I remember joining up with Inside Pulse in 2005. The first thing I did for the website was a recap of WWE’s Saturday evening program Bottomline, which in and of itself was a recap show. I quickly moved over to Sunday Night Heat, which was still on the air at the time and was only half-filled with recaps. A few months into that, I transitioned over into the music side of things, where I semi-reside now, syndicating my online webcast New Sound Now (soon to be Soundloading) and doing the odd CD review. Last fall, I wrote a series of essays under the title “The Moss Covered, Three Handled Family Gredunzaâ€, which were received somewhat well but largely without commentary. They are currently in the process of being turned into a thesis on the state of pro wrestling in 2008, specifically in terms of its place in popular culture. I’m really excited about the project, not only because it’s my own personal belief that wrestling could offer far more to society than it currently does, but also because it would be nice to have a book on the shelf that isn’t an in-character autobiography.
One of the points I’m going to raise in this book is that it is terminally important that people let go of the idea that pro wrestling is anything but fiction. The albatross of “sports entertainmentâ€â€”the stagnant middle ground where they admit that it’s all scripted even though the athleticism is dead real—is an unusable term now. The fact of the matter is, wrestling needs to become even faker than it is, primarily for the health of its performers. If the Benoit tragedy taught us anything, it’s that we must protect the performers first and foremost. If being forced to suspend my disbelief just a little bit more means that a wrestler will have a longer, healthier career, then there’s no question in my mind, and there shouldn’t be a question in anyone else’s. Two major examples of this should be self evident; there should never, ever be another unprotected chair shot the head ever again, and there should never be a move that finishes with a performer landing on solid concrete. I understand the “extreme†novelty of such acts, but it needs to stop. Nobody ever whines that an actor was shot with a fake gun, and nobody should ever chastise a wrestler for protecting themselves from serious injury.
The time has come to begin treating wrestlers like actors instead of athletes. If we value their performances (and it is a performance, even if it is improvised) then we should also value them as people. This is one of the reasons I watch TNA instead of WWE. While WWE still runs its performers into the ground with a deadly schedule, TNA offers a much more relaxed time table. I don’t know this for certain, but their ring seems more padded than WWE’s. Their performances rarely include contact with the concrete floor, and the fighting style they portray champions speed and flash over brute physicality. This is based on necessity—over half of their roster is technically made up of cruiserweights—but it’s also incredibly smart. Even WWE alumni Christian Cage, Team 3D, and Kurt Angle fight noticeably faster and with less blunt force.
Now, obviously I can’t praise them naively. TNA also has yet to catch up to WWE in terms of civilizing brute, on-screen violence. TNA’s scenes of grotesque violence—whether it be a barb wire match with Abyss, a bloody beat down like AJ Styles’ last week, or even an accidental gash like Roxxi Laveau’s from a few weeks ago—would never air on WWE. On top of that, they are the only wrestling organization left stupid enough to force two performers to do battle on a scaffold. They also suffer from an old-school mentality in terms of wrestling expectation. Several months ago, the Motor City Machine Guns, two of the most popular wrestlers on the roster, were asked to cut themselves in a scene involving Team 3D. They refused based on personal and professional beliefs (I don’t think I’ve ever seen either of them busted open) and were punished for it. Needless to say, this is completely ridiculous. No job anywhere should be able to punish an employee for being unwilling to place their body in the kind of harm that makes them uncomfortable. I’m not suggesting that a wrestling company shouldn’t be able to suggest the course of action that occurs in their ring. In fact, I believe that matches should be even more choreographed than they are now. All I’m saying is that when a wrestler does not want to slash their own forehead open in order to theoretically boost ratings, it should be okay. Find another way to get ratings. Give away a million dollars a week or something.
Another thing I like about TNA is that the show is presented to the viewer as if it’s a prime time dramedy. The “last week on…†preambles, the plot summaries throughout, and the overacted skits all make the fiction work on a level that no other wrestling show has ever done. Of course, this being pro wrestling, my column begins on a week when they didn’t do this. That’s okay, because it was a solid two hours of mindless aggression.
People often forget that TNA’s backstage scenes are fantastically written, both in terms of quick pacing but also because they were written specifically for longtime wrestling fans. ODB giving Machismo a giant snake during his bachelor party seemingly means nothing without context, but how often does television give you a 17 year old reference like that? And how often does most of the audience get it? Wrestling’s pretty unique that way.
Generally, TNA’s in ring style is applauded, but this week it seems incredibly phoned in. Every match, even the King of the Mountain X match, was incredibly paint by numbers. Would it really hurt any of the wrestlers to throw in a new move every now and then? Would it kill the bookers to reveal a new bad guy character (such as Mickie Knuckles) in a way that isn’t a post-match brawl? Would it kill Kevin Nash to look before he accidentally-on-purpose-by-accident hits someone he’s supposed to be buddies-who -on’t-trust-each-other-but-still-buddies?
Matt Morgan bothers me, because he’s a “good guy†who acts like a steroided aggressive prick. The thing is, turning him bad would almost be too predictable at this point, because it would make him just a typical bad guy. Perhaps they’re trying to make a social commentary that every wrestler is really a bad guy, regardless of affiliations? Perhaps they’re all trapped in the same kill or be killed environment and no true goodness can come out of this? It would certainly make some sense. Take the three main good guys in TNA¬—Samoa Joe, Christian Cage, and AJ Styles—and consider that one is paranoid and a little too angry for his own good, one is a giant ego who uses his friends to get ahead, and one is a perceived adulterer.
For that matter, take the 2nd tier good guys in TNA—Kaz, Eric Young, and Jay Lethal—and consider that one is an innocent man-child, one is a brash and cocky “dude†with a ponytail from 1992, and one literally believes that he is the Macho Man Randy Savage.
I watched the ODB/Velvet Sky street fight with one of my female roommates. She thought it was sad and pathetic and redneck, but agreed with me that at least these women are in an exploitive situation based on one-dimensional thinking and bloodlust (like the men) as opposed to simply being skinny girls rolling around in bikinis.
I’m one of the few guys around here who actually likes outside interference. As Mick Foley said, “without it, wrestling might begin to resemble a real sport.†In fact, there should be a lot more of it as far as I’m concerned. What bothers me is the 1/1 ratio of outside interference in regards to the victim losing the match. TNA generally does a pretty good job of mixing it up. Team 3D interfered in the first match and the decision was basically thrown out. Angeline Love interfered in the street fight but it amounted to nothing. Booker T interfered in the main but was fought off by Nash and his bat.
Lastly, what is Kaz still doing in the X Division? He wins all their marquee matches and it’s time for them to admit that he’s a heavyweight already before Sabin and co. start to appear like jobbers to the vanilla star.
