BLATT vs ECW – 5/20/08 edition

We’re coming dangerously close to the one year anniversary of Chris Benoit’s death. I’m not sure what I’m going to with the column when we hit the week it happened, but we’re a year removed and that’s supposed to be significant. I’m curious what your thoughts are one year later. When I bring him up, what’s the first thought you had about him? How about any changes that were made to the WWE’s style since then? How about the wellness policy violation that have occurred? Has it made a positive impact?

Just let me know your thoughts on the subject, you can send me some mail at blatt@insidepulse.com.

Anyway, I’m not here to go on about that, I’m here to cover some mediocre extreme wrestling!

We start the show with Morrison, Chavo, Dreamer and CM Punk in the ring with Armando. Armando lets us know that all the matches at One Night Stand will be under extreme rules. The four guys in the ring are all former ECW champions and one of them will be a #1 contender and at ONS they’re gonna have a fatal four way singapore cane match. But tonight, we’re going to have a tag team match between Morrison & Chavo fighting Dreamer & Punk. Looks like someone spent some time working on conditioning Punk’s hair for tonight. You know what that means, right? It means that something big is gonna happen for Punk.

DON’T QUESTION THE FIRE THAT BURNS INSIDE!

The Miz is intro’d as “the man so cool his aura can be felt from outer space”. Miz has a mic and he’s got a sore back, stiff neck and headaches from getting choke slammed on the floor. Welcome to ECW, douche. Tonight, he says he’s going to beat Kane.

The Miz over Kane by DQ
Miz is sporting a proper mohawk tonight. Kane starts with some punches, clotheslines and (low) drop kicks to turn on the punishment. Kane lifts Miz up in a neck breaker position and drops him face first. Kane eats boot while charging Miz in the corner, reverses a whip and sends Miz over the top rope.

On the outside, Kane goes to snake eyes Miz on the post, but Miz jumps off, Kane misses an elbow and Miz pushes Kane back first into the post and hops back in the ring. Kane follows and eats a boot. Miz drapes Kane over the middle rope and does his jump through over Kane’s head. Miz hits the flying clothesline in the corner and can only get a two. TWO!

Miz slaps on a rest hold and Kane fights to his feet with some punches. Kane picks up Miz into a body slam. Miz is whipped to the ropes and eats two clotheslines in the corner. A sidewalk slam only wields a two for Kane. TWO!

Kane hits the flying forearm and signals for the choke slam. Miz hits some elbows to fight out, Kane breaks his hold and sends some fists the Miz’ way. Kane locks up the Miz in the corner with a tree of woe and Kane goes outside the ring and pulls the Miz’ head back. The ref calls for the bell and that is the end of the match. Kane gives the Miz a choke slam for fun and goes outside the ring to grab a chair as an exclamation point. Kane sets up the Miz’ neck to be Pillmanned, but Morrison comes out to pull Miz out of the ring before Kane can stomp the chair from the top rope.

Shelton Benjamin over Kofi Kingston
Tazz won’t let us forget that Mike Adamle once made the call “Jamaican me crazy!” and for that, he’s my hero. Kofi brushes Shelton back with a few roundhouses, but Shelton charges Kofi into the corner. A collar and elbow later, Shelton has the advantage, as he should in close combat. Shelton makes the rookie back body drop mistake, giving Kofi the advantage. Kofi jumps on Shelton in the corner, Shelton lifts Kofi and drops him thigh first on the turnbuckle. Kofi falls awkwardly and now he’s gonna sell the leg. Shelton continues the leg assault with a combination of grounded submission moves and solid moves while standing. It’s odd to see Shelton playing this role in a match, but it works well for him.

Kofi hits a head scissors, but still sells the leg. Shelton gets the advantage, but gets drilled with a drop kick for a two. TWO!

Kofi hits a textbook russian leg sweep and goes to hit a double leg drop on a downed Shelton. Shelton throws an arm up and rolls up Kofi in mid air for a two. TWO! NICE MOVE.

Both men up, Shelton roll sup Kofi in a single leg Boston crab. Kofi fights to the ropes and Shelton waits for a three to break the move.Shelton continues the kicks to Kofi’s knee, steps back, misses a Stinger splash. Kofi goes for the Trouble in Paradise, but shelton ducks it. Shelton hits the reverse bulldog and THAT’S A THREE!

Interesting match. Shelton really out wrestled Kofi with this one from the get go. Shelton’s strength here was his mat wrestling and physical strength. They finally let someone out wit, out smart and out wrestle the inexperienced Kofi. I imagine we’re not done seeing these two fight.

Colin Delaney & Kelly Kelly over Mike Knox and Layla by K2<
Why bother pairing Colin with Kelly? He’s already over with the crowd and Kelly’s been nothing but downright bad for male wrestlers’ heat in a prolonged program. This is the typical mixed tag match, the male heel breaks up the female face cover, the males go outside the ring and the face female pins the heel female. Post match Colin feels Knox’ corkscrew and… cue the Cuban music, here comes Armando.

Armando Estrada over Colin Delaney
This one ends after one move. Armando wins the rubber match to lead the feud 2-1. Kelly attends to Colin and Armando gloats.

Do you feel sorry for William Regal yet? He seemed to be riding pretty damn high until he was suspended. For more check out: Update on Regal; WWE Comments. Tazz and Adamle run down the matches for One night Stand. My picks so far: Triple H, JBL, Jeff Hardy, Shawn Michaels, John Morrison & Kane.

John Morrison & Chavo Guerrero over CM Punk & Tommy Dreamer
Dreamer and Morrison start the match. Morrison grabs the leg to start and Tazz reminds Adamle that Morrison is in the ring. Dreamer has the early advantage tossing around Morrison until Morrison tagged in Chavo. Morrisona and Chavo collide in the ring and Dreamer tags in Punk, who hits a spring board senton. Adamle calls Chavo the Miz and Punk hits a hanging suplex for a two. TWO!

Punk gets a double underhook on Chavo and holds it. Chavo pushes Punk to the corner, and Morrison gets tagged in. Morrison throws a few forearms and tags Chavo back in. Chavo paints Punk in the corner, the ref pulls him off, Punk punches off Morrison to the apron, throws Chavo outside and hits a plancha onto Chavo. Morrison pushed Chavo into Punk to avoid getting hit. Outside the ring Morrison hits an electric chair on Punk and we head to commercial.

Back from commercial Morrison has Punk in a bow and arrow. Morrison hits a back breaker and hits a solid Russian leg sweep. Chavo is tagged in, pulls himself into the ring over the top rope and hits a knee on Punk. Chavo works over Punk’s leg and taunts him that he won’t allow him to tag Dreamer me.

Chavo switches to a move on the shoulder, but Punk fights out. Gee, I wonder why he can fight out so easily considering he has been having his leg worked over all match. Morrison is tagged in and throws some boots to Punk, who rolls up Morrison for a two. TWO!

Morrison grabs Punk by the leg, tags in Chavo. Chavo hits a low drop kick on Punk’s head and Punk hits a standing enziguiri. Chavo tags out, but Punk still can’t get to Dreamer. Adamle says Punk needs to “tap off” to his partner. Jesus fucking Christ man. LEARN THE FUCKING LINGO.

Both men are down, and we get to an 8 count before Dreamer is tagged in. Dreamer cleans house and hits a pump handle suplex on Morrison for a two. Dreamer misses an axe in the corner, Morrison tries a sunset flip over the top rope, Dreamer avoids it, Morrison hits Tommty with a kick, dreamer turns him around and hits a DDT. The pin is broken up by Chavo. Punk cactus clotheslines Chavo out of the ring. Dreamer sets up Morrison in the tree of woe. Morrison tags out to Chavo who hits the frog splash for a three.

Instead of chavo’s music, we get the Big Show’s music. Chokeslam to Chavo. Chokeslam to Punk. Show hits that submission he uses to throw people with on Morrison. Show grabs the mic and reminds us that he is a former ECW champion too and he’s putting himself in the Singapore cane match, saying he’s gonna be the next ECW champion.

Tommy Dreamer gets a choke slam to end the show.

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