Well, first off I’d like to apologize for my absence this past week. I just had a lot of stuff on my plate and it just kept building and building and digging into my time that I usually set aside for my writing. Life just has a tendency of catching up with you sometime and the sucky thing is, is that I had tried to put a column together as much as possible, but it wasn’t ready by the time I needed it to go out, so maybe I’ve got one on the backburner just in case this sort of thing happens again.
In the meantime, we got another summer giant out of the way, and I’m glad to report its one of the ones I was a little wary of, but in the end it came out just fine. This weekend was the “Battle of the Kinda Pretentious Dudes” at the box office, as M. Night Shyamalan’s The Happening did battle with the Edward Norton-lead Incredible Hulk. I’m sure its no surprise which I chose to see in the theater, as I was actually anxious to see how Marvel could continue their success after Iron Man and Shyamalan is going to have to go a long way to get me back in the theater after I got burned with Lady in the Water.
Now, I’m not one to really bash Ang Lee’s Hulk, as I’m actually a big fan of it and I actually really love how the movie tried to delve deeper into Bruce Banner than we’d ever seen before. On the other hand, I can see that a movie that ends with the Hulk fighting a giant mushroom thing could fail with general audiences. So Marvel’s decision to bring in the director of Transporter 2 and Unleashed was a way to try and win the fans back, and I’ll be really surprised if that isn’t exactly what happens.
So in celebration of Hulk doing a lot of smashing, today I’m presenting my list of my favorite Superhero Smackdowns. These are all superhero related fights that took place on the big screen, though part of me would love to include some awesome TV fights, such as Superman Vs. Captain Marvel from Justice League Unlimited, Thor Vs. Lou Ferrigno’s Hulk from The Incredible Hulk Returns or even The Tick fighting a version of himself made completely out of his own snot. So without further ado…
Rob’s Favorite Superhero Fights
11.Ironman Vs. Terrorists
Film: Ironman
Combatants: Robert Downey Jr’s Tony Stark/Ironman and a town full of soon-to-be-dead terrorist douche-bags.
Honestly, this one may end up higher on this list with time, but I’ve only seen Ironman once and I’m going to have to let it simmer and really see where it stacks up. Still, this is my favorite action sequence from absolutely one of the best movies of the summer and I can’t wait to see if they’re able to top this in the next film. This really shows just how cool a hero like Ironman could really be, especially the Robocop-ish sequence in which he targets and then takes out a bunch of terrorists.
10.Deathstrike Strikes
Film: X2: X-Men United
Combatants: Hugh Jackman’s Wolverine and Kelly Hu’s Lady Deathstrike
As much as I do like the first X-Men as a whole, the movie kind of leaves a lot to be desired when it comes to action. The same can not really be said for the movie’s incredible sequel, which really set the bar high for Marvel’s modern day franchises, a bar that hasn’t been surpassed all that many times since then. The premiere fight in the movie is this showdown between these two Adamantium-enhanced powerhouses. I really like how this fight is staged, using wirework but not relying two heavily on it. I also like that Deathstrike is actually kicking the crap out of Wolverine for most of this fight and he has to use his brain to be able to get out of it. Pound for pound, I don’t think any fight in the series is this powerful.
9.The Green Desert Storm
Film: Hulk
Combatants: The Hulk Vs. The United State Army
This is the signature Action sequence from this movie, and in my opinion it still stands up. Say what you want about the rest of the flick having too much movie and not enough Hulk, but this is epic superhero action at its finest. The work done by ILM here is awesome and I love seeing the big green guy taking down tanks and helicopters, showing us exactly how powerful he really is. The scope of this sequence is what really sells it, as I don’t think that anything in the new film really feels this BIG.
8.I‘ve Never Seen Garbage Eat Garbage Before…
Film: Superman II
Combatants: Christopher Reeve’s recently re-super powered Clark Kent and Pepper Martin’s soon to be taught a lesson Rocky.
Alright, so maybe this isn’t much of a fight, but watching Clark take a beating from the sucker-punching Rocky earlier in the film is one of the most humiliating beatdowns I’ve ever seen in any movie. The moment hits you pretty hard emotionally, so when Kent shows up at the end of the movie looking for a little payback, its hard to begrudge him a little vindication. Plus, you get the feeling that Clark wasn’t Rocky’s first victim, so this probably ended up saving a lot of heartache for the joint’s owners and a lot of angry patrons. To top it all off, Reeve’s deadpan “I’ve been uh…working out,” is pure brilliance and a wonderfully funny moment to end this awesome sequel.
7.Taking some Punishment
Film: The Punisher
Combatants: Thomas Jane’s Frank Castle Vs. Kevin Nash’s ridiculously imposing Russian.
I think the worst part about The Punisher as a film is that its not all bad. If it were just simply crappy from start to finish, it would be completely easy to write it off. For the first two/thirds of the movie you’re waiting for Frank Castle to just finally let loose, and then FINALLY Kevin Nash comes in and the movie has a vicious fight which then snowballs into the movie being kind of good to awesome for the rest of the flick. As for this fight itself, I just really love how brutal and violent it is, but still maintaining the film’s weird sense of humor. The bit where The Russian gets knifed and keeps coming is pretty bad ass and is pretty much in keeping with the comic book’s version of this fight. The conclusion is also fittingly vicious and Jane’s Punisher looks like he’s been through a war before its all over.
6.Blade at the Bloodbath
Film: Blade
Combatants: Wesley Snipes’ Blade Vs. A room full of punk ass bloodsuckers at a bloodsoaked rave.
This was the make or break sequence for this movie. If you’re not with Blade after its black coat wearing, sword swinging, always posing vigilante makes a bloody rave-full of hip undead turn into a room full of all-dead, then you’re just not going to be with this movie. I was with it. I love that Director Stephen Norrington lays all his cards on the table here, and we get to see everything from how gory this movie would get, to seeing the vampires ash, to getting to see Snipes’ all out Martial Arts assault in what really ended up being a pretty groundbreaking sequence for action fans.
5.Incredibles Unite
Film: The Incredibles
Combatants: Mr. Incredible and Family Vs. An Island full of Syndrome’s forces.
God, I love this sequence. The movie builds and builds to this point where you see for the first time just how awesome it could be if you had a family where everyone had superpowers. The setup for this sequence is brilliant too, as we get to see Dash (Spencer Fox) finally let loose after a lifetime of being stifled, and Violet (Sarah Vowell) gets to finally put her invisible and force field powers to use for something other than just hiding who she really is from boys. Then as Mr. Incredible (Craig T. Nelson) and Alastair (Holly Hunter) join the fight, Syndrome’s forces are overwhelmed by their combined teamwork. This is exhilarating film making and puts anything even remotely comparable in either Fantastic Four movie to shame.
4.Hulk-amania
Film: The Incredible Hulk
Combatants: Edward Norton’s big green guy and Tim Roth’s new transformed Abomination.
THIS is what Hulk fans were exactly looking for and why Marvel went out and got Louis Lettier to direct this film. A 15-minute pulse-pounding, face-pounding showdown between two giant behemoths. Again, while this doesn’t have the scale of the desert sequence from Ang Lee’s film, this one scores big time in the visceral exhilaration department. What I want to see is Hulk fighting for his life against an opponent that we know may actually be able to kill him. This is really something that for the first time on screen we’ve gotten in this new flick. Plus Hulk tears apart a police car and uses it as boxing gloves. This is well staged, well funded mayhem, which is exactly what it should be.
3.The Enemy of my Enemy is my Enemy
Film: Blade II
Combatants: Blade Vs. Luke Goss’ scary-ass Nomak
If you’ve read this column or my DVD reviews before, you might know how much I love Donnie Yen’s fight choreography, and here he puts a team together that comes up with an amazing fist-popping, kick crunching, elbow dropping beat down that leaves you dying for more. This fight is one of the reasons why none of us really care about Blade: Trinity, because nothing in the next film even gets to sniff the amount of its awesomeness in this fight. I know he’s in jail right now, but watching this makes you wonder just where this Wesley Snipes went. Snipes WAS Blade and in this fight you see him in his smack talking, arm breaking, samurai-esque glory.
2.Spider-Man Catches a Train
Film: Spider-Man 2
Combatants: Tobey Maguire’s Spider-Man and Alfred Molina’s awesome Dr. Otto Octavius.
It’s got to be a tough thing to be able to juggle effects, choreography, acting, extras and setting, and Sam Raimi pulls it all off flawlessly here in this sequence and for most of this entire movie. The battles in this film seem to escalate further and further, managing to really culminate action-wise here. This is the real high note in this movie, not only because of the fisticuffs, but because of Peter’s self sacrifice to save the train and the passengers stepping in to try and help Spidey in his moment of need. Where Spider-Man 3 managed to have so many missteps, this first sequel managed to score one slam dunk after another and none higher than this scene.
1.You Care to Step Outside?
Film: Superman II
Combatants: Superman Vs. General Zod and his Triumvirate of Terror.
Yes, the effects are a bit dated and if you’ve only seen Richard Lester’s goofier version, then there are some that don’t fly like they used to. Then again, there’s Richard Donner’s awesome cut of this movie, and even in the original clash, no superhero fight in any movie can match this one for scale, execution, style, and emotional resonance. It helps to have a terrific villain, and Terrance Stamp’s General Zod fits the bill, along with Sarah Douglas and Jack O’Halloran along for the ride as the diabolical Ursa and the mute, overpowering Non. Again, the scale of this fight is tremendous, as Times Square gets to stand in for Metropolis, while ACTUAL cars fly through the air and Superman punches Non through buildings. It doesn’t make sense to me why no superhero fight has tried to stage a battle on this scale, but then again, I guess this is why the Superman films still seem to feel bigger than the rest.
At the center of it all is the perfect actor/character combo of Christopher Reeve, embodying the majesty of Superman and the humanity of Clark Kent. His concern for the people of the Metropolis anchors him as he still tries to defend and the world from Zod’s plans for annihilation. This is what a superhero fight should be and hopefully someday we’ll get another battle that can top it.
