This Week in ‘E – “Extreme” Changes

Columns

Randy Orton just got himself some unexpected time off while Undertaker has left WWE “forever.” If you believe that one you’re a better than I. Plus Heat just aired its last episode, which means Robbie McAllister and Charlie Haas are suddenly very afraid to answer the phones.

Opening Witty Banter
Once again another week in wrestling has gone by and once again another quiet week for “news.” How’s a guy supposed to write a column up on the company’s happenings when there’s nothing happening? Ah well, that will make for a quick column, which is good because I’m short on time as is normally the case.

The Big Story
Late breaking news comes out just moments before I finished up this column. Apparently during his championship match with Triple H last night, Randy Orton broke his collarbone after taking a severe bump over the top rope. Everyone who saw has reported that it looked like a vicious bump, and Orton could be seen telling the referee he hurt himself bad. The match then ended abruptly after a sledgehammer shot. Reports have said that the ending seemed abrupt and was obvious that Orton was in hurt the match needed to end.

That’s really too bad for Orton. He’s been on probably the greatest run of his WWE career, coming off his six month Championship reign. In between his various injuries, his bad behavior and wellness violations, Orton has had a rough track record in regards to on-air consistency.

On the other side of it Orton had apparently asked for time off to spend with his new wife and child, so at least the injury recovery time will allow him the chance to catch up with his new family.

Everything Else Fit For Print
RAW drew a really low rating for their Memorial Day episode, a 2.9. This is one of the lowest ratings the show has scored since the Monday Night Wars.

Commentators around the wrestling world have yelled that “the sky is falling” and RAW is in the toilets. It was Memorial Day and people had other things going on. Even with a low rating like that its still a top rated cable show with a rating that most shows would only dream of getting.

Mr. McMahon announced on RAW that the company will be giving away money to fans in a “McMahon Million Dollar Mania.”

No other details have been announced and the world’s commentators have already argued back and forth on whether one person will win $1 million or it will be spread out or whether it’s legit. But the fact is no one knows where this thing is going yet so why bother arguing about it until we know the logistics.

A drunk fan hopped the rail at last week’s SmackDown! tapings and tried to take shots at Hawkins & Ryder. Bam Neely ending up intercepting the fan and punched him out before security took him away.

Another idiot has got a story to tell how he made himself famous. Too bad it was on the taped show so it’ll never see the light of day. It would’ve been fun to see Neely lay out the guy.

AP broke the story that Dr. Phil Astin, Chris Benoit’s doctor, is being charged with a 175-count federal indictment with conspiracy and improperly dispensing drugs.

Let the year old wounds open right back up again, and allow for the media to have another sensational story to carry them through the summer.

Heat ended its decade long run this past week as the show will no longer be taped before RAW and will be discontinued on WWE.com. The final card featured Snitsky beating Super Crazy, Santino Marella beating Hacksaw Duggan, Lance Cade beating a jobber and Charlie Hass beating Robbie McAllister.

Yes, the final match in Heat’s history was Charlie Haas versus Robbie McAllister.

For a bit of trivia, the first match in the show’s history was X-Pac versus Jeff Jarrett.

Another artifact of the Attitude era is put to rest. I expect the upcoming draft to address a lot of the undercard talent who worked primarily on Heat.

RAW’s On Tonight!
It’s the fallout from One Night Stand so expect victory celebrations from John Cena and Triple H, among others. Plus more information regarding “McMahon’s Million Dollar Mania” will be revealed so we can stop all the speculation on who isn’t going to win the money. Santino Marella has a big match coming up with “Cousin Sal” on SmackDown! so there will be some chicanery between him and “Rodney the Piper” this week as well. And there’s a draft coming up in three weeks so hype will continue for that, and that should also mean that things will be in a holding pattern until then.

On Last Week’s Episode…
Provencio and Hepple double team the blue brand.

Blatt and Kirschner double team the purple brand.

Daniels give his eloquent thoughts on the red brand.

How They Rated
A.M. RAW (5.25.08) – 1.1

RAW (5.26.08) – 2.9

ECW (5.27.08) – 1.0

SmackDown! (5.30.08) –

This is Boring, What Else is There to Read?
The new guy David Wells brings some independent wrestling love.

Glazer tells you what ROH DVDs are the best buys.

Ditch continues to educate us all on Kobashi.

Kirschner remembers CHIKARA’s memorable moments from Hellertown, PA.

Wiswell examines the Ring of Honor students.

In Case You Didn’t Spend the $40
Scott Keith rants while Marshall gives a straight analysis of last night’s One Night Stand.

Here’s the quick ‘n’ dirty:
Jeff Hardy def. Umaga in a falls count anywhere match (9:19).
The Big Show def. John Morrison, CM Punk, Tommy Dreamer and Chavo Guerrero in a Singapore cane match (8:35).
John Cena def. JBL in a first blood match (14:23).
Beth Phoenix def. Melina in an I Quit match (9:02).
Batista def. Shawn Michaels in a stretcher match (16:56).
Triple H def. Randy Orton in a last man standing WWE Championship match (13:15).
Edge def. The Undertaker in a TLC match to win the World Heavyweight Championship (23:26).

IP Staff Roundtable Results for WWE One Night Stand
Another PPV in the books, and another Pulse Wrestling roundtable. Let’s see how us writers fared against the real thing.

Roundtable Champion
yours truly Mark Allen, with 6-1 record.

Paul Marshall: 5-2
Iain Burnside: 4-3
Andrew Wheeler: 4-3
Raffi Shamir: 3-4

Mark was a columnist for Pulse Wrestling for over four years, evolving from his original “Historically Speaking” commentary-style column into the Monday morning powerhouse known as “This Week in ‘E.” He also contributes to other ventures, outside of IP, most notably as the National Pro Wrestling Examiner for Examiner.com and a contributor for The Wrestling Press. Follow me on Twitter here.