When I went to TNAWrestling.com to look up what to expect from this week’s Impact, I was disappointed by the list of matches. Booker T vs Kevin Nash would be a slow, plodding affair between my two favorite former WCW alumni (make Scott Steiner the special referee and I would have been THERE, though), and Christian vs Brother Ray reminded me of the dark, terrible period of 2003 when we all went an entire year without a single quality wrestling story. Now, unfortunately (for the part of me that likes slow, plodding WCW wrestling) I didn’t catch the main event. But that’s okay, since I’m not a recap guy. I can’t imagine the main event included anything nearly as interesting as what happened during the Christian/Brother Ray match anyway.
The match itself was surprisingly athletic, but this was a sportz entertainment match, the only point being what happened during its salty conclusion. Brother Ray announced that we would see something tonight that we had never seen before. He was right. This unnamed alliance (it’s hardly the Angle Alliance at this point) between Team 3D and Tomko (that’s grown offstage to include the Beautiful People and Angle) proceeded to put Christian through a glass table. It was fucking awesome, a true example of how the bad guys in TNA are not only smarter, but also more capable of delivering the goods to the now quenched violence-happy crowd than the good guys. But that wasn’t the thing we’d never seen before. What happened for the first time ever was that Brother Ray came out as an A-list performer.
Brother Ray did three things during this episode of Impact. The first was an absolutely stellar monologue that preceded the match. It was filled with top brass intonation and gravitas. Brother Ray has always been a great mouthpiece, but the reigns of WWE’s creative team soiled him a bit. It’s wonderful to see him off the rails again. The second thing he did was orchestrate the massacre of Christian onto the table, which is an image that TNA should use in all of its montages from now on. The third thing—and the one that’s far more important—was what he did during the backstage skit later on in the show with Angle. Brother Ray confronted Angle and expressed his fatigue about the Karen situation. “But she cheated on me,†Angle said, defending his focus. Brother Ray instantaneously deflated the entire situation by saying “Yeah, I get that, but…†and offering Kurt a series of blind dates for the following week. In that moment, Ray represented the audiences wish that we begin to move on from the Karen story and give them something new. I’m sure the dates will go hilariously poorly, and we’ll go right back to Kurt/Karen/AJ (because two matches between the two of them is not nearly enough), but this scene provided us with a) a reason for Kurt to not wrestle for a while, and b) a reason to get funny Kurt back. Both of these things would be great.
Along with an increasingly human D-Von, the Dudleys have become (pardon the pun) true 3 dimensional characters in TNA, in a way they weren’t even a year ago. Who knew?
The other thing I wanted to talk about was the women’s division, which is now taking up about half the show. Three scenes used the knockout division, with incredibly different results. Awesome Kong dismantled another fan, but the blonde from last week interfered and demanded a rematch. Cornette came out (his only appearance on the show) and told her that she’d have to beat Saeed first. I have to assume we’ll have that match next week, with the rematch happening at Victory Road. It was a predictable scene, but I can’t complain about Saeed getting more ring time, since she’s absolutely excellent.
The second match occurred between Moose (who I figured had been let go, since she has no real purpose, can barely wrestle, and is hardly a foil for anyone) and ODB. It was a garbage hardcore match that went nowhere and did nothing, with the wrong person winning. What happened to ODB being an unstoppable brute woman? Did she just get usurped? By this woman? Seriously? Moose is awful, and it’s not because she’s not pretty. Awesome Kong isn’t exactly playboy material, but she has a professionalism about her that can’t be ignored. Moose comes across as redneck bait for backyard wrestling fans. Every single womens wrestler in the division has something going for her except for Moose, and I think it would be in everyone’s best interest to let her go.
The third scene was the most interesting piece of character development I’ve seen in a female character since Trish became evil in 2004. They aired a background piece on Angelina Love (these pieces are astounding, by the way), and it focused on how green she was when she first broke in. They used clips from Border City Wrestling and early TNA, and it painted a picture of exactly how she came to be the way she was. The pivotal part of it was when she mentioned Gail Kim, however. Angelina, as a young upstart, when to Gail for advice and help. Gail apparently refused, brushing off the rookie. Angelina finished the point by saying the act was “typical Gail.†This one line made both their characters 100% more interesting. Now, we know that Angelina was once a hopeful young starry eyed soul, and we know that Gail was once (or still is?) a diva (which may have been a shot at the WWE). This is what happens when shades of gray are used properly. I can’t wait for their match at the PPV now.
One last point. Take Frank Trigg off the TV, please. I’m a wrestling fan. I’m not an MMA fan. The two have nothing to do with one another, so please stop placing them in the same light, TNA. This will not end well for your fake sport.
