Welcome to the only column that makes Vince Russo look smart! If you actually believe that, then I got some land down in Hell that I want to sell to you. I make people like Mike Adamle tolerable while using some wit to spin something that doesn’t necessarily need to be spun.
Before I get going, let me remind you just how I do things. TMR is a caged animal that needs to destroy any pretender that steps inside. I take anything that’s interesting and I comment about it. I like things that you, the reader, might not like. I won’t be offended if you tell me. I’m not the best writer there is and I don’t believe in half the things that the IWC believes in. Randy Orton’s new music has grown on me, Mike Adamle disappoints me this week, and most importantly…no matter how bad a show is, you’ll still watch it. Try to prove me wrong.
Last Time on TMR
I talked good about Mike Adamle and he thanks me by goofing up this past week on ECW. However, I like to remain optimistic that he’s being groomed to take over Jim Ross’ spot once he retires. Hopefully when that happens, Mike becomes a God on the mic like JBL and Mick Foley. I also had a staff roundtable discussion about John Cena, TNA, and ROH. I was hoping to give out some reader feedback on their answers, but no one took the bait, so I’ve got nothing for you. Maybe next time.
The Big Story:Â Roxxi Laveaux Sacrifices A Lot
TNA presented Sacrifice this past Sunday and the Pulse has your live coverage and the Smark Rant. While I didn’t watch the show, I wish I should have for one match. The show was given good reviews as everything aside from the Deuces Wild Tag Tournament delivered. One match in particular involved the Knockouts in a Makeover Battle Royal. The object was simple, eliminate your opponents and the last two dukes it out in a Ladder Match. You won’t see action like that in the WWE as they don’t pay too much attention to the divas as TNA does. Of course the divas will be in the random cage match, but a ladder match? I don’t think so.
Fast forwarding to the one-on-one match involving Roxxi Laveaux and Gail Kim, viewers seen that Roxxi got busted open legitimately from a ladder shot. Before anyone screams that it shouldn’t have happened…be thankful that she not only continued the match, but she took and got her head shaved bald. She has officially become more valuable than Chris Sabin and Alex Shelley. Did anyone remember a few months ago the way Sabin and Shelley were in the doghouse…all because they wouldn’t blade – that they were too good to bleed. Roxxi wasn’t asked to blade; she was asked if she would consider having her head shaved bald. She was open to it. That’s an example of showing the company that you’re willing to do things to get noticed. Roxxi has now seemingly become a bigger face than ODB and Gail Kim. Where are the Motor City Machine Guns? They are still trying to regain their lost push. Once they seen how Roxxi took being busted open, there’s no excuse for Sabin and Shelley.  If you want pushed, take the sacrifice. Fans will remember Roxxi’s dedication for some time to come.
Hey, Nothing You Can Say… I Hear Voices In My Head!
[youtube]http://youtube.com/watch?v=YaPlmyAWlJo[/youtube]
As reported Monday Night on RAW, Randy Orton came out to new music. Speculation is running rampant over the internet as to what the title of the song is and who performs it. I’ve heard three running titles for the piece and I’ll say them now. “Voices”, “Voices in My Head”, & “Talk To Me”. I’ve heard a couple artists as well – Rev Theory and Killswitch Engage. Everyone can run with their theories until it’s officially leaked on Limewire or whatever fan forum you frequent.  One fan forum claims to actually have Randy Orton as a member and his posts seem legitimate, but I’m not going to post entire posts and risk ruining any credibility I have, but I’ll say that it seems the winning combination is “Voices” by Rev Theory. Everyone will know when it’s official.
After listening to the live song about a hundred times (yes I’m that crazy), I think this is what Randy needed for his character in a long time. Sure, “Burn in My Light” served its purpose, but Randy’s character has taken more of a diabolic heel turn and the old song didn’t seem to fit the character as well. If Jeff Hardy can get over with “No More Words” when he returned from his suspension, I’m sure everyone else will get used to Randy’s new theme. The lyrics rock and the beat of the music aren’t too fast or too slow.Â
Judgment Day is Sunday
The Pay-Per-View Summer Express makes a stop this Sunday for Judgment Day and two weeks from Sunday for One Night Stand. Let’s take a look at the advertised card, as current as May 13th.
WWE Championship
Steel Cage Match
Champ HHH vs. Randy Orton
World Heavyweight Championship
Undertaker vs. Edge
Non-Title Match
Intercontinental Champ Chris Jericho vs. Shawn Michaels
John Cena vs. JBL
WWE Tag Team Championship
Champs John Morrison & The Miz vs. ECW Champ Kane & CM Punk
Women’s Championship
Triple Threat Match
Champ Mickie James vs. Beth Phoenix vs. Melina Perez
There are six matches, which mean that something may be added to the card by the weekend. This looks like a decent card on paper and we’re seeing at the least, four championships on the line. There’s some backlash about Shawn Michaels v. Chris Jericho not being for the title, but their feud hasn’t been revolving around the Intercontinental Championship, so why put the title on the line when it’d make no sense? Jericho accused Michaels of feigning an injury and Michaels revealed it to be true, so there’s a possibility that Batista may have the last laugh. It’ll be an entertaining match.
The Women’s Title and the WWE Tag Team Championships see Pay-Per-View time this month and the storyline involving both titles are heading in the right direction. Some people may claim that Kane and CM Punk aren’t a regular tag team. Just name one person that’s not named Undertaker that tagged with Kane as a legitimate team and not some thrown together comedy act. Besides, Kane and CM Punk have pretty much teamed up when one was in a high profile feud, so they have the chemistry. The Miz and John Morrison are a well-oiled tag team, despite the way they teamed up to begin with. It saves the blow-off to the Kane/Chavo feud until One Night Stand and it keeps CM Punk looking important. Beth Phoenix is in a better role as a challenger for the title than champion and if they decide to hot shot the title to Melina; that would draw an instant feud between the Hollywood A-lister and the Glamazon. Keeping the title on Mickie James would be better because she can pin Melina, thus Beth losing her chance at regaining the title. It’s the little things like this that makes me think the WWE is trying with the Women’s Division.
Cena and JBL will no doubt be a classic brawl. Despite all the critics saying that JBL sucks, he can bring the intensity and need I remind you that JBL and Cena had a damned good rivalry two years ago? The straight-in-your-face attitude will no doubt make a lot of fans happy.
Both World Title matches are going to do well, regardless of the fact that it is pretty much the same thing. Undertaker v. Edge is going to be awesome, though I question the whole angle involving stripping Taker of the title, then making the Championship Chase a way for Edge to compete for four seconds to eliminate Batista and come back to Edge v. Taker again. Whatever happens, they need to move on and make a new challenger for the title, regardless who wins.  On the other side of the spectrum, Triple H and Randy Orton face off inside a cage for the WWE Title. It’s a match type that hasn’t seen a Pay-Per-View main event in quite sometime, so it is refreshing, even if it comes a month after TNA’s all-cage Lockdown. Orton’s new music as I mentioned earlier may symbolize a change of the guard. Rumors claim that Trips will need to take a little time off to be with Stephanie, and with the return of Jeff Hardy, it seems to be a safe call to let Orton be the champion again. I wouldn’t pass it by the WWE to have CM Punk use his title shot against the winner of the Steel Cage match, but they do need to address that the holder of the Money in the Bank contract can actually lose the title match. Punk will be a World Champion this year, there’s no doubt about that. All in all, Judgment Day will be an interesting show to watch.
Wrap-Up
Keep it to the Pulse between now and beyond for the latest news, reports, and commentary from the best writers on the net. I’ll be back Sunday filling in for Steve Murray for your real-time coverage of WWE Judgment Day. Have a great Thursday!
