BLATT vs ECW – 4/15/08 Edition

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Nice little intro package to start off the show highlighting that the Undertaker is in the hizzy to team up with Kane against the Douches.

DON’T QUESTION THE FIRE THAT BURNS INSIDE!

We start with… JOEY STYLES IS LEAVING ECW!!! apparently he’s going to head up WWE.com. He’s going to be replaced Mike Adamle. Looks like Joey finally got what he wanted and he’s going stay off the road but stay with the company. If you remember, Joey was hesitant to join the company to start with because of what was probably a sweet deal with Fox News.

CM Punk, Kofi Kingston, Jimmy Wang Yang and Shannon Moore over Deuce, Domino, Shelton Benjamin and Elijah Burke
Punk and Domino start. Domino gets an early arm bar on Punk, who gets a headlock on Domino in a reversal. Domino whips Punk to the ropes and Punk returns with a shoulder block. More is tagged in and gets a two on a sunset flip.

Yang is tagged in, hits a dropkick and lands for a pin for a two. TWO! Punk’s tagged back in and gets booted in the corner as he charges on Domino. In comes Shelton who slaps Punk around and gets a two. Punk comes back with a knee, Shelton goes for a body slam but Punk counters with a splash. Shelton hits a knee on Punk and sends him out of the ring to the floor. All eight men face off on the floor and we head towards commercial.

Punk is in with Burke, Punk gets the advantage and tags in Kofi. Kofi gets an arm bar, gets whipped to the ropes and hits an arm drag. Only a one for the pin attempt. Moore is tagged in, who continues to work the arm of Burke. Moore tags in Yang, hits a suplex on Burke and Yang hits a springboard senton. Yang goes for punches in the corner and is cut short and gets kicked and hit with an uppercut by Burke. Burke chokes Yang on the ropes, runs to the opposite and jumps through the ropes onto the back of Yang’s head.

Shelton is tagged in. He continues the punishment on Yang, who fights out to some polite applause by the english crowd. Shelton brings Yang to the apron with a headlock and the polite applause begins again. Yang fights out, stomps the toes, runs to the ropes and gets hit with a boot to the face by Shelton.

Deuce is tagged in and throws some boots to Yang. He taunts the faces a bit before going back to work on Yang. He only gets a two (TWO!) on Yang and goes back to a submission hold to the head. Yang starts to fight out, but this is ECW, so he can’t actually get out of one of these rest holds the first few times. After some cheating by the heels, Deuce only gets a two on Yang.

Burke is in, who paints Yang in the corner but gets pushed off by the ref. Yang hits a chop, but that doesn’t do much and Burke continues the punishment. Deuce gets tagged in and can still only get a two. Domino comes in for a quick tag and hits a leg drop for a two. TWO! Yang fights out of another rest hold, Domino clears off Moore and Punk from the apron, leaving Kofi. Deuce is in, so is Kofi, who hits a splash from the top rope and a high leg kick. Kofi hits the stupid Boom Boom thing and hits the double leg drop. That gets broken up by Shelton, who is cleared out of the ring by Punk. Moore comes back to the apron and dives onto Domino, Punk, Shelton and Burke. This leaves Kofi and Deuce Duece misses a kick and gets drilled in the face by Dee Jay from Street Fighter. That was pretty one sided from the heels, but still entertaining. It’s clear that they want to get as many guys in front of that crowd as possible and this was their way. The faces celebrate and the heels stew outside.

We get a recap of the contract signing from last week, which leads us to possibly the boiler room for some comments from Kane. Kane makes some threats to the tag team champions because, dammit, Chavo made him mad. Pan back to see the Undertaker is with Kane. Pop!

We’re still in London, and Tazz is in the ring. It’s time for the… Diva’s Dance Off? I miss when they were called Vixens. Here are our competitors: Layla, Maryse, Eve Torres, Lena Yada and Kelly Kelly. It should be known that I don’t recognize some of these girls. Eve who? the girls have the opportunity to “bust a move” and “show their stuff”. Tazz starts them off with some dancing of his own. It’s hard to believe that this is the same guy who was so hardcore and so tough that he

As usual, Layla can dance like an A+ stripper. Maryse takes it slow but still dances like a stripper. Eve (who looks like a low rent Candace Michelle) is a bit more graceful than the other girls, makes me think she used to be a cheerleader. Lena can’t dance for shit but is flexible. And of course Kelly Kelly can’t dance if her life depended on it. She does take her shirt off, endearing her to the crowd. Tazz takes the schoolteacher approach and say they’re all winners. Kelly Kelly wins because it’s the dancing special olympics. No cat fight this time around, Kelly hangs with Tazz and Tazz destroys his legacy in the ring as he dances with Kelly Kelly and I’m having trouble remembering his matches with Tazz.

Mike Knox vs. Tommy Dreamer
Looks like someone trusted that those drugs did not belong to Mike Knox. We’re interrupted by Armando, who wants the official to know that the opponent of Mike Knox is going to be… Colin Delaney. Dreamer is sent to the back meanwhile.

Mike Knox over Colin Delaney
Nice touch. Knox starts with a clubberin blow and another clubberin blow. Knox hits Delaney with an exploder suplex. Colin is sent to the corner, hit with a huge clothesline, dropped across Knox’s knee in a nasty backbreaker and hit with that twisting thing Knox calls his signature move. Looks like Colin got potatoed above his left eye somewhere in that match.

The new dude is so much taller than Tazz so he has to slouch in order to be in the frame with Tazz at the commentary table. Time to get Tazz a phone book to sit on.

Backstage, the Douches talk about how awesome they are. Morrison says that the Miz is going stare down the Undertaker. The Miz doesn’t look thrilled about that.

The Douches vs. The Brothers of Destruction
Kane and Miz start it off. Miz gets some early punches with speed on Kane, but he goes wrong by trying to whip Kane to the ropes. Instead he’s sent to the ropes nad back to a shoulder block. Kane sends Miz to the corner and throws him back into it shoulder first. Kane taags in Taken, who continues to work over the arm and goes “old school” and hits it successfully. Taken sends Miz over the top rope and heads out to drape the Miz on the apron and boot him in the head and attempt a leg drop. Morrison hits Taker with a clothesline as he’s mid-air. Taker’s on the floor and we’re heading to the last commercial break.

Back and the Douches have control with Morrison throwing haymakers and kicks to Taker in the corner. Taker grabs Morrison and throws him to the corner and Taker has control. Taker hits a head butt and a big boot, but Taker can only get a two.

Kane in and the Morrison abuse continues. Morrison tags in the Miz and Kane pulls him into the ring and sends him post to post, following up with two clotheslines. Kane takes out Morrison on the apron and goes back to the Miz with a sidewalk slam. Kane goes to the top rope, but Morrison cuts him off. Kane sends Morrison to the floor and the Miz grabs Kane’s legs in a leg bar and tags in Morrison, who works on Kane’s legs. The Miz is back in, and the heels take a few punches from Kane, but the Miz hits that jumping clothesline in the corner. Morrison back in and he’s stomping Kane. Morrison goes back to the legs. The Miz is tagged back in and Kane starts to fight his way back up. Kane hits an uppercut and the momentum changes. Kane lifts the Miz up, but the Miz gets out, runs to the ropes and gets hit with a big boot. Both teams get the tag and Taker kicks some Morrison ass. Morrison gest snake eyed in the corner and can only get a two. TWO!

Taker calls for the clothesline and also grabs the Miz, but he’s kicked out of it and Kane rolls into the ring and they hit two choke slams. Taker scoops up Morrison in the tombstone and that’s all she wrote.

This was clearly a show built for the crowd. With the ECW match at Backlash already written into the card, we’re going to be seeing a holding pattern in regards to the ECW title until after the PPV.