This Week in ‘E – Servin’ Hard Time

Not even the 24 inch pythons can stop the youngest Hogan from going behind bars. Plus Ashley may have been a hooker in a past life while a drunk redneck tried to pick a fight with a rassler in North Carolina. I know, I’m as surprised as you are.

Opening Witty Banter
As usual it’s the 11th hour and I’m finally getting around to finish this thing off. I’m short on time and long on ideas, so let’s quit wasting time.

The Big Story
On Friday, May 9, Nick (Hogan) Bollea sat in a court room awaiting his ruling in regards to the accident that happened in August 2007 that has since left his friend Nick Graziano in critical condition. Judge Philip Federico of the Pinellas County Court sentenced Nick Bollea to the following sentence:

– 8-months in the county jail starting immediately.
– 5-years probation.
– 500-hours of community service, none of which can be performed by public speaking.
– No alcohol consumption for five-years.
– Drivers license revoked for three-years.
– It will not go down as a felony on his record.

Apparently Nick was apparently “very accepting” of the sentence as he left the courtroom. Nick, Hulk and Brooke Hogan all had chances to address the courtroom as did Graziano’s father, daughter and girlfriend. Even in the most serious of times Hulk showed up in the courtroom wearing a bandana. Apparently the courtroom has a rule against hats in the courtroom but Hogan arrived late and was allowed to keep it in order to not cause even more commotion.

I’m surprised that Nick actually received jail time for this. It seems that celebrities often get just a slap on the wrist for their actions. The kid is only 17 years old but he seems so much older because he has spent the past three or four years growing up in front of our eyes on television. I’m intrigued to see how Hulk Hogan will be received the next time he (inevitably) shows up on WWE TV in the future.

Everything Else Fit For Print
An article in Rolling Stone listed Ashley Massaro as an escort for a high-class agency in Los Angeles that would sell nights with her to people for $25,000. The agency was later shut down by the FBI. Ashley denied the story and said it was totally false.

Later the author the story, Rolling Stone Contributing Editor Michelle Grigoriadis, said this to PWInsider.

“Obviously, I stand by my story. Massaro is named in an FBI search warrant that was executed on Michelle Braun’s property in October, 2007. I have no knowledge of another woman by the same name.”

Ashley really hasn’t come out and categorically denied the allegations, although it is floating around that is another model out there in the world that also goes by Ashley Massaro as well. Ashley’s really had a bad run of it lately, with her injuries, poor performance on Survivor and now this.

According to out of North Carolina, Gregory Helms was assaulted at the Johnston County Club in Smithfield, North Carolina early Tuesday morning. The report states that Helms was “assaulted by an acquaintance while at the N&N Sports Bar on South Equity Drive in Smithfield around 1:10am. Smithfield Police were summoned to the business after an altercation between Helms and Dustin Curtis Narron, 29, of Selma NC.” Narron is being accused of slapping Helms following an altercation the men had. Helms then filed charges for assault and the guy was arrested. Narron was later released on $500 bail pending his court appearance on the charges.

Helms did the right thing by not taking this guy out and cleaning his clock. The media would have had a field day with it if Helms would have been the one hauled off to jail for assault. I don’t really get the appeal of trying to pick a fight with a guy who fights for a living. Helms later responded on his MySpace page and said that the guy should be glad that Velvet Sky wasn’t there or she would have kicked his ass. I think there’s a lot of guys out there who would pay to get beat up by Velvet Sky.

THQ has announced that they are creating a Legends of WrestleMania video game.

This is a great idea. As long as the gameplay is good I would imagine this will be a big seller for WWE.

WWE had a good first quarter of business for 2008. Here’s some excerpts from the WWE press release touting the news:

World Wrestling Entertainment Inc., a promoter of wrestling events and other entertainment, said Tuesday its first-quarter profit rose 29 percent, helped by WrestleMania XXIV.

For the period ended March, 31, earnings grew to $19.5 million, or 27 cents per share, compared with $15.1 million, or 21 cents per share, meeting the expectations of analysts polled by Thomson Financial.

Quarterly revenue soared 51 percent to $162.6 million from $107.4 million.

Analysts predicted sales of $131 million.

The company said WrestleMania XXIV contributed $4.6 million to its profit and about $31.3 million to revenue.

Live and televised entertainment revenue jumped to $99.8 million from $63 million, while consumer-products revenue increased to $43.4 million from $37.4 million. Revenue from digital media climbed to $8.1 million from $7 million, while the WWE Films segment added $11.3 million to sales.

I wonder what Vince does with all his money? Does he have a big bin like Scrooge McDuck used to have?

WWE announced it got 1,058,000 buys for WrestleMania 24, earning nearly $23.8 million dollars in pay-per-view buys. They were sort of last year’s record by about 200,000 buys.

That’s still a pretty impressive number of buys. Plus WWE didn’t really have a banner year in 2007 what with all the murders, steroids, suspensions, releases and bad press the company endured since WrestleMania 23.

The releases are piling up as Torrie Wilson was released on May 8. She claims on her MySpace page that she asked for the release as her chronic back injuries would not allow her to compete in the ring anymore. Plus she has opened her own clothing store recently so he is already set herself up for a life outside of wrestling.

Torrie hasn’t been on TV for many months and many had forgotten she even still with the company. She had a good decade or so run in the wrestling business and I’m sure made some good coin. No real loss to WWE here.

Johnathan Coachman is also leaving WWE as he has taken a broadcasting position with ESPN.

Coach also seemed bland to me as a wrestling broadcaster but people who have seen Coach’s legit sports work say he does a pretty good job. He’s got years of broadcast, entertainment and live TV experience that do him well in his new gig.

RAW’s On Tonight!
Judgment Day is less than a week away so RAW will be in full hype mode. Wasn’t Backlash just like yesterday? No matches for RAW have been announced, but John Cena will be there to have words with JBL, while William Regal’s reign of terror will continue, as well as more from Mr. Kennedy’s new face turn.

On Last Week’s Episode…
Marshall covers an interesting RAW. It was nice to see an always beautiful Trish Stratus, but I did not expect to hear Roddy Piper make mention of Santino’s DUI. Daniels gives his thoughts as well, including much deserved praise in regards to JBL’s fantastic promo.

Blatt takes on ECW’s 100th show. I don’t know what I’m more surprised about, Armando Estrada’s abs or the fact that Mike Adamle of all people finally named Mike Knox’s finisher after a hundred episodes of him using it. MM talks ECW as well, including a solid idea about having all ECW Championship matches contested under “extreme rules.”

Provencio gives the run-down on SmackDown!’s Championship Chase, that somehow ends up with Edge versus Undertaker again. Convoluted gimmick that ends up in the most logical of endings, is this TNA?

How They Rated
A.M. RAW (5.4.08) – .6

RAW (5.5.08) – 3.2

ECW (5.6.08) – 1.1

SmackDown! (5.9.08) – 2.4

This is Boring, What Else is There to Read?
Wiswell talks about matches that ROH should pull the trigger on.

Glazer points out all the reasons why you should have been at ROH’s live shows this past weekend.

Jake talks about the noteworthy goings-on of the puro world, including a preview of this year’s New Japan Best of the Super J’s tournament.

Ditch also talks Japan and focuses primarily on NOAH’s recent struggles.

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