more serious matters.  Orton v. Regal is later tonight!

Not only is next Monday a one-night King of the Ring tournament, the WWE is inviting Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton to face off in a wrestling match.  The last time we had something like that, I was in St. Louis watching RAW live and we had a fake Rosie v. fake Donald match.  There’s a million things wrong with that.

Commercials.

We are back as Todd Grisham interviews Mickie James.  He gets more than expected as she applies a lip lock on him!  We switch gears and send this to a man that won’t be kissed by Mickie James anytime soon, Mike Adamle.  He questions Regal wanting to take on the very best in the World (Randy Orton isn’t Samoa Joe).  Jericho comes in and he wants to be involved in Michaels v. Batista.  Regal gives him the referee shirt for that bout.  He isn’t satisifed, so Regal books Umaga v. Jericho tonight.  Jericho still complains and now it becomes a title match!

Commercials.

Welcome back and Welcome to Hollywood, Mick!  He’s in a movie called Anamorph.  The movie opens this Friday in New York City and select theaters.

Time for that money-money, yeah-yeah.  JTG is going solo tonight!  Representing the redneck division, Trevor Murdoch!

JTG v. Trevor Murdoch
Singles Match

They lock up at the bell and Murdoch gets a seconds worth of offense before getting dropkicked by JTG.  Murdoch responds with a big boot and he controls the match in the early going.  Chinlock by Murdoch, but JTG gets up and Murdoch nails a neckbreaker!  Murdoch is on top and he hits the crossbody, but JTG rolls through and gets the three!

Winner:  JTG
Grade:  D-

Lance Cade is in the ring as Trevor makes excuses.  Cade seems to not buy it and he leaves the ring.  The HD viewers get a real close up of Orton’s facial pores as we take a commercial break.

Commercials.

Tomorrow Night on ECW:  The Brothers of Destruction go to the extreme!

Next week on RAW:  The King of the Ring Tournament!

But right now, we have our first main event bout of the evening.  Randy Orton gets on the mic and he says that he is still the champion because he beat everyone.  He will beat everyone that comes before him and tonight, William Regal will be beaten.  We are living in the Age of Orton!

Randy Orton v. William Regal
Singles Match

Regal gets a huge pop from the crowd.  They lock up and it is a stalemate in the early going.  Regal gets Orton in the corner, but Orton rakes the eyes and takes control.  Another test of strength is attempted and Orton is almost in trouble,  Regal shows his power over the champion, so much so that Orton tries to counter, but Regal gets a bodyscissors on Orton!  Regal’s head is slammed on the mat to no avail.  Orton finally gets loose and the pop for Regal is bigger than that of any other superstar at any other arena!  The mat wrestling clinic continues until Orton gets the inverved backbreaker taht sends Regal reeling!  Regal tries to kick away, but Orton shows his colors, viciously attacking Regal!  Orton gets a headlock following the two count.  Regal gets back to a vertical base and he nails a wicked Tiger Suplex!  Regal gets a two count, after Orton uses the ropes!  Regal suplexes Orton back inside the ring and Orton takes some punishment.  Running knee lift gets another two count, as Orton finds the rope again!  Orton pops up and RKO’s Regal for the three count!

Winner:  Randy Orton
Grade:  B

Orton looks like he was in a wreck.  Umaga v. Jericho is NEXT!

Commercials.

And NEXT has arrived.  Time to put your kids to bed.  Trust me, with four year olds utilizing a triangle choke making headlines…you don’t want your kids using a thumb to the throat of their friend or enemy.  We get another super-important ring announcing job by Lillian Garcia.

Umaga v. Intercontinental Champion Chris Jericho
WWE Intercontinental Championship

The bell rings and Jericho rubs his jaw.  Umaga beats some sense into Jericho and utilizing a headbutt, affecting the jaw.  He stands on the jaw and he is in control.  Jericho is sent to the ropes and he goes for the sunset flip, but Umaga IS TOO FAT!  Bonzai Drop misses, but a Jericho Dropkick doesn’t!  Jericho gets a two count and Jericho nails some rights, until Umaga decks him one!  Umaga hits a headbutt to bring Jericho down to a knee..  Another one takes him down.  He runs into a stiff clothesline and Umaga is in total control.  Jericho gets sent from coast to coast.  Jericho gets splashed for a two count!  Umaga goes back to the punches, but Jericho nails a dropkick.  Jericho is backdropped out of the ring and we take a break!

Commercials.

We are back as Jericho gets on Umaga and nails the top rope punches until Umaga shakes it off, dropping him on the mat.  Big Splash hits and Umaga nails a thumb to the neck nerve.  He applies the nerve pinch, but Jericho fights for his life!  Jerihco beats his way out of it and Umaga gets sent over the rope!  Baseball slide hits and both stars are on the outside.  Jericho runs into a savage clothesline.  Back in the ring, Umaga gets a close two count!  Second rope splash connects and he tries it again, but Jericho gets the knees up!  Jericho tries to pick Umaga up and he does, but UMAGA IS TOO FAT!  Umaga drops for a two count!  Barefoot kick to the spine and he forces Jericho up!  He decks him in the jaw and he continues to work on that injured body part.  Jericho gets sent crashing to the turnbuckle twice.  His back has to be killing him now.

Umaga gets a scoop slam on Jericho and he drags his lifeless body to the corner.  He beats some more sens into him and he goes for the Rear End Collision!  The move misses and Jericho goes on top!  Top rope shot to the back of Umaga’s neck and both men are down!  They are up at five and Jericho is in control.  Jericho goes for the bulldog, but is slammed for his troubles.  Dropkick to Umaga connects and Jericho tries for the Walls!  Umaga gets Jericho into the corner and gets kicked in the face!  Jericho runs into a SAMOAN DROP for TWO!  Umaga goes for the SPIKE…MISSES!  Umaga misses a stinger splash and Jericho rolls him up, using the ropes for the win!

Winner and STILL Intercontinental Champion:  Chris Jericho
Grade:  A

Commercials.

HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!  Hacksaw Jim Duggan makes his way to the ring, with the U.S. Flag and still gets a good pop for it across the pond!  His opponent, accompanied by the ever so sexy Katie Lea, Paul Burchill.

Hacksaw Jim Duggan v. Paul Burchill
Singles Match

The bell rings and Duggan can’t get the HOOO out!  Burchill beats Duggan into a pulp in the opening seconds.  Duggan gets no offense in as Burchill continues to manhandle him.  Curb stomp hits and that is all.

Winner:  Paul Burchill
Grade:  F

Commercials.

We are back with Todd Grisham, who isn’t getting kissed on.  His guest is Triple H.  He asks him how he prepares for a man he never faced before.  Triple H wonder if Todd writes the questions himelf.  He tells JBL that it is time to play the Game.

Rundown of the Backlash Card.

Triple H and JBL make their way to the ring, but before we get the main event started, we need to pay for the show!

Commercials.

Triple H v. John Bradshaw Layfield
Singles Match

We are JIP as JBL takes it to Triple H, but Triple H counters.  Arm drag by Hunter into a headlock, but JBL gets back up.  To the ropes Hunter goes and down JBL goes.  Crotch Chop by Hunter and they stare down in the middle of the ring.  Lockup initated and the referee breaks it up!  They get nose to nose and they share some smack talk.  Another lockup and the referee breaks it up again.  This match is a true stalemate until JBL takes a cheap shot.  To the corner Hunter goes, but he explodes with a clothesline.  To the opposite corner, Hunter rams his shoulder into JBL.  Neckbreaker gets two for Hunter.  Both men are up and JBL hits the rights.  To the ropes Hunter goes and JBL drops low.  Pedigree attempt is blocked.  JBL hits some clubbing blows on Hunter.  Swinging neckbreaker by JBL takes Hunter down and he locks on a Full Nelson!  Hunter drops to a knee, but he breaks the hold again.  Knee lift by Hunter connects, as does a knee smash!  Out JBL goes and the referee restrains Triple H for a second.  BOth men are outside adn they battle up the ramp!  Orton comes out and hits the knee on Triple H’s face for the DQ! 

Winner via DQ:  Triple H
Grade: C+

In the ring, Orton beats down on Hunter, but SPINEBUSTER CONNECTS!  Pedigree try, but CLOTHESLINE TO HELL!  Orton and JBL double team Hunter.  RKO onto Hunter and JBL wants Orton to hit the CONCUSSION KICK!  He goes for it…CLOTHESLINE TO HELL ON ORTON!  CLOTHESLINE TO HELL ON HUNTER AGAIN!  JBL celebrates with the titleas the show ends.

Show over.

The WWE RAW Report Card

Carlito & Santino Marella d. Brian Kendrick & Paul London: C+
Mickie James d. Beth Phoenix to win the Women’s Championship: B+
JTG d. Trevor Murdoch: D-
Randy Orton d. William Regal: B
Chris Jericho d. Umaga: A
Paul Burchill d. Hacksaw Jim Duggan: F
Triple H d. John Bradshaw Layfield via DQ: C+
Extra Credit:  Two Title Matches Deliver

The Final Grade for WWE RAW 4/14/2008:  B-

Three very good matches, two squashes, and two average matches should had merited a C+ as a whole, but the two title matches were done so flawlessly that I had to recognize the effort.  This week’s RAW gets a B- grade.  As we head to next week’s three hour King of the Ring special, it becomes interesting to see if Barack v. Hillary are the real deal or it delves into a parody.

Don’t Leave Yet!

Jake Mulligan continues his reign of terror over the Inside Pulse staff with another victory in Week 6 of VS. – The Comeback.
Steve Murray recaps TNA Lockdown and Samoa Joe’s long-deserved title win.
Mark Allen discusses the big news story from last week, the Mike Knox Scandal.
Vinny experiences ROH Live, something I hope to do before 2008 ends.

Well, I was too busy towards the end of the week last week, so I didn’t do the Marshall Report.  Never fear, I will have one up this week.  Instead of talking about parental advisory, I’m thinking of something different.  Can’t tell you what it is, because it’s classified information, but I’ll say that you will like it.  Until next time, keep it real!