The SmarK 24/7 Rant for Prime Time Wrestling – October 8 1987
– You know, the great thing about this channel is that there’s always something to watch on a boring Sunday afternoon while you’re waiting for a PPV.
– Your hosts are Gorilla & Bobby, who are going on about something called "The Survivor Series".
Paul Orndorff v. Dave Wagner
Tough challenge for Paul this week. Bobby Heenan pops in and promises a surprise for Paul, so this must be here to lead to an angle. Orndorff beats on Wagner and tosses him, then stomps away on the floor and drops an elbow from the apron. Back in, he gets a dropkick while Rick Rude appears on the interview stage and poses at Orndorff in intimidating fashion. Yeah, that’s pretty gay. Orndorff pounds Wagner down for two, then hits a running clothesline and finishes with the piledriver at 2:50.
Steve Lombardi v. SD Jones
I’m just waiting for Gorilla to call this a main event in any arena in the country. Jones quickly goes with a hammerlock, but Lombardi makes the ropes. He goes into an elaborate story about having his hair pulled, but gets hiptossed at the end of it. Jones starts working on the arm, but Lombardi clotheslines out of it and stomps him down. That gets two. Gorilla starts spreading rumors about Lombardi and Barry Horowitz forming a team and taking a shot at the tag titles, while Lombardi gets a small package for two. Snapmare gets two and we hit the chinlock while Bobby and Gorilla get bored and discuss potential tag teams in the Heenan family. Gorilla really starts going inside by calling Lombardi a "protégé of Pat Patterson and Terry Garvin" and Heenan replies that he heard Steve went to the "Terry Garvin School of Self-Defense" and passed all the tests, "written and oral". Man, they really must be bored. Lombardi makes the mistake of hitting SD in the head, but then pokes him in the eyes instead and drops an elbow for two. Jones fights back for the silent Toronto crowd as Gorilla actually starts talking about how you find the greatest athletes in the world in the WWF during this borefest. Jones with a sunset flip for two as Gorilla gets really mean now by saying it would be a feather in the cap of Lombardi to beat Jones…or anybody for that matter. Ouch. Jones finishes with a rollup at 8:20. What the hell was that doing on a national TV broadcast? 1/4*
UPDATE! WITH CRAIG DEGEORGE!
Ken Patera’s arm is hurt now, but he’ll be back for Survivor Series.
Brad Rheingens v. Tiger Chung Lee
Rheingens wrestles Lee down with the armbar right away and adds a slam, then back to the arm again. Dropkick and back to the arm, as the Retro Timeline is actually pretty interesting this week and not just the usual "X beat Y for some title" stuff that we usually get. Slam gets two. Lee knees him down as the MSG crowd just totally turns on the match, and a backbreaker gets two. Rheingens slugs back into a backdrop suplex, but misses an elbow. He comes back and whips Lee into the corner for a BAD looking flip bump, and a gut wrench suplex gets two. Lee comes back with a lariat and a shoulderbreaker to finish at 5:05. Really? I thought Rheingens was supposed to be getting a push? Dull and bad. 1/2*
Steve Lombardi v. Scott Casey
More Lombardi? WTF? Casey grabs a headlock and they criss-cross into a Casey hiptoss. He powers Lombardi down and takes him down with an armdrag off another criss-cross, and Lombardi backs off. Test of strength and Casey boots him down into a wristlock, but Lombardi tosses him to escape. Casey gets necksnapped on the top rope, and back in Lombardi fires away with a forearm for two. We hit the chinlock and Casey backflips out of it, but walks into a clothesline off that. That gets two for Lombardi and we TAKE A BREAK?! From THIS? Back with Lombardi getting a small package for two and holding him down with a facelock. Casey fights out with an airplane spin, but Lombardi elbows him down again. Casey fights back with a high kick, but Lombardi slugs him down for two. Casey hooks the abdominal stretch (cue the bitching from Gorilla…now), but Lombardi easily hiptosses out of it, proving Gorilla correct. Now Casey tries a sleeper, but Lombardi quickly reverses. Casey survives, lucky for us, and charges at the corner, but misses. This is not exactly a star-making debut for the guy. Lombardi hits a backbreaker for two and heads up, but Casey slams him off and makes the comeback. Piledriver puts Lombardi down for two, and a bulldog finishes at 12:18. Not a bad match or anything, but Casey was dead in the water with that kind of dull debut. *1/2
Ron Bass v. Leaping Lanny Poffo
Commentary team of record is Bruce Pritchard, Mike McGuirk and Oliver Humperdink. Yeah. Bass attacks to start, but Poffo does some flips to escape. Bass tosses him, but Poffo skins the cat back in. Bass knees him down, and an elbow gets two. Bass slugs away and follows with a slam, and an elbow gets two. To the floor and Bass slams him there, but Poffo fights back in the ring. He gets a sloppy headscissors, but a second one is countered with a clothesline on the top rope, and the Pedigree ends it at 5:15. Your basic squash. *
– Gorilla and Bobby stop and discuss the upcoming Survivor Series, running down the card. I believe this was the first mention of Boris Zhukov, as they discuss Nikolai Volkoff’s new partner. See, kids, don’t get caught with pot in your car or you’ll get replaced by Boris Zhukov.
Bam Bam Bigelow v. The Shadow #1
Good thing they made sure to distinguish which Shadow it was. Bigelow overpowers the Shadow and cartwheels over him, then elbows him down and presses him into an elbowdrop. Slingshot splash finishes at 1:18.
The Rougeau Brothers v. The New Dream Team
We get some immediate miscommunication problems with the Dream Team, despite their repeated hugs. Raymond criss-crosses with Bravo into a bodypress for two, and it’s back to Valentine, as he faces off with Jacques. Greg chops Jacques into the corner, but misses a charge and Jacques gets two. The Dream Team bails and stalls, and back in Jacques slugs away on the Hammer, and a double elbow puts him down for two. Ray overpowers Valentine, but a rollup is blocked and it’s over to Bravo for stomping and punching. Raymond comes back with a hiptoss and the Rougeaus get a double dropkick into a Jacques splash for two, and the Rougeaus wishbone him. Raymond with the boston crab, but Valentine breaks that up right away. The Dream Team double-teams Raymond in the corner and gets two, and Valentine follows with a shoulderbreaker for two. They slug it out in the corner, but Bravo attacks from behind and Ray hits the floor as a result. He tries a sunset flip back in, but Bravo kicks him in the face to break it up and comes in with an atomic drop. He spits on Jacques to draw him in, which allows some double-teaming. Valentine gets a rollup for two and holds a facelock and we take a break. Back with Ray fighting for the tag, but Valentine chokes him down in the corner. Valentine tries a piledriver, but Ray powers out, so the Hammer turns it into a sunset flip for two instead. Bravo with the big elbow for two. Ray with his own sunset flip for two on Bravo, and a backslide gets two. Valentine tries the figure-four, but Ray kicks out of it. So it’s back to the heel corner again for Bravo’s bearhug, and the Dream Team beats on him in the corner. Hammer with a suplex, but Raymond reverses to his own. Valentine misses the big elbow, but Bravo gets the side slam, then also misses an elbow. Hot tag Jacques and he runs Valentine into the corner twice, then dropkicks Bravo to the floor. Back elbow for Valentine gets two, and Bravo accidentally legdrops his own partner while saving. Sleeper for Valentine, but Bravo breaks it up and they double-slam Jacques into the figure-four to finish at 18:15. No reaction for that, although it gets worse as it turns out that it’s a draw and Jacques didn’t give up. ** The Dream Team was duller than a butter knife and just had no chemistry together, and even Valentine has admitted it since then.