I'm Just Sayin'…#12

Columns, Top Story

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Wow…am I the only feeling really disoriented this week? Having Monday off seems to have thrown me off a bit. I’m trying to get this column going, and the only thing going through my head right now is how little I care for the term “morbidly obese.” I mean, if you’ve got a weight problem, that’s bad enough – do you really need to know that even your doctor thinks you’re gross?

Hm. I think getting that out of the way helped!

We’re back with our twelfth installment of I’m Just Sayin’, and the first bit of news I’d like to share is from Lordsofpain.net, which reports that WWE wrestler Triple H is being ‘held down’ by Matthew Vaughn. Vaughn, by the way, is the director slated to helm the upcoming film adaptation of THE MIGHTY THOR, and while both Triple H and Marvel both want him in the lead role, Matthew Vaughn has pretty much given a resounding “HEL no” to that idea, preferring to find someone who can act.

I just wanted to put this bit of news on here for those of you who, as has already been established with me, are also wrestling fans. Figured you’d enjoy the irony.

NOW, on to comics! In CAPTAIN AMERICA # 38 we learned just who that blonde dude was in the tank – none other than Crazy 50’s Cap, the guy who was so inspired by the exploits of the Living Legend of World War 2, that he ingested an imperfect form of the Super Soldier Serum, had himself cosmetically altered to resemble Steve Rogers, legally changed his name to Steve Rogers, and took to thumping on Communists.

…but what really caught my eye was that we actually got us some General Lukin action, in this issue. In fact, there was more Lukin than Skull this time around. I think this was the first time we got more than a glimpse of this guy in quite some time, and it seems to me that he’s still got some plans of his own:

I found that pretty curious, because for the most part the Red Skull has been in charge of the villainy in this title, and even got Lukin to fake his own death. So to see Lukin get this much screen time in a long time has me wondering what he’s got cooking. Does Crazy 50’s Cap fit in to the Skull’s plans or Lukin’s? Does Dr. Faustus have something going on with Lukin behind the Skull’s back? Could everyone just happen to be on the same page? So very curious…

And after a very satisfying conclusion to the “Haunted” storyline over in IRON MAN: DIRECTOR OF S.H.I.E.L.D. – where we got to see just what kind of headaches the Super Human Registration Act can cause, even for the man who championed it in the first place – I decided to stick around for issue #29, which kicks off a new 4-parter.

“With Iron Hands” looks to be a fun little adventure that takes an overarcing status quo I don’t really care for in the SHRA, thus reminding me once again that execution is the key to making an idea work. And much like in CAPTAIN AMERICA there’s no Skrulls to be found, so that’s a plus.

And in this story, you get a pretty simple question that is loaded with potential. Namely…

Who’s to say that everybody within S.H.I.E.L.D. is happy that a guy like Tony Stark is their boss now? What if one of those S.H.I.E.L.D. agents is just pissed enough to take action? What if one of those S.H.I.E.L.D. agents happens to be their best weaponsmith? As Jack Nicholson said in BATMAN commence au festival, baby!

Yeah, I had a sneaking suspicion that this column is going to get pretty ferro-centric pretty quick. Because while everyone else was off to see INDIANA JONES AND THE KINGDOM OF THE CRYSTAL SKULL last weekend, guess what yours truly finally got to see?

YEEEEEAH, MAN!

You know how you can hear so many people telling you how awesome a movie is, your own experience becomes ruined, regardless of that movie’s own merits? I remember that happening with the first SCARY MOVIE. My one friend from college saw it over the summer break, and could not stop about how hysterical it was. Then I went to see it, and was thoroughly unimpressed. But in retrospect, the movie pretty much sucked anyway, so you’re off the hook there, John.

But as the month went on, that actually started to become a concern for me, and I’m glad to say that IRON MAN delivered big time. As I knew he would be from the first trailer leak, Robert Downey Jr. was an amazing Tony Stark. At the core of almost every classic Marvel character is a self-centered protagonist who becomes jolted into reality, and discovers that there are bigger things than themselves. From his disconnect to the real world in those opening scenes to his rude awakening in Afghanistan, Downey nailed it through and through.

Meanwhile, the rest of our supporting cast was just spot on. Terrence Howard gave us a great foil in Jim Rhodes, Gwyneth Paltrow showed us a female lead who I don’t think screamed even once – I’m looking at you, Kirsten Dunst! – and I think we can all agree that Jeff Bridges was very unDude as Obidiah Stane.

I was especially thankful that director Jon Favreau didn’t try to cram too much into one film, focusing on giving us a solid movie that stands on its own, and leaving much for the sequels that are pretty much guaranteed, at this point. Between a solid cast and a great story, it looks to me like Jon learned quite a few lessons on the set of DAREDEVIL.

And of course, Marvel also recently released THE INVINCIBLE IRON MAN #1, timed to coincide with the movie’s release both in terms of the calendar and in theme, from the inclusion of all the main cast members, the central predicament of pirated tech and having a Stane as the villain. Not a bad story, and it’ll be interesting to see just how long Marvel will keep this title around after the movie itself has left the box office. Just one thing, though…

…anybody else find calling the suit “The Iron Man” a little weird? And I thought I was having enough of an issue with those goofy “Robocop toes” in this latest armor model. All they have to do now is slap the “Tuska nose” back on there and my head’ll probably explode.

And I bet you thought I was gonna say something about the Pepper Potts thong-flash, dincha? Just when you think I’m gonna zig…