10 Thoughts on Impact – 05.08.2008

Welcome to the 10 Thoughts on Impact. Glazer’s still not committed suicide so we’re doing well!

1. So, two “random” teams are announced for the big tag tournament, and both just happen to be enemies, who then face each other, even though that’s totally counter intuitive since the tag titles are supposed to be all important and hurting your partner makes no sense. Not to mention the fact that the two teams just “happen” to be enemies with Sting and Storm partners, as well as Matt Morgan and Kip James. I wonder if the black people must partner rule will make Booker and Amazing Kong partners and trump the wacky enemies who have to team up of Booker and Roode.

2. Even worse, we have all these random teams, then we have the four “normal” teams. As Mark Allen points out, two of those aren’t even regular teams. AJ and Super Eric have teamed once, while Rhyno and Cage have rarely teamed. That leaves LAX and Team 3-D. TNA went from a really good tag division to being forced to pretend Rhyno and Cage plus Super Erick and AJ Styles are real teams. Anyone want to trace that path for me?

3. Jim Cornette is the worst authority figure, kayfabe wise, ever. This week’s examples. He books a women’s match while they all talk over him rudely (insubordination) and then it’s a B.S. on a Pole match. He has these guys pick their partners randomly, then ignores as they fight in front of him. Cornette’s character needs some balls and passion, ASAP.

4. The X-Division offering – Jimmy Rave vs. Curry Man vs. Shark Boy vs. Consequences Creed vs. Petey Williams vs. Johnny Devine. The X-Division used to be really proud. Look at those names and mourn. Now, surprisingly, to me anyway, the match was actually pretty good, at around *** as a very fun spotfest. Some questions though- Where are Dutt, the Machine Guns, and Lethal? When did Devine become a paparazzi again? These aren’t rhetorical, answer in the comments below. Rave looked great and I can’t wait to see him in NJPW’s Battle of the Super Juniors this year! Check Jake Mulligan’s Spotlight on Japan for a preview.

5. The Abortion on a Pole match (and when Russo uses that, I want royalties) had one interesting thing, a falling split from the top called the “Flying Firecrotch Guillotine.” That’s either the best or the worst thing I’ve ever heard. Gail Kim won immunity from a head shaving if you care, but really, Flying Firecroth Guillotine…

6. We have details on the Terrordome and it might avoid Wrestlecrap after all. It’s a 30 foot high caged dome where you must climb out a tiny hole at the top to win. With a bunch of spotmonkeys killing themselves, this might not be mad. I wish it had any other name, but if you’re into watching small wrestlers nearly die, this might be the match for you. It’d be great for a heated feud and I can’t help but feel it’s a bit wasted here.

7. At the show’s start, Kurt Angle meets Scott Steiner outside and says “We have an understanding right?” then when Steiner agrees, explains the understanding. My girlfriend, who isn’t a wrestling fan, sees this and replies “At least ROH and WWE let me pretend its real, why would he explain the understanding if he and Scott already know?” If a non-fan sees this, it’s a problem and it’s a really simple one that could be saved by some more careful scripting (or better writers).

8. Sting vs. James Storm was terrible. I wanted to like it badly, but I couldn’t bring myself to. They did everything wrong, from the unnecessary overuse of weapons and a ref bump (in a no DQ match, so unneeded) to Sting failing to put a young guy over again to the complete lack of any flow to the match. It was Sting beating Storm about while Storm tried and failed at sneakiness to get anything going. If Storm at least went over it’d buy this some leeway, but I really don’t get this.

9. Matt Morgan is a future star. I’ve been saying this for ages now. He really is the prototype of nearly everything a wrestler should be. He’s huge with a great look. He can talk and has presence. He can sell and put together a match. All he’s lacking is experience. So who do you pair him with? Kip James, who somehow or another still believes that he, the least over man of the group, was responsible for D-X’s success. Way to name drop Billy.

10. The main event was a decent match, if all we’re looking at is the match. Joe and Nash went at Angle and Steiner, but the sneaky speed of the heels got Nash in trouble. Joe was an unstoppable beast, but was taken out for just long enough to allow the heels to cheat and beat Nash. Unfortunately, the heels swore the point of the match was to hurt Joe, something they not only failed miserably at, but failed miserably at visibly attempting. If TNA is going to put the matches second to the angles, they really need to at least follow through the angles properly. Also, be ready for Kevin Nash to turn on Joe soon since they’re so heavily hyping how Joe can trust him.

That’s it for this week, except…

A Random Match Review for No Reason at all

Danielson vs. Low Ki – All Star Weekend 6 Night 1

This started off with some high quality MMA stuff, with beautiful transitions back and forth between that and normal pro wrestling stuff. I wish everyone who freaked over Angle vs. Joe saw this, or better, their ROH Round Robin Challenge match, which is *****.

Danielson owns Ki at the MMA shit after awhile and ends up controlling by hurting his arm. After that it’s all Dragon control, as Ki gives up the big chops, but uses his feet and big moves to stay in the match, while Danielson is putting together beautiful combinations to make Ki’s situation seem really desperate. Unfortunately, this entails totally ditching the MMA and the arm work for the remainder of the match, meaning, as cool as it was, it doesn’t come back and thus ends up rather pointless.

Danielson’s control continues, but Ki gets more and more offense, but struggles doing combinations. Danielson just can’t finish Ki, who has numerous Cattle Mutilation counters and is simply too tough and agile for anything else in Danielson’s arsenal. Ki tries a big combo, going for a Phoenix Splash, a move he has defeated Danielson with before, but Danielson is ready. The Tree of Woe double stomp, however, isn’t something Ki was doing when Dragon faced him all the time, so that’s a huge opening which weakens Danielson enough to take the Ki Crusher and then immediately the Dragon Clutch in combination, forcing Danielson to tap. **** – **** ¼

The MMA and arm work should have come back and the missed spots hurt, but on the other hand, this told a great story of Ki having fallen behind Dragon in skill and rising and rising until his own combinations outshone those of the ‘Best Wrestler in the World.’

Tags: ,