How do you do a roundtable for a show that primarily consists of a tournament that has had no brackets released? Find out inside!
TNA World Heavyweight title
Samoa Joe (c) vs. Scott Steiner vs. Kurt Angle
Paul Marshall: While the entire show has Russo’s fingerprints all over it, this match has yet to see the effects of Russo going crazy. Oh wait. Next month is most likely King of the Mountain match and if the last two years serves as a precursor, there can’t be a champion going into the match. However, I want to think positive…
Winner – Samoa Joe
Matthew Michaels: I was kinda hoping this would just be a singles match, with Joe beating Steiner (and each month beating all challengers to really establish himself and the belt, sort of how he did in ROH), and I think all things considered, Angle being in the match muddies things up a bit. ESPECIALLY if Kurt’s hurt again, as per some recent reports. That said, ON PAPER, Kurt being in any match makes it better, so hopefully this is a clean win for Joe and a solid TNA main event.
Winner – Samoa Joe
David Brashear: Going by recent reports, Angle’s been saying that he may have broken his neck again. If Angle is going to go on the shelf for a while, this could serve two purposes – 1) End the Joe/Angle feud, and 2)Possibly set up a new feud with Steiner. Of course, for that to work, Joe has to retain.
Winner – Samoa Joe
Deuces Wild Tournament Finals
Team 3D, The Latin American Xchange, AJ Styles & Super Eric, Christian Cage & Rhino
Egotistical Eight: Sting, Robert Roode, Matt Morgan, BG James, Booker T, Awesome Kong, James Storm, Kip James
Matthew Michaels: Honestly how does one predict this? There are no tournament brackets, we don’t know who’s being paired with whom, and it seems like Vince Russo booking, so even if I wanted to be logical… That said, we DO know that Sting and James Storm vs. Team 3D is the first match, so I’ll make some guesses based on who’s left (and assuming the first round match-ups will all be “established” teams vs. “egotistical eight” teams):
FIRST ROUND
Team 3D beats Sting & Storm
Rhino & Cage beat Roode & Booker T
Homicide & Hernandez beat Mr. Ass & Morgan
Kong & Road Dogg beat Styles & Eric
SECOND ROUND
Rhino & Cage beat Team 3D
LAX beats Kong & B.G.
FINALS
LAX beats Rhino & Cage
Winner – LAX
David Brashear: I strongly doubt that the Egotistical Eight have a shot at winning here. Like MM said, this would have been helped a great deal by actually having brackets, so let’s blue-sky. Taking the Eight out leaves LAX, AJ & Eric, Team 3D, and Christian & Rhino. AJ/Eric feels like a temporary thing to give AJ something to do until Tomko comes back, so we’ll drop them. Cage and Rhino need something more worthwhile to do, and Team 3D is so dull by this point their matches are being prescribed as cures for insomnia. That leaves one team:
Winners – LAX
Paul Marshall: There’s your Pay-Per-View right here, folks. Four established teams and four makeshift teams that HATE each other. Awesome Kong is in here to make things interesting, but with Spike TV having an edict that guarantees no violence between men and women, you can automatically scratch her out of the equation. I’m liking LAX’s chances since they now have a mouthpiece in Hector Guerrero.
Winners – LAX
TNA Knockout Makeover Battle Royal
Gail Kim vs. ODB vs. Traci Brooks vs. Velvet Sky vs. Angelina Love vs. Jacqueline vs. Christy Hemme vs. Roxxi Laveaux vs. Rhaka Khan vs. Salinas
David Brashear: And here we have a truly ridiculous (Russo-riffic, eef you weel) stipulation. Gail wins and gets another shot at Kong, while Rhaka Khan learns that when you’re signing cards, you sign them with your correct name.
Winner – Gail Kim
Paul Marshall: Whoever wins will job to Kong, so this is a safe pick. The loser, if you read the insider’s guide to TNA, you’ll find out that Rhaka Khan is in the doghouse for her trading card hijinx.
Winner – Gail Kim
Loser – Rhaka Khan
Matthew Michaels: I’m tired of ODB, but for some reason can see her the only one getting her head shaved. (Unless they’re serious about making Roxxi over.) That said, since Gail is immune, I’m picking the final two to be her and… uh… Hemme. And Hemme winning with help from Rave & Hoyt, thus no one getting their head shaved.
Winner – Christy Hemme
Terrordome Match
Jimmy Rave vs. Johnny Devine vs. Shark Boy vs. Curry Man vs. Jay Lethal vs. Sonjay Dutt vs. Chris Sabin vs. Alex Shelly vs. Consequences Creed vs. Kaz
Paul Marshall: Well, the injury bug bites at the worst time. As of Saturday, TNA hasn’t made any changes to this match so for all sakes of sanity, this is to determine the #1 Contender to the X Division Championship. Somebody call Vince Russo and tell him that you don’t always have to reinvent the wheel to maintain your 25K PPV buyrate.
Winner – Jay Lethal
Matthew Michaels: If they’re serious about bringing the X Division “back” they have to move past Black Machismo and Sonjay Dutt’s feud over Val… Johnny Devine wants to disband the X Division… Creed is boring… Shark Boy’s a joke… Which leaves Shelley, Sabin, Curry Man, Rave and Kaz. Any of those five would be fine with me, and with Petey Williams a heel, the strongest babyface of the group is the guy who should win… he’s HOT. He’s SPICEY. He TASTES GREAT…
Winner – Curry Man!
David Brashear: Let’s narrow this down. Rave can’t win simply for committing the crime of being partially responsible for Lance Hoyt being on my television. I don’t think they’d want a heel champion in Devine (if Petey Williams can even defend the title after his injury). Sabin and Shelley wind up working together too well and take themselves out. Creed’s too new. I think we’ll see the next stage of the feud between Lethal and Dutt and that will keep them out of the winner’s spot. While I’d love to see Curry Man get the shot, I think that a Kaz run with the belt might be interesting.
Winner – Kaz
