I'm Just Sayin'…#11

Alright folks, first things first – The Black Panther having a anti-Galactus plan? Cool. Reed Richards having an anti-Galactus suit?


…well, I’m sure Mark Millar thinks it’s pretty cool…and that’s…the important thing…right?

Okay, moving right along – I want to give a special shout-out to everybody who joined me in a round of Place That Catchphrase! – all correct guesses, too! The breakdown in order of people who wrote in with answers as follows:

“I have a cunning plan…” – BLACK ADDER (1983-1989; not counting specials, that is) – uttered regularly by series sidekick Baldrick. A quintessential pinhead, was Baldrick; whenever he busted out this phrase, it was a surefire sign that the plan was anything but. This one was correctly guessed by John Bacevicius, Chip Moser and Dan Spears.

“What the hell are YOU starin’ at?!” – DUCKMAN (1994-1997) of course, was correctly guessed by Ryan Brandt back in Column Number Eight/burrrrp…Number Eight/burrrrp…*achem* scuse me – lost myself for a second, there…

“I’ve made a huge mistake.” – ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT (2003-2006), most commonly linked to character GOB Bluth, correctly guessed by Roger Benningfield (extra points for citing GOB as the first utterer) and Angelo Baca.

“Here’s what happened…” – MONK (2002 – Present), the signature phrase of title character Adrian Monk; you know the crime’s been solved the minute he says those three words. MAJOR points to John Bacevicius, being our sole player to nail this one!

“I have a bad feeling about this.” – here we have the official catchphrase to THE STAR WARS FILM SAGA (1977 – 2005), first uttered by Han Solo and then once per film by various main cast members, guessed correctly by John Bacevicius, and extra points for Chip Moser and Dan Spears for pointing to Han Solo as the initial utterer.

And our bonus phrase: “Glass of water for Mr. Grainger…”

It looks like we’ve got two bonus winners, once again in John Bacevicius and Dan Spears, for guessing correctly that this signature phrase is from another BBC comedy hit, ARE YOU BEING SERVED? (1972-1985) – I’m not sure what the prize should be, though. Maybe Manolis can dedicate his next two Capsule Reviews to you both. Maybe one can get Marvel and the other can get DC? Manolis, what do you think?

(Manolis: I’ll see what I can cook up for your guys! Does this mean you’re finally contributing some capsules? 😉 )

I’ll see what I can’t come up with, bro!

I want to get to Star Wars for a second…as I said in the first column, I often wonder what the big deal is about the prequels. I can’t for the life of me find anything wrong with them. Maybe one problem was, while the original trilogy is straight-up fairy tale/adventure, the prequels were very obviously told in the style of Shakespearean Tragedy (complete with the three main ingredients: Avoidable Catastrophe? Check. Despicable Villain? Check. Dumbass for a Protagonist? Check), which probably reminded a few too many moviegoers of high school English. But I’m also thinking the other part of the problem was, we were told off the bat, that this was going to be the story of Darth Vader’s birth. I think a lot of people wanted to see Darth Vader and they wanted to see him immediately. Which gets me thinking about STAR WARS: REPUBLIC #64.

This was a Clone Wars tie-in by writer John Ostrander and artist Brandon Badeaux published back in 2004, and it’s one of my favorite stories. It’s a done-in-one, that opens with Supreme Chancellor Palpatine addressing the Senate, delivering a speech centered around the death of General Ronhar Kim, a Jedi he refers to as a “dear friend.”

…the Senate of course, doesn’t know that Palpatine, a.k.a. Darth Sidious, orchestrated the massacre on Merson…

…in order to eliminate Ronhar’s highly gifted Padawan, Tap-Nar-Pal, who had come to suspect the truth about the Supreme Chancellor.

It’s a pretty good story already, but the real kicker was, the story is told in reverse-chronological order – from Palpatine addressing the Senate, to Ronhar and Tap-Nar-Pal dying on Merson, all the way to years prior, when Ronhar first met Palpatine, fresh from having just schemed his way onto the Senate in the first place.

My point is this…the next time you watch the prequels…watch Episode III first, and save Episode I for last. I like to think a lot more fans would’ve been satisfied if the films were released in this order – we would’ve gotten the Darth Vader payoff out of the way first, and then more people might’ve come to appreciate just how much story and motivation and unspoken backstory that this trilogy offers – from the events of Episode I cementing Obi Wan Kenobi’s place as one of the greatest Jedi ever, to Count Dooku’s role as the perfect patsy, to Anakin’s fervent desire for a father. I know, I know – the script and the acting weren’t what they could’ve been, but then again neither were Episodes IV – VI, if we’re honest with ourselves. As for Jar-Jar…sure he was a pain, but even he had a purpose – especially if you watch Episode II real close.

Okay, I think that’s it for this installment, save for one last question: what’s up with the solicitation for TITANS #5?

Ian…c’mon, man. We have places to look for smut when we want it – is the tongue really necessary?

I’m just sayin’, is all.

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