The SmackDown Report

Work isn’t fun. Especially some of the customers. Sigh.

Recap of Guerrero / Undertaker / Edge and the Championship Chase.

La Familia opens up SmackDown, with Tony Chimmel introducing Edge as the next World Champion. Edge puts over his injury last week (which turns out to be a sore throat), and credits La Familia to his sudden health. Edge puts himself over as the next World Heavy Weight Champion, but is interrupted by Theodore Long. Guerrero has been trying to contact Long all day, interrupts Edge en route to turning up late, and Guerrero tells him to go to her office. Long says he was at Stanford in WWE Headquarters all day, and he was summoned there in regards to her decision to strip Undertaker of the belt – apparently Guerrero blew off her appointment with them. Long answered all of his questions truthfully, including ones regarding her and Edge. Long announces disciplinary actions (ohhhh) against Guerrero – to wrestle her first ever match tonight or to be fired, with the implication being that Long would take her place. Guerrero fires Long to a rather bland reception, but Long says he can’t be fired and quits instead … well, that was anticlimactic. While making her way to the unemployment line, Long announces her opponent will be The Undertaker.

Commercials.

CM Punk vs. Chuck Palumbo
Lock up and Palumbo forces Punk into the corner. Palumbo takes it right to Punk, going after the upper body. Palumbo with a headlock takedown for a one count. Palumbo spears Punk into the corner a few times, Palumbo irish whips Punk but Punk flips over and begins taking the offence to Palumbo. Punk gets some credible offence in but Palumbo takes him down. Palumbo charges at Punk, but Punk pulls the top rope down and Palumbo goes outside – Punk follows up with a suicide dive. Back in the ring, Palumbo takes Punk down with a single punch for a two count.

Palumbo with knees to the spine of Punk before locking in a rear naked choke. Punk tries to escape, but Palumbo nails a scoop slam. Punk avoids an elbow drop and begins kicking away at Punk. Palumbo runs into the corner and Punk gets a school boy for a two count. Punk with an enziguri, setting Palumbo in the corner for the knee and bulldog for the two count. Palumbo runs into a big heel kick from Punk. Punk gets a top rope clothesline for a two count. Punk with the kicks, Palumbo blocks one and brings Punk in for a clothesline. Punk avoids a suplex, Palumbo stops a Go to Sleep. Palumbo runs into a big boot from Punk, Punk jumps off the second rope with a cross body but Palumbo nails a Samoan Drop for a two count. Palumbo goes for the Full Throttle, but Punk escapes and sends Palumbo into the steel post before nailing the Go To Sleep for the three count.
Winner: CM Punk

Punk is a great opening match guy. He and Palumbo had a surprising amount of chemistry, and it also helps that Palumbo is a lot better than I remember him from years back. The match itself was good, nothing great but still good. Had a good amount of time, had a good extended finishing sequence too. Six out of Ten.

Vickie Guerrero is backstage with Edge and Chavo Guerrero, but Montel Vontavious Porter walks on in. Porter isn’t happy about the Championship Chase stuff last week, and neither is Finlay. Nor Big Show. Guerrero gets pissy and announces Finlay and Big Show vs. Montel Vontavious Porter and a partner. Those three leave the room, and Chavo Guerrero asks if he was a pawn too – Vickie somewhat calms him down, but the dramatic close up of Chavo which ends the segment begs differently …

Commercials.

Michelle McCool vs. Layla El
Layla’s corset attire is awesome. Cole and Foley hype Night of Champions/ Lock up and Mc with a arm drag on El. And another. Mc trips El and catapults her into the turnbuckle, back into a pin for a failed attempt. El with elbows to the face of Mc, Mc with a drop toe hold and follows up with a nice leg hold. El reverses it into a headlock and then nails a headlock takedown, both back up into a headlock but Mc nails a knee breaker. Mc gets a heel hook, so says Foley, and even flips it over and El taps.
Winner: Michelle McCool

Wow. Get McCool over on RAW now. Well, after McCool vs. Neidhart. Five out of Ten. SmackDown Diva Standards.

Recap of the Michaels knee saga. Batista is up next.

Commercials.

Batista makes his way to the ring. You know, I never really noticed how people saw him as sexy until about twenty seconds ago. We get recap of Michaels saying he faked the injury, which further complicates this situation – is he faking that he’s not injured so then he can avoid the Walls of Jericho? Hm. Batista says he warned Shawn, if he wasn’t hurt then he would be shortly after. Batista says Michaels will be at Judgment Day … Batista has nothing to do on Sunday, so maybe he’ll be there too … I wonder what he’s implying.

Still to come: Undertaker vs. Vickie or Vickie quits.

Commercials.

The Big Show and Finlay w/Hornswoggle vs. Montel Vontavious Porter and Mark Henry
Finlay and Porter start, as they should. Finlay with a drop toe hold and suplex for a brief pinfall. Porter spits at Finlay and takes Finlay to the corner, however Mick Foley’s commentary is a bit too interesting – Finlay has grown up in a family of referees and wrestlers. Finlay with a shot to the throat, following up with a short arm clothesline for a one count. Porter gets a shot to the throat of Finlay, but Finlay goes right after the leg of Porter – Porter being smart and raking the face of Finlay almost as soon as Finlay goes after the leg. Big Show is tagged in! Now THIS will be a great feud, Porter vs. Show. Porter takes one shot at Show and tags out to Henry. Lock up, but neither gets an advantage. Henry with a headlock on Show, Show pushes Henry off and Henry comes back with a shoulder block but Show fails to fall. Show with a headlock on Henry, Henry pushes Show off and Show comes back with a shoulder block which does indeed take Henry down. Henry tags out to Porter, but it’s Show who brings Porter in!

Show with a head butt to Porter before he applies all his weight to the chest of Porter. Finlay in with a short arm clothesline and stomp to Porter. Finlay with an uppercut and clubs to the chest of Porter. Porter runs into a high boot before Finlay knocks him down with an axe handle. Finlay goes up top, but Porter big boots Finlay to the outside after Henry distracts Finlay. Henry sends Finlay back inside and Porter covers, but nothing comes of it. Porter with hooks to Finlay for a two count. Henry back in, and he places all his weight on Finlay. Porter back in. Porter dominates Finlay, who constantly tries tagging out to Show. Henry back in but Finlay gets a jawbreaker on Henry, however Henry regains control with a kick to Finlay before Porter is tagged back in.

Porter with a front facelock to Finlay, snap mare connects but a knee drop fails and Show is in! Show in with clotheslines to Porter, Henry attacks Show from behind but Finlay sends Henry outside! Porter clothesline Finlay and goes for the running corner boot to Show, but Show nails the Show Stopper for the three count.
Winners: Finlay and The Big Show

Alright match. Four out of Ten.

Backstage: Edge tells Vickie it has to be the entire family … Vickie tells the camera about how she is a female in a male dominated business, the sole bearer of the Guerrero family legacy, and she cannot over rule the match made by WWE Officials but she can change it. So it’s now a six on one match – Undertaker vs. La Familia. Okay then. That’s sure not overkill.

Commercials.

Funaki vs. Vladimir Koslov
You know the deal.
Winner: Vladimir Koslov

Above average squash, but that may be only because I got nostalgic for Funaki and TAKA’s “INDEED” gimmick. -Three out of Ten.

Still to come: Undertaker vs. La Familia

Commercials.

Cherry vs. Maryse w/ Deuce and Domino
Now all they need to do is change the 60’s gimmicks. Maryse shoves Cherry to start, but Cherry fights off Maryse. Cherry with a neck breaker for a one count. Cherry with a school boy on Maryse for a one count. Maryse with a drop toe hold, sending Cherry into the ropes. Maryse chokes Cherry on the second rope and swings her back into the ring for a two count. Maryse with a front facelock, Cherry almost fights Maryse off but Maryse slams her down and stomps over her. Cherry with forearms, blocks a clothesline from Maryse and nails a bulldog for the three count.
Winner: Cherry

Surprisingly acceptable match between two women who I didn’t expect much from. Mind you, all they really did was throw a bunch of moves – but Cherry kept in character well, and every time she brings out a new move I get a little excited. Maryse has all the basics down pat and the only way for her is up, really. Maryse does need a new look though – that tan gives me nightmares, especially with that hair. One out of Ten.

Still we’ve got the La Familia vs. The Undertaker match.

Commercials.

Nice video for Orton vs. HHH at Judgment Day. That leads us into a rundown of the card. Man, the graphics for Judgment Day blow hard.

Kofi Kingston and Eve Torress are backstage with Matt Hardy. Matt and Eve would make a cute couple. Shelton Benjamin over heard the brown nosing session; so they discuss the past and Shelton’s hair. Hardy vs. Benjamin is next.

Commercials.

Matt Hardy vs. Shelton Benjamin
Lock up and Benjamin takes Hardy to the corner, but Benjamin is removed via suggestion from the referee. Another lock up and Benjamin gets a headlock on Hardy, sent into the ropes and back with a shoulder block for a zero count. Benjamin begins to outwrestle Hardy. Hardy gets the clothesline bulldog combo for a one count. Hardy goes for the Side Effect but Benjamin blocks it and nails a fall forward suplex for a one count. Hardy runs into a big knee from Benjamin. Benjamin goes for a clothesline but Hardy blocks it, Hardy goes for a Twist of Fate but Benjamin drops Hardy on the top rope. Benjamin with a crucifix on Hardy, Hardy turns it into a Samoan drop which Benjamin breaks at the two count and counters with a crucifix pinfall. Benjamin kicks away at Hardy but charges into a clothesline from Hardy. Hardy gets the Side Effect for a two count! Benjamin with an enziguri. Benjamin blocks the yodel elbow with a kick to the gut of Hardy, and goes for a Suplex but Hardy nails the Twist of Fate for the three count.
Winner: Matt Hardy

You know how I’ve got this long list of matches that I’d love to see given good PPV time? You can add this match to that list. The story was good: this was one of Benjamin’s big chances and he had an answer for a lot of what Hardy threw at him, but the now seemingly out of nowhere Twist Of Fate finisher was hit too quickly. My gripe with this match is that it was over too quickly, and that there was such little build up to the ending. Four out of Ten.

Recap of Guerrero over the past two weeks, reminding us that La Familia vs. Undertaker is next.

Commercials.

La Familia make their entrance, but Chavo and Neely make an early exit – most likely to make their return later on.

La Familia vs. The Undertaker
Undertaker almost gets to Vickie, but Hawkins and Ryder stop him and Edge eventually joins in. Basically it’s a dragged out three on one beat down, featuring more comebacks from the bestdownee. Taker throws Ryder and Hawkins outside and boots Edge outside as well, and is alone with Vickie for only moments until Hawkins and Ryder are back in – but they meet a Double Chokeslam. Undertaker picks Vickie up for a Chokeslam but Edge nails a spear. The heels run as Undertaker poses in the middle of the ring … with no Chavo Guerrero or Bam Neely interference. Hm? And that’s the end of SmackDown. Not even a match, just a segment really, so no rating.

CM Punk defeats Chuck Palumbo: 6/10
Michelle McCool defeats Layla El: 5/10
Finlay and The Big Show defeats Montel Vontavious Porter and Mark Henry: 4/10
Vladimir Koslov squash Funaki: -3/10
Cherry defeats Maryse: 1/10
Matt Hardy defeats Shelton Benjamin: 4/10
SmackDown: 16/05/08: 17/60

A good episode of SmackDown with one sole problem: no stand out match and far, far, far too much about Vickie Guerrero. I like Guerrero, but this episode was just saturated with her, and it got really annoying even if it did make sense to hype the match and all that. Anyways. In ring wise, good work all around this week with the exception of the weekly squash. Until next week!

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